DISQUS

Danny · 3 years ago

HI,
Just wanted to throw in my two cents. Ive been a fan of Stephen Colbert ever since i got cable about 6 months ago. He follows my current favorite TV news program - The Daily Show. Like the Daily show, Stephen Colbert does a tongue in cheek approach to news. The Daily show parallels the network news and The Colbert report imitates Fox news shows like O'reilly factor and Chris Matthews. His rants are quite comedic in delivery. His hand gestures are dead give-aways for OCD behavior. he hates Bears, liberal elitists and any criticism of our current president. He is a well spoken, likeable anchorman whose ego outways any information contrary to his beliefts. He thinks the Iraqi Civil war (yet to be confirmed) to be our presidents exit strategy.
I dont konw what else to say. He also meets potential guests with a starting basketball lineup entrance - hi-fiving the audience and stroking his already enourmous ego. Quite entertaining.

Thats about it. Hope that helps.
Danny

nathan · 3 years ago

Mr. "GW" - watch out for that obvious one, what do you have against china? Everyone knows that nothing is made here. It all comes from China. Why do you hate those people?

Kathi · 3 years ago

laugh hardily at everything Steve says before giving an answer. Play the straight guy to his jokes...he will let you through unscathed.

Good luck!!

Kindmtnmama · 3 years ago

Please know that Stephen does an AMAZING job with brilliant SATIRE - he is spoofing "Papa Bear" (aka Bill O'Reilly) so he will PRETEND to be on Fox's side but will give you the opportunity to explain/defend/promote your positions and views. I think you will gain MANY new fans of your films from this show and want you to do one thing - BE FUNNY AND SMART when answering his questions. Remember - he is on OUR side and wants to give you the chance to 'convert' him from Pap Bear's side. GOOD LUCK! We'll be watching here in CO.

Jeanne · 3 years ago

Just be cool. Actually, look serious and meritorious. Don't giggle or laugh too much when he attacks you. Maybe rehearse some cool comebacks.

Al · 3 years ago

Throw him off his game by giving him a gift. A red white and blue loofa might work.

John Kilgore · 3 years ago

I am aware of your predicament, and I've given this a great deal of thought. The way to disarm him and have him eating out of your hands is tell him how good looking he is. If you do this he is yours for the time you will be on.

Rob H · 3 years ago

I can't give any specific advice, but if a certain question stumps you and you can't think of anything to respond with, just stare at him and say "I thought you were great in 'The 40-Year-Old Virgin".

Chuck Van Wey · 3 years ago

Robert: You'll be fine if you remember this one point - Colbert is an utter narcissist. Compliment him at every turn. He really believes that he is a professional journalist, not to mention, god's gift to women. Say things like: What a splendid tie! Where did you get those wonderful shoes? That's the kind of incisive question I would expect from an old pro (he loves double entendres) like you.

Kiss Colbert's ass. It's his achilles heel... so to speak!

Bill Prady · 3 years ago

The key to a successful appearance is to understand the comedic premise of the program and not to fight it. What Colbert is doing is a thinly veiled satire of O'Reilly and the like, and he maintains this character throughout the interview.

One of the key rules of comedic improv is called "yes, and." The premise being that a participant agrees to the concept of the scenario. To that end, treat the interviewer as if the character is legitimate. ALLOW HIM TO DEMONSTRATE THE FOOLISHNESS OF THE POINTS OF VIEW HE'S PORTRAYING!

Also, avoid minutia. Offer him softball comedic setups like "don't you think America deserves a free and unbiased press?" A question like that permits him to answer in character and demonstrate that the individuals he's portraying do not, in fact, want a free press.

Most of all, don't try to be funny. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Kathy · 3 years ago

Save yourself - go drunk.

Rich · 3 years ago

Wrap yourself in the American flag. Literally. Or at least have a lapel pin! Colbert is always asking why people hate America, so wearing the flag should deflect that! And enjoy!

MaRIE · 3 years ago

Just keep putting the message across. Hit him with his own stuff...tell him how great he is to the point he will look stupid....

Expose the Democrats fro the spineless whips they have become and tell the world WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACK
Former Democrat

Alex · 3 years ago

My advice is to not take yourself too too seriously...the people who look really dumb are people who dont get that it's a joke and are incapable of laughing at themselves. Make your points, but dont be overly dogmatic...and just go with it.

Ron Cronovich · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I don't think you have anything to worry about. I believe Stephen Colbert is fairly sympathetic to your views. Really! When he acts like an ultra-conservative, he is NOT doing so because that's what he believes, but because he believes the opposite and is mocking ultra-conservatives. Just like Tim Robbins in the early 90s film "Bob Roberts" (which all of you should watch if you haven't - it's amazing!!!).

Stephen will probably start the interview by saying something like "Robert, thanks for being on the show. So, why do you hate America?" He is making fun of right-wing commentators who think anyone to the left of center hates America.

Really, Robert, you'll be fine. Have fun, and we all look forward to watching!

Best,
Ron

Bert Crews · 3 years ago

Give up now, your career is over once you've been Colbert-ed!

Tony Bozanich · 3 years ago

Don't talk about bears!

Mitch Wertlieb · 3 years ago

Robert,

First of all, don't sweat it.

The simple secret to the Colbert report is that Stephen is already doing the work for you--he exists as a parody of Bill O'Reilly and every snide comment he makes referring to you as a "tree-hugger", socialist, anti-America-firster, etc. is a nod and a wink to his audience that those are exactly the kind of knee-jerk right wing-nut blanket statements O'Reilly himself would make.

You need only to smile and play alog--admit that, for example, yes, you are just jealous that Wal-Mart offers fabulous deals on Garth Brooks CD's that you're too afraid to even ask for at your snooty vinyl-only dinosaur record shop in the West Village that you frequent to appear hip and anti-consumerist....

when he asks what you have against "Fair and Balanced" Fox News, say that "slanted and biased" liberal media has to eat, too....seriously, he'll eat that right up.

The mistake most guests make on that show is they don't get that he's always in character...unlike Jon Stewart who will engage in a serious discussion w/a guest. Stephen's not interested in getting to the root of what's wrong w/WalMart and Fox...he wants laughs and the best way to get them is to play the foil role of the liberal elitist to his blue-collar workingman's hero that, of course, is really just an elitist right winger with an attitude.

If you REALLY want to score big: Tell him your next documentary is about the misunderstood American Grizzly Bear. (Colbert has a running inside joke with his viewers about his fear and hatred of bears...if you make this joke, you will elicit a fantastic response from the crowd and will show your 13-year old son that his Dad is the hippest guy of all!) Good luck.

Jambone · 3 years ago

It appears one of his favorite questions to ask is: "George W. Bush - great president, or the greatest?" You might take the "politician's approach," and, rather than answer his question, ask him one of your own: "Stephen Colbert - foolhardy, or just a fool?"

Wendy C · 3 years ago

I think your first reaction was the best and one you should go with - run and hide! Your 13 year old will get over it (after years of expensive therapy).
Good luck - can't wait to see you creamed by Mr. Colbert!

mags · 3 years ago

remember - it's a satire show - don't take it too seriously - you're preaching to the choir - be bright - be quick - be amused and amusing

Patrick D · 3 years ago

More than anything, remember to SIT ON YOUR JACKET. That is, sweep the tail of your jacket under your butt and sit on it when you're brought onto the set. This will keep the back of your jacket from bunching up around your neck. We don't notice it in real life, but on television a bunched-up jacket sticks out like a sore thumb and it makes you look as if there's something wrong with you. Sit on your jacket.

Toby P · 3 years ago

I don't think you need any help at all. Just be yourself, and REMEMBER, this is all SATIRE! Also, remember all your fans. All of us who watch and disseminate your documentaries will be pulling for you. (Give Kieth Obermann a call too!)

Lisa · 3 years ago

Robert -

Just ask Stephen:

"GW Bush. Bad president? or the worst president?".

Best of luck,

Lisa

Earle Hager · 3 years ago

Ask him where he bought his tie, then call him an elitist for not buying it at WalMart.

I heard an NPR interview with him and he said his objective was not to talk down to the room, but to raise the level of the room just a little. It's what makes his show so great.

You could tell him you think Neil Cavuto is better than Papa Bear.

Ask him why he doesn't feature any of the stories on dead white women that Fox and everyone else is covering. Ask him about his journalistic standards on missing this, the real key story.

Ask him who would win at thumb fighting or checkers, Papa Bear or Keith Olbermann.

Cynthia · 3 years ago

This could be an opportunity to educate:
If the interview permits it, perhaps make a reference to the political stratagy of not allowing black people to return to New Orleans( will most certainly make it a Republican district). That should "please" Papa Bear. (An administration email to that effect surfaced a few days after Katrina.)
OR you might advise the audience to read or re-read 1984. Most people have no idea what "Orwellian" or "Big Brother" or "Doublespeak" means.
Good Luck!!!!!

Eric Verlo · 3 years ago

I'm an expert at looking foolish, so you might try the opposite of my advice.

I say: know that your motives are good and that you have an earnest desire to inform and nuture change. If you look foolish for wanting to do that and for thinking you can do that, all the better.

T · 3 years ago

Yep... its all in good fun. You've got to have a sense of humor about it, be in on the joke. Have a quip or two ready -- I love the "40 year Old Virgin" retort mentioned above. Stick in your point somewhere, but don't belabor it; the best exposure is just that you and the film wil be mentioned.

spikerlee · 3 years ago

He'll probably ask you why you hate our troops and why you hate America. If you can prepare for those two, I think you'll be great. You'll be great anyway. Don't worry. He really is on your side.

Brad · 3 years ago

Let Mr. Colbert know that he has not escaped Brave New Films’ cool, laser-like ability to eviscerate and destroy its political enemies. Let him know that top-secret work is being done on the sequel to Uncovered. The title? UnColberted!
Let him know that you plan to tell the truth about “truthiness” and you also plan to reveal what really happened on that foggy bridge the night of Mr. Colbert’s senior prom.

Richard Wagner · 3 years ago

Steven Colbert is a satirist. You are a progressive. What fun!! Worry not...you will survive intact.

Lynne · 3 years ago

I agree with Kathi's advice. Just laugh along and enjoy yourself. No matter what questions he comes up with, it will be a great opportunity for you to publicize your work. Have fun, and know that underneath his act, he's on your side.

PS--Chris Matthews is MSNBC NOT Fox!!

Tim · 3 years ago

Yes, the next documentary shouldl be about exposing the sinister ambitions of the American Black Bear and how they are part of the Hollywood/Ivy League Liberal Elites' plan to ruin every institution that made America great. Indeed, expose the endangered species act as the first step to ruining America because it gives man Bears special rights... to be protected!

Bill Beckerman · 3 years ago

Just look him directly in the eye and call him a frog; then correct yourself and say the word fraud.

I get laughs with that one.

billb

Sandi · 3 years ago

Point out that expanding factories in China will destroy bear habitats (and that's a good thing!).

Anony Mouse · 3 years ago

Pick one message you hope to convey and stick to it - to the point of parody of the typical polition. And never, every, under any circumstances answer the question he asks - answer a different one.

Burt · 3 years ago

Uh, it amazes me how many people don't know that Colbert is being satirical...much like your request. ARGH!

John · 3 years ago

I would give him voice synthesizer. I bet he would really really like that. Oh and the caller ID block code.

Doug Sooley · 3 years ago

Robert,

It's Stephen Colbert for God's sake! Kick the scaffolding out from under you and trust that you will fly. Have some fun man! Stephen is a warm, genuine and "real" man...just play his game (the prickish, arrogant news guy) and you have a blast.

Check all the facts at the door and just go in with heart, Colbert brings nothing less than that to his show.

Best line to ask Stephen, "When was the last time you bought a six-pack of tube socks?"

DPS

Don Braxton · 3 years ago

Suggestion #1: Don't take yourself or your political agenda too seriously. Liberals kill themselves by not being able to make fun of themselves in the media.
Suggestion #2: Suggest that a cadre of top secret intelligent bears really own a silent majority in Fox and in Comedy Central. Encourage Colbert to do the digging.
Suggestion #3: Show up in a bear costume to accomplish suggestion #2.
Suggestion #4: Take one of the Staples' easy buttons and riotously start clicking it when Colbert corners you. When nothing happens, next announce in a deadpan delivery you will not shop at Walmart any more. Make direct eye contact witht eh camera when you deliver this line.
Suggestion #5: Ask for a hug at the end of the interview because "You really feel like you and Stephen have bonded." If he says no, tell him it's not right to deny the love and that you have heard anchormen lead lonely lives. Inform him that Ron Burgundy learned to accept Veronica Corningstone for who she is, so it's time to "let the love in."

Paris Business Review · 3 years ago

He'll ask:

Robert, why do you hate Capitalism?

and

Robert, why do you hate America?

Robbie Conal · 3 years ago

Yo Robert,
Whatever he accuses you of--admit it.
The old Michael Jackson on AM talk radio, used to have me on a couple times a year and always got around to declaring that guerrilla street postering was the same a graffiti: law-breaking vandalism. And what did I have to say about THAT? The only tactic that ever worked for me was to agree.
Also, I suggest you continually address him as "Mr. O'Reilly." (As if you've made a slight mistake: you think you're on Bill O'Reilly's show. Even after he corrects you or even if he ignores it). Please keep in mind that your acceptance of Colbert's invitation to appear on his show proves you're a media slut—in the nicest sense of the term. So...ENJOY!
Bunnyhugs, Robbie

Cynthia · 3 years ago

Maybe you could gift Stephen with a copy of 1984.

Dave Newbold · 3 years ago

This is simple: Just bring a suitcase full of cash 'from my friends in Texas'...

or what is left of George W.'s oilfields (maybe a tiny little oil pump?)

or the contents of Bill O'Reilly's medicine cabinet?

the only real question is where to stop having fun?

Have fun! (I wish I had cable - will you guys post the video?)

Woody · 3 years ago

So, why do you hate America?

How long have you been trying to endanger the troops?

So since you are not with us, you are with the terrorists?

Do all east-coast, liberal-elitist-filmakers support din Laden and Saddam Hussein?

Why do you hate America?

So, you hate Wal-Mart.. you must be a card carry member of the communist party then?

If Wal-Mart placed a large order for your Movie, would you accept the order if they wanted another 15 points off?

Basic childish right-wing style manipulative BS. But he's kidding! keep a good sense of humor and mention his use of profanity on the show. Mention he has cried on the show-showing weakness. Bring up the fact that he doesn't have a ten commandments on his bookshelf. Ask him what he is doing during the Rapture.

Michael · 3 years ago

You're screwed, Man! Run while you still have your dignity.

Charlie Clifton · 3 years ago

Wear a Bill O'Reilly mask.

When you take it off, you'll have a George Bush mask on underneath.

When you take the George Bush mask off, have a piece of something taped behind one of your ears so that it sticks out.

When he remarks on it , ask if he has something against people with disabilities.

James · 3 years ago

Please mention that your next film will be "9/11 Uncovered: The Case for Controlled Demolition": http://st911.org

Windowdog · 3 years ago

Surviving Colbert is simple. Just assume he's going to use the most biased fact set he can against you and accuse you of hating America every time you make a point. You just need to talk past him and keep on point. Assuming you don't have the quick wit to turn his jabs back on him like the poker champion did, just keep on point and don't really engage in a discussion. Every statement and question should just trigger a prepared line about some point you want to make.

Whatever you do don't attempt a thoughtful reflective diaglog. That is when he pins you into loving Al Queda and hating the troops.

Oh and say that you can tell he buys his wardrobe at Wal-Mart. That'll help too.

paul Staheli · 3 years ago

when ever the mood hit you jump up and take a victory lap as steven does prior to his interviewing his guests.

Celine · 3 years ago

Dignity, shmignit! I am sitting here with my BackwardsBush "Days Left In Office... o'meter counting down, and it is 1029 days left. That has to be more important than a little spoofing and potential loss of dignity. Take the opportunity to make a statement to some potential new ears. The election this year is the most important thing now. They can do too much damage if left in office for 1029 more days. God help us in dealing with what they are doing right now. Go for it! Get some shots in and watch how proud you son will be.

Dindi · 3 years ago

Stephen will ask you why you don't want the American people to save money (a Walmart dig). Tell him that for every dime they are saving at Walmart, they are sending more of their taxes to pay for Walmart's employees' medical care instead of to schools and infrastructure rebuilding. Laugh first.

Woody · 3 years ago

My god, a bear costume would be the best! Or maybe bring an old bear skin rug with the head still on it! Something bear related. Ask if he hates himself because he is a cheese-eating surrender monkey (french).

Seriously as him about being conflicted as a frenchman coward. He might cry!!!

Jay Zaslaw · 3 years ago

Stay focused on the present tense. Hannity and his ilk cannot deal with Bush's mistakes--they take you back to a more comfortable zone. That's how Hannity scored on Springer.

Get your questions answered; they are master deflectors.

Kathleen · 3 years ago

The guy is an idiot.....he is too insecure to let anyone speak. I would just keep a smile on my face and remain calm and not let him ruffle your feathers. I know you can come up with bright, simple questions for answers, just keep bouncing the ball back in his court.

Christopher Flynn · 3 years ago

Dear Mr. Greenwald,
Just be yourself and not intimidated by Mr. Colbert. I'm sure he's probably got some insecurities in the fact that he attacks the people he interviews. Be strong in your convictions and don't allow anger to enter in your presentation of your views.(or his responses...)

Mike from Canada · 3 years ago

Don't be defensive. This seems to be the best approach. Realize that the show and its fans support you, and Colbert's "attacks" are really satirizing his own (conservative) posture.

So, answer genuinely but don't be combative. The best guests seem to be the ones who are in on the joke.

Martha Whitehouse · 3 years ago

Stephen Colbert is great at acting like a Bill O'Reilly jerk, while simultaneously showing his audience how idiotic people like Bill O'Reilly are.
He likes to take ridiculous right wing stands to show how ridiculous they are. Keeping that in mind, remember that he will probably say something like, "Walmart is part of America. Do you hate America?" When you answer you should answer every question as if it is a straight question. Your straight answers give him something to play his character off of and he will love you for it. Since he is playing a self-styled right wing jerk, he will talk over your answers, then ask you an impossible to answer question and eventually give you one break to say what your really need to say. When he gives you that break, take it and run.

Len X. Clayton · 3 years ago

Reverse psychology could work. Have your researchers look through previous Colbert Report episodes, memorize Stephen's own words and repeat them to him verbatim. Tell him that Bill O'Really is the world's best reporter. Attack Democrats (they deserve it, anyway), praise GWB. Urge him to buy his suits at Walmart and convert to gasoline powered generators to run his lights and cameras. Suggest that he take his show to China as he could get cheaper grips and gaffers there. Try and trick him into stating your positions...
Good Luck!
Len X.

BILL PRATT · 3 years ago

JUMP INTO THE MOCK SERIOUS MODE.

WHEN S.C. GOES WITH HIS:
"IS W GREAT -- PRES. -- OR GREATEST?" CANARD, RUN A STRING OF SUPERLATIVE OPPOSITES.

FIRST: "OH NO, SOMETHING BEYOND!!"
S.C. COMES BACK WITH: "LIKE WHAT, e.g."
SAY: "ARTICULATION. HARD WORK. SAVIN MERCN LIVES. KEEPIN THE DEBT DOWN. SAVIN JOBS. BRINGIN RESPECTABILITY BACK TO GOVNMNT. ETC. ETC.
S.C. "I'VE HEARD ITS THE OPPOSITE."
YOU: "LIBRL MEDIA!!"

YOU GO ON WITH A NOTION YOU ARE GOING TO OUT-FACT S.C's MOCK O'REILLY STYLE -- YOU END UP LOOKING LIKE BRAD SHERMAN.

Bud · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald,
I am a fan of Stephen Colbert. I think one question you might consider is why you hate capitalism and our American way of life. (your vicious attacks on Wal-Mart) Great Work!!!!

Martian · 3 years ago

Tell him your next documentary is on people who have two different body parts that aren't symmetrical....ears, for example.

chuck stikl · 3 years ago

Never be sympathetic to bears!

Patricia · 3 years ago

Watch the interview with Al Franken and take inspiration from him. He was magnificent. Good luck!

Eli · 3 years ago

Well, now that you went this route, Colbert WILL indeed try to go after your dignity, and rightly so. There's no way in hell they haven't read this blog of yours, and now I expect this very blog to make it onto the show.

Doug Simmer · 3 years ago

Wear the same style of nerd glasses he wears and you will earn immediate cred. Also you might compliment him on his appearances on "Who's Line", where he is pushed outside his comfort zone. I believe the guy is fast learning to be a great comedian...and you will be fine.

Carol · 3 years ago

You can guarantee that he will attack your strengths and success. It's been said that our strengths and weaknesses are the same. What you do is expose the dark side of government and corporate America ... you're a modern Noam Chompsky with a Michael Moore-esque camera lurking. You're the conspiracy and exploitation theorist. So expect to be attacked as a radical, liberal whose against big business.

I like what Al Franken did when interviewed by Cobert. He said 'That's a very good question.' It gave him time to think. This is good training for you! We have to be able to laugh at ourselves. Nothing substantive will be discussed on the show.

Be prepared with 30 second come backs that show you can laugh at yourself. Cobert is for you. Have him be your friend. Agree with him. Compliment him. Have conversations FOR what you're committed to: ethics in business and government. Speak that it's time for a new paradigm in how we do business and run the government. Not heavy, but funny and easy. 30 second sound bites.

Fountain · 3 years ago

The best approach is try to be the peacemaker. Colbert's MO is to goad his guest with questions that demonstrate his bull-headed nature. Don't actually get sucked into trying to answer the question (or worrying about being funny). It's better just to say something along the lines of "I think I understand what you are saying but I've always thought..."

And just as you would on a conservative talk show let him know that you realize that you and he don't agree on all of the issues but you think its important to have a dialogue, that you are trying to undestand his and his viewers point of view.

In the way of extending the olive branch, you can admit that you had previously misjudged his show as the typical right wing hot-air fest, but now you realize that the Colbert Report is something different and that you feel like tonight would be a good time to start the healing process.

Also realize that probably every writer of his show is on your maling list.

Have fun!

Marcielle Brandler,Poet · 3 years ago

I say, allow yourself to be duped. Don't fight it. Know that you are safe in the Universe and that this is all in fun. Perhaps have a sip of your favorite alcohol before going on.

Why not just enjoy it?

SpitBall · 3 years ago

Just relax and have fun. It is a COMEDY SHOW, not a news show. Above all, don't get defensive. The only way to lose your dignity is to give it away.

Maria · 3 years ago

when you get in a jam, just say:
"The time to panic is now" or
"Paranoia is nothing more than a heightened state of awareness."
no one, but no one, can respond to either of those comments. it will give you a bit of breathing room, if nothing else!
i'll be watching ... break a leg!

Howard · 3 years ago

Your first instinct was right., i.e. run and hide.

Your fame is going to your head and that is a very dangerous thing.

You are a filmmaker and a damm good one, not a celebrity. YOu can't be both. Decide which one you want to be and stick to it..

I have great respect for you. I am an amatour film maker myself.

Leah Barr · 3 years ago

The only way you will look like a fool is if you take the whole thing seriously. You can easily get some great points across (Colbert will give you some opportunities, set up as 'hardball' questions), just use some humor and/or irony to deliver them, which is something you can do very well.

You could use facts as unbelievable hyperbole, then reveal them to be true! (i.e. "Would you believe......XYZ? No, seriously, that is an actual number from the 2005 results of...." etc.)

Use a good mix of serious points and wry humor and you will come out smelling like a rose. I disagree that you need to stroke Colbert's ego, you just need to avoid putting him down....but what self-respecting guest would do that to a host anyway? If a guest isn't funny, he'll MAKE you funny (and not in a good way.) He wants his show to be funny, and if you help him do that, you'll both be winners.

You'll do fine, relax. He's on your side already, but you knew that didn't you? No one really believes he's seriously right wing do they?

Russ Offenbach · 3 years ago

I learned a wonderful technique for making someone uncomfortable in a one on one situation. When I was in the USAF, it was my responsiblity to issue classified documents to pilots and navagators flying to Southeast Asia. One navagator in particular would come into the office wearing his totally opaque sun glasses to look "cool" but I couldn't tell whether or not he was paying attention to me, so on his second visit, I focused on an imaginary spot high up on his forehead. He stood a little taller to meet my gaze and I looked even further up and he stood even taller. Finally, after almost falling out of his boots, he removed his sun glasses and we resumed normal eye contact. He always took off his sun glasses in future visits to my office.
You might want to try this, if nothing else works. Otherwise, have fun.

Emily Kennedy · 3 years ago

Invoke your right to remain silent.
Really, enjoy- if you think he is bullying you, ask him to stop!
Emily Kennedy
Danville IN

Sylvia Meyer · 3 years ago

Hi - delighted you will go face to face with the adorable satiricist himself... I am 73 years old, lifelong liberal - and feel that this guy is almost Swiftian in his mockery....

Suggestion: since he starts his show with all the flag waving and eagle stuff: you might try coming on in a red white and blue tie and vest - and finding a plastic eagle to perch on your shoulder: my approach would be to out-flag wave him....

Bring some pictures of famous dissenters who made a real difference.... or bring a pix of Ike who cautioned against the military industrial complex... Present him with a dossier of dissenters!!!!

The best most humorous and congenial interviews were with Stone Phillips and Bob Shieffer - who really were convulsed w/laughter! It is the non-hostile, non-fanatic approach that really gets him...

If you play an instrument - why not bring it in and ask him to sing with you some stirring anthem (important for progressives to show humor!) .... you might try "one upsmanshipping" with a surprise or two..... he is a master of improv - so you might rehearse with your son in advance...

Good luck: I'll be cheering for both of you....
Sylvia Meyer, Port Angeles, WAShington!!!!

Alan · 3 years ago

Since bears are always the number one threat in his threat down, and he refers to Bill O'Reilly as "Papa Bear". He must think that Bill O'Reilly is the biggest of the #1 threat to America. Ask him why?

lenny · 3 years ago

Don't sweat it. Regular people who try to keep up with the real funny late night hosts always look bad. Check out Bill O'Reilly on The Daily Show or Letterman. Simply answer the questions straight and keep a stoic face, not an angry one. By taking it seriously you will be funny.

Paul Clift · 3 years ago

I would go with good humor. No matter what.
The show has gained in popularity because of the humor. If you are to serious they could make you out to be over zealous. Go have some fun and enjoy yourself. People will pick up on that and be attracted to your cause.
Tell him you want to go bear hunting with him.
or bare hunting?
Good Luck

Howard Leib · 3 years ago

Having seen every episode, maybe I can offer some insight. Let's sum up and add a little:

Yes, this is satire, most of his audience is already on your side, so is the studio audience, but you will get no where by going on the attack, remember, it is his show, it is a comedy show that uses politics and commentary, not a funny political show and these are his fans, so go along with him.

The questions to expect:

Why do you hate America:

Answer: I love America enough to be honest with it. There is nothing more important than the truth, don't you agree Stephen?

George Bush - Great President or Greatest President
Answer Greatest of this century (so far)
or
2nd Greatest of this Century so far (if he takes the bait and asks who the first greatest is, the answer is the next one.

Why do you hate WalMart -
Answer - Because they are run by a secret cabal of American Black Bears and Chinese Panda Bears, and bears are evil.

If he asks you about charges from your critcs, tell him that he, of all people, should recognize the difference between truthiness and truth.

Adopting his pretended hatred of bears is the closest you should come to actually joking. Remember you want to agree with him, even when you are disagreeing. Take the attitude of being with him, not against him.

YOu should have a great time.

Daniel · 3 years ago

I think he will ask you if you use your political position to influence your "Dad" Alan Greenspan, ex-chairman of the fed. I could see the writers having fun with trying to mix your last names up. If so be prepared to respond to Andrea Mitchell questions too!

Jordan · 3 years ago

Robert,

Here's my advise for prepping for The Colbert Report... 1) Keep a serious (this is not a joke) face intact until the end of the interview. That's when you give him the This-has-been-a-good-role-play-experience-smile.

2) Match the energy Colbert will throw at you.

3) Come up with a great answer to "Why does Robert Greenwald hate America so much?"

Good Luck!!! and have fun!

Ken McGwire · 3 years ago

SURE FIRE WAY TO TURN TABLES ON COLBERT....

Any regular viewer Colbert knows he is deathly afraid of bears, and yet he refers to Bill O'Reilly as "Papa Bear". Bring up O'Reilly to lure him into the "Papa Bear" reference. Then point out that bears are vicous, untrustworthy, and dangerous to society, just like O'Reilly. Then turn his bear phobia on him... is Stephen Colbert actually a closet ursaphile?

Good luck.

Michael Markowitz · 3 years ago

Congratulations on making it to the Big Show!

Just don't try to top him, relax and let him drive. He'll make sure you look good.

Of course if he asks why you hate the president, or mentions the president (which he surely will, of course), you can say something like:

"Far from hating him, I predict a bright future for him, Stephen. Between the fact that he's never won an honest election and his total disregard for the Constitution, I predict he will be re-elected in 2008."

Amber Poklar · 3 years ago

You could fend at any point by saying that Colbert is biased against you due to the fact that you have bears on your staff.

You could also defend yourself by quoting Stephen as saying, "Research is for girls". He will either let that one slide, or deny it. If he denies it, tell him that he may have never said it, but it FEELS true to you.

If you want to freak him out, fix him with an icy stare, and mutter that you hear that a lot of angry bears are planning to vacation on Sullivan's Island this summer. On Ion Ave. Hungry bears.

Hell, just relax and enjoy the ride in good humor. The worse thing you could do it to try too hard to advance your point. Stephen is having you on the show because he wants to do that for you. Enjoy yourself!

Fran Murphy · 3 years ago

Just make sure they spell your name right and promote the name of your latest and greatest production.
The rest is just for show...and Steven is hilarious...so just enjoy the ride!!

Brad · 3 years ago

Let him know that the fine folks at Brave New Films has taken The Colbert Report feedback to heart. Let him know that you understand that the documentaries are too boring because of all of those annoying “facts” and you are taking steps to correct that. Tell him that the upcoming docs from BNF will include rockin’, top-40 soundtracks, all-star casts, more car chases, explosions, and rolling fireballs, and that the mind-blowing CGI work in The Big Buy will knock his socks off!

bruce kay · 3 years ago

I' d ask how to become an overnight sensation (like him)
But I won't try to out tongue-in-cheek SC,
we wouldn't hear a word you say...

Janine · 3 years ago

Just remember that Steven's playing a role--Bill O'Reilly to balloon headed proportions even Bill O'Reilly himself couldn't get to.

Everything Steven's going to say/ask is for satirical effect and as someone else already said, Steven's always in character.

I love Al Franken's work, but if you want to see how not to be, watch what happened with Al. He just fell flat. Not funny at all.

I think I'd take whatever Steven gives you and go up even higher. For example, to a ? like whether W is "Great, Greatest," etc... I'd say something like... NO--HE'S GOD LIKE; He's the MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE and TRULY ABOVE THE LAWS OF THIS MERE MORTAL LAND etc...

In any event, answer the ?s quickly and for fun. Take it on his level... Don't fight him--it's his show. Remember at the end of it all, he's going for laughs. Don't be a drag!

MikeS · 3 years ago

Dont play Stephen's game. Stay with your own game which is what you do so well but bring Stephen into it. Make him react to you and not the other way around. He is very smart though he plays the self centered idiot. As he said himself in an interview, "I am a professional idiot". Do not have any expectations of keeping your dignity, just do what you can :)

sheila Z · 3 years ago

Just keep your eye on the goal, come from the heart and remember..... you are there for millions of us... Stand your ground... get your points clear and just keep on the info that the public needs to know.....Come from the heart, be calm and know you stand in the light. stick to the goal...

Neville Johnson · 3 years ago

Robert, you are the preeminent documentary film maker in America. In this great country, we have freedom of speech. Utilizing this freedom, you produced the Walmart movie, and it produced direct results. You brought to the attention of state legislators the scam of the health insurance for Walmart workers. Laws began to be passed to battle this inequity. Walmart in the face of this had to modify its health care polices to be fairer. This was and is democracy in action. This is a really big deal and the template for action in other areas of concern. You and your team personally made the quality of life a whole lot better for tens of thousands.

Likewise, Outfoxed was a landmark documentary: there’s a good reason Bill O’Reilly won’t debate you. He’s afraid to do so. (Read the recent New Yorker article which exposes his demagogic ways.) When was the last time the press was so investigated? This is a major accomplishment.

You shine lights, big bold light, klieg lights into Grand Canyons of darkness and take on major issues. And you have found a way to get the message out. This is remarkable. You are a genius; but you do so in fashion that is entertaining and human; you’re not meanspirited. Just the facts, ma’am.

You wanted to and you did make a difference.

You want the audience to know that truth will out, it is a worthwhile endeavor to do so, and that your mission is to tell the truth.... and there is room enough for anyone out there to similarly play an important role in this important process of communicating with our fellow citizens, and holding accountable those who would otherwise operate with impunity.

Just be yourself: calm, serious, open.

Lee Carleton · 3 years ago

Media reform is the most important activist issue right now because of the issue framing power of corporate media of which power, Colbert's show & Fox are only the most comical examples. The subtle, more civil biases of the big networks are just as problematic.

As an English teacher, I pay close attention to language and rhetorical deployment and this neo-con crowd is frighteningly skillful in sending out slogans and repeating litanies that press emotional buttons without any deep intellectual engagement.

We might call these "rhetorical obfuscation" strategies (or something less snotty!).

While it is true that any rhetorical pitch can legitimately make an emotional appeal according to classical standards, heavy-handed emotional appeal should always be questioned and it seems to me that neo-con rhetoric relies quite heavily on this.

Often this emotional button pushing is a
'red herring' meant to cloud a discussion with strong emotion and thus distract from the key issue.

So, when on Colbert's show if you begin by naming and describing several of the most frequently used rhetorical strategies, they will be exposed beforehand and obvious to viewers when he depoys them.

Another suggestion is to review the history of American dissent beginning with our break from the British Empire - who are the great names? Jefferson, Franklin, Paine, Emerson, Thoreau...and plenty more.
It seemst that if we draw attention to the essential nature of dissent in American politics, the pressure to avoid criticism and merely salute the flag will stand out as being more fascistic than American.

I have also noticed that the right (via its corporate megaphone) has cast the public debate in ways that subtly silence us and encourage us to self-censor so that, if they can't foil us with bullying and emotional litanies they get us to silence ourselves.

Good luck - stay calm and let him set his own trap!

Lori · 3 years ago

Ask him about bears. They freak him out. Specifically ask him about the use of the term "Papa Bear" for O'Reilly. If Colbert really believes bears are a threat to America, isn't he subliminally telling us that O'Reilly/Papa Bear is the also the biggest threat to America? And how about how he prounounces his own name "Col-bear", isn't he telling us that he's also a threat to us?

mickh · 3 years ago

Do what O'Reilly and all the rest on FOXNEWS do.

1. LIE
2. DENY
3. DON'T VERIFY

The nice thing about this plan you can do it in any order.

mickh

Paul in SF · 3 years ago

Dude, just smoke a couple of joints in the Green Room and go with the flow. Don't try to be serious on this show. Have fun. If you haven't done so, for God's sake sit down and watch a few back epidsodes.

chris k. green · 3 years ago

Robert,

You are one of the chosen! Stephen is a hoot! Maybe when he sits down you could do the Wayne's World "we're not worthy"! What might be funny is to misunderstand every question he asks then answer according to that misperception. Kinda like all our fine Republican politicians do. You know a Democratic Senator wants to censure the President and a Republican Senator wonders if Osama faxed him his speech! LOL! Have fun Robert. I'd trade places in a heartbeat! Check out www.omaha4peace.com

Sol Cohen · 3 years ago

1. Why do you hate poor people who shop at WalMart?

2. Why don't you like Australian Billionaires? After all, Bim Gump was one?

3. I'll bet you don't believe in the free market system.

mojab · 3 years ago

play his own game, display a sense of humor, and manage to get your message across. simple? nah.
why not try the Jon-Stewart-on-Crossfire monologue? Attack him head-on about how Colbert is "hurting America", slip comparisons between him and those you take on in your movies. It allows to add humor to your monologue, to wink to Stewart fans, and play along with the Colbert show's and persona's self-importance. Colbert the real person should appreciate the reference and will play along. [You may want to make your reference explicit for those in the audience who might not catch it.]
you may joke at the end that you are working on a movie attacking him. he will ask you to come back and talk about it...

Bradley · 3 years ago

Look at The Bradley Report for facts and background. www.bradleyreport.net.

John Orr · 3 years ago

If you can be funny, be funny back at him. If not, don't even try!! Laugh with him at yourself and come back with a serious point. That will get beneath the humor to the ongoing, good-humored, but serious, purpose.

Matt Delaney · 3 years ago

DO NOT TRY TO BE FUNNY. Just answer simple "yes" and "no"...and let him make all his jokes. You are a straight-man, whether you know it or not, play your part.

Dave · 3 years ago

Make sure they spell your name right in that little box under your face, the rest is just detail.

Tricia from Iowa · 3 years ago

Robert:

This can only help you...first of all, he will probably ask you whether GW is "a great president, or the GREATEST president." Of course you need to answer "None of the above, and I don't need to go back and check my answer." Actually, you could use that line for a lot of things he could ask you. Also, he will ask you when you started taking money from Jack Ambramoff..(sp?).

He'll probably ask you why you are trying to take jobs away from good Americans. Your answer: "I'm fighting for good, decent and fair jobs for good Americans." Throw in the word values..."Doing that is at the heart of American values.." or 'what it means to be an American'....or this zinger..." A decent job is at the core of the American dream...it's why people come to America."

Or what about this...talk about how Walmart is actually taking away the livelihoods of many Americans...and share stories.

He's a hoot, and I agree wholeheartedly that you should compliment him by telling him that he's really good at what he does..

Tricia

CJ · 3 years ago

When Colbert asks if Bush is a great or the greatest President, suggest Stephen not take less than $10 Million to substitute for O'Reilly.

He is worth every penny.

al · 3 years ago

Why do you hate the troops? President Bush, just great or the greatest president ever? You represent Hollywierd don't you? Just some of the q's you can expect.

Marty Roberts · 3 years ago

My TV listings show the Colbert Report at 8:30 AND 11:30 p.m. Is this the same show just repeated? Or is it two different shows? 8:30 is a bit more likely time for folks to be able to watch.

Chris · 3 years ago

If you get the chance you might tease him about "Col-bear" pronunciation by asking him "Col-bear, eh? ANd is it Frawnkenschteen?"

Sam L · 3 years ago

Tell S.C. you took money from Jack Abramoff to fund your movies.

Ed Grood · 3 years ago

Question: Why do you hate America?
Answer: I love America and am proud of her. Does a loving parent (person) ignore a child (friend) who is making a mistake? I am simply trying to help America be better because I care.

Grace · 3 years ago

Tell him your next documentary is going to be an in-depth examination of last year's "War on Christmas" and that it can be purchased at Wal-Mart right next to Bill O'Reilly's divinely inspired Christmas Tree ornament with his show's logo on it, that if O'Reilly can be a war profiteer, so can you.

Then, turn the O'Reilly satire on Colbert and tell him you're going to allow him to have the last word (but, like O'Reilly, don't).

Steve · 3 years ago

Work falafel into the conversation.

Paul · 3 years ago

Wow, good luck! I just saw him rip Al Frankin. I love Stephen's show because I believe firmly that he has taken satire to the extreme and is actually sympathetic to our nation's current plight, but that doesn't stop him from trying to "nail" his guests

Be ready for:

Why do you hate America?
Why do hate our troops?
What do you have against democracy?

and of course:

President Bush, great president or the greatest? I think an appropriate might be:

The greatest (pause for effect)... Ass, the greatest ass.

Good Luck.

Lee Leslie · 3 years ago

Great way to get us talking as everyone (okay, maybe not the Right-eous) loves to help. The secret of the show is parody. Your job is to be a straight man. A straight man's job is to provide the set-up. My wish is for you to find a way to get off Republican talking points (Demos don't have a plan, wimps, boring, Hillary, etc.). It is time to quit the Dean litany. The parody that might work best is to contrast the government representing business and special interest with a government, a democracy if you will, that represents the people.
But since I have this forum, I suggest a couple of other approaches that I feel are important: making election day (wish we had a week to vote) a national holiday so, yes, even poor people could vote.
And what about the idea of a popular election (perhaps too complicated for the show). There's an idea floating around where a constitutional amendment wouldn't be necessary. Where enough state legislatures (51% of electoral votes) could agree to bind their electors to the winner of the popular vote. So we'd get our candidates to speak to the issues of the majority, not just the swing states.
Then there's that idea I wish someone would talk about: A whole new role for government - make government's sole purpose to help each of us be the best tax payer possible (and the test for every law and regulation). That would mean that government would need healthy, long-living taxpayers (preventative single payer healthcare anyone?). Educated taxpayers (a high school graduate is worth $500,000 more than a drop out, why not spend a $100,000 to keep them in school?). Employed tax payers (protecting a union job from being off-shored is worth a could of hundred grand more than the a Wal-Mart employee). Safe taxpayers. Motivated taxpayers. And happy taxpayers. Leave no taxpayer behind.
Good luck to all of us.

John · 3 years ago

Hey there,

It's good to see many people actually get Colbert...to those who take him seriously...wow how could you miss the satire? He is a brilliant satirist, but it is satire folks.
Have fun, blame the bears for everything and be an easy laugher and go with the satire, don't be a wet blanket trying to assert your agenda...let the show work and your agenda is served.

Brett · 3 years ago

I love the Colbert Report! Stephen will ask Robert why Dems have no strategy, why we are wimps, why the nation is more secure with Reps in control- things like that- Colbert is a liberal, but his character portends to be a neocon- it is all tongue and cheek, but can easily fool the casual observer...that's why neocons actually think Colbert is one of them- he's hilarious!

John · 3 years ago

His opening will probably be something like, "So Mr. Greenwald, why do you hate our country?" Don't get defensive; stroke his ego. "I hate America because the citizens don't have the common sense to make you the Supreme Ruler." Keep those two rules in mind.
Don't get defensive.
Stroke his ego.

Tim · 3 years ago

Simple, just say the opposite of what you actually think. Extol the praises of WalMart. Tell how wonderful Bush is, etc. Think of the most outrageous right wing talking points, and make them more outrageous.

Patrick M. · 3 years ago

Robert, As Steve above stated SC will read this blog so you are dead meat. One question I would like you to ask, if you can get one in, is "Since George Bush has said the strategy for getting out of Iraqi is for future presdents shouldn't Bush resign so the country can get on with this important job."

craig · 3 years ago

He will probably ask you "why do you hate Wal Mart when they help poor people afford products which are cheaper there than at other stores. " That's got to be how he will frame at least one question.
Find out info on his past , and intergrate that into your answere. Ask him if anyone is planning a documentary about him, and how he would be a interesting subject.
Massage his ego, a Colbert yes, Wal Mart No , t shirt would be a great gift. Be animated . Refer to him and yourself as being 'great minds.'

Larry Watson · 3 years ago

HAVE FUN!,
It is a comedy show after all.
Have more fun on the show than Colbert and Stewart put together.

Tim Davenport · 3 years ago

Find some Chicago Bears garb and wear it. He might rip ya to shreds, but at least you'll win the debate in Chi-town.

And tell him that HE'S NEXT! Hand him a mockup of a DVD box about bear slaughter and its apologists...

DO TRY TO BE FUNNY. Too many people think the left are a bunch of humorless gimps...

Shep Abbott · 3 years ago

My only advice is to look over his past interviews, especially those guests hewould have considered "friendly" to see 1. If you need to be concerned about his approach to you. 2. Be yourself and be as aggressive as you can about getting your message out, including promoting your work, 3. Follow Thoreau's advice: "Be suspicious of any enterprise that requires a new suit."

Erik Shifflett · 3 years ago

My advice...
Start taking about 240 daily milligrams of Ginko Biloba. Start today! It helps with memory and overall mental acuity.

Hey, if supplements work for star physical athletes, why not for star verbal sparrers representing the voice of reason?

Have fun!

Fiona · 3 years ago

Watch the Al Franken episode -- it's the only time I saw Colbert, who I am proud to call a fellow South Carolinian, a little stumped.

You might also ask him how he feels about his home governor being named one of the worst in the country.

Oh, and I love the idea of taping your ear so that it sticks out!

Jamie · 3 years ago

Just say what you have to say. No matter what you say, he'll do reshot cutaways to make it funnier. He'll fall asleep, he'll snore, he'll make fun of what you say, just say it and smile. If he tries to knock you off your game by asking something that has nothing to do with your topic, just agree, admit it and act like there's nothing wrong with it. Even if he accuses you of doing gay porn formerly. Say "yes, but in my defense, I didn't inhale" He'll love you.

Mark7 · 3 years ago

Talk about loving the American little guy, and wrap around the flag. Whatever he says, respond with:

"remember 9/11". It works every time.

left caost girl · 3 years ago

Since bears are always the number one threat in his threat down, and he refers to Bill O'Reilly as "Papa Bear". He must think that Bill O'Reilly is the biggest of the #1 threat to America. Ask him why?


Posted by: Alan at March 27, 2006 09:10 AM
**********
BRILLIANT...
Thank you Alan, I could not make the connection, you hit the nail on the head

eRobin · 3 years ago

Don't try to be funnier than Stephen. You can't do it anyway and it will only put him off his game.

Go to the show's site via Comedy Central and watch two interviews he seemed to LOVE:

1. the poker champ - she knew how to work with Colbert.

2. Anderson Cooper - who got the joke and let Stephen be Stephen . Cooper ended up looking great.

Basically, I think you can trust him. He's not only funny, he's brilliant. God, and so cute. Tell him I love him.

Bruce · 3 years ago

Funny how many people (in the list above) don't get it ... The Report's a spoof, fer cryin' out loud. One thought: you could play along -- pick an alter ego, just like Colbert does. For instance, you are actually an ultra-right-winger who is only interested in making a buck off of liberal crybabies willing to drop $20 on a low-budget DVD. You don't actually *believe* any of the crap you espouse in your films ... you just gotta pay the rent. Ain't America great? I don't hate America -- where else in the world could I make a living doing this? That sort of thing. However, that tack might undercut a whole bunch of jokes he's already got planned ... who knows?

Anyway -- good luck. I'll DVR it ...

Ken Parker · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

Colbert will ask you why you hate our troops or, if you mention child labor, why you hate children. Perhaps, he will also inquire what it is like to be a Communist. Don't be stuffy or confrontational. . . Just smile (act like you get the joke that he is spoofing Fox) and make your points with grace and humor.

You may want to prepare your comebacks for the "why do you hate" questions in advance. For example, when he asks you why you hate China, you could say, "Are you kidding me, I coudn't live without Mu Shi Chicken" or something to that effect. . .

If he says something that is flat out wrong, just smile and say, "That's an excellent poiint, although not technically correct." Or if he goes way overboard, threaten to call his mom and tell her that Stephen has been fibbing again. Basically, you want to avoid being a self-righteous know-it-all. Just relax and have fun! I know you'll do a great job.

Regards,

Ken Parker

Shannon · 3 years ago

HAVE FUN! And remember that it is comedy show PARODYING right wing pundit blowhards. if you get in the spirit of it and let him riff on you, you'll have a blast. there's no way you're going to "beat" him so don't even try.

Walnut Creek Ken · 3 years ago

Breathe. Remember he's in control and guests who try to outwit, keep up, play his game end up looking bad. Breathe. Have ;1-2 answers that you'll give regardless of his question. Have 1-2 questions for him. Breathe.

Richard · 3 years ago

Hi Bob,

First, this linear message format sucks big time if you are looking for a strategy session. It lacks the ability to develop a thread of continuity and serves simply as wall of noise.

Get back to us when you fix this problem.

steve sullivan · 3 years ago

Remember, Colbert is pretending to be O'Reilly. He will play that to the hilt. He will hit you with "How long have you been a traitor?" and "Have you always hated America?" type questions.

Just roll with the blows and try to turn them back on him. Be playful, don't take him too seriously. Remember, he's doing a persona -- it's an act. Don't take yourself too serieously, either. Be funny, if you can manage it in the presence of a master funnyman.

Arianna Huffington recently handled Colbert so well that his blowhard persona broke down and -- for a few fleeting instants -- we got to see the real Colbert beneath.

Find the video of her interview and be like her.

Or get her to do it for you.

okharpman · 3 years ago

Tell him you can't find the url on WalMart's web page to donate for hungry kids at public schools. The commercial runs on CNN, showing three kids with lunches, chipping in to a kid that came to school without lunch. All public schools have "free and reduced lunches," so the commercial is a big lie. There are no kids in public school that leaves the table at breakfast or lunch, hungary. Ask him if he has donated to the WalMart "Feed the public school children." Ask him if he can find the "feed the hungary bears" aisle, at your favorite WalMart.

rocknation · 3 years ago

Colbert plays an O'Reilly-esque character on his show, but he does so precisesly to expose the foibles of O'Reilly-esque characters. As such, he will no doubt "attack" your track record of attacking right wing institutions such as Fox News and Wal-mart, so you should be prepared to "defend" your work by sticking to the facts, because that's the one thing that right-wing pundits can't defend themselves from. Colbert really is on your side--he just doesn't present himself that way!

Daniel Devine · 3 years ago

If you talk about our illegal and immoral occupation of Iraq, keep the frame "occupation." When the Bush administration lied to congress and the American people, a proper analysis could not made. Not all senators and congressmen saw the same cherry picked and/or fabricated Intel. It's about imperialism, everything thing else, energy, global corporate domination, war profiteering, Iran, Syria, China et al; falls under the imperialism headline. And remember that the Bush administration is the most secretive administration in the history of our country. Almost everything is classified and/or hidden from oversight.

You go for it dude!

Chris · 3 years ago

Try to find something nice to say about Bill "Papa Bear" O'Reilly, Colbert's protoge.

Compliment Stephen's French pronounciation of his name, raising awareness of "Frenchiness" embedded in our culture.

Work in a plug for "Outfoxed," since lots of people who appreciate "The Colbert Report" still haven't seen the documentary. Pretend that it's pro-Fox!

John Patterson · 3 years ago

If you think you can figure ahead of time what Mr. Colbear is scheming, you should go into the psychic business...

He's milfed his way to shoddy stardom at the expense of our comedic dignity, so I say beware his pernicious influence, beneath that elfish exterior lies the black heart of a book-cooking CEO.

Just don't let him touch you...

JEP

Ace Starry · 3 years ago

When he fires off the first question, no matter what it is, respond with this in a completely serious tone.

"That my good man is a fantastic question, ..wow! I've been asked many questions by those so-called journalists trying to get to the heart of the matter, but you my fine fellow are a true professional, a journalist among journalists and that is the very 'to-the-heart-of-the-matter-getting question' that I would expect from a truely objective journalistic giant such as yourself. A question like that would put Edward R. Murrow to shame. Walter Croncrite has nothing on you. I can't even image Katie Couric asking that, can you? I feel as if I'm in the presence of true objective journalistic greatness. By the way, great looking tie...next question."

That should get you off to the proper start.

Richie · 3 years ago

Get ready for this; Why shouldn't American consumers be allowed to save a buck if they need to? Those mom and pop stores didn't care about us when they had the run of the samll towns. I bought my DVD player to watch your films at Walmart.

jerry szoka · 3 years ago

If WIlliam Shatner can put out an album and go where this man has not gone before, then you have nothing to fear! Shoot for the stars !

Nancy · 3 years ago

I'd like to hear him ask "Why are other networks like MSNBC so afraid of O'Reilly that some of their left-wing linguini spined liberals like Keith Olbermann attacking him every single night?"

I've always been an Olbermann fan, but now I make sure I listen EVERY night for the "Worst Person in the World" honors.

Hopefully, you will get the chance to bring up O'Reilly's "Attack of the Fox Police" to anyone who mentions Olbermann's name.

Judy Taber · 3 years ago

My advice is for you to go to http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_...
and review how Al Franken played on Colbert. It was hilarious - he acted like Colbert was really a Bill O'Reilley character and he debated him just as though Colbert were serious. I suggest you do the same.

Kirk Moore · 3 years ago

When Stephen says to you, "That movie, Xanadu, was absolutley horrible. What in the world were you thinking? DId you look at the movie and say, "This is a great film!"?

Answer back to him, "What were you thinking when you agreed to be in Bewitched? That movie was worse than Xanadu!

Kristy · 3 years ago

First -- take a deep breath. You will not outwit or get around Stephan Colbert. Just remember he has his tongue firmly in his cheek If you want to crack him up (and the audience) preface ALL responses with: "Your'e RIGHT, there ARE some people in this country that believe______ " (whatever) ie -- that we should have nothing against the Chinese, and ALL of our clothes should be made there because they have such a long history as tailors and railroad builders and such. By doing it that way you are mirroring his sarcasim and satire, and pointing out the bigotry and hyprocracy Stephan is exposing so well. One question that I have seen him "ruin" people over is: Is George Bush a great president or the GREATEST President.? Most people want to run for cover or say no. He won't let you off the hook. The way to respond is : George Bush is the Greatest President this country has ever had because he has _________ (insert whatever you want) ie. Lead us like sheep to a fiscal slaughter by spending 4 BILLION Dollars on the invasion of Iraq then convincing us we are UNPATRIOTIC for challenging his decisions.

Jeanne · 3 years ago

There is an old Chinese proverb: When rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it.

Keep a smile on your face, don't lose your cool and take three deep breaths before responding to any of his questions.

He is a gentlemen and you will come out unscathed.

Relax and enjoy it!

faveuncle · 3 years ago

Here's the question for Steven - ask him the following - "Steven, I want a straight yes or no answer, none of your usual equivocating - have you ever tasted a falafel sweeter than Bill O'Reilly's?"

Be ready to call him a liar if he says he never tasted O'Reilly's felafel. Hopefully, he'll be honest and admit to it.

William R · 3 years ago

Bring a small teddy bear, dressed in an American flag shirt holding an American flag. Keep it in your pocket and if you feel trapped, pull in out and ask "Stephen, why do you hate American bears?"

Seriously, as other have pointed out and as you surely realize, he is sympathetic to your cause and is just playing a right-wing news guy.

So just imagine the most outrageous parody of O'Reilly and have some short answer to "Richard, why do you hate corporations like Wal-Mart that employee so many people and still make sure their wages are low enough that they still qualify for government assistance?"

Just remember, Stephen, the studio audience and most of the viewers are on your side. (You might also tell him your name is pronounced Green-Wall. The "d" is silent.)

mark picone · 3 years ago

Do what Trump did to Larry King. Start off by telling him his breath stinks!

Roz · 3 years ago

The best advice I can offer is to watch a replay of Keith Olberman's appearance on 'Report'. Keith held his own and even managed 2 fire back at Colbert a couple of times. I think he also threw in a grizzly bear line as Colbert blames all the world's ills on grizzly bears. Olberman had Colbert breaking character which had both of them laughing. Olberman was obviously enjoying himself as was Colbert...I even got the feeling that a couple of the 'question's' had been outlined in advance....I'll ask this...oh, OK, then I'll come back w/ something like this....

Olberman was a great guest to Colbert's o'lielly channeling. Watch it and take notes.

Mike Smith · 3 years ago

Sometimes cliches are effective. Bone up on them. In this age of "sound bytes" it may prove valuable. Long involved explinations will not be the forum needed to get your message heard in this format. quick retorts is your defense. Good luck.

Chris Dobbs · 3 years ago

Stay anchored in the status of the current results of the capitalistic system of our country and the western world. The status quo is horribly oppressive and lopsided, there is no equal opportunity, money begats money, and unemployment and poverty levels are severe, here and around the world.
the shroud of details that are used for argumentation only create noise and clutter and logical obfuscation that misdirects attention away from the result of resource controlled leverage for profit.
It doesn't matter what someone says if the end result is harmful for mankind and is provable. The preponderance of evidence supports this world view, and those in power do everything they can not to address these issues. They address the logical argumentative noise.
Good luck!!
CD

Leslie Cummings · 3 years ago

First off, allow me to give my congratulations at being chosen as a guest on this show. How to prep you for Stephen. Well, the first bit of advice I can offer is just... know your stuff, front and back. He respects individual's wealths of knowledge. Poke fun at him; it's so boring to see starchy guests talking nothing but shop, so throw in a curveball. Talk about how you long to spend a month out in nature, communicating with the bears. Perhaps drop something about Bill O'Reilly being your personal savior or something. That's sure to spin his head a bit. Stroke his ego, (insert wonky eyed smiley face here) because Stephen is a damn good lookin' man. Hey... you can even say that to him! Use it to your advantage. (Insert another smiley here winking at you lewdly)

It might also be beneficial to refer to him as a great mind, and yourself as well. Other than that, the Colbert Report is simply a fun show. Be relaxed and honest and not only will America take a liking to what you're saying, so will Stephen.

Then again, there's a distinct possibility that Stephen will actually read this blog, in which case... you know, maybe just light yourself on fire. This is simply more fodder... for, you know... him getting down to his 'truthiness.'

One last thing, it's positively fantastic that this is your son's favorite show. That's just awesome.

Good luck!

~Leslie Cummings, Boston, MA

Lance Webster · 3 years ago

As a media trainer, I suggest the following four steps:
1) Figure out 3 - 5 simple, well worded message points YOU want to get across...about your work, your next film, your goals, your motivation, the President and the War, whatever! Or have a couple of message points ready on each topic.
2) Don't worry about what he asks you. If you feel like answering, fine. Do so. If you don't, Block his question(s) and go to one of your message points (a related one, if possible.)
3) As you (and your supporters on this blog) supply you with troublesome questions, worry less about answers and more about how you can go from that unwanted questions to your prepared answer. (In other words, be just like a politician.) You can be obvioius about it. Say things such as:
"I'm glad you asked me that. It reminds me that I wanted to mention.....etc."
or
"You know, Steve, that question is really not relevant . What IS relevant is that I am .....etc."
or
"The fact that you asked me that [no matter what he asks you] tells me that what you are really interested in is my next film, which is....etc."
or
"I think you asked me that quesion [no matter what the question] as a way of getting to WHY I really did......etc., ... so let me explain my motivation to you."
or
"Thats a VERY interesting questions, Stephen.
4) Keep your sense of humor throughout, and a twinkle in your eye and your smile. Know that you will be annoying Colbert and amusing the audience. Which, in the long run, will please Colbert.
5) Practice this technique, and practice coming up with effective blocks of his questions and bridges to your message points.

In short, you will be satirizing the interview process, and the government officials you use this technique. The key is to know your own message points and stick to them no matter what....just like President Bush does. When asked about why we went into Iraq, he carefully and patiently explains over and over again why we went into Afghanistan.
EXAMPLE: "Why do you hate Capitalism? (or America?)" ANSWER: "I'm really glad you asked me that question. It gives me the chance to remind people about my (last)(next) movie, which is.....etc."
or: ANSWER: "Thanks for asking me that,
Stephen. It gives me the chance to remind people about Wallmart and what its doing to the REAL America...etc."
FORGET ANSWERING HIS QUESTIONS. JUST GIVE YOURSELF AN INNOCUOUS LITTLE BRIDGE TO WHAT YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT. YOU KEEP CONTROL.

Julie · 3 years ago

When he introduces you and then runs and bows to the audience, maybe you should get up and run over there with him. No one has ever done that. It would be brilliant and memorable!

You'll do fine!! Remember, his character is a parody, so he's no adversary -- I'm sure he loves your work and that's why you're invited. Stephen won't debate you, if he acts like O'Reilly it's because he's acting -- so you should just be yourself and say all the things you wish you could say to O'Reilly's face. Don't use Colbert Show jokes (greatest president, etc), because that's weak and will never come across as well as when he does them. With the exception of a possible mention of bears in general.

It's a game and you'll play it brilliantly! They need you! Just be yourself, you'll do great. I'm looking forward to it!

Tom Bisson · 3 years ago

If you laugh at SC's satire (even though he delivers his lines very serioiusly), then no one will take his jabs seriously. He wants people to act defensive as that sets him up better.

Jenso · 3 years ago

He's going to ask you who the hell you think you are. He's going to ask you "Why do you hate America?" But remember that he's on your side, he isn't asking you onto his show to riducule you. Have some funny answers prepared. He appreciates sharp wit. Turn a question back on him, like "Well, why do you love George Bush?"

Rick D from Atlanta · 3 years ago

Love that show! For those in the know, its all uproariously funny tongue in cheek. For the clueless, it can only be seen as dead serious, an on-target diatribe. Look around the room. The ones not cracking up laughing are probably Republicans.

Whatever you say, frame it in terms of a patriotic appeal. Even if its a fake patriotic appeal. If you are getting assailed for attacks on the Rupert Murdoch, it because Fox is not owned by an American. If you are attacking morons like Dick Cheney, its because all great American leaders historically have had a boot up their ass. You might even suggest that the President's brother Jeb might want to run for the top post with Katharine Harris as a running mate. After all, what's more American that an over-the-top boob job and Bush. And of course, if things get ugly, you can always inquire if the stories are true. Is Steven Cobert is still sleeping with Jack Abramoff?Have fun.

Jeb · 3 years ago

Tell him you are dissapointed that he refused to be interviewed for "Outfoxed". Tell him about your investigation into the production of his show and about all the staff that has been fired for not agreeing with his opinions.

randal · 3 years ago

I would disagree with the comment about laughing heartily at his jokes. The main problem with many of Colbert's guests is that they spend the entire interview laughing and never get to get their points across. The best guest I have seen so far was Dershowitz, who was able to joke right back.

You need a really good comback for the question, "Why do you hate America?" other than simply laughing and denying that you do. It might be best to answer his questions with questions, like "Why do you hate the facts?"

Obviously his main interest is in keeping it funny, so prepare some good quips and above all avoid the rabbit in the headlights look that he tries to get from unprepared interviewees.

cul · 3 years ago

walk to the edge of the cliff and throw your chickens in the air then don't think, just dance

Coal Bear is a great guy, relax and have fun...he's really on your side anyway

Colby Chester · 3 years ago

I find the Colbert Report extremely tedious and sophomoric. I think he was hilarious as a reporter on the Daily Show, now extremely irritating on his own show, parody of O'reilly or not. My advice is, listen to him and say nothing of any substance until you sense a break in the rythym. Then hit him with this question-- "Stephen, if you have any role to play in the upcoming elections, what is it and what do you see as your greatest contribution to re-alignment of Democracy in America?"

BiNetUSAWendy · 3 years ago

It's a satire. So long as you go with the joke, you'll do fine. The ones who do the worst (ex/Barney Frank), don't seem to get the joke and appear ruffled. Whereas, folks who run with it (ex.Al Franken) do quite well

He's apt to ask:
* Did fox refuse to give you a job/did an editor at Fox break your heart?
* What do you have against papa bear (Bill O'Reilly)?

And his standard questions:
* George Bush: good president or the greatest president?
* Why do you hate our troops?

Jeanne · 3 years ago

Decide on a few (just three or four) major points that YOU want to get across, then respond to questions and comments in a spirit of goodwill--what does it matter as long as you make the points that you need to make. When something is thrown at you that is totally off-the-wall-stupid, remember to smile and use that magical comeback that all good teachers use: "Ah, that's an interesting idea..." Then make YOUR point.
Good luck!

Anne Sullivan · 3 years ago

Katrina vanden Heuvel was on in early winter to promote her book Dictionary of Republicanisms and did a great job. The first question from Colbert was basically a challenge to Katrina to prove she wasn't "an east coast, leftie, intellectual snob" or something along those lines. Her retort was that she had just been in Tennessee, her husband's home state, and had eaten BBQ. Now I don't suggest pointing out that you eat meat to try and prove to Colbert that you're so mainsteam that you're bordering on redneck. But you can see the angle Katrina took. Be ready with a funny anecdote that'll disarm him. It's best to roll with what he throws at you and be as loose and entertaining as possbile while working to get your message across.

faveuncle · 3 years ago

Call him felafel-breath, in homage to his hero.

Matt · 3 years ago

Whatever happens to you it cannot be nearly as disastrous as Michael “This wasn’t ENTIRELY my fault” Brown.

Dan Lesh · 3 years ago

just be prepared to answer:

"Why do you hate America?"

Steve · 3 years ago

No matter how denigrating the comment or question, your comment should exaggerate it, and be even more self deprecating than Colbert's.

That is the only way to look good.

Arlen · 3 years ago

He'll undoubtedly ask

"So, exactly why do you HATE AMERICA?"

The least embarrassing answer is to admit it, and move on to the next question.

Andy · 3 years ago

Be prepared to answer him this, in a funny way:

How can you deny a dollar-ninety seven jar of pickles? That's a years worth of pickles for $1.97.

J. Bull · 3 years ago

If you want to win him over and play into the joke, posit that your views are anti-bear and that those who disagree with you are secretly working with bears. Make up something that sounds like a great big bear conspiracy...

Roll with it and know he is probably aware of your blog and has people reading it...

Jeff Sherman · 3 years ago

I have one bit of advice Steve - BE PROUD of your Liberalism and DO NOT play into their "frames". . .don't answer directly any attacks predicated on ridiculous NeoCon fear-motivated constructs like "Tax Relief". These frames they have worked into our general discourse are totally erroneous. Taxes need to be reframed as the more honest societal concept "Tax INVESTMENTS"

How the hell do the self-serving NeoCon think that the infrastructure for instance of this country is going to be maintained?

Oh yeah. . thats right. . they DON'T. One look at the devastating cuts they've made to the Parks on our country

William Schenken · 3 years ago

My advice for the Colbert Report: answer in the most biased and innocent way possible. Have fun! When people take it too serious then they look like they have something to hide. He is going to embarass you. Might as well enjoy it. Just be yourself - it will be more endearing that way.
The work you do is very serious - the show is not. Don't confuse the two. It is not like you are going on... wait I can't think of a respectable news program. But if there was one - Democracy Now is - then you wouldn't need to worry about it because the journalist would ask responsible questions.

So drink a few Martini's before filming and have fun.

DJ Rizzo · 3 years ago

I think you only have one word to fear: "Xanadu".

ThoughtCriminal · 3 years ago

Remember - Stephen hates bears.

If it comes up, ask him how he feels about "Smokey".

Romac · 3 years ago

Others have already accurately characterized the Colbert Report. So stay loose, go with the flow and have fun. Colbert will make sure that you do. You might open by saying: "Many people think I dislike the President. That is not true. I feel sorry for him. The job was 20 feet over his head when he walked in and he still hasn't found the surface."

Or "Every other country in the world has a president; why shouldn't we? America is leaderless."

baby metropolis · 3 years ago

I was just watching clips from this show on the Comedy Central site this weekend. Miss Manners came off wonderfully. He asked her about what period of time we should go back to when people had manners and she responded that she wasn't aware of any time in the past that was better.

The main tips I would give are relax, be funny, and turn his questions on their head in order to get across the points you want to address.

Katie Pearlman · 3 years ago

Don't you think the man is really in your corner? So just listen to what he has to say and answer honestly and with lots of humor. I don't know your personality, of course, but you are most certainly not a 'shrinking violet" so take it all lightly and you will get your point across as you do so well in your movies. Good Luck, I'll be watching! ALL THE BEST, Katie in Canada

Alice B. · 3 years ago

Frank McCourt. Watch the show where he interviewed Frank McCourt. The man undid Colbert, broke his persona. And Colbert loved it. As did this viewer. Good luck.

P.S. ~ Don't forget to "be funny and cool." It's that easy.

Ann Cardwell · 3 years ago

Just relax and try to get as much humor into your comments and responses as possible. For my money, this is NOT serious interview, so don't treat it that way.

rnl · 3 years ago

speak in messianic religious & evangelical terms

you are on the side of the little guy and quickly disappearing middle class

think of yourself as an itinerant minor prophet

you will be appreciated

Victor Miller · 3 years ago

Tell him you're really sorry for all the bad things you've said about corporate America and are now ready to invite embarrassingly large gifts from lobbyists because you are sick and tired of being poor.

Amanda B. · 3 years ago

Just remember...this is a Comedy Central Show. It is supposed to be funny. Try to play off of Colbert's jokes and don't get too stuffy or self-righteous because it will not go over well with the audience or Colbert. Have fun with this. Colbert's show makes fun of the Bush admin. and takes them to task in ways in which others only dream of. Remember, he is on "your side" and any possible "tricks" he might try are only spoofs and mockery of broadcast journalism. Plus, you can probably request from his staff possible questions or show topics if you are not sure what the topic of discussion is going to be for that segment. One more thing, hopefully you have been watching the show religiously yourself to get a better idea of what it is all about. Good luck to you.

Octoberdan · 3 years ago

I've been following the show since it started and I've come to the conclusion that there is no way in hell he's actually a conservative. The show is just a satire... 30 minutes of sarcasm. If you pay close enough attention he occasionally makes very liberal statements.

Advice:
* Anticipate rediculess and loaded questions.
Example: "King George, great king, or greatest
king?"

* Don't go in there representing a single political party. Go in there representing the greater good of Amarica.

* Stay away from party specific points or attacks. If you argue conceptually, no one can dissagree with you.

* Watch the show and study the interviews! Put yourself in the shoes of the person being interviewed and make up answers for them. Look for paterns!

* Having the last word isn't always important. Give him the rope and he'll hang himself.

* Numbers, satistics, and other raw data!

* If he says somthing rediculess then emphisise the rediculessness of what he just said by repeating it while retorting. For example: Him: "cows are blue" You: "Well, if you honestly beleive cows are blue, [yada yada yada] " or "Perhaps if you ignore the fact that %99 of cows aren't, that might make sense"

* Watch your blood sugur and get some sleep the night before.

* Remember the fact that he mimics the style of Bill O'reily... prepare for that!

* For the next few days stay healthy. Exercise and eat right... I'm serious! Listen to recordings of interviews while you run each morning.

I hope this post offers some sort of help... See you Thursday!

Good luck!

Nancy DiTomaso · 3 years ago

Having watched Arianna Huffington on a recent segment of The Colbert Report, I was struck again how difficult it is within this sort of format to say meaningful things and get the word out that is most important. I think that the best strategy is to take lessons from the Bush administration operatives: (a) no matter what the question, give the answer that you want to get out, (b) never allow yourself to be trapped by a "have you stopped beating your wife" question, just go back to your main point, and (c) don't get lost in nuance, just repeat the main point and let the details come out in another forum.

Cyd · 3 years ago

Love Colbert. Love the Colbert Report. Hate his interviews. He has the most fascinating people on and doesn't let them talk! It's all about HIM! He has MOST of the show to do his schtick - but when you invite a guest on, for the love of Pete LET THEM SPEAK.

Anyhoo ~ good luck and I'll be watching!

Erika · 3 years ago

Maybe your BNF team could prepare some "aside" cards like what Colbert flashes while speaking. This would give you a prop for when you are inevitably left fumbling for a response, something to buy a modicum of time. It would also provide a subtle avenue for introducing your most salient points to an otherwise distracted audience, and would pay tribute to Colbert by mimicing his method.

Catherine · 3 years ago

Of the Colbert interviews I've seen, Linda Wertheimer came off best. She smiled but didn't let herself get sandbagged into giggling.

There's a lot of good advice already here. One comeback that someone (a male) made to Jon Stewart might be a fallback, so to speak: "You've got a hard-on!" but that would be strictly from hunger.

If he asks, "What have you got against America?" you can always answer, "What have you got against Karl Rove (or Dick Cheney, etc)?"

Steve Thompson · 3 years ago

I've arranged tv interviews for many people, and my advice is always the same: Do your homework, anticipate the questions, develop your answers well in advance, and always remember why you are there. While the lights are on and the cameras are rolling, it may seem like a long time to you, but in fact it is only one brief moment in time. It will be very tempting to be seduced by the attention and the appearance, but if you stay calm, and remember why you are there, you will look back on the experience as a positive one. Good Luck!

Ken · 3 years ago

Just ask him "What good is freedom if no one uses it."

Or if he says "why do you hate America?" you can respond with "What I really hate is people who are all for freedom but don't want you to use it."

Or "I hate the administration because I love freedom."

Fred · 3 years ago

When he asks a stupid question just say, "That's a stupid questions that no one in his right mind would ask!" When he repeats it, raise your eyebrows then quickly follow with "What people in this country really want to know is ..." OR just look around and say, "Oh, did you say something, I was thinking about ..." and go on to your own thought. Remember, you're the expert ... you know what questions are worth answering. Those who feel obligated to answer every question get in trouble. Play with him (in a puritanical sense). Have fun!

kathy from pa · 3 years ago

just be calm no matter what he says and take your time with answering matter of factly and sincerly ...if all else fails imagine him in his underwear...relax i am sure you will be fine..K

Atomicwoman · 3 years ago

Robert,

Big fan---- mean it. That said.....

ARE YOU FREAKIN CRAZY! His staff is reading this blog RIGHT NOW! You are DOOMED.

THAT SAID...
I Luv the Colbert Report, I'll be watching, try to have fun!

Sylvia · 3 years ago

Keep it cool and be yourself. If you're quick on the draw and you can get some good lines, go for it. If you can't get in any smart, funny insults, you might also try complimenting him in an over-the-top way, especially on his appearance. (Heck, hit on him a little if the moment seems right.)

But even if all you can do is take his questions at face value and try to answer them straight, it'll still be funny, because while "Stephen Colbert" is out to nail you, Stephen Colbert the actual person wants to cooperate, work with whatever you've got, have fun and give the audience a good time.

He's a consummate performer and he's invited you on the show because he wants people to hear what you have to say. You're in good hands. Have fun!

The Profit · 3 years ago

I think everyone has forgotten that GW has screwed up from day one

Have Mr. Colbert read the “bin Laden determine to Strike in US” brief (available at: http://www.accc-chiro.com/CIA%20brief.pdf and take the:
What did Bush know quiz!
(Available at: http://www.essex1.com/people/cates/Bush.htm )
Q: As president, you receive any one the preceding warnings.
What should a president do when informed of impending hijackings?
A. Inform congress and ask for assistance in thwarting the hijackings.
B. Order armed air marshals placed on every plane in the U.S.
C. Inform the public and issue a general hijackings alert to the country to watch for and report anything suspicious.
D. Distribute pictures of known al-Qaeda operatives to all ticket counters, airports and travel agencies throughout the U.S.
E. Order increased airport security and screening of passengers and increased security at flight schools throughout the country.
F. Have weekly terrorist threat meetings like President Clinton.
G. Go on vacation & talk to cows.

David Lopez · 3 years ago

I have not see the show you mentioned, but a question that may come up is how come the anti-Wal-Mart movement is so big in merchandizing? At times it looks like a big effort to sell merchandize and nothing else.

Al · 3 years ago

You know Colbert is doing satire. Let him do it. Watch the interview with Michael Moore, he was a total flop. Don't do what he did...

comments by Kindmtnmama, Bill Prady, Martha Whitehouse, Markowitz and John Orr look right
on to me.

Nick Hoffman · 3 years ago

I can offer no advice. Consider yourself defeated.

Dave K · 3 years ago

be self deprecating, but make sure on each chance you get to speak to get at least one good sound bite snide satirical joke in about rove & Ayres (propagandists), monopolies like Wal-Mart etc. make sure to tie all republicans to the criminal behavior. we have congressional elections coming! “fair to republicans and balanced wayyyy to the right.” Is something I always wanted to hear.

What I suggest is that you choose one characterization and stick with that for the entire interview. Just come at it in different directions. Tell the rove/bug story for example. Hone that joke down to 10 seconds maybe even 5. Practice telling it. Practice each word. Practice all the inflections. Keep cutting it till its razor sharp.

Then, If Colbert gets a printout of this page, for example, tell him Carl rove planted it, like that bug he planted in his own office. Build on your 10 second joke with new and funny concentric back-story additions that make the joke more organic, richer, even funnier and more ironic.

if it looks like something you said is completely going flat, remember Johnny Carson’s technique. Just make a very understated grin to make sure everybody knows you're not completely serious anyway. You can always throw in another “oh carl rove gave me that joke. I guess he wanted it to backfire.”

But don’t just land your criticism onto rove, because he will be ejected from the scene in the upcoming election. Tie him into people who will be around longer and who would make good scapegoats for criticism of these criminals.

If you insist on talking about Wal-mart the entire time, that’s okay there are plenty of Wal-mart jokes too.

Mary · 3 years ago

The people who looked the worst were the ones that were too serious and took offfense. Laugh if he scores off you. Barney Frank was one of the worst even though I totally agree with him.

Uncle · 3 years ago

Remember what Colbert always looks for: "truthiness." Way back when, the word to the wise was "plastics." Now it's truthiness. If you've got enough of it you'll do just fine. Why, if you can smother him in truthiness you might even be invited back again. What higher honor could there be? Truthiness, more truthiness, followed by even more, yes, TRUTHINESS !!

Fountain · 3 years ago

Possible answers to questions:

Q. George W. Bush: great president or the greatest president?

A. That's a difficult question to answer, but I think I feel comfortable in saying that the Bush adminstration will not soon be forgotten, no matter how hard we may try.

Q. Why do you hate Wal-Mart (or something like that)

A. I don't hate everyday low prices, but I do have a problem with everyday low wages. I think shoppers are willing to pay a quarter more for a gallon of pickles if it means the workers can have healthcare.

Q. If he asks about Iraq

A. In light of all the corruption we've been seeing in the press with the Abramoff scandal and our record deficits, I feel strongly that before we start exporting democracy we should make sure its actually working properly first.

Q. If he asks about Fox News or Bill O'Reilly.

A. I tried to contact Bill O'Reilly to get an interview but he wouldn't meet with us, perhaps you can talk to him and put in a good word for me.

Gregory Kruse · 3 years ago

Just be yourself and have fun. If you try to get your agenda across, he will nail you.

Matt · 3 years ago

There is no way you are going to read all of these comments!

So I'll make this short and sweet.

Stephen will use one / both of the following arguments:

1) Isn't the invisible hand of the market divine? Why should mere mortals like you mess with it?

2) Aren't you just an arrogant Northeast liberal intellectual - more in touch with the French era of political realism than with everday people, like George Bush, who swill Coors Light at the corner pub?

Your defense? Ask questions right back at him... he is more than willing to answer and reveal how silly the arguments are in the first place. Sample responses could be:

By the way - don't listen to the people saying that you just need to compliment him on his appearance... I have watched him since day 1 - it doesn't always work. What works is to stay humble and be yourself.

Scott · 3 years ago

He's a tough interviewer, that's for sure. Be prepared for him to take the side of the corporations (Wal-Mart) and of the right wing (everyone else you've documented) - but hold your ground. Laugh it off when appropriate but make sure to point out that you're only trying to raise awareness and nothing in your films has been unsubstantiated. The American public is fed all kinds of slanted, right-wing propaganda through TV news shows (Colbert could even be included), so how could you taking the opposite slant be considered wrong? I saw him (Colbert) rip up Steve Kroft for attacking Haliburton and other highly-profiting defense contract-holders on their program, and the 60-minutes anchor couldn't hold his ground. Stay light if he doesn't dig too deep, but come back firing and hold your ground when he attacks. That's the best advice I can give. Never lose sight of what your goal in docufilmmaking is - no matter how tough and pointed his questions are.

Briane · 3 years ago

I don't have a television so I have not a clue who Colbert is....I live in a '69 Crown Bus conversion on a beach in Mexico. Tell him to try no tv...only Air America on XM and the Internet and a long morning walk on the beach...and see if he doesn't realize there is a whole nother world out there to enjoy.

Bill Pryor · 3 years ago

At the end of every one of his questions, ask back:
"Why do you hate Republicans?"
Next time, ask, "So you're admitting you hate Republicans?"
And then, "You really do hate Republicans, don't you?"
Etc.
Should be good for a few laughs.
Congrats on being on the show! And, keep up your fantastic good work. You're an inspiration to filmmakers and rational people everywhere.

Linda · 3 years ago

Stephen Colbert really is on our 'side'. He will tease you, but he is basically allowing you to present your views, briefly, by arguing with a fake conservative. Try to be light-hearted, witty, intelligent, and remember that it is all about comedy. Keep your answers to the point, you know he always interrupts his guests. You'll be fine. You only have maybe 10 minutes up there with him!

Ronald · 3 years ago

Stephen Colbert will never allow facts to interfere with his prejudices, which are expressed so as to be humorous while nevertheless ensuring his point of view as the only way to see things. So, my advice is try not to "win" points with Colbert but rather stick to verifiable information and avoid opinions and heresay, regardless of source. The best preparation is to being able to cite facts and let Colbert try to deny them.

Mindy · 3 years ago

Bring him a gift basket of Walmart merchandise or a gift card.
Interrupt him and ask him if he knows the Walmart cheer. Ask him if he knows the map coordinates of Bentonville. Tell him your goal is to protect Walmart from having to pay for universal health care for their illegal employees.

Sean · 3 years ago

Play his game. That's what Al Franken did, and it was one of the best interviews all year. He's going to throw some ridiculous questions at you. He asked Franken "Why do you hate our troops?" numerous times (in different ways), and Franken was ready with a quick answer the first time, said "I already answered that" the second time and was not given a chance to answer the third time. Colbert is not looking to "beat" you, as he shares your values. Stephen Colbert the character will pounce on you, but he is not truly trying to make you look stupid. His questions like "Why do you hate capitalism?" (I think he'll ask something like this. Be prepared.) are absurd and meant to be so. Answer him straight, be able to laugh at yourself, and you will come out looking intelligent and likeable. He will mock-defend O'Reilly and Co. to no end, but he will give you opportunities to bash on them without saying much in their defense. "What do you have against Papa Bear (his nickname for Bill O'Reilly)?" will surely be asked. Answer it straight, laugh a little, stick to the facts, recognize that he is purposely being ridiculous and you will come out on top.

Bonnie Eisenberg · 3 years ago

Laught at his jokes and his off the wall questions, but remember you do not have to answer them. Return to your point instead, but always be witty and brief, as he will cut you off. If he asks "is Bush a great president or the greatest president," respond as my father used to about Nixon, 'Yes, he is the best president money can buy."
good luck!

TheDonald · 3 years ago

Watch the "word of the day" segment and incorporate one of its jokes into one of your answers. It would get the crowd and maybe even Colbert laughing.

Virginia · 3 years ago

Mention he was excellent on Law & Order - why'd he give up acting?

Kevin T. · 3 years ago

Colbert? Isn't that French? Why do YOU hate America?

I'd love to have a beer with George W. Bush.
It will help to console him after the elections this year.

My opinion of George W. Bush? A weak leader has to "act" tough. That's why we're in Iraq.

Ryan Bean · 3 years ago

Say you have been watching his show and have pulled a complete 180. Say things like "My position has changed... Wal-Mart is trying to give every American an employee discount... Mexicans are taking away all of the fruit picking, hotel cleaning, meat packing jobs that 'Real' Americans want to get paid menial wages for… and rich people are protecting money from the poor people who say they need it to ‘live’." I think if you follow this approach you will be able to say everything you want to and the absurdity of the 'Truthyness' will be apparent.

oscar f. · 3 years ago

I would not be surprised if Mr. Colbert pulls out a big mac, starts eating it, and asks, Mr. Greenwald, why do you demonize the fine working-class Americans who work at fast food restaurants across the US?

Steve Barclay · 3 years ago

I watch Steven's Reporrrrr regularly. The most likely question you're going to get is, "What do you have against free enterprise?"

The biggest problem with the interviews on his show is that there's so little time for a guest to respond. You want to make your response short, susinct, and preferrably funny and a bit "over the top."

Looking forward to seeing you!
Steve

TJ · 3 years ago

Robert, you can only do so much. My advice is to watch the Al Franken episode and try to do exactly what he did only topical for you. Stephen will try his brand of "truthiness", but you also have yours. Laugh where appropriate, hang your head in shame when plausible and speak quickly in between his satirical rantings.

He is a master and this will teach you.

Stuart Kushner · 3 years ago

Maybe you could try the unique approach of agreeing with his crazy, exaggerated right-wing positions. He is going to attack you as a socialist and anti-big business. Maybe you can go even farther right and thank him for helping you see the light. Make your points and let him mock you. Give in. Then make a 2nd point... give in.... repeat as necessary.

Good luck, fool. :)~

Gus Linton · 3 years ago

Don't "try" anythig. Be yourself. The interview will only flop if you present a false front. Let him be funny, but don't try to pander to him, unless you want to take him a gift of tube socks from WalMart.
I don't envy you. Even Franken was at a loss for words last week.
Just go with the flow. Enjoy, and most of all remember that whatever you say or do, just being on the show will give you a boost no mater how you come off-- especially with your son.

Timothy · 3 years ago

Be ready for him to call you a coward. Also, if he asks you if george bush is a great president or the best president ever be prepared to say "worst".

Would be hilarious if you were in the crowd high-fiving the audience when he comes over from the desk.

Ken C. · 3 years ago

Present all your stats in terms of bears. Work bears into every example. Quick, learn some things about bears that he does not know. Find out what science is learning from unique bear biology that is going to help humanity. Be sure you know more bear jokes than he does, or at least take some of the old standards and sub in 'bears'.

Listen to the interview he did on NPR where he told about how they came up with the 'bear' thing in the first place.

And when he asks a nasty question reply:
"Does a bear crap in the woods?" Get it down to a reflex.

Lynda Lindhardt · 3 years ago

I am a huge fan of Colbert and try to never miss it. My best advice, based on his very funny "Better know a District" series, is to not take yourself seriously. I can understand why he is having trouble getting other congressional representatives to participate...they almost all look like idiots when Stephen is done with them. Don't let him do this to you. Also, don't forget, despite his words to the contrary, he is ON OUR SIDE!!.

tim · 3 years ago

Hello Robert, Tim from Air America Radio affiliate Cincinnati here .... If asked about the cost of war as opposed to the cost of puttting together one of your brilliant documentaries, you might want to suggest that the TRILLION dollars being spent on this never ending war could be given to YOU instead and the right wing would never have to worry that the truth be told to the people ever again and though they have nothing to show for their TRILLION dollars, at least the message from the right will be uninterrupted without a pest like you to ruin their lying ass party!

jordan · 3 years ago

he will ask something like "why do you hate free market economy"

Gus Linton · 3 years ago

Don't "try" anythig. Be yourself. The interview will only flop if you present a false front. Let him be funny, but don't try to pander to him, unless you want to take him a gift of tube socks from WalMart.
I don't envy you. Even Franken was at a loss for words last week.
Just go with the flow. Enjoy, and most of all remember that whatever you say or do, just being on the show will give you a boost no mater how you come off-- especially with your son.

S. · 3 years ago

I actually know someone who works on the show who tells me Colbert is an incredibly nice guy in real life, so you may feel less stressed out after you talk with him before the interview. (Though I still wouldn't brave the interview for all the tea -- or all the prison-slave-labor-made plastic things -- in China. Good luck!)

ray woods · 3 years ago

Offer to make a film about his life and successful show.

Logan · 3 years ago

Tell Stephen that your next film will be about exposing the International Grizzly Bear Conspiracy which is really responsible for all the bad things happening these days.

brian r · 3 years ago

I really dont see colbert as being right winged at all. Like what others are saying he is just in character, remember its a comedy show, not a presidential debate. So dont worry you will be just fine, also since he hates bears i would suggest you bring him a big stuffed teddy bear on his show, have the bear with the american flag, and say something like, do you hate bears that love America hehehe.

Ruth Rosen · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,
The way to "do" the Kolbert Report, which I also admire very much, is not to take yourself seriously. Use wit and charm, banter back and forth. Don't just let him make the jokes and be a good sport. Tease back. Take his "character" as real, even though it is well-crafted and well acted, and with the lightest touch and the deftist artistry, laugh at yourself and at hime. That's the way to do the Kolbert Report.

Best of luck!

John Garner · 3 years ago

First, I'd visit Comedy Central and review what Steve has been doing on his recent shows. Second, there was an episode in which Wal-Mart was on his top 5 hit list, and the episode where 'He called it'. General Patton was successful as he studied his opponent. Finally, the sure way to survive is to let your Free Child (from Transactional Analysis the book) come out and play. Just remember to think a bit first, then come out with the clever reply. I'm setting my VCR....

Casey · 3 years ago

I agree with this guy 100%!





The key to a successful appearance is to understand the comedic premise of the program and not to fight it. What Colbert is doing is a thinly veiled satire of O'Reilly and the like, and he maintains this character throughout the interview.

One of the key rules of comedic improv is called "yes, and." The premise being that a participant agrees to the concept of the scenario. To that end, treat the interviewer as if the character is legitimate. ALLOW HIM TO DEMONSTRATE THE FOOLISHNESS OF THE POINTS OF VIEW HE'S PORTRAYING!

Also, avoid minutia. Offer him softball comedic setups like "don't you think America deserves a free and unbiased press?" A question like that permits him to answer in character and demonstrate that the individuals he's portraying do not, in fact, want a free press.

Most of all, don't try to be funny. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.


Posted by: Bill Prady at March 27, 2006 08:39 AM

Makana · 3 years ago

Mention how daunted you were by the proposition of being on his show, and how you turned to your advisors -- people all across the country -- for advice. Way cool! Mention some of the funniest bits... and ones that compliment him. Even read them if they're highly entertaining.

Stay light, be funny at times, but also don't diminish the seriousness of the situation. Most of all, be yourself, have fun with it, and let the Great Spirit speak through you!

Derek Voorhees · 3 years ago

Steven is a sharp dresser.

Compliment his tie.

(Then ask him if he knows that the seven-year-old that made it got paid about 30 grains of rice...)

Tom · 3 years ago

I think that the most difficult charge leveled against us Democrats and progressives by the Republicans and their kept press is that we don't have a positive message: All we can do is criticize what the Republicans are doing. When I hear this charge, it reminds me of various parenting classes I attended when my children were toddlers, in which various "experts" admonished me not to say "No!". If your child is drawing on the walls with indelible markers; if your child is breaking the backs of chairs by pushing them over; if your child is spilling entire cups of milk by trying to balance them in a fancy way on his fingers; DON'T SAY NO! DON'T BE NEGATIVE! Of course it's better to be positive than negative; however, it is also obvious that certain types of negative behavior, for example starting unnecessary wars, are such an impediment to any positive efforts that we have to move beyond these behaviors before we can do anything positive. The answer to the "negative" charge is that anyone who says that we haven't got a message is simply lying: The general goals of Democrats and Progressives are well-known. The reason for the negative impression right now is that the current administration has been SO bad that we have to move beyond it before we can even think about what the right thing to do is.

Chris · 3 years ago

Just be yourself. That's enough. Goof on everything he says. Don't be serious!!!!!

People will forget the show in an hour.

What's the worst that can happen? You look like an idiot?

So, look like an idiot!

It's all in fun, you can put him on the hot seat, ask him questions. Become the interviewer.

He's good, fast and witty, so, let him be.

Let it unfold, you will be fine. If you try to rehearse and think of what to say ahead of time, it won't be spontaneous and you will screw it up and not think of all the other wonderful things you 'could've' said.

I know you will do fine.

liz · 3 years ago

Remember Colbert is on your side. If you can find the recent video with Adriana Huffington watch it. Colbert didn't get a word in edgewise and she ended up taking over. Stephen just sat back. Great to watch. Good luck

Lynn Z. · 3 years ago

Tell him how much of an impact his "truthiness" campaign has had on your work (then go back and re-read Brad's suggestion about filling your films with all those annoying facts, and that you're working to change that.)

Ask to see his Peabody Award and tell him you've seen O'Reilly's (O'Reilly won a Polk, not a Peabody--although he claimed to have won not one, but TWO Peabody Awards!, and it is a big deal to Colbert.)

Don't stare at his ear (the one that sticks out.)

Befriend one of the Colbert production staff and thank him/her, suggesting Steven make the person Executive Producer.

Finally, imagine all of us there, high-fiving your terrific work! Above all, enjoy yourself! Your son will be so proud!

Evelyn Goodman · 3 years ago

I envy you! Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are two of my most favorite TV shows!
Take a deep breath and just be your savvy, charming self, and I am sure all will go well.
Stephen Colbert DOES have a bit of a nasty habit of talking over you. Politely tell him to "buzz off" and allow you to answer his questions and pose some of your own thoughts---but quickly!
As to content, talking about the DVDs you have filmed should be a perfect way for you to inject what you stand for, which boils down to, "I love my country and want it back"!!
I love you, (one among many)----remember that!! (---and, good luck!!)
Evelyn Goodman

Gene Sobel · 3 years ago

I have often wondered why interviewees put up with the "reporters" on the Daily Show and Colbert's show (which I do not think is very funny - he was much better as a reporter).

Jon Stewart once (or perhaps several times) has said that the biggest mistake his guests can make is to be serious. Just lighten up!!

Aaron · 3 years ago

He'll for sure ask you about why you hate American companies and the fair and balanced media, something like "Why would you insult Pappa Bear (O Reiley) and since Fox says it's fair and balanced, why shouldn't we believe them?

Jennifer · 3 years ago

Colbert is a rabid Lord of the Rings fan (book and movies). He just can't help himself when someone asks a question about LotR and goes into uber-geek mode.

It could buy you a second of breathing time.

Just have fun. Your audience is the choir so you don't need to preach.

Beth · 3 years ago

My advice is not to take the whole thing too seriously. Don't use it as a forum to make political points bc it is a comedy show and the audience is primarily there to be entertained. Consider it more like a "commercial" for what you do... an opportunity to get the name out... maybe give people a URL or a place where they can seek out more information towards the end of the interview (or ask Colbert if he'll give it himself at the end of the interview) rather than using the show as a soap box. If you come across too serious you risk appearing overstuffed with your own importance. In contrast, if you relax, take things lightly, and make jokes about what you do, you won't be as worried about verbal chess and you'll be more likely to have a good time and appear likeable (which you are :). In addition, keep in mind that the audience of The Daily Show and Colbert Report is interested in learning while having fun. So let them have fun... Enjoy yourself and they will enjoy you :)

Megan Crotty · 3 years ago

He'll probably ask you why you hate big business — oh and he'll mention that he buys all of his white tube socks there. You might want to suggest an alternative store for tube-socks buying.

Emily Kennedy · 3 years ago

Invoke your right to remain silent.
Really, enjoy- if you think he is bullying you, ask him to stop!
Emily Kennedy
Danville IN

valeria · 3 years ago

I like Steven's show. The guests who fare the best are those who can laugh at themselves. His brand of conservatism seems to expose the weaknesses in the very themes he chooses to explore...conservative hypocracy, and irrational examples of those who are supposed to be conservative. He is a closet liberal.

marc · 3 years ago

I would suggest that you go for the jugular and pronounce mister Colbert "soft on crime" as often as possible. You also, might want to respond to any criticisms by mentioning,

"Well, obviously you care more about the comfort of terrorists than the safety of Americans";

"You probably put Katrina in your Final Four and were wanting it to win all along".

Best of luck.

Judy Wilson · 3 years ago

What ever he asks you, have fun with it. Don't get too serious or you will loose the audiance and Stephan will start an uncomfortable attack. Try to be clever enough to come back with something light hearted to his questions. Everyone will have fun and we will find out you're an OK guy with great ideas.
Relax!!!
Remember, you're not there to make a point, you're just there to bolster his bit!

J. Holland · 3 years ago

Let him push the agenda--run the circus, --let him have the show. Unless you are also incredibly funny, do the blank face.

Bill C. Davis · 3 years ago

I suggest viewing what Jon Stewart did to Paul Begaglia and Tucker Carlson - and in an homage to Jon Stewart - do the same with Colbert - if he tries to trivialize, mock or marginalize what you've done. You might even wear what Jon Stewart wore on that fateful day. Verbatim quotes even.

Lawrence Miller · 3 years ago

At one point in "The Fog of War" Robert McNamara says he learned a valuable lesson as Secretary of Defense that always works in an interview. (1) Never answer the question that is posed to you, and (2) always give the answer to the question that you wished had been posed to you.

Follow McNamara's advice and you will do fine!

John · 3 years ago

While I can't help with responses, here are some of the tongue in cheek questions that may come your way:
1. What do you have against the free enterprise system?

2. Shouldn’t employers have just as many friends looking out for them in Congress as those special interests like the NAACP, AFL-CIO and NOW?

3. Gerrymandering, that’s a funny word, just what does it mean?

4. What has Tom Delay done that the Democratic leadership hadn’t pioneered?

5. Why do you feel that wealthy white Christian Republicans don’t deserve the same break that African Americans have gotten for the last 40 years?

6. Are you angry that Tom Delay was just better and more effective at legislating than were the Democrats when they ran Congress?

Bill C. Davis · 3 years ago

I suggest viewing what Jon Stewart did to Paul Begaglia and Tucker Carlson - and in an homage to Jon Stewart - do the same with Colbert - if he tries to trivialize, mock or marginalize what you've done. You might even wear what Jon Stewart wore on that fateful day. Verbatim quotes even.

~debbie · 3 years ago

In times of stress, I like to revert back to my elementary school days...just answer every question with "I know you are, but what am I!' or "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!"

Break a leg!

Tom Davis · 3 years ago

Steven Colbert is much more interested in hearing himself talk than hearing his guests talk. He consistently interrupts, talks over, and otherwise disrespects and disregards what they have to say. Don't let him. If you have a point to make, MAKE IT, no matter what he says or does to shut you up. (He's no Bill O'Reilley - he's [semi-]polite about it - but he almost never lets guests get their whole point across.)

Mike · 3 years ago

Oh man, it's gonna be great.

First off, don't be one of those jackasses who look surprised after he makes his fantastical entrance after high fiving the crowd and potentially "raising the roof." Make sure you're ready for it and look cool when he sits down.

We can only hope he'll ask you: "President Bush...A great president? Or THE GREATEST President?"

In addition, you should probably laugh at whatever he says - This allows you to appear as smart as he is, as if you are "in" on the joke. Check out what Mark Cuban and Annie Duke did on the show - those are recent episodes of his.

Good luck man, it will be hilarious!

A fan and supporter,
Mike

susan · 3 years ago

Since Colbert is a parody of O'Reilly, here are my comments after having my author on O-Reilly:

The more you can relax and have fun the better. You have to get rid of your being frightened and ready to be attacked. Approach the experience with optimism and excitement that you will have a chance to say something important on national tv. Smile a lot. Remember this is a comedy show!

Think of how awkward Martha Stewart always was on David Letterman because she took herself too seriously. Deliver your serious message but be prepared to laugh at yourself at some point.

Gehrig · 3 years ago

I agree with a couple that think he'll ask you about Democrats. You should be ready to SKEWER the timid, stand-for-nothing Dems.

And you LOVE America. Love especially its diverse peoples and love our military, which is the most diverse part of our society. You understand why GW is trying to have them all maimed and killed, because our soldiers are diverse.

jon · 3 years ago

A repeat question Colbert likes to use is "George W. Bush a great president or the greatest?" Play off of that in some way to show you are in tune with his show, use it early on.

For instance maybe, "Bears, are they ruthless or the ruthiest?" This grabs three Colbert comic vehicles, bears, the Bush question similarity, and making up of words with "ruthiest." Colbert claims he made up truthiness.

If he slams you with the Bush question, answer "Bush is off the charts, and I mean Bush is really OFF."

Liam Sweeny · 3 years ago

Don't take yourself so seriously when you're on there. He's not going to. Follow his delusions occasionally. When he plays chicken wit' ya', don't blink. And above all else, don't drink the water in the green room.

paul · 3 years ago

If you want to stick it to the Colbert, ask him why his idependant fan run site www.colbertnation.com, was registered by Comedy Central. Here is the WHOIS information for it:

Registrant:
Comedy Partners
1775 Broadway
New York, New York 10019
US

Domain name: COLBERTNATION.COM

But all that aside, realize that he is a comedian making fun of Bill O'Reilly and just wants to make his audience laugh. If you want to stir the pot, push him out of the way when he goes to the audience to get pumped up before he gets to you.

DO NOT BE SERIOUS, or you will look like a total ass.

If you want to make him chuckle, ask him how he can call O'Reilly "Papa Bear" when he hates bears so much. (One of the shows many inside jokes is how the biggest threat to our nation are bears.)

All that said, have fun and enjoy the ride.

Detroit Girl · 3 years ago

Don't take yourself seriously at all! He will make mincemeat of you if you even try to make a serious point. Questions like: "What have you got against free market capitalism?" and "Do you really expect Americans to work in sweat shops?" are not to be answered--simply laugh and shake your head. You'll be fine.

Rebecca · 3 years ago

Check out Colbert's interview with Terri Gross on Fresh Air from last December. Gross is a big fan, and you can get a glimpse of Colbert out of character.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?st...

Leo · 3 years ago

First, Mr. Greenwald, keep up all of the damn good work you've been doing! The tide is beginning to turn in America, as our nation is slowly waking up to the realities of this pathetic administration. Please do not let up--we need to continue to fight these guys with everything we've got.

Alright, now to Mr Colbert. The show is simply fantastic, and Stephen Colbert's daily parodies of O'Reilly, etc., are much needed in today's ridiculous world of what can barely be described as a "media."

Now, here's how to approach it: Feel free to laugh on occasion (it would be hard not to), but don't let laughter overcome what can be a very productive segment (remember the segments are really quite short). Take an approach similar to Al Franken's and Keith Olbermann's. They were both very funny, but also got their messages across--i.e., these guys (O'Reilly, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Frist, etc., etc., etc.,) are idiots and things need to drastically change. Best of luck with the show--you'll do great! We'll all be watching.

Pacifica · 3 years ago

You need to be prepared to exhibit your sense of humor. When he makes a totally outrageous statement, you need to laugh and respond with something like, "That's a really funny line. You must be watching Fox News!" or "Ha! Ha! Bill O'Reilly could not have said that better himself!" Then you MIGHT have the opportunity to explain why that is such an outrageous characterization of you OR to make a completely different but related point on the topic. It will show that you have a sense of humor, you will avoid that "deer in the headlights" look that many of his guests get, and may even give you the opportunity to make a few points of your own.

You might think about what points you would like to make and what topics he might address that could provide you an opening to make those statements.

If you could make your statements in a brief, humorous way, even better. Something like, "Oh, because there idea of doing xxx is SOOOO much [smarter, kinder, more intelligent, etc.] than doing yyy". Or, "We all know that doing xxx results in more yyy." Both of these must be dripping with sarcasm and point out the ridiculous inconsistencies in the competing side's arguments.

Good luck!

Rich · 3 years ago

Try to turn the real reason for your movie on its head. Sell it as a pro-Delay movie. Stephen might ask you why you hate free speech, referring to campaign contibutions (money laundering) as a form of free speech. He may accuse you of being against Tom Delay having his voice. Suggest to him that Tom Delay thrives on contoversy. He appeared happy to have his mug shot taken. "I made this movie for Congressman Delay and all those 'Great Americans' who love him. Anything anti-Delay is actually pro-Delay. It will make him stronger! This movie will get him re-elected."

John · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald: I suggest that you turn the tables on the razor sharp Mr. Colbert and ask him "if the Colbert Report is such a quality show, why isn't it on the Fox (Faux) News Channel?"-- Good luck and have fun!

Erin · 3 years ago

I agree with Kathi--my advice is to play along with him, smile, yet still make sure you get your points across strongly. Sometimes he talks over the guests!

Brad P. from NJ · 3 years ago

1) Get your point in the beginning sound bite.
2) Bring a Lord of the Rings themed gift.
3) Tie his Peabody Awards to some negative award given to Wal-Mart.

1) As has been mentioned before, and always bears - snark, snark - mentioning again: Keep your answers short and snarky.

In watching the Colbert Report, part of his O'Reilly parody is cutting off his guests, using the right's love for sound bites to shred the guest. Get your point into the first 5 seconds or so.

Q - "I bought this tie at Wal-Mart... am I a bad man?"

A - "That tie looks nice, so you can't have bought it there. If you had, I'd point out that you should have bought 4 more, because they'll fall apart 5 times as fast."

Q - "Why hate a company that helps keep old people off the street and out of Silver Fox gangs?"

A - "Keeping them off the street would be a great objective if they weren't also putting the American shoemaker out of business... all that standing in the door greeting people means they spend what little money they make on a lot of cheap imported shoes."

Q - "Why do you hate the Waltons?"

A - "I don't hate them, I just know that any family that gives less to charity per year than they spend on toilet paper isn't a family I can support."

Q - "George Bush, great President, or greatest President?"

A - "George Bush - greatest friend of corrupt American corporations."

2) As to the gift... I think that's an amazing idea!!! I see that nobody's mentioned that Stephen is a HUGE... and I mean MONSTROUSLY HUGE... fan of the Lord of the Rings. If you can get him a signed copy of something, or a cereal box with a character's face on it, he'll be thrown off guard a bit. You'll need to keep it small, or the stage crew will alert him, and he'll find some way to keep you from giving it to him. He especially seems to like the character Aragorn. So, if you can get him something of Aragorn, or with Vigo Mortensen's picture, he'll be a bit off his game.

3) He's also proud of his huge portrait and his two Peabody Awards. if you can tie his positive awards to the negative awards Wal-Mart has gotten from organizations for abusing their staff, you may have a couple of seconds to get in an answer.

Holly · 3 years ago

When Ariana Huffington was on she wasn't afraid to laugh at Colbert, laugh at herself, and look to the audience for help. I think she came off well, and you can too. Just don't be too planned or practiced.

Jane Jerome · 3 years ago

Hi Robert, I'm sure he'll be super nice to you, just like he was to Keith Oberman. Ask him why Papa Bear is lowering the level of discourse by being a rude prick; "shut up" is something his mother probably told him wasn't polite to say! j2

Genevieve Cerf · 3 years ago

So the way the Colbert Report works is that no matter what you say, he is bound to ask you a completely irrelevant -- but funny -- question as a follow-up.

Turn the tables on him! No matter what he asks you, you should answer "Well Stephen, I'm really glad you asked me that question because it's giving me the opportunity to make the very important point that the Bush administration is...

Now you should prepare these "answers" in advance so that they can be both a little funny but serious in making the important points!

I'll be watching... and hopefully howling with laughter!

Good luck! We're rooting for you!!!!

geoff · 3 years ago

just give it right back to him and you'll be fine.

tom · 3 years ago

One it of advice: don't appear radical. Appeal to reason. And roll w/the improv!

Good luck.

MMHaffner · 3 years ago

Logic, logic, and more logic. From what I understand he is against the Administrations policy, yes? But for the show he will play the devils advocate and be for the Admins. policies.

Now, the neo-conservatives have based everything on "fuzzy logic", (which is just another word for lying.) They get away with it, because NO ONE hits them straight on.

Colbert will be forced to come from that perspective.
You bring pure and simple logic to the discussion, and they turn to name calling. Use more logic. WHY are you name calling and not discussing the issue. You bring up an issure, they turn to the Divertion tactic by changing the subject. Use more logic. WHY are you diverting and not discussing the issue, etc, etc, etc.

This is a great opportunity to show how the neo-conservatives operate and pull the wool over everyone's eyes.

Use Logic, logic and more logic.

Filiberto Urias · 3 years ago

Dear Robert:

I admire how you don’t place yourself above seeking and accepting advice.

Due to the extremely biased media, I’m sure I don’t have to remind you that this is SERIOUS comedy!

I’ve never seen this show and I don’t know how much time you will be given to answer questions, but you can be sure of one thing: it won’t be enough. Therefore, probably the best advice I can give you is to understand the full range of options available to you at all times.

More specifically, please don’t make the serious mistake that I’ve seen others make: If you know your time to make a certain point is going to be especially limited, prepare ahead of time and understand that it is perfectly acceptable to answer a question with another question.

For example, I heard a presidential candidate stumble all over himself when asked on right wing radio, “Do you think that the US should cut and run in Iraq?”

He should have answered something like, “Do you think that Germany should have ‘cut and run’ after it invaded Poland during WWII?” You should prepare back-up question responses for sticky questions like “Why do you hate America?” That could be answered with something like, “How does fighting those that are shredding our Constitution become hating America?”

Good luck and keep up the good work!

p.s.: The second bit of advice would be to learn a few quotes to fire back with. Here’s a sampling:

It was Thomas Jefferson who said, "Those desiring to be ignorant yet free desire for something that never was and will never be.”
Author James A. Baldwin said, “It is certain, in any case, that ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have.”
Thomas Jefferson said,“Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
It was Thomas Jefferson who said, "Every government degenerates when trusted to the rulers of the people alone. The people themselves therefore are its only safe depositories."
It was US President John F. Kennedy who said, “A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people.”

“The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.”
• James A. Baldwin

“All it takes for the triumph of evil is that good men and women do nothing.”
• Edmund Burke

“Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.”
• Albert Einstein

"Your failure to be informed does not make me a wacko."
• John Loeffler

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
• Mark Twain

"It is error alone which needs the support of government.
Truth can stand by itself."
• Thomas Jefferson

“A little revolution now and then is a good thing;
the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.”
• Thomas Jefferson, 1787

“Those that make peaceful revolution impossible, make violent revolution inevitable.”
• John F. Kennedy

“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”
• Edward Abbey

"We can have a democratic society or we can have the concentration of great wealth in the hands of the few.
We cannot have both."
• Louis Brandeis, Supreme Court Justice from 1916 - 1939

"Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys."
• P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

“He who knows nothing is closer to the truth than he whose mind is filled with falsehoods and errors.”
• Thomas Jefferson

“Education: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
• Ambrose Bierce (1842 – 1914), The Devil’s Dictionary

“You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.”
• Naguib Mahfouz

“A civilization is not destroyed by wicked people,
for it is not necessary that the people be wicked.
It is only necessary that they be spineless.”
• James Baldwin

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
• George Carlin

Del · 3 years ago

As another poster mentioned, all these comments are likely fodder for any of SC's watchers, and your time will be short. So consider something visual: Come out in a W-M "smiley" mask, which, when you take it off, is a Delay mask, which, when you take it off, is a Colbert mask. Or perhaps a Bear mask.

Good luck!

Cristina · 3 years ago

I think everyone is missing the point here.
Be truthful and yourself, have a sense of humor and be able to laugh at his jokes.
Give subtle comebacks to any insults he throws at you.

Don't try to beat him by being fake.

Katherine · 3 years ago

I have been an ardent fan of Jon Stewart from his first "Daily Show" so became a fan of Colbert at the same time. Have no fear --- you will do a terrific job.......remember that Colbert's just a big spoof anyhow, and not out in right field. John Kasich who has his own tv show on Fox, and is a Republican who ran for President, appeared last week and was able to hold his own with Colbert while seeming to laugh and enjoy himself, so there's no doubt you can do it. (Being a former Ohio resident, I do also recall that in his younger days Kasich also ran on stage when, I think he was at a Greatful Dead concert, so he's not as stuffy as he may appear) Relax and have fun because you know all of us will be tuned in sending all the positive vibes you need.

Txacoli · 3 years ago

Wait until it gets ugly, if it does......and casually mention WalMart's support of bears.....

Josp Iazza · 3 years ago

Don't just memorize, practice improv.



Ever seen Drew Cary's Green Screen? They frequently play a game called "New Choice." Get someone to ask you questions that Colbert may or -- especially --- may NOT ask you.


After some response you make, your coach says "new choice" and you have to change your answer. For instance:



Q: What's your favorite pet?
A dog.
New choice!
A cat.
New choice!
Uhh...

And so on. At some point you'll be at a loss of what to answer so answer what ever comes into your head. With practice you'll be able to come up with more answers before pulling responses out of thin air and hopefully after that, what you do make up will be funny yet tangentially related.

Cheryl · 3 years ago

I hope you realize the Colbert Report is a satire show. He will most likely be on your side, even though he will appear to be otherwise. Taking him seriously is about the worst thing you can do, lest you look like a humorless idiot as one or two of his other guests managed to.

Hermann Gars · 3 years ago

Key, point from an Anthropologist, right when you make that very first eye contact, switch eyes,,,That's right, humans can only direct one eye to one eye at a time...As soon as you eye to eye with this Colbert, then change eye contact to the other eye...The otherside will be lost...You now have them swimming for a level of control...That's when you push your point...Yea, you are welcome...Buck Creek Lodge in Austria

Rick Abrams · 3 years ago

I agree with Alex at March 27, 2006 08:41 AM

Do not be dogmatic

Have a sense of humor.
Rick

Dennis Wilkinson · 3 years ago

Perhaps you should start with a question to him, what is the definition of a third world country. Use a check list to prove to him that is exactly what the USA is becoming. Other nations extract our natural resources (intellectual as well as hard resources) use them to develop products and in return sell them to us prices we can not compete with on any level. We can't continue to live on the bubble. We're selling off everything we own. We rent our entire international infrastructure. Our future is contained in leases that will begin to expire and our children will wonder what happened. People in general are easily amused. I wish they were as easily educated. Good luck.

Richard · 3 years ago

Answer him only in French. He's not really French.

Anne F. · 3 years ago

Don't try to outfunny him. That's my advice--play it straight...

Ask him if he'd work for Wal-mart!

Pat Thurston · 3 years ago

"Enron. Wasn't the "crooked" E just a cheap shot? What was their job? To make money! They were good stewards of business, they did what it took to win. What do have against capitalism?"

or ...

"So what, you think the smartest guys in the room should be socialists comrade?"

or ...

"The title of your film should have been "WalMart, an American success story." Sam Walton was a hero to working class people. We can't all afford your designer suits. And isn't American business all about competition? If you can't compete with WalMart, maybe you can get a job there. I hear they're always looking for welcomers. You know if you have a WalMart in your neighborhood, you couldn't get a better neighbor."

or ...

"President Bush ... great President, or the greatest President?"

or ...

"What do you have against truthiness?"

Melinda Tremaglio · 3 years ago

I believe in a womans right to choose, Bush and his cronies are slowly stacking the courts to overturn Roe v Wade. I don't like the Colbert show and I watch it randomly, just be yourself and speak the truth of equality with a big smile. Your films speak for themselves and a lot of us!
Melinda Tremaglio
president, Palm Springs
National Organization for Women

Bill Brigham · 3 years ago

Colbert is, of course, not what he appears to be. To begin, listen carefully to his own introduction of his show, pronounced "Col-bear Re-pour," poking fun at the faux French pronunciation of his last name. He is a devout Catholic, married with children (who are prohibited from watching his show at their tender young age), from a large Catholic family. But he is most certainly a liberal of some stripe. The best exchange I have seen on his show was between he and Al Franken, who of course is a professional entertainer but who never broke "character" as a flag-waving liberal and was funny at the same time. Some people have gone on his show totally unaware that Colbert is a faux provacateur, using his supposedly pointed questioning of the guest as a means of ridiculing Bush, neo-cons, etc. I think the most effective response to his questioning is that which is not overly serious. Try to get into a frame of mind that allows you to stick to your principles BUT TO POKE FUN AT YOURSELF at the same time. The people who know your work will know what's going on, the people who don't know your work will still be intrigued by the nature of it and will check it out, thereby also getting in on the joke. Good luck and have fun.

Gan · 3 years ago

Make your point in a funny way. Better yet, let him make your point by asking him the right question. Play it as if you are interviewing him for one of your films.

Matthew · 3 years ago

Congratulations, I'd think that it would be a great time to be on the show. It's a brilliant program, and Stephen is the new king of satire. Keep in mind that the entire thing is parody of the "correct news" programs, and that he is truly a patriot to mock those whom he does. You'll be great, just have fun with it and get into their comic groove. If you're lacking material, just watch any G.W. Bush press conference between now and Thursday :) Thank you for your great work, and kudos to Stephen.

Ericka · 3 years ago

Americans are angry at the wrong things. Instead of attacking liberals they should focus on what politicans and corporations are doing to this country. Then give exampes. That's what my fims are all about.

susan williams · 3 years ago

Advice--Definitiely lighten up--especially watch your body language--too many guests lean forward, put their hands on the table like their ready to fight, or fidget uncomfortably in the chair. Do use big arm movements like Stephen does to make your points. Surrender in advance to the fact that Stephen will win--your goal should be to illustrate your position. Also, keep in what Danny said, and use his fear and hatred of bears whenever you can. e. g. ask him to picture how the bear may be benefitting or thriving from current policy. has created My advice for a mantra in response to Stephen's questions would be to poke at his having questions for you but only answers for himself. Talk about the value of questions rather than premature answers. Connie Chung seemed to disarm him when she asked if she could ask him questions. (He said yes)

David Robison · 3 years ago

Just a little come back if it arises:

Steven hates bears as we all know, yet he calls O'liely "Pappy Bear". Does this mean he fears big bad bill, or is Billy just "sweet willie now? Scary loofa images..... yikes.


"Homoedipal" complex? Maybe this could be one of Steven's new websters addition.

Best of luck! You will do fine! Just remember you stand for the same thing that Steven does:

Exposing the TRUTH!

Satire is sometimes the clearest way to see the absurdity of our "age of deception".

A BIG FAN!

David

allison · 3 years ago

Robert, here are some tips that will get you big laughs. I get laughs for a living, so you can trust me on this.

The second Stephen sits, after gettting cheers from the studio audience, you should say, "Stephen, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that applause was for me. I'm serious. They were looking at me the whole time."

Then, later, when you make a decent point about something, or Stephen pauses even for an instant, you say, "You just got nailed. You were. You were nailed. How does it feel to be nailed by an old lefty? Not too pretty. That's why O'Reilly won't have me on."

allison · 3 years ago

Robert, here are some tips that will get you big laughs. I get laughs for a living, so you can trust me on this.

The second Stephen sits, after gettting cheers from the studio audience, you should say, "Stephen, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that applause was for me. I'm serious. They were looking at me the whole time."

Then, later, when you make a decent point about something, or Stephen pauses even for an instant, you say, "You just got nailed. You were. You were nailed. How does it feel to be nailed by an old lefty? Not too pretty. That's why O'Reilly won't have me on."

allison · 3 years ago

Robert, here are some tips that will get you big laughs. I get laughs for a living, so you can trust me on this.

The second Stephen sits, after gettting cheers from the studio audience, you should say, "Stephen, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that applause was for me. I'm serious. They were looking at me the whole time."

Then, later, when you make a decent point about something, or Stephen pauses even for an instant, you say, "You just got nailed. You were. You were nailed. How does it feel to be nailed by an old lefty? Not too pretty. That's why O'Reilly won't have me on."

Peter Saflund · 3 years ago

If he tries to corner you on liberal bias or some such thing, remember there are over 1200 religious (mostly Christian) radio stations, and Limbaugh alone claims over 1200 affiliates carry his program, not to mention O'Reilly, Hannity, Savage, etc. There are another 600 or more radio stations that carry predominantly conservative talk from lesser celebrities. That is 50% of all the radio stations in America. This is not because it's what people want. Conservative advertisers prop up these programs and talk is a very cheap format. Air America, in contrast, has just over 100 affiliates. Until Media Matters did their study, all the Sunday Pundit shows "balanced" their conservative Republicans only by grudging inclusion of less conservative Republicans. In response, there is now a glimmer of real diversity of opinion. Who knows how long it will last. Colbert can laugh all he wants, but in the view of many Americans an administration that defines itself by war crime, thought crime, and theft and mismanagement of public resources does not distinguish itself in terms of real American values. One of the problems is that Americans HATE bad news, and hate even more being the cause of bad news. We are a comfortable, isolated nation that wants to think well of itself, a nation that pursues only noble causes; a nation that cannot stand critical analysis of its actions whether historical or current, and is for the most part ignorant of the larger ramifications of today's global issues. We are therefore inclined to defend our image, more than any particular tort-feasor, though conveniently, it often gets them off the hook. This is the motivation of many in Colbert's audience too.

JPugHenry · 3 years ago

Just remember, comedy lets you talk about real serious stuff in a funny way and still get your point across.

Jeff Lebow · 3 years ago

Robert,
By now you probably get it. Your "fans" have just about said it all. Have fun, enjoy the banter, don't take anything too serious, but most of all, remind SC that "bears are undocumented", then sit back and enjoy the ride. No self respecting comedy show host like SC can resist an opening. Keep up the good work.

Susan · 3 years ago

Hi Robert!!
Because Colbert is really doing a parody of Bill O'Reilly, why not ask him what he has against Bill O'Reilly... or Fox News... that he's spending his entire career mocking the right wing, mindless institution? -- There is a creeping sense, btw, that some people out there in TV land don't know the Colbert Report is a send up. I think you should try to unmask the masked man.

libbie · 3 years ago

"Wow, you have an audience full of Americans, I love Americans." that's how you start. Bring in a flag if you can. Or wear a red white and blue outfit. You'll do great. Never answer a direct question give him a question back to every one of his questions.

Lois Hamilton · 3 years ago

No matter what you say or do, Stephen will have fun with you and question your loyalty to America. He is a brilliant satirist who is making fun of conservative, right-wing fanatics he pretends to support. Since his persona demands that he act like a pompous ass, just have fun, smile a lot and shake your head. Remember that Jon Stewart produces Colbert's show!

Beverly Smith · 3 years ago

Duh, I don't know what a URL is??????
Anyhoo.... Just stick to what you know as the truth, and hope for the best. Also remember they (Daily Show & Colbert) are on OUR side,
yes?
While shopping recently I met a lady (not a senior citizen yet) with a walker, and learned that she had worked for Wal-Mart, fallen while an employee and gotten the disastrous injuries leading to the walker and strange, expensive medication, which she could not afford-- Because? Wal-Mart refused to help in any way..... I'm still shocked and trying to figure out who she can see for help, as her lawyers seem to have been inadequate.
All this to remind you there are people out here who appreciate what you are doing-- so bravely!!!

Sincerely supportive,
Beverly

Ben Mack · 3 years ago

Robert,

How come you and your staff will agree to be interviewed and then back out? Not even returning emails...

Isn't this the same kind of behavior you resent in mass media?

(just the type of question that might trip you up)

Ben

gary nelson · 3 years ago

Imagine how the Dali Lama would deal with the situation. He would alternately laugh and scold. He'd be serious when appropriate and he'd direct the conversation when necessary. We all know you're a fish outta water, so flop around! Flop around!

Maybe above all, you should remind the participants and those watching... to be compassionate and love... most of all... LOVE!

L.D. · 3 years ago

Remember that his researchers are reading all of this. And be honest.

Scott Welch · 3 years ago

Your best advice could come from my only source for news, Keith Olberman, who survived Colbert virtually unscathed. However, I will be amazed if Colbert doesn't tell you that he and all his friends and family shop Wal*Mart for everything from undies to shotguns (to go hunting with Dick, of course.) This is your opportunity to let the world know the truth about whatever you want, because Stephen has a HUGE following, almost as big as Wal*Mart itself! Take my advice and call Olberman at MSNBC. If he can't at least help, I'm sure he will be sympathetic. Good luck - I'll be watching.

Mike Fleischauer · 3 years ago

For Colbert, you need to go on the offensive & not let him dictate the terms of the conversation. As soon as you can, start beating up on Bush with both hands & both feet - "a failed businessman, bailed out by his Daddy's rich oil friends on multiple occasions", "an ignorant, poorly spoken tool of a failed neo-con cabal", "a clownish embarrassment of a leader", etc.

Get this zinger in: "Bush & the neo-conservatives mistakenly think that WWII is the ideal model for all American interventions overseas. Inflict a total military defeat on your enemies & then reshape their societies however you see fit. Unfortunately, this only worked with the only 2 societies in the history of this planet who are as obsessively & compulsively obedient to authority as you are!

John Hayes · 3 years ago

I completely agree with Kindmtnmama, Bill Prady and others on this page, and wonder what some of the commentators on this page really believe they are wathching. The Colbert Report is nothing but satire, a brilliant show making fun of the right wing and the current administration. If he knocks you down, it is only because he is doing so in jest, unless, of course, you're not on his side. To the amusement of the audience, he pumped up O'Reilly when he was a guest; just as easily, he used satire and ironey with Maureen Dowd, and the more he pretended to dis her, the better he made her look. You have nothing to worry about.

Stella · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

Watch the Colbert Report Connie Chung interview again. She certainly survived with her dignity intact. Chung was quite impressive because she had a sense of humor about herself.

Colbert is amazing and devistating to guests because he's a brilliant guy who laughs at himself.

Jonathan Swift, founder member of the Scriblerus Club (c 1713), included Alexander Pope. The writers designed to ridicule "all the false tastes in learning, under the character of a man of capacity enough, that had dipped into every art and science, but injudiciously in each."

In other words, accept and who you are, your limitations, and don't take yourself too seriously. And, as Kindmtnmama wrote, he is satirizing FOX, not you.

Have a good time and remember that he must think highly of you to invite you on the show. Good luck. I'll be watching and rooting for you.

S. Bykowski · 3 years ago

Robert,
Congratulations! You've hit the big time!
My advice is to play with Stephen. You obviously know it's comedy, so nobody watching is taking Stephen's "attacks" seriously. The best interviews I can recall were Al Franken and the Rev. Al Sharpton--he played with Stephen by pretending to take his questions seriously; and yet he still managed to get all his talking points in. Say to him the things you wish you could say to Bill O'Reilly--you know you won't get shouted down, and you know you won't get punched by Stephen. Pretend to stroke his ego (he may even mention this contest of yours and gloat over how scared you are of him: if he does just confess how humbled you are and how intimidated you are--he'll eat it up) --and if he gets nasty, threaten him with bears. He will no doubt be a huge defender of Wal Mart and Fox and, of course, Tom DeLay. Go ahead and tell him that yes, you are a traitor to the country. When you accuse DeLay of this crime or that corruption, he won't disagree with you, technically, but he will just wonder why that's a bad thing.
Good luck, and most important, just have fun!!

gary nelson · 3 years ago

Imagine how the Dali Lama would deal with the situation. He would alternately laugh and scold. He'd be serious when appropriate and he'd direct the conversation when necessary. We all know you're a fish outta water, so flop around! Flop around!

Maybe above all, you should remind the participants and those watching... to be compassionate and love... most of all... LOVE!

Polly · 3 years ago

Hi!
My main focus would be to NOT be TOO serious. Maybe you could watch a few of his shows from past nights, to get a feel for how it goes?

Like others have said, I dont' think you have anything to worry about (- maybe your worry was just you joking around, I wonder?) :) There are so many comments, I haven't read them all, but I very much liked what Bill Prady said up near the top. Basically, go with the "comedic premise" and I love this quote from Mr. Prady: "ALLOW HIM TO DEMONSTRATE THE FOOLISHNESS OF THE POINTS OF VIEW HE'S PORTRAYING!"
YOu should and probably will have a ton of fun goofing around with Mr. Colbert about the utter stupidity of the point of view that he is ridiculing by portraying in that fabulous way he does.
however, don't worry about trying to stay serious - that would go against the whole grain of the show! Just be natural, and if you can, have fun with it!
Break a leg! <3 Polly

Brice Hobbs · 3 years ago

All you have to do when Colber' has you up against the wall is 1. Ask him what part of France did he come from? (we love france but you know...)
and/or 2. Ask him how he survived the tounge lashing from Ms. Manners.
Get the tape on that one and you will see how Colber' was dumbfounded by her propriety.
What ever you do don't give in and take BushCo. out with comments like "Mission Accomplished" and the like....

CyberBrook · 3 years ago

Just be yourself.

Sissy · 3 years ago

Er... "40 year old virgin" was Steve Carell. Try "Strangers with Candy" for Colbert. Just sayin'.

canuckjourno · 3 years ago

hey Robert
You've hit the motherlode.
What better gig could you ask for? An audience with the Dalai Lama, maybe.
Question is: what do you want out of this that a coupla minutes with Colbert hasn't already given you free, gratis and for nothing?
I used to work for one of the big investigative TV documentary shows up here in Canadada, prepping our equivalent of Mike Wallace.
You simply have to surrender and flow, babe---there's no real way to prep [except maybe the bear bit] because you're across the divide from a master at satire...who's on your side.
Your job here is to make Colbert look good [very good, if you can] by being yourself---after all, it's what you do best.
Don't be clever, don't try to spin him. Get into the Greenwald-ness of it all. That's why the cosmos has arranged to have you on. To be the most Greenwald you can be...so that the world will queue up forever to see your new film.
And that's easy if you stay in the moment. Don't think. Don't censor yourself. Be Robert.
It's gonna be amazing and banal all at once.
It's TV.
And---this is the real lesson in TV---don't be surprised if you get bumped.
Happens.
cheers!

Samantha Shipman · 3 years ago

I remember watching an episode that featured an interview with Katrina vanden Heuvel, in which Colbert jokingly attempted to give her the angry lesbian image. I thought she came through the interview very well - the key was that she allowed him to be funny. She didn't try to fight the image he was giving her, and so didn't seem to fulfill it. She laughed at his ridiculous questions, then in her answers preserved her dignity by using those ridiculous questions to make a valid point, without actually taking them seriously. I remember at one point her asked her something like, "Katrina, how does it feel to be named after a natural disaster that has destroyed thousands of lives?" She laughed at his question, and responded something to the effect of, "At first it felt terrible...but I am honored because it has exposed the lies and deceit of this administration..." I thought that was a perfect response that kept the humor of the show as well as earning cheers and applause from the crowd for her ballsy and valid point.

Whatever you do, don't try to fight him, and like one person said, don't try to be funny. Just try to be a good sport.

Mark · 3 years ago

You will do fine. This is a satire king who enjoys guests like you to open the eyes of other Americans. I think what Stephen and Jon Stewart does is very valuable to this country. Satire is an art form that is a valuable critique to where this country is heading. Stephen Colbert's "character" is a spoof of Bill O'Reilly. Get the points you need to get across, but have fun with him....be satirical too, but serious enough to get your point across. Good luck, have fun!

Mark

jackie · 3 years ago

Watch Al Franken's interview--he did a great job.

Deborah · 3 years ago

Robert,

The one thing I can guarantee you is that Colbert will ask you about something other than you expect.

Do you have any feuds with someone? Oh, maybe he'll ask you about Michael Moore. Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Ultimately, though, Mr. Colbert has got to appreciate what you're doing so just keep your sense of humor intact and you'll be fine.

My guess is that he'll ask you questions about this.

jeff palon · 3 years ago

I think you have more than enough here to help you score big. One simple thing you could do is respond to any obviously unanswerable question with "what I think a better question is . . ." you may also consider interupting him in the middle of a question by putting your finger to your ear (as if you have in-ear communications) holding up your other hand for him to stop speaking and saying something in Russian.

Rob · 3 years ago

Three words: Full frontal nudity.

Duncan · 3 years ago

The best advice I can give you is to always make it clear that you are "in on the joke." The primary way people come off looking like jackasses on that show or the Daily Show is by seeming to take their interview seriously. I'm not saying that you can't talk about serious issues. You can. Just be aware of the fact that you are going to be asked absurd questions that have little or nothing to do with your actual points.

Just have fun with it. If you try to make the interviewer get serious you'll fail. If you accept the situation and remain on the right side of the jokes, you'll come across as having a good sense of humor.

One more thing... speaking of a "sense of humor," DO NOT MAKE JOKES! You are sitting across from one of the best joke writers out there, so what you think is funny will just come across as lame. Go with his jokes, but for-the-love-of-god-and-all-that-is-holy-in-this-expansive-universe, DON'T MAKE YOUR OWN JOKES.

Good luck and have fun!
Duncan

p.s. - this deserves repeating... DON'T TRY TO MAKE JOKES!

Phoenix · 3 years ago

I just wanted to let you know that I forwarded this to my better half, the TV buff and I asked him to give you some ideas...he loves the Daily show and the Colbert Report so I think he will be of some help. I will ask him to get on it ASAP. Hope it helps! =) Break a Leg!!! Have some fun!!!

Tony Naro · 3 years ago

Here's what you do. Colbert likes to play the 'conservative guy' right. So what you do after his first 'conservative question', (such as 'Isn't Wal-Mart just one big happy family providing for their family members?' ) is you throw him off. Respond with something like 'One big happy family indeed! How could you not be happy with a crappy allowance that won't buy you grocceries, with a health care plan that amounts to your mom giving you a salt tablet for every ailment, and with a father who beats you everytime he catches you hanging around that kids from the 'bad grou'p', you know...those union propagandists!'

Don't answer with facts and advocacy. Answer by using the right wing's arguments which, when broken down as above, speak for your side plenty!

GOOD LUCK!

Tony

Eric Dinehart · 3 years ago

If you haven't already made one or two blooper reels of your own work, see if you can toss a couple 20-second compilations together. "Funny" will "sell" the underlying message on a TV show. Let the show know what you're bringing -- give it to them. They'll know what to do -- probably one before you come out and one as you leave. Laugh at yourself and Colbert will be on your side.

Nancy Slevin · 3 years ago

First of all if you have a son who watches Stephen Colbert"s show thank him profusely for exposing kids to politics in a way that sparks curiousity into the workings of the press and the Bush administration. Secondly, thank him for warning us all about Bears, he really fears them and I am glad he has warned all of us of their dangers. This fear is an excellent metaphor for the fear we have of the current administration and media. Please ask him to show more "old clips" of his rock star days. What a talent he is, the man is just out of this world. My husband goes to sleep every night listening to me laugh at this man.... he's and John Stewart are the only men who can make me laugh harder than my husband, I think he is jealous. ha!! Good Luck Robert, you will do fine.......

Andy Benton · 3 years ago

If I had the opportunity I would want to get the point over that I LOVE this country -- make the point over and over and over! And THAT'S why I get so upset when politicians/people use their power/position for their own purpose or for special interests and then try to make out they are doing something to help the American People or the Country (such as the reverse Robin Hood bill). That you're not some kind of liberal elitist, you just love this country, that's all, and you want to expose anyone who is not doing what is truly best for the American People and this Country. Good luck!!!

Alyson · 3 years ago

don't take it too seriously

william senge · 3 years ago

1. Ask Steven if he voted for W?
2. Make him tell you what party he is registered with.
3. Ask him if his brand of satire is helpful for kids who can't understand nuance and subtlty.
4. Ask him if he thinks Bush and Cheney are big fat liars.
5. Ask him about the Chickenhawks that voted for the war.
6. Ask him who he plans on voting for.
7. Ask him why he hates America.
8. Ask him how he can be so arrogant when he's only 35 years old.
9. tell him you demand respect from him.

Calen · 3 years ago

Stephen Colbert is not going to know what hit him. Like the old expression goes “Know Your Enemy”. With a little research, Stephen Colbert has been apart of some works that his ego might not want to have highlighted on-air. For example, Stephen Colbert was the voice of” Ace” from Saturday Night Lives’ cartoon “The Ambiguously Gay Dou”. If Stephen wants to talk about “W”, let him know you’re a little more interested in “Z”, Colbert was the voice of the letter Z in Sesame Streets: All-star Alphabet. If you can have a clip of that lined up to play if that situation arises itself, then I’m sure you could get a laugh out of it. Other than that, enjoy yourself and remember that your dignity will always be intact before and after the show, if you just be yourself, no one can take that away from you.

C. Huff

Tom H · 3 years ago

Robert: Colbert's m.o. seems to be to ask "Why do you hate/not support [fill in the blank]." Here are likely subjects for you:

Bill O'Reilly or "Papa Bear": Don't just say "because he's an idiot," which is what both Al Franken and Keith Olberman said. You might say that you don't respect O'Reilly because he is disrespectful. Also, mention that O'Reilly is a coward and will not go outside his comfort zone at FOX. For example, ask Colbert: "If you like Papa Bear so much, how come he hasn't been on your show?"

Our troops: This one's easy. "I love our troops. I want them all to come home and come over to my house for dinner."

American workers: As a shot at your Wal-Mart film, he might try to paint you as wanting to deny Americans jobs. Your response: "Steve, for every American you hire with an adequate benefits package, I'll hire one."

Chinese workers: Same response, just substitute Chinese for American.

Inevitably, Colbert will ask why you had to ask for help in preparing for his show. Simply say: "Because I respect you, Steve."

This isn't comprehensive. And you can throw out my comments and everyone else's (especially the ones about kissing up to him) because Colbert's people will have read all of these by the time you get there.

Ken Bowen · 3 years ago

Remember to get a plug in for the Bush Legacy:
1. War based on lies;
2. His VP shot a friend in the face;
3. His #1 spokesman, Rush Limbraugh, is a junkie.

SUEC716 · 3 years ago

Hi:
You have many great comments already. Bring him a gift card to WAL MART-See you don't hate America!

Promise him you will never do a movie about BEARS!

Tell him your next film is The Wit and Wisdom of George Bush!

He does a great O'Reilly--he's smart and quick but don't be afriad to sass him right back--he loves it.

ENJOY!

James · 3 years ago

Don' t be looking for laughs. Colbert will take care of all that.

I'm cringing at all the costume suggestions, do not do any of those, just be yourself. In fact, I'd advise against using any of the specific ideas being posted here. Just be yourself, please.

Don't worry, he's a good interviewer. He'll ask you about your work. You've obviously got plenty to say, just answer his questions. Simple as that, really. It will be informative and entertaining. Congrats!

Just please remember that there is really no reason to be nervous. Be cool.

Paul Sargia · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

Just be yourself on the show. You have so much integrity that all you need to do is answer his questions honestly and he'll pull the humor out. His humor tends to boomerang on him (his venerable news anchor caracature) and be elevatious (new word) to the guest - you. So, just go with it and smile accordingly at the right intervals.

My best regards,
Paul Sargia

iamthinker! · 3 years ago

Dead level abstraction.

wendy simonds · 3 years ago

i'm jealous of you. i love stephen colbert and would love to sit across that table from him.

most important, when you're presenting substantive issues be able to do this in a way that shows you can make them funny -- be sarcastic especially. but remember his goal is not to present substantive issues, but to lambaste the right by behaving like a rightwing lunatic. so if you do the same, it adds to his humor. ask him questions like he asks guests: walmart: great company or the greatest company ever?

he likes when people respond to his egomaniac shtick w/ praise of him, so i think the advice above to attempt to coopt this aspect of the show wouldn't work so much as going overboard with it yourself.
-wendy

E · 3 years ago

The Colbert Report didnt start out with a right wing agenda, but slowly over time Steven started making positive and supportive remarks about O'Reilly and even some of the stupid things our president does. The only suggestion I have now is to beat him at his own game on his own show. Steven has said many times that he is not a fan of the facts which is true with all the B.S. that comes out of his mouth. He's a more absurd version of Bill O'Reilly, but atleast he admits hes not a fan of the facts. The democrats lost the last presidential election when they were talking the facts so my suggestion is to go beyond just talking facts but come up with some twisted logic to counter act his twisted logic that he always brings to his show. I love using twisted logic on people everyday and it can really piss people off badly because it can shake the very fabric of their beliefs or facts of their life. Some example are like when it comes to business I came up with something I called my "George W. Bush logic" This is the absurd way to improve the economy and that is this. "To prevent forest fires we need to increase logging in our national parks and forests. This logging will not only detract from forest fires but also create jobs."
Twisted logic on suicide bombers those jihad types. When I heard that these people are going to be comminting suicide bombing so they can go to heaven with virgins, you have to ask yourself honestly "how many women dies as virgins to be in heaven"? What do you have the 10 year old girl that dies in a car accident or the 80 year old nun? Its says that there are virgins in heaven but does it say what these virgins look like?
I honestly dont know how much it will matter of how many facts you say but how you spontaniouslly counter Stevens twisted logic on things.I hope my examples of twisted logic will be of some benefit to you.Perhaps having a drink before going on the show will help loosin ya up. Best of luck :)

DA · 3 years ago

Don't all of you think that Colbert's research team is reading this blog? I'd be careful about kissing up to him too much...

Adam Garrett-Clark · 3 years ago

Colbert's schtick is that he is a mock O'Rielly, whom he refers to as "Papa Bear." In my opinion, his interviews are one of the weakest elements of his show. He falls out of character and laughs and often can't think of something funny to say and resorts to things that will always get a laugh like asking you, "then why do you hate america?" You most likely will get asked this, so you should come up with a clever answer for it. He's asked this to every liberal on the show and I haven't seen a good answer yet. You will also get asked why you hate "Papa Bear" (O'reilly)

Guests ussually do well to play along with the premise and take his exagerated right wing stances at face value. He doesn't take much control of the interview, so don't sit back and wait for him to set you up for jokes. You'll need to be an active participant in the conversation. Perhaps you should almost treat this interaction as you interviewing him. That would be funny. Really turn the tables on him. What if you assumed he really was an ORielly foot soldiar and you used your arsenal against OReilly against him. Really take him to task on his mock stance. Imagine you are going on the OReilly factor. Because that really is what his show is modeled after. That would make a really memorable show if you did that because he will respond to that as an O'Reilly on steroids and he seems to really have that character down.

Remember he is Canadian, and he is really afraid of Bears. Maybe you can use that info to your advantage. Sorry I don't have actual material for you, hope I helped though.

John Rapp · 3 years ago

Bring your lawyer with you on stage. Every time Stephen asks some ridiculous question, insist that you must consult with your lawyer before answering. That'd be pretty hilarious.

Also, I've never seen anyone go along with his tongue-in-cheek questions. For instance, he's obviously joking when he says something like, "Why do you hate our troops?" So why not keep the joke going, with something like, "I hate our troops because they like to squash bugs. I like bugs. They're good for you. If you're gonna squash 'em, you might as well eat 'em. Bugs are quite nutritous, Stephen..." Blah, blah, blah, etc.

I think that'd be pretty funny, really. Take a serious tone right back at him, but say things that are so over-the-top ridiculous that they dwarf the absurdity of his statments.

But mix that with a healthy dose of what you really believe. Step back and say, "No, but seriously..." then go into what you really think about the issues.

Just do things that are bizarre/strange to offset him. I think it'll make you more comfortable, and not the one being laughed at. Or at least, not the only one.

Good luck!

J J · 3 years ago

Robert,
You are right to be afraid. I would go in with the idea of accepting defeat before the show even begins. Stephen Colbert has been right on every issue. Obviously "uncovered" has been shown to have grave shortcomings. Our President stands as a paragon of forsight, planning and brilliance in seeing positive consequences of his actions in office. You need to simply apologize for being wrong on this one.

Obviously he has fashioned his show after the brilliant Bill O'Reilly, so he understands how a successful TV News Talk Show should be run. He is building success on the shoulders of a moral Giant. Again, you need to simply admit that you are wrong. Your son will respect you for your honesty.

Wal~Mart and Tom Delay? Well success speaks for itself. Why would you want to be on the opposite end of crushing power. Stephen Colbert recognizes greatness when he sees it and calls it right. Again same advice.

Your shows, though well done, fly in the face of power, money and Truthiness. I would come right out and just say you did it only for the money. Stephen would respect that and so does America. Show your wealth when you come on the show. Arrive in a Limo, have models escort you in. Americans can recognize real success with just a hint of the trappings. Stephen will embrace another great american who is only in it for the money.

BTW Thanks for your Documentaries! I own them all.

Dave G · 3 years ago

First of all, I have never seen a picture of you but "Men with Beards" are dead to him, so if you have one be prepared for a comment on that.

Second, its been stated here already that Stephen has an ongoing inside joke aboout bears yet there are 2 things that dont sit right about that

1) he calls Bill O'Reilly his mentor and affectionatly refers to him as "Papa BEAR"

2) his name is practically Stephen ColBEAR, if he was so scared why wouldn't he pronouce the "T"? too much French pride perhaps? let him know hes a coward.

Also, Hey Stephan I know you might read this and I love your show and I love what you are doing for this country. If the viewers are HEROS then you sir are a PATRIOT

Mark Burnet · 3 years ago

Your best tact is to tell him you are an undercover Right winger out to expose the tactics of the left winged agenda. You also hunt bears with a shotgun loaded only with bird shot in order to overcome your deep fear of them.

ItalysBadBoy · 3 years ago

I like the idea of out doing Stephen by emulating him. OK, we all know that Stephen's best debater is himself, but this could be the next best thing. If the conversation turns to fighting terrorism, you could point out to Stephen that the president was way ahead of everyone by "fighting the terrorist over there". Example, when Bush OK'ed the flights out of the US of the Bin Laden family immediately after 9/11.

You could point out that Bush is a visionary and a brilliant organizer. His comment "bring 'em on" has turned out to be a remarkably true.

Finally if you want to tug at the hearts of America you can reminisce about our innocents lost by remembering how our government used to give use such items as the dollar coin that looked to most people like a quarter, or when they gave us the two dollar bill.

Oh how I miss those youthful carefree days.

IBB

BonnieD · 3 years ago

Yeah! Get out there and get your/our message out. I'm delighted you have been invited, and know you will digest the relevant from the input here and from your own experience and be well-prepared.

You will have an army at your back. I am very grateful you took the opportunity to get progressive ideas aired where they are often stifled.

Bryan · 3 years ago

Stroke his ego. then stroke it again.

Prepare for questions with the false assumptions! He loves these. Every interview has at least 3 or 4 questions like the following:

Q: "When did you start hating children?"

(suggested answer)

A: " I don't hate children. Having been a dedicated Colbert Nation member for somethime, I regard you as the ultimate interviewer. So when did you start asking bad questions?"

What ever you do -- DO NOT TRY TO OUT FUNNY HIM, OR BE FUNNY.

Carl Coleman · 3 years ago

You got a lot of of good feedback. F.Y.I.: I never watch the show, for more than 5 minutes, and that's only because 'it came on in front of me, so, yes a lot DON'T watch the show. Also, it's a big downer from "Stewart." My suggestion: send me...I'll lead him on as long as I can w/ naivete', then say," Colbert? I thought this was Al JazeeraNews."

Bob Leonard · 3 years ago

Robert,

Just keep hammering away at the Bush (both Senior and W) connection to Ken Lay and Enron.
- the Valentine Video both Sr. and W taped at the behest of Ken Lay
- GW's refusal to assist Gray Davis during the California blackouts in January of 2001(when the state was only using 40% - 50% of peak demand
- The FACT that the Bush White House has still not allowed anyone to see who sat on Cheney's 2001 Energy Commission (it WAS stacked with Lay and other Enron principals)...


You MUST expose these arrogant bastards for what they are, we are ALL depending on you!!

rose-marie · 3 years ago

People don't know anymore how to think for themselves....simple as that.......This is a nation of sheep and we are getting fucked in the ass.....

bruce · 3 years ago

the bit from allison is hysterical. dead-on.

B. Radka · 3 years ago

Just answer everything by saying: "it's 91". When he asks you what the hell you are talking about, just answer: "what is GWB's IQ". (this is, by the way, the truth).

storiesinamerica · 3 years ago

The Colbert Report is just brilliant. The problem is, many of his guests, including lefties, haven't done their homework and end up flopping.

You should wear one of those "How May I Help You" blue Wal-Mart vests. And definitely wear the frowning face yellow pin.

Colbert will ask you why you hate American workers? After all, Wal-Mart employs hundreds of thousands of American workers. Why do you want to drive the world's richest company into the ground?

Tell him it's a secret ploy. You are secretly addicted to shopping at Wal-Mart. "I've always been jealous of people who make $5 billion (Wal-Mart's owners) and pay their workers horrible wages. I don't think Wal-Mart workers deserve to work full-time so they can receive healthcare. The states should pay for it (cite these stats)."

Then pull out an item made in China: "I got this at Wal-Mart for the low price of $4.99. To think that a young girl in China made only 5 cents for making 10 of these (cite stats) makes me so proud to be a Capitalist. This is the future of America! You might be surprised to hear this, Stephen, but I truly love Wal-Mart. I know I sometimes get carried away with my films, but my ultimate goal is to get those whack job lefties to shop at Wal-Mart, the happiest place on earth. I also hope Wal-Marts continue to spread across America. Who needs mom and pops? They've never been true patriots."

Play his game and you'll be great! Don't defend your film or he'll smear you.

Tom Law · 3 years ago

Know that he will try and destroy your credibility as he did with Arianna Huffington. He made her seem like a 'furriner' idiot nobody on that show. I'm a big fan of Arianna and that show left me hating Colbert. If you think that murdering 2600 americans and 100,000 Iraqis is funny, then go on his show and play along. What's happening in the world right now is deadly serious, and 'funny guy smartasses' like Colbert just trivialize the carnage as democracy dies and corporations kill. Colbert has a much different tone than Stewart, who can't mask the fact that he cares about what's going on and he's pissed and disgusted. Colbert is just an opportunistic sociopath, looking to elevate his platform when he can then truly profess his pro-corporate rightwing thoughts more directly like Dennis Miller. You do our cause a disservice by being on Colbert's show. Hold out for Stewart, and don't forget that Comedy Central is Viacomm, an interested partner in the grand theft of democracy in the world. Later

HJ Wizell · 3 years ago

wear that flag pin, it's your flag too. wrap yourself in what the flag really means with regards to freedom of expression and understand the people Steven Colbert so brilliantly mocks, has exactly the opposite in mind for the rest of us.

Margaret Strachan · 3 years ago

I am a Democrat in my early sixties, well out of the Comedy Channel's demographic but I am a great fan of the Colbert Report. He has a #1 show for me, over the Daily Show which I also watch.
Just be yourself, and tell the TRUTH, (Stephen Colbert invented the word TRUTHINESS!) Enjoy the experience and that will show. Guests who look uncomfortable always look the most foolish.
Good luck, I'm looking forward to seeing it,
Margaret Strachan, Thousand Oaks, CA.

Gloria · 3 years ago

Don't under for any reason try to be funny.

This is the kiss of death.

neilemac · 3 years ago

Best advice I've ever rec'd came in five words:
"Fear reverses all intelligent processes." (Leland Powers from his text "principles of expression."

It was obvious to me Robert that you're capable of going beyond fear when I first witnessed 'outfoxed.org.' Have blogged about you and yours several times. Maintain your cool, carress Colbert's ego and ask him the same pertinent questions you ask your typical American audience. I'd love to see you fluster that master of irony. Break a leg!
neilemac

daryl Wise · 3 years ago

STAY ON TARGET. Bring speaking points and facts.

Do a run through on video first.

Leif · 3 years ago

When Stephen insinuates you are Un-American; pretend you are the only two people in the room. Tell him how rich you have become manipulating the foolish, tree hugging, and liberal elite into buying your videos. Then let him in on your secret, “Stephen. All profits are funneled directly to Carl Rove and company.” Flash back to reality, imply that Stephen is actually your ally and ask that your confession be edited out. One must protect one’s base from the truth. Just like the almighty does, the President himself. PS Keep up the good work. Remember, Stephen is on Stephen's side.

Meg · 3 years ago

If you can somehow show that Walmart supports bears (not likely) or bear attacks, then you might just win over Stephen!

L. Hillemann · 3 years ago

This is great! You've already gotten really good advice on bears, the bear/Papa bear contradiction, the layered mask/disabilities gimmic (love that one) and the 40-year old virgin. One thing I've observed is that he appreciates a guest who can zing him right back. If you can crack him up (nail him), you've scored.

I don't know which of your films you'll be focusing on but if you do Outfoxed, I'd turn the tables on him and go after CNN or NPR as bastions of conservatism. No one will expect that. (Colbert does Lou Dobbs too, by the way. Or maybe Lou Dobbs does Colbert. In a recent commercial about pursuing the truth, Dobbs sounds very Colberian to me.)

You might also print off this list and give it to him. I've been laughing out loud at some of the suggestions (my dogs are wondering what I'm up to). What fun! Good luck - no pressure here but I've got it TiVo'd.

Bret · 3 years ago

RG: Yes, Colbert is a pro at improvisation comedy. Thats his history. Yes, he is playing a character. This character is the Right wing Republican TV host. Thats his thing. On your end - dont try to do improv, hes been doing it for 20 years. Start with something to offer- "My son loves your show and thought I should come on the show". Just listen and follow his lead. He'll bring the funny, just relax, and play the straight guy. Some points beyond being funny: Remind people watching that you mostly do docu's showing the Amercian people. Its about them. Its about the little guy getting crushed. When the people in that CA town got together to stop a Walmart, they did so on their own because they knew what would happen.Mention them - remind the people that youre for the people- and bring some names- Our president is not smart enough to remember specific names without a prompter- but I bet you are. Good luck.

Maya · 3 years ago

Remember that SC is both a liberal and a satirist. He's on your side! Be funny, be self-effacing, and remember that the WHOLE show is about fluffing is character's ego, so just flatter the crap out of his character in the funniest way you can think of and he'll go easy on you.

Do some research - watch Ariana Huffington's interview - I think she did a fantastic job! The one with Anderson Cooper was pretty good, too.

Liz P. · 3 years ago

Being on the Colberrrr Reporrr is just like being on O'Reilly's Show--- only fake. So, expect him to be in his "fake Bill O'Reilly" persona and answer as if he were O'Reilly. Of course they are going to read your blog before you go on, so they will probably mock all the advice we are giving you! So you'd better ignore it all.

Liz P. Illinois

Tom · 3 years ago

Watch the Arianna Huffington interview. She kept her dignity, and made him seem moe teh buffon his character is. Remember it isn't Steve Colbert you are talking to, it's his character. You'll do great, wish I could afford cable.

Ventura · 3 years ago

Watch the interview he did with Dermot Mulroney.

Dermot kicked his ass. It's really really funny.

The secret seems to be changing directions. Guests that respond in ways that he doesn't expect, with humor of course, seem to throw him sometimes.

Marko · 3 years ago

There is no such thing as reality only perception. Imagine, visualize, and feel the feelings you'd love to have regarding this show. Confidence, conviction, wit, humor etc.
Do this daily as part of your other prep work.

Judy Wade · 3 years ago

Along with the little American flag pin that I'm sure you'll wear, be sure to wear a little grizzly bear lapel pin.

Frederick Royce Perez · 3 years ago

Watch Al Franken and learn . That should place you on more equal footing with the lion of Comedy Central . Frederick

nick vanderborgh · 3 years ago

Energy: Obviously Bush-co invaded the ME to keep China out of our oil. Question is, is there any oil there to protect. Get some data from www.simmonsco-intl.com/files/Kansas%20City%20Ch.... I suspect if you add up all the IQs of the Bush staff, you can sum to 100. We are paying like $80/bbl of DOD funds to get one barrel to the US. This is just money down the drain. We will have a US tank fleet in Qutar with no fuel. A sad, cruel joke on all of us. What money we have left, we need to use now to learn alternative energy technology.
Immigration: We as children of democracy really believe in human rights—that is what our Constitution is about. That is what our long string of patriots have died for. The Constitution does not say that we have rights. It says, "Congress shall make no law" the government does not have the right ot oppress. That restriction is for all humans, Including people who are not citizens. Everybody needs a minimum wage, health care, education, retirement. All humans need to be treated humanly.
Same Sex Marriage: Our founding fathers used the Constitution to expand human rights. We have no intention of sticking "prohibition" into our legal codes. The only law I would support would say this: "It is illegal to force two people of the same sex to become married, as it is illegal to force two people of the oppositve sex to become married against their will." We need more FREEDOM. Take the high ground.
Elections: With modern computer techology, voter fraud is ever easier. We need to work hard to stop that. Elections do not need to be quick. they just need to be fair. Paper ballots can be counted. Accurate is better than fast. We need to crimiminalize voter fraud. There should be a new class of monetary fines for "crimes against the democracy": TAV fines, that is total asset value fines. When guilty, the judge gets a list of all assets: property, investments, cash and fines 25%, 50%, or 100% of the TAV. I would think 5-10 years of such a system, would solve the voter fraud problem.

rich · 3 years ago

ANSWER HIS QUESTION WITH A QUESTION.
PRACTICE LOOKING "HURT".
DON'T ARGUE, JUST SMILE.

BE YOURSELF.

cherie · 3 years ago

I have been a fan of Colbert for years. His humor is so sarcastic, no one knows what to think of him. He is brilliant at exposing the deceptions of this administration while appearing to support it.

Chris McKeever · 3 years ago

He will ask "In your opinion, is George W Bush a great president.....(pause)...or the greatest president?
He will probably ask why you're out to hurt the troops(tongue firmly in cheek).
He will twist something you say, restate it with the comment "your words, not mine.
Enjoy the show, he is funny, and he is on the side of the good guys, although he doesn' "play one on TV".

JanePetyk · 3 years ago

Keep in mind during your interview that Stephen is a professional idiot (his description, not mine).

If you make just one salient point during the short time you're allotted, it'll be great. For the rest of the time, just have fun with him.

Michele McBride · 3 years ago

As a student and audience member of The Colbert Report my advice is be prepared for snappy answers to his hard-hitting questions. When he asks you why you hate freedom (A sure bet) Be sure to tell him you've never been a fan. Hit him with his own idea that you are big on truth but, unlike him, also big on Facts....stick to your "truthiness" and you should be fine....the worst thing is to answer honestly or take more than six words in your response. Good luck and i'll be cheering for you.

Uke Man · 3 years ago

Here are a few snappy comebacks (smile when you say them, Pardner!):

Well, I was sent on this mission by God.

Everyday Low Wages at Wal-Mart.

The Pentagon paid quite a bit for that Hammer!

You don't think I [that] was Fair and Balanced?

I too want to make the pie higher!

I'm sorry. My mind was Roving.

Maybe I need some of Neil's educational software.

Break a leg - Uke Man

Charlie K · 3 years ago

Robert,
Your network abounds with good will- so first, as a spiritual believer, ask everyone to put out an intention or aspiration that your charisma and message shine that night.... it will help.

Second, as has been mentioned, Colbert is a sympathetic parody of a right-winger so you are in friendly hands. Yes he's sharp-witted... ergo his show... but ...

"you are a true patriot of the american spirit of justice and liberty. You love America but are disturbed about how it has had its citizens taken advantage of by the controlling interests of corporations like WalMart and others who's motives are greed and power over justice and freedom. Why is it that the greatest nation in the world cannot take care of our own? How is it that we can somehow produce billions of dollars to fight a war in another country and not find funds enough to protect and serve, to educate and feed, to provide a health and human service to our own citizens? This is why you fight... this is why you make the movies you make and try to tell the people the truth. Isn't that why you got started Stephen, Isn't that why you started this great show?


that'll get him Robert... you look good, he looks good... we look good....

take an evening to re-screen Achbar's the Corporation before you get on... it will refresh your mind of many good points.

Review Kalle Lasn's Culture Jam ppgs 65-84 for great anticdotes ...

Even though Lakoff says you can't win hearts and minds with facts once they've been framed with convictions... I believe if you select a couple points to drive home, and wrap them in a warm fuzzy good for you, good for me, good for us... frame of patrotism and morality... you've one-upped them. Go for it !

The country is ready to hear from people who talk of Exxon's record profits, while the pump price is above $2.50 a gal... of scandal with DeLay and his oil connections... and of Russ Feingold stepping up for what he believes.

never a better time to be on Colbert's show.

you'll do fine.

Charlie

sujeet · 3 years ago

Well, I think Colbert's best quality as a TV host of a satirical news show is this:


HE NEVER BREAKS CHARACTER. EVER.


He really is unparalleled when it comes to delivering a ridiculously sarcastic line with an eerily straight face. That said, if I were going on the show, this is what I would keep in mind:


Don't try to be funny. (Unless of course you are naturally hilarious.) I think the biggest mistake people make when confronted with comics or funny people in general is when they try to elevate their own humor to complement the other's. It seldom works and the person trying just comes out looking foolish more often than not.


Colbert will definitely give you ample opportunity to make your point, so as long as you do so concisely and cogently, his sarcasm and humor will only enhance the overall effect.


In terms of what points to get across--avoid the buckshot, all-over-the-place standard answers and really focus on a couple issues that are good proxies for larger (often disturbing) themes.


I think a quick reference to the films BNF has done in the past and some of the most impressive results from BNF's work should come early. Then I would focus on the most recent project. Specifically, what about BNF's work on the Wal-Mart and Delay films stands out as unique or different from the standard news everyone can read in the paper?


As cliche as it sounds, just relax and try to have fun and everything will flow naturally!


Good luck!

Kevin O'Driscoll · 3 years ago

Dear Robert:
Congratulations! I am a huge political comedy nut, and indeed a performer, actor and comic. I don't however watch Colbert often. Appearing live on TV can be a disaster if you are not ready. I have appeared on TV news on several occasions as well as various acting roles. The Colbert Report is satire, it is their job to be funny, so RULE #1 DON"T TRY TO BE FUNNY. Be the straight main to Colbert and he will make you funny. Video is very revealing, be sure to wear pressed clothing with muted colors and to have your hair and makeup done professionally on set. RULE #2 LOOK GOOD. You don't want to come off uptight or nervous, and this the camera is VERY perceptive. RULE 3# GO ON RELAXED AND ENJOY YOURSELF. (if this requires scotch, beta-blockers or Xanex you won't be the first one). Finally, STICK TO YOUR TALKING POINTS!!!! GOOD LUCK
Best
KEvin O'Driscoll

Nancy · 3 years ago

When he goes for Pres Bush great or greatest, tell the truth - that there are far more important issues than Bush's greatness rating, but that's so typical of the trivia that news people like to spend time on. Since you don't have the luxury of only having to sing to the choir and need to get some real work done you would rather discuss (then mention any serious topic you are working on.) You find it sad that most of the time that the truth is told it's incased in a joke.

Then place your hand over your jugular for protection!

Cause like so many said above, the point of the show is to feed Colbert's insatiable ego. Like John Wayne fighting in WWII (only in movies - got out of going), he gives the impression that he believes what he is doing is actually real, cause he would never have the guts to do it really, unlike you. Keep in mind, you going on his show is a piece of cake. Him having to be in one of your movies would be a truly frightening experience. Colbert has only politicized the Don Rickles act. It's only funny the first few times and then it gets old fast. Even Stewart gets old and he actually has some info, unless one belongs to the group that doesn't see the humor and irony in the news till Jon Stewart points it out.

So either decide to compete (my take) and make sure you win or let him have his little self fulfilling fun and go there with the plan to blah, blah, blah and then squeeze in one itsy bitsy point cause that's all you'll get.

Maybe someday people will wise up and not volunteer to be punching bags for people and make them get their own material. Hey, lots of people thought Don Rickels ripping people apart was funny. So be it.

Carolyn · 3 years ago

Oh please! You're a grown up. Think up your own stuff.

Patrick Keyes · 3 years ago

Be serious. Talk about mininim wage. When he says that we should do away with it don't go along with it. Also be ready for why you hate our troops.

Chris Rodman · 3 years ago

Have your PR person send over a document listing your backstage demands similar to the one The Smoking Gun just acquired from one of Cheney’s people called “Vice Presidents Downtime Requirements”. Have the participants from this blog start submitting their ideas and include the most outrages ones. Be ready with a quick witted comment if he takes the hook and asks you about it. If he does not bring it up then demand why your needs were not meet -- why is his staff treating you so badly…….ask “Stephen, why do you hate me so?”

People -- send in your ideas for Robert’s backstage demands!!

Good luck and have fun.

Gabe · 3 years ago

It's kind of staggering to see people who think that Colbert is anything but a kick in the balls satire of everything that was displayed in Outfoxed. I'm a huge fan of the show but I do find the interview segments the weakest part of an incredibly strong show. Many guests are intimidated by having to be interviewed by a comedian playing a character.

The easiest way to survive is rely on charisma. The insanely charismatic, albeit loony, Al Sharpton faired excellently cause the snarky jabs that Colbert’s character pulled bounced right off him. But few of us are Al Sharpton. Don't do what a lot of the media personalities do and act like that you're in on the joke by mentioning in jokes or try to be buddy buddy with Steven. Which ends up making the interviewee look all the more worthy of mockery. The best way to come off unscathed
and to get your message across the best, would be a fundamental understanding of the character Colbert plays. Steven did a wonderful out of character interview at the onion a.v. club that I recommend you glancing over here:
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/44705

Remember that the heart and soul of Colbert's character is that despite the fact he’s ignorant and pompus in his heart of hearts he's a sweet guy thinking he is doing the wrong thing. Al Franken understood this but he’s a comedian whose able to riff back and forth with Stephen. Be inspired of the infinite patience of Lisa Simpson whenever she calmly attempts to get her father to do the right thing.

Good luck! You’ll need it!

sarah · 3 years ago

I have no idea who Colbert is, but I really like reading this blog--it's hilarious. Good luck and thanks for all your hard work.

Alvin Dungan · 3 years ago

Just tell the truth. That never hurt anyone except those who have made it a practice to lie. It has been said "The truth shall set you free." Isn't it about time someone takes the bull by the horns and just does that?

Ellie · 3 years ago

Remember that Colbert is ON YOUR SIDE. A couple of posters have demonstrated that they don't understand that, that they don't "get it" that his show is brilliant satire. The most successful guests I've seen on his show are the ones who understand the complicated joke they're participating in, and simply maintain a winning sense of humor and willingness to laugh. You'll have brief spaces to make your various points, which he'll allow you to do, so make sure you have several short, solid "sound-bites" ready.

doug dillon · 3 years ago

Mr. Colbert is most affable with those he finds some kindred spirit with.
you might open with " Others have warned me that this might be difficult or career ending, but I find you to be a hypnotically fascinating hot hunk of burning man love."
When China is brought about as it inevitably will just lean in and smile while bringing him into your inner circle and answer " The chinese have contributed many thing in our own culture not to mention cheap restaurants and hard working inexpensive household laborers."
If the questions become too probing try the old "in bed" addition at rephrasing his original question. " Did you find it humiliating being slammed by Bill O'Reilly, in bed?"
Using any one of these 'tips' should bring a smile to the Colbert visage and an instant commaraderie between you.
One last tip, you might commiserate with him on how hard it must have been to have carried Jon Stewart on his coattails all those years.

Tom · 3 years ago

To put it in words you can relate to as a filmmaker, Stephen Colbert is an actor who is playing a role. The entire Colbert Report is a satire of Bill O'Reilly's top rated cable show (God forbid). Even the graphics are a parody.Remember, this is the COMEDY Channel.

I don't think I've seriously seen anyone walk away scarred from appearing on the show. I'm sure there are some, maybe your 13-year-old and eveny many adults, who think the show is legit. But it's not and it's all in good fun. He'll give you the chance to make him look like an idiot, therefore making O'Reilly look like one too.

I'll be watching. Have fun and approach it with tongue in cheek.

Marychris Mass · 3 years ago

I think the fawning and playing into his "vanity" is the key - ask him if he bought his suit in the new designer section at Wal-Mart....

Caren · 3 years ago

Politicians are famous for answering questions, with questions. In my years of experience, it best to answer very assertively.
Him, "So, why would you attack an enormous source of employeement for lesser skilled working class people?"
You would say, "Why would WalMart cause me to? After all," a very easy going demeanor at this point will defuse Whatshisname, "I am not alone. There are *#* who made and associated with the making of this film. Not to mention those that probably lost there jobs in cooperating with us." In just those few sentences, You you have redirected him away from attacking you, focused the viewers on the 1000s victimized by the topic at hand, AND created sympathy, if not ignited a defense for those who, 'lost their jobs.'
Contact me if you need to. Political talk shows are usually jr. high school level manipulations where the pack leaders, Rush, Sean, whoever gain in ego. Observe outside the box and by all means, grow duck feathers so whatever they throw at you, flows off the back. Keeping your personnal feelings in check are the biggest. As you SHOULD OF noted, the 1st question, made you defensive...... Caren

Robin Davey · 3 years ago

The book called "don't think of an elephant" by George Lakoff gives wonderful advice about how to talk with people of the republican persuasion.
In a nutshell, never NEVER USE THE LANGUAGE THEY USE because that allows them to frame the discussion THEIR way. For example, if you use a term of theirs such as "tax relief", that makes "tax" seem like an affliction, and makes it seem as if the Republicans are offering "relief " from that affliction. Instead, talk about the issues from the perspective of democratic/liberal values, and refuse to be drawn into the republicans' worldview, or put yourself on the defense against their accusations.
The book is quite slim, so you could go through it quickly if you want to. Best of luck and THANKS!

Tom · 3 years ago

You could always quote Cheney (on the Senate floor) "GFY". He's got a big enough ego to try it.

mark · 3 years ago

ROBERT

WEAR HUNTING CAMO AND AN ORANGE VEST-RIG THE VEST WITH LIGHTS_IF HE ASKS WHY THE LIGHTS _REPLY-SO OTHER HUNTERS CAN SEE ME FROM A DISTANCE


Good luck and happy hunting

mike · 3 years ago

While the idea of this blog is funny, I beg you to remember that this is a comedy show and the central joke is on and by Colbert himself. By wildly caricaturing right leaning thinking, he is scoring huge and great points for the left, deliberately. This is not the Bill O Reilly show with laughs. Don't overthink it, follow his lead, don't try to be too funny (that always indicates nerves) And play up your shared concern for the little guy. Enjoy yourself.

Asher · 3 years ago

My advice is the same as if one is in a nightclub picking up people: everything they say is amusing and you don't take it too seriously. Everything is light. You are who you are and aren't easily ruffled. Keep it in your frame and come from your beliefs and viewpoints. He'll help you and your viewpoint look good with comedy, but you have to let him play Bill O'Reilly.

Another suggestion is to take an Improv class. It may be too late to get fully trained in Improv, but a one day class could at least give you the basics. There's a good book called IMPROVISE by Mick Napier, which can be got at Samuel French on Sunset. One basic tenent of Improv is, help your fellow Improv-er look good. You help Colbert look good, that's what he needs from you. Make him look smart and funny and it doesn't have to be at your expense.

Peachy · 3 years ago

What's to worry about such a short appearance what with all this top advice to choose from? If cornered, try lying. Ask him if he remembers how close the two of you were in high school and mention some of the things you did together. Tell him you've always wanted to meet the host of The Daily Show. Be a faux friend.

David Silberman · 3 years ago

Hi,

I would pursue the ultra-Imperialist angle: Go on about how you really feel that monopolies and tyranny is good for your business or that you own a ton of Wal-Mart stock and want controversies to drive the price up, unfortunately, like all neocon plots, it's backfiring.

Colbert mocks the Right by pretending to be that way, so go along.

Suzette Rewnick · 3 years ago

Give him a Teddy Colbear for a gift. Hey, He is our asshole! He is our Bill, go with the flow and just gaze into those beautiful eyes and slightly crooked ear, stare at it. Suze

Janet Gari · 3 years ago

The only person I saw who actually broke up Colbert was Frank McCourt. Watch that show. Ask him why he uses his mother's name (Claudette Colbert) just because she was a famous actress?(No, she's not his mother) My father, Eddie Cantor, was one of the outstanding fighting liberals of his day. He was insulted that he was never called up by McCarthy's bunch, but we told him it was because he sang too many George M. Cohan songs.

AnAmerican · 3 years ago

Don't try to outfunny him, and don't tell him you emailed bombed the world in preparation.

And that's the word.

jeff palon · 3 years ago

aslightly different version of an above comment:

Q:GW great or greatest . . .?

A:Great-ass

Suzette Rewnick · 3 years ago

Give him a Teddy Colbear for a gift. Hey, He is our jerk! He is our Bill, go with the flow and just gaze into those beautiful eyes and slightly crooked ear, stare at it. Suze

ventura · 3 years ago

Don't get me wrong. I love colbert's show, but when he bows to the audience, he seems to love flashing his butt at his guest.

I've got a set of Nerf Blow darts. It's a blow tube with Nerf darts that have suction cups.

Just once, I'd like someone to shoot him in the ass during the applause.

Liz Robiison · 3 years ago

Remember to flatter him. Remember to use his truthiness against him. Remember he doesn't want you to clutter things up with facts but get them in. He is from a big family so empathize with that. If all fails bring a bear with you.

Frank · 3 years ago

I can only come up with a suggestion that will embarrass your son. When Colbert announces you & is about to do his premature victory lap high-fiving with the audience, you should beat him to it & high-five the audience as you run toward him.

Breeze · 3 years ago

Here's a few interesting articles from the New Yorker. I think the big thing to remember is, unlike Bill O'Reilly, Colbert is playing a character. As NICHOLAS LEMANN puts it, "Like O’Reilly, Colbert has guests, but he often uses his fake right-wing persona to score points for the left, as he did last week when he pretended to grill Keith Olbermann for his attacks on O’Reilly." Look at his cadence and you will see you won't get a word in edgewise if he doesn't want you to.
Good Luck

http://www.newyorker.com/critics/content/articl...

http://www.newyorker.com/talk/content/articles/...

Scott W. Baker · 3 years ago

Remember the purpose of the show, taking real news and twisting it around to make it funny or merely pointing out the self-satirical elements in the real news. Stephen's job is to be funny. You are the news he is going to work with. Be the news. HAVE some news. Tell people about a movie you want them to buy (and where to go to buy it). Encourage people to question their government. DO NOT try to upstage Stephen. If he wanted to interview a fellow comedian, he'd have Carrot Top on. He invited YOU so bring YOURSELF. The best advice I've heard has been to have some sound-bites ready to go. He's going to come at you quick and leave little time to react, so have short, catchy things to say. You might wear a bear lapel pin to let people know you get the show, but don't make silly bear comments.




Possible replies to Cobert gotcha questions:







Colbert: Bush: great or greatest president.





Greenwald: Greatest president Saudi oil money can buy.




Colbert: Why do you hate America:





Greenwald: I'll tell you why, Stephen. They only had two hit songs and one was about wandering in the desert, no one in their right might would go into the desert, ill-equipped, unprepared, and without an effective plan to get out.





One more thing: If your 13-year-old son is cool and smart enough to like Colbert, he's cool and smart enough to give you advice. Maybe you should ask your son to help you with your next movie too. Make him a star. How about a documentary not on our school system, but the "Cool" system (What IS "cool"? Who is working behind the scenes to tell us what cool is? An expose on the people who manufacture "coolness" with focus groups and covert marketing strategies. How far has it gone? Is it just about boy bands, soft drinks and Lunchables, or do they set their sights on political coolness too?) I'd be glad to help with that movie.

Erik Tkal · 3 years ago

Just relax, don't make any untrue or disputable statements, and tell it like it is. This is your opportunity to point out hypocrisy and shadiness to the world!! Have at it!! And have fun!!

Daniel · 3 years ago

You must remember that he is not serious, that you are participating in a joke. As long as you understand and don't get flustered you should be ok.

That being said his signature question is George W. Bush great president or greatest president?

I would answer or for that question. Or make some sort of joke about how bush is a great president of student council. Making stephen laughed it good as it will throw him off his game and he will generally improvise and the questions will be easier.

He will ask you some question about why you hate america, or isn't whats good for wal-mart good for america?


I'd make a list of your talking points, the points you most want to get across, and don't be afraid to fall back them if you need to.

He will try and give you a question to answer that is impossible, to get you, if that happens just admit it.

Flatter him and show deference, you'll do fine. (If you can use truthiness thats a bonus,)

Greg Forest · 3 years ago

You're getting darn good advice here already. Just remember its a comedy show. The GOP talking heads that survive all have one thing in common - a sense of humor. Have some stingy Wall family jokes onhand and you will rule. Don't take Colbert seriously - that is not the point.

Steve Newton · 3 years ago

Stephen: Let's get right to it Robert. May I call you Robert?
You: Of course.
Stephen. Ok, Of Course, why do you hate America?
You: Actually, I do what I do because I love America and see it being robbed by special interests.
Stephen: But isn't that what has made America great? That anyone with a special interest and the money can re-make it in their own image?
You: No, I think that's God.
Stephen: What's the difference?

Al · 3 years ago

Ask him about Charlene--the woman his character stalks.

john feal · 3 years ago

robert..................you mention uncovered,outfoxed,wal-mart,and the big buy.but what about the forgotten heroes of 9/11,made by you and the seirra club.i am one of the 4 stars in the movie,john feal.you are on the big stage in new york,and you should never forget about the movie you made on us.bring mr.colbert a copy of our movie,and let him know heroes of new york,innocent people of new york,and childern of new york are still very sick and getting sicker.people are dying because of this goverments lack of compassion surrounding the issues of 9/11 and its aftermath.mr.colberts show is a parody,a satire on government today.keep it in perspective where you are .when you are there,its comedy central.i myself am a big fan,because i believe our government is a big joke.please bring this man a copy of our movie and challenge him to promote the on going health issues that still face new yorks heroes and first responders.i would sit in the front row and if he crossed the line of good political humor and bad taste i would put my good foot(because i lost half a foot at ground zero)in his ass,to let him know,that the people of new york are dying becauise of bad politics,economics and a president who just doesnt care.if you could get myself and the others tickets,we will be there to support you.because thats what we do best,support the heroes of new york and those who tell our story.go there with an open mind,a sense of humor and match wits with an articulate man with your own brand of smarts.show him your not afraid to uncover the truth about any political story or scandel,because he allways preaches the truth.please robert do us proud,the first responders of 9/11 and dont take jack from mr.colbert or anyone,because heroes dying isnt funny,at all.thank you john feal,9/11 first responder,star of your movie,and co-founder of unsung heroes helping heroes....................p/s you still have not donated to our organization.we are counting on you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

geotenn · 3 years ago

When Steven asks a question, have an inscrutable smile and say "Thats a good question". Then just sit and smile. Do the same thing with a comment made by Steven that is made to elicit a response. It is up to you to devise an inscrutable smile. Cheers.

Terry · 3 years ago

Look at how many supporters you already have! You will do fantastic. Us Wal-Mart haters in Los Gatos, CA will be watching and cheering you on!!

P.S. - Wal-Mart sells "Care Bears" what an oxymoron that is!

addie · 3 years ago

Hi Robert, I think you should just go with the flow! Comment on his fireplace! Bring him something for his bookshelf like a framed photo of O'Reilly [yuck]. It will all be over before you know it! Have a great time!

maria · 3 years ago

Well, this shall be interesting!

I would start any comment with "well, when I rule the world...."
Take it all from "your" point of view and that makes it harder to jam you into a corner that you can't get out of. Put your head down and act as if you are holding back a laugh, keep a shit eating grin on the whole time. Shake your head up and down when he is talking, makes it look as if you are listening and that he is right. Make sure you are aware for your facial expressions at all times. Big wide eyes when he is talking and that hmm? look makes it seem as though you care about his comments and then you can speak to yours, with a grin!

Mary W · 3 years ago

Don't get defensive - if you feel yourself getting angry or scared, take a deep breath and remember that what you're doing is good and important - keep coming back to that.

Good luck!

SPDuffy · 3 years ago

My advice is to enjoy the ride - Colbert's interview will be a mix of seemingly direct and real questions followed by utterly absurd and unanswerable questions. Don't feel obliged to answer the question itself. Instead, have a non-sequitur of your own. Perhaps you could refuse to answer a question on the advice of your lawyers. But when the perfect moment arrives, you should rip off your microphone while saying "This is bullshit" like Bob Novak did on CNN. Of course, you'll want to practice this move because you need to get back in that chair a few moments later, once you've gotten your laugh. But remember, it's Colbert's forum, so you should only go for that one laugh - let him be the comedian for the remainder of the segment.

KM · 3 years ago

I agree with just agreeing to everything he and his callers acuse you of. If you don't want to, then you might try to turn their words around, ask them the same questions, or ask them a different question. But it seems there really is no way out of their questioning. They are going to ask you why you hate something you don't even hate, and you are going to have to say something. "I don't know." might work. If you squirm it is worse. Good luck - can't wait for the new movie! Hey, the good thing is - maybe the uneducated Americans won't know what you are talking about or who you are!

Tim · 3 years ago

The most important thing to remember is to laugh at his jokes. If you take them seriously you'll look like a fool. If you laugh, you remind everyone that they are jokes, that Stephen is a comedian making a satirical point (usually in your favor), and that you are a willing but serious participant in the satire.

Laugh and the world laughs with you! Get offended and you look like a jerk.

Suzanne · 3 years ago

Don't worry! Steve Colbert is on your side - he's not going to ask you anything you can't handle. He sets up all his "liberal" guests so that they can prove their point and make him look like the nut. Have fun!

Felipe · 3 years ago

Watch the interview he did with Jeffrey Sachs. He left Colbert make fun of him and laughed at himself but got his point accross. My advice would be to pick one key message and call it a victory if you can get it accross to his audience. Hopefully something outrageous that will help promoting your films. Good luck.

Jack · 3 years ago

My advice for you at "The Colbert Report" is to review, I believe last week's show with Keith Olberlin (spelling?) MSNBC host of Countdown and watch how he answers Steven's questions.

Basically, you want to have fun with him and tell the TRUTH. Remember, he's very proud of his personally coined word, "Truthiness". He loves to be flattered.

Lastly, he's really not a fan of "Papa Bear" O'Reilly either so you might have fun with that conversation etc.

P.S. Looking forward to your appearance. Enjoy the experience!

Sulayman F · 3 years ago

Don't worry. He'll try to hammer you with a few supposedly conservative questions, and will watch you defend yourself. Smile, and have fun with the questions. Remember, he's trying to be sarcastic. He poked fun at liberals like Katrina van den hoovel and Olbermann and Maureen Dowd.

Tom Alibrandi · 3 years ago

I was a very successful radio talkshow host, coming from the left in a very right wing area Idaho, Eastern Oregon & Washington, and Utah. I learned early on that whomever frames the questions or comments in the right way wins the day.

Jack · 3 years ago

The section on Christians & Moral Leadership appearing in the Strategic Plan dubbed the Dartmouth Report by some coincidentally offers one good idea you might use. Publius.for.progress@gmail.com is distributing the Plan in PDF format.

Holly · 3 years ago

Excessively praise him!!
Remember--you love his hair.
Have fun.
We love Stephen!

Sharleen · 3 years ago

The show is a brilliant satire, so you, too, must become a part of that satire. Wear a straight face, respond to Stephen's questions with outrageous statements delivered as though they come from the heart of your beliefs.
The best give and take is the guest who can outspoof Stephen and get him to break his facade. Good luck!

J-Dub · 3 years ago

Ask Colbert why he has such low expectations for America if he loves it as much as he (or at least his character) claims he does.

Jamie Court · 3 years ago

Play John Stewart on Crossfire. Study that clip. Wear the same jacket and tie Steward did.
"Stephen, I am just here to say stop...stop, please.This mixing of satire and politics is ridiculing our entire political establishment. Thirteen year olds are tuning into you rather than CSPAN. You're an open sore on the entire body politic. Please let me the country get back towork in Washington and stop worrying about how you're going to satire them. Just stop, please....Politics isn't funny"

If that doesn't work, refer to Fox as "Fucks"... This is cable right?

Bill S. · 3 years ago

Watching Stephen's interviews is like watching surfers ride a really big wave. -A lot is happening and it will go by really fast.-The best advice I can give you is to HAVE FUN WITH THIS! He is a brilliant satirist, and his questions usually have a nice absurdist flavor to them. The earlier posts were right-he will let you get your point of view across. I'm thinking he might ask "What's wrong with Wall Mart
owning all of America?", and you could segue into discussing the danger to the nation's banking system if Wall Mart suddenly had
financial troubles.-I read something on this recently, Anyway, you have a lot of homework to to between now and Thursday. Good Luck!

LR · 3 years ago

Ask him where the clothes he is wearing were made. He probably won't drop his pants to check, but it will distract him for a moment thinking of how to get a laugh at the possibility.

Keep him off balanced. The funniest interviews he does is when he throws something to the guest and they are able to knock it back to him without blinking an eye.

Good luck. Have fun. And keep fighting the good fight!

Mary · 3 years ago

I didn't have time to read through all of the posts, but he likes to ask people a question along the lines of, "George W. Bush - good President or THE GREATEST President?" Plan a witty comeback...

scott · 3 years ago

simple, take chomsky's advice for responsible public intellectuals: "expose lies, tell the truth, and take the decisions that integrity demands." In short, stay on point, don't get distracted. The matters about which you will be talking are no joke.

The key point is that the show should not be about Colbert or you, but about the human pain, suffering, trauma, death and destruction that result from US corporate and government policies and what we can do as a population to abolish the conditions and transform the institutions that give rise to so much violence and pain.

If Colbert thinks its funny show him some photos of Iraqi children with their arms and legs burned off by US bombs.

in peace and solidarity,

scott

Roger · 3 years ago

Great, Robert - I agree with yourr son...it's my favorite show too. Just mention 'bears' and you'll have Stephen on the defensive!

Suzanne · 3 years ago

I have to say I just read a bunch of these and I cannot believe how many people (I'm assuming younger adults) actually believe Steven Colbert is a patriotic conservative. What is going on in our schools that kids can't identify a good satire? And what the heck are they watching him for if he's ultra-right, anyway? This country, man....

Bill · 3 years ago

If Stephen asks you his standard quiz question, "George Bush: great president or greatest president?" I think you might reply something like, "By 'greatest,' do you mean the 'greatest so far' or the 'greatest possible' president?"

In a nutshell, going along with Colbert's ironical setup and humor is the best way to demonstrate that you get the show's premise, which is all in sync with you and your wonderful worldview! By the way, thanks for everything you've done so far and will do in the future!

Even though it's a unique interview (unlike any I’ve seen since), Stone Phillips's appearance on the first episode shows how taking the joke and helping Colbert run with it can be both successful and very entertaining. If that’s impossible for the whole interview, then I’d suggest just seeing the humor in his question and laughing. This worked very well for Tim Robbins.

Finally – and this is just a plug for my pet issue – if Stephen gives you the chance to talk about liberalism – most likely in a mock accusation that you suffer from such a disease – could you somehow slip in that the word itself is based on the root for “liberty” and “liberate” and means “freedom from bias.” In other words, the term “liberal bias” is an oxymoronic contrivance of conservatives who, after 30-years of repeating it at every turn, have succeeded (unfairly) in fusing the two opposite words together as one idea. To me, this explains why 65% of US Americans are liberal and progressive on most individual issues, while only 30% of American identify themselves as liberal.

Thanks, and good luck!

Shelley · 3 years ago

Remember that Stephen is really a liberal, but plays a narcissistic uber-conservative on TV. His show is sarcasm of the highest caliber. He'll ask you "Why do you hate big business?". Definitely give him some compliments, and think of a gift for him that he could put on his new "hearth" that he had installed on his set. Good luck!

Robert Klein · 3 years ago

Ask Stephen: "George W. Bush: Worst president, or worstest president?"

What will he say?

Freeman Ng · 3 years ago

Play along! Let your agenda be that you're appearing on the show to set the record straight: your documentaries are not the progressive statements that everybody seems to think they are. Rather, they are paens to Tom DeLay and Walmart, etc., that everybody has somehow misinterpreted. Then give examples of material from the films that everybody thinks is critical of their subjects, and explain how it is "really" supportive. And be ready to explain away any examples Colbert might throw at you. (This will be the hard part, but hey, good comedy is not easy.)

You'll be the funniest guest ever!

Cathy · 3 years ago

Q: George W. Bush: Great president, or greatest presiden?

A: Definitely the greatest president of the 21st century. Bar none.

Colleen Robinson · 3 years ago

The one thing I have noticed while watching the Colbert Report is that Steven's attacks often come out of nowhere! He'll ask why you hate America even though your previous comment had NO link to such a statement at all! So, to prepare for such circumstances is obviously dubious at best.
I suggest staying calm, believing in yourself and what it is you do, being generous (especially to yourself) and trusting the process. I caution you to be aware of analysis paralysis on this one!
You are already starting out as an honored guest, after all!

Maggie · 3 years ago

OK - My suggestion is that , since S. Colbert practices "satire ala exageration", when he nails you with a trapping question reply to him an answer soooo exagerated that it makes the audience laugh at you - then you are one up on him. He hates that but appreciates the competition and will credit you.

Mike Mooney · 3 years ago

I am a huge fan of both the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert is halarious because of the balance that he has with the more liberal leaning daily show. The Report is the anthisis of that, he wants to make a show that appears to be more right wing so that he can parody alot of "Right Wing" news stations. When you go on hes going to do to you what Bill O'Riley does to many of his guests. Hes going to ask you biased questions, ie hes asked questions such as, "Why do you hate america?" He doesn't ask it to corner you, so don't get cornered "I don't hate america, I just think that..." I've seen alot of your documentary work and you seem very intelegent. So just talk to him, let him make it funny. You just make it informative.

Ron · 3 years ago

Have fun on the Colbert Report. You have as many great remarks, to answer anything. Try and keep it a little to the point and a lot funny.

If he ask you if Bush is the Greatest President. Reply that the Father was greater, your waiting for the son to be crusified, and praying that the Holy Spirit is a democrate.

If stephen asks why you are always critical, reply that you learned by watching his show with your 13 year old that criticism is only a way of helping tomorrow be better.

Try and think of a good opening remark like "I always like to be with someone who is appreciated by his followers and himself."

Keep it funny, to the point, and just a little absurd.

Good luck.

And after you have lived through the Repor... keep your great work coming. Our Friends Meeting have been showing the ACLU series, with a light supper and a heavy discussion.

Bob Boldt · 3 years ago

Dear Mr. Greenwald.

Ah yes, how to deal with Stephen Colbert. I have had some experience observing him in action. The thing that I most like about him is his uncanny bloodhound ability to sniff out pretence and windbaggedness.

I wish I could tell you that because your cause is true and your heart is pure you have nothing to fear. Unfortunately it is a little more complicated than that. The only defense when faced with the great Colbert, nemesis of ideologues of any persuasion, is to lose all sense of personal pretense (and dignity) and just relax - no easy combination of assignments. Oh and keep your sense of humor. The only people he is able to skewer are those with an over inflated ego or a blind-sided dedication to hypocrisy. If you possess none of these qualities you have nothing to fear.

My interest in giving you this piece of advice is purely altruistic as I will be receiving an advanced copy for my very own from my brother-in-law, Mark Birnbaum. You can count on me to be watching and laughing. Don’t forget to laugh at yourself. It is your only defense against the tricky, wily Colbert.

Peace,
Bob Boldt

Threreed · 3 years ago

Please go on the Daily Show instead, where intelligent people are watching.

--Actually, now that I think about it, you probably have hit the right demographic after all.

I'll watch it anyway.

Daryl Wise · 3 years ago

STAY ON TARGET. Bring speaking points and facts.

Do a run through on video first.

ak gary · 3 years ago

I am borrowing this from Lakoff:
Rationlism is a false assumption. Don't fight big issues with a lot of facts. "Fact won't set you free if they are unframed" says Lakoff. So frame your thoughts around what is the "common good". Provide big picture thinking involving emotion - provide a way of thinking. Cuz otherwise you can't win.

Nick C · 3 years ago

Based on my limited exposure to the show, he will take the debate into the territory of outrageousness. You need to either play along and look outrageous yourself (probably not advisable) or find a way to turn the outrageousness of his questions or premises back on your targets (not Colbert).

barbara wright · 3 years ago

One of the questions that you should ask Colbert is "Why does Wal-Mart feel that they have to intimidate suppliers? Why does Wal-Mart get away with tell vendors whom of their
employees can work in a particular store and who can't?

JD · 3 years ago

"Bob, why do you hate America?"

I love america and liberals love america far more than conservatives do. America is a nation of people and liberals actually love Americans. We love soldiers too much to risk and waste their lives on Neocon nation-building fantasies. We love the people too much to squander thier environmental reources through greed and laziness. We love children too much to accept crappy schools and frustrated teachers for the non-affluent. We love seniors too much to casually dismiss growing poverty in retirement. And we love the unborn too much to cripple their future with a grotesque national debt built by our own avarice. I love America and so do all liberals.

justsilver23 · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I think that you've already received the best advice several times over: Don't take yourself too seriously on the show.

I suggest not looking into his eyes. That's when you'll be caught offguard. At least that's what would happen to me, but maybe that's because I'm a woman. Oh, he does have beautiful eyes!

I'll be watching.

Jamie Court · 3 years ago

Play John Stewart on Cross Fire. Watch the clip. Wear the same jacket and tie he did. Get real serious and don't laugh.
"I'm here just to ask you stop...Really just stop. This mixing of satire and politics is doing damage to the entire political establishment. 13 year olds, like mine, aren't watching CSPAN because they are watching you. Just stop, please...Let everyone get back to work in DC and stop worrying about you satiring them. Come on, pull the plug. This serious, Stephen. Politics isn't funny!"
If that doesn't work, then start talking about "Fox" but call it "Fucks Network".....This is cable right?

Lisa Arnold · 3 years ago

Ask to see his Peabody and use the word "truthiness" -- that'll put him on your side.

Minneapolis will be watching!

Thomas · 3 years ago

I hope he doesn't find out about your asking for this type of advice. It might be seen as a weakness, which I'm sure he'll pounce on.

Don't worry about. You're overthinking this.

LesR22 · 3 years ago

don't even try to prepare. just stay loose, assume every question is dead serious, coming from a mainstream tim-russert-type interview host, and respond accordingly. you can't beat him, you're not gonna be funnier than him, and he's not gonna give you an opening to prove otherwise. he's probably gonna ask you 'what have you got against Wal-Mart / I bought a complete set of Firestone tires there last week for $5.11, and let me tell you, they're best made-in-China tires I ever put on my H-2!' or something along those lines, but , then again, he could also do the whole interview asking you about the price of soccer uniforms or movie-camera film. So, good luck. You'll need it.

Jamie Court · 3 years ago

Play John Stewart on Cross Fire. Watch the clip. Wear the same jacket and tie he did. Get real serious and don't laugh.
"I'm here just to ask you to stop...Really, just stop. This mixing of satire and politics is doing damage to the entire political establishment. 13 year olds, like mine, aren't watching CSPAN because they are watching you. Just stop, please...Let everyone get back to work in DC and stop worrying about you satiring them. Come on, pull the plug. This is serious, Stephen. Politics isn't funny!"
If that doesn't work, then start talking about "Fox" but call it "Fucks Network".....This is cable right?

Jay · 3 years ago

Under the guise of a conservative talk show host, Steven Colbert lampoons that which he outwardly appears to be a member. Most conservative talk show host accomplish the same, without having to try.

The difference is the audience who appreciate the subtleties of his humor, even your son. You have to remember, Mr. Colbert is on your side.

Start each sentence with “As a freedom loving American…”

Ask him questions like “What kind of documentary movies would you like to see Mr. Colbert?”

He likes having the nervous “straight man”, so give him what he wants, then let him do his magic.

Remember, as long as he is talking, you are winning.

Some other interrogative techniques;

“I could use a man like you to help me with the truth, and hell, those baby seals are just taking up space that could be used for better purposes like interrogation camps and oil rigs.”

“Yeah, but my Target stock is way up!”

“Look on the bright side, with Bush out of the way, Cheney is a shoe in, and who knows, maybe Rumsfield for VP. We can only dream. The only conservative leader better than those, is none other than ….Steven Colbert. (wait for cheers) I would like you to commit right now, right here on national TV, to run as the next president of the United States of America on the Republican ticket.”

“Yeah, I bought Public Radio stock after that, but all I got was a coffee mug.”

“Walmart is opening stores in China, maybe they’ll put Chinese manufactures out of business by buying only American products.”

“Would you mind if I called you ‘comrade’”?

Jay

elizabeth leik · 3 years ago

Please ask him if he shops at Wal Mart, just to see his response.

I show your Wal Mart movie to my classes each semester so that they have something to write about. Great job, thank you. We are in line for the upcoming Big Buy, as well, and can't wait until it is released.

c. Bratta · 3 years ago

He will try making a quip statement to which, little can be a reply.. But ask him if he is interested in a little jingle or rhyme you have?- It is a quip to the hammer whip-USE A "HAMMER" TO BUST DEMOCRACY- CORUPTION IS SLICKER.
REPLACE DEMOCRACY WITH CORRUPT-OICY. AND
CORRUPT AMERICA IS JUST A "GAMBLE" AWAY.. IF YOU THINK DELAY...
-
THE NEW DEMOCARACY IS TO UNIONISE CORRUPTION -ONLY THE RICH CAN "ARRIVE.".
IF YOU HAVE NO ANSWER-GIVE A QUIP- TO GET THE THOUGHT OUT.
YOU'LL DO FINE...-C.

Robert Klein · 3 years ago

Also, I think you should run up to the audience as he announces you--steal a little of his thunder.

Octoberdan · 3 years ago

Get the audience on your side! Make them laugh, make them cheer and clap!

Michael Flaxman · 3 years ago

Keeping in mind that the Colbert Report IS satire, Stephen is at his best when the guest is at his/her best -- when the guest really "pushes back" as if the interview was NOT a send up. Add to this that the best interviews I have ever heard are when the guests take him "seriously" -- when they respond to him as if he WAS Bill O'Reilly or someone of O'Reilly's ilk.

Like O"Reilly, Colbert does not subscribe to the conversational convention of "I talk, then you talk." He impolitely cuts people off (in keeping with the persona he has created). Unfortunately, most guests respond as if they are still in polite society rather than being in a skit where the thing that makes it work is the dynamic tension created by the interaction of a protagonist and an antagonist.

One of the best interviews Colbert ever did was with Arianna Huffington. Because she was a conservative before reinventing herself, she knows both sides of the political game and used that knowledge to great advantage during the interview. She (convincingly) played as if she was taking him perfectly seriously. For example, if I remember correctly, she began one of her responses to him with , "You know Stephen, it's people like you who...." and continued with something indicating he was giving the United States a bad name.

Only someone politically progressive can do what Colbert does. So, when he can help a progressive guest "get the word out" he usually gives the guest an opening. Since he can't "break character" , he provides the opening by playing the role of a contrarian -- the further "right" he goes, the further "left" the guest can go. In "real life" he probably doesn't like Wal-Mart any more than you do.

The other thing that makes for a successful interview with him -- both from his perspective and yours -- is if the guest is neither cowed nor star struck. The only thing he knows how to do better than you is to be a comedian. Although, as a comedian, he does not always do as well as I would like, his invitation is always to playfully "duke it out.". Help him do that. But don't try to compete in the Funny Department. Play your game, let him play his.

And finally, you'll know you've WON if one (or both) of the following scenarios occurs:
1. If you manage to get him to break character (either to laugh or even to smile) YOU WIN!!!
2. If he says something like, "Go ahead, say whatever you want. I'll be editing this out anyway" YOU WIN AGAIN!!!

"Hey, maybe you should "theaten" do a documentary about him! Good luck Robert.

Greenengineer · 3 years ago

"I love my country but I fear my government."

There's lots of ways to find common ground with a super-patriot, if you can show how W's policies have made us less secure.

DI Willy · 3 years ago

Since Colbert's a put-on, "Punk Him." Enter the interview with your enthusiastic, bubbling excitement about your next project: A film about Bill O'Reilly and the right-wing blabber-boys on cable TV.

Offer him a major role or episode or Executive Producer or Creative Consultant. Bring a phony contract.

Take 5 secs to brainstorm a scenario; or use Stephen to solicit his audience for suggestions for names and incidents for inclusion in your next film.

RIGHT ON! AMERICA!: Why the Right-Wing Talks the Truth.

Remember to steal anything that works.

Lester Ellis · 3 years ago

Much more that many of his guests, you will be in the same camp although Colbert will obfuscate even that.
I would suggest that you find as many HUMOROUS stories that puncture ludicrous corporate-America practices. In the WalMart film you stated that the very poorly paid WM workers have managed to fund a program with over $1,000,000 to help fellow workers faced with extreme life situations. The fund was helped by the generous support of the billionnare WalMart family with a tiny gift of $1 or 2,000.
Good luck. I'll be watching.
Lester Ellis

Bob Who · 3 years ago

stop the whinning ..and get out there.. what PR crap are you trying to pull ???

Kay · 3 years ago

why do you hate America?
B/c she shops to much at walmart, over spends on her credit cards and she has really giant, really strange Texas size growths on her rear end, that seem to multiply every new hour. Consider me the country's proctolgy expert--been suiting up for years now. See, treatment involves exposure, airing out so to speak. Once the light of day hits--they are history.

Betsy · 3 years ago

Wear a shirt that says "I love Conservatives". I'd also say just be laid back and good-humored about the whole thing. Don't be afraid to laugh, just don't get hysterical. And make sure you go pee beforehand. He wouldn't want you to urinate on his chair.

Kevin McNamara · 3 years ago

Robert, Colbert is friend not foe. He wouldn't want you on his show if he didn't respect you. Remember, you have taken a medium that was reserved for those with large wallets and used it for the little guy. You have also pulled back the curtain and revealed to us what the news media has become; smiling public relations tools for those in power. The secret to Karl Rove's power is not some hidden weapon, rather a profound knoweldge of the insecurities of today's news reporters and the corporations that employ them. Keep up the fantastic work. I look forward to purchasing your films whenever they come up. Bravo Zulu!

Sandra Butler · 3 years ago

When he asks you why you hate America lean forward and say --- with gravity --- "I don't hate America. It's the ET's that have taken over our leaders' bodies that get me down."

If he asks what you have against American workers reply, "They refuse to work for free. That's why they must be exposed."

Be sure to raise your wrist to your ear and listen every now and again, then answer.

Can't wait to see the show.

caramella · 3 years ago

Oh how absurd some folks are telling you to try and outsmart a professional satirist. Next they even tell you to be an Al Franken- an even MORE accomplished satirist.
You are a successful filmaker with a message. Stick to your strengths.

Just have fun- relax and DON'T try to do his job. You are simply there to talk about your movie.. The biggest downfall to anyone is taking a silly situation too seriously.
This is a great opportunity. Chill.
The Daly Show did a great spoof on Walmart- did you ever see that?

Chuck Caley · 3 years ago

Be ready for the "what you got against free enterprise" question. Just because WalMart figured out a better way to sell than Mom and Pop why should we all hate them. Doesn't the man who invents the better mouse trap deserve to make money from his idea?

Rudy Nardelli · 3 years ago

Make an announcement and confession.

You are a closet right wing moral values Republican.

That will force a change in the discussion.

Explain...you decided to take the form you have taken because you can count on the lack of media criticism, lack of the criticism by the unpatriotic democracts and intensifying the rise of energy of extremest Republicans.

The Republicans need intensified support from their base. It is how you get more media attention and and get out the pray more vote. Take a cheap shot by invoking accountability, the war, same sex marraige, the poor, the environment, torture, no bid contracts...and watch W's numbers rise. Spending $1,600,000,000 didn't help...so, I reasoned this would work.

Then, I would take Colbert's victory prance around the stage.

Why do I hate America...because hating America is the way to keep the Republicans in power...of course.

Chuck · 3 years ago

Be ready for the "what you got against free enterprise" question. Just because WalMart figured out a better way to sell than Mom and Pop why should we all hate them. Doesn't the man who invents the better mouse trap deserve to make money from his idea?

Frank Espada · 3 years ago

Some weeks ago, Stephen mentioned to John that he had to go see his doctor. When asked the problem was, he said:

"I have something going on between my scrotum and my annus"

Yes, he did say that, I swear. So, here's your coup d'grace:

YOU: "Oh, I heard you say to John that you had something going on between your scrotum and your annus. Can you tell us what the problem is?"

Are you strong and self-assured enough to ask this question?
Just remember, these people have no shame. Neither should you.

Harry, III · 3 years ago

Too late for us wrinklies to stay-up and watch, so I record this show and its predecessor. The only guests I've seen "get the better" of S.C. are those who gave the appearance of agreeing with him, but with a wink and a nod. The suggestion that you rise as he approaches with his arms raised sounds right-on to me, but it'll piss-off his producers.

Arno Peeters · 3 years ago

I'm a freelance journalist from The Netherlands* and a fan of anything honest, even if that means the hard way.
So my advice would be: stay honest... It sounds like a cliché ('just be yourself') but it's really hard not to be tempted in displaying a better/stronger/more appealing side of yourself when you are in the hot seat.
Point is: that's what a good and cynical reporter (or host for that matter) is waiting for: anything that will make the emotion-meter go up means something is hidden...ready to be dug out...

Once that process is underway, it will get worse by the minute.

Truth will never be a reason to 'scalp' a person in public. Numerous examples of that and the opposite.

Good luck!


(*dunno Stephen Colbert btw.)

Harry, III · 3 years ago

Too late for us wrinklies to stay-up and watch, so I record this show and its predecessor. The only guests I've seen "get the better" of S.C. are those who gave the appearance of agreeing with him, but with a wink and a nod. The suggestion that you rise as he approaches with his arms raised sounds right-on to me, but it'll piss-off his producers.

chris · 3 years ago

You can't run and hide at this point, but I understand that desire. Dress up like a pirate, or as a Buddhist monk , In red, white and blue, of course--then offer him a "hot slice" of pizza.

Alan · 3 years ago

Be respectful, friendly and flattering. You might: 1) Suggest that your movies point out the "truthiness" (stopping to give credit to Mr. Colbert for coining the term) of their subjects and give a couple of good examples of the inconsistencies between the statements Wal-Mart and Tom Delay make and the realities they want us to ignore. If you really want to lay it on thick, you can bring up the fact that the American Dialect Society voted "truthiness" as their 2005 Word of the Year. 2) Mention that you require your advance team to have a tape of the most recent episode of The Colbert Report started as you walk into your hotel room for "downtime."

Michael North · 3 years ago

You'll get lots of advice on substance. Here's some advice on style, from someone who has worked extensively in political media:

-- 1. Stay still. Look at the interviewer, not down, up or to the side. Practice this with a friend; it's easy, you can still be natural...but most of us do not have this habit.

-- 2. With Colbert, don't smile too much. Take him seriously, but don't answer wonkishly...answer with a twist, a pun, change levels on him, refer back to something in his monologue or other bits before your interview.

-- 3. Speak in short, declarative sentences. No jargon, subjunctives, conditionals. This is not writing, which you do very well, but you have a complex, nested, weblike style. This is like talking to a literate-but -AD-teenager. That's what Colbert is, and what we all become when we watch the tube.

-- 4. Dress casual, but neat; warm colors, no stripes, closed collar, pay attention to makeup and hair in the green room, ask for it if they don't offer.

-- 5. Relax and have fun, but don't seem too eager. If Colbert slides you one of his absurd premises, just look him in the eye and be silent. It takes willpower, but he'll love you for that. You don't have to fill the air with words.

-- 6. If it's natural to you, use your hands when you speak. "On the one hand this...on the other hand that..." People's drugged eyes follow gestures on TV, they make you look strong and sincere.

-- 7. Don't make jokes. That's Colbert's job, his whole life, and he's much better at it than you. Both he and the audience will resent and/or mock you if you try.

Consider re-reading McLuhan's "The Medium is the Message" -- still the hottest/coolest thing about media, perception, culture and politics going, though it's almost 40 years old now.

Above all -- enjoy New York! Maybe you'll get one of those magical Central-Park-stroll days.

Ted · 3 years ago

He WILL ask you why you hate our troops. Smile, laugh and ask him why HE hates the troops.

Cara · 3 years ago

Okay,
You know he will make a comment about why you pick on Wal-Mart and not other retailers....you must come up with a very good response to this because whatever you say is where he'll try to make his smart ass remark (don't get me wrong...I love Colbert...but I wouldn't want to be you lol). Ohh, and just a piece of advice...if he does make a smart ass remark..do NOT try and make one back unless you know for certain it is good....usually where people look like idoits on his show is when Colbert makes a savvy come back and then in a desperate attempt to save face the guest tries to make one back....I hope this helps! Good Luck! I'll be watching!

Robert Moran · 3 years ago

DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONAL, this is the best offence, defence, and calming position under any conditions.

Harry, III · 3 years ago

Too late for us wrinklies to stay-up and watch, so I record this show and its predecessor. The only guests I've seen "get the better" of S.C. are those who gave the appearance of agreeing with him, but with a wink and a nod. The suggestion that you rise as he approaches with his arms raised sounds right-on to me, but it'll piss-off his producers.

Judy · 3 years ago

I disagree with the people who say to kiss his a.. feed to his narcissistic self, ok....but stay honest, focused, and strong in what is the truth about the mess we find our country in today. Satire is great because it helps us to laugh at the sad truth....but truth it must stay. The force be with you!!!!

Carl Collins · 3 years ago

," Bill O'Reilly is always right..
You can get better advisee from Bill O'Reilly .
I like Bush, and I like Bill, He tells it like it is.
You make your self look stuped. Your son will be watching.
Carl.

TOdd Boyle · 3 years ago

MediaMatters helped me a lot when I got invited to the Bill OReilly show to argue about Recruiters on high school campuses.

But at the end of the day I decided on the following principles. 1) You can never know what will be the opening attack, or the series of smaller attacks. 2) The attacks will of course be at the framing level, the opponent will never engage the real subject. So, you should never allow them to define the terms of the discussion. See O'Reilly versus Phil Donohue, for an example, heavyweight battle over framing. 3) there's no real risk of being on the show since we are living in a dark time, so long before the dawn anyway. So focus on the only possible benefit: to jam some memes into the mind of a small number of viewers paying attention. 4) In conclusion: whatever the host says, your job is to create a prepositional phrase to connect that statement with whatever you need to say, and continue smoothly into your statement in a way that the host cannot easily cutoff your microphone without being completely obviously rude. 5) your statement better be pretty damned good, because you have just jerked the host around, as well as the audience. So, I concluded that I needed approximately 20 statements of the key issues about Recruiters, and I rehearsed and repeated them endlessly. This decomposed my problem into a manageable set of tasks,

Todd

Craig · 3 years ago

Colbert is hilarious but in the interviews he is a very close imitator to O'Reilly's grilling style and "Have you stopped beating your wife?" type of questions.

He may ask:

Wal-Mart offers low prices. What have you got against working families?

Wal-Mart is a down-home, salt-of-the-earth, all-American company that supports our president and the troops. Why should we listen to a liberal elitist documentary maker disparaging this American institution?

How much do you think we should all pay for a pack of underwear?

Be careful because sometimes Colbert gets carried away and may interrupt you.

My advice:

1. Laugh before answering. It shows rapport, that you get the joke, and it gives you a moment to think.

2. If the question is silly or unwinnable, start your answer: "The question isn't ... The question is ..." Then answer that question.

3. Make sure you keep your answers very short, as you will likely be interrupted. Get a couple of sound bites ready so you can communicate your ideas quickly.

4. Make a list of 5 points you want to get across and regardless of the question get those points across.

5. Don't try to be funny unless there is a killer opportunity--you'll have to be the straight man unless there is a great opportunity.

6. You can turn things around. If you get a question, "Why do you hate ...?" Try to turn it around immediately as, "Why does Wal-Mart hate ...?"

Good luck!

Dean Niles · 3 years ago

I have never seen the show. I live mostly in Mexico. I would think if you play it light laughing at his jokes and treating even the cutting statement as jokes, you couldn't go wrong. Give him complements and laugh at them too. Stay light and don't get bated and you will breeze through it. Sorry I can't be more help.

Roger Mac · 3 years ago

Let him know that you are doing a documentary on Wal-Mart importing powerded Bear tentacles from China as an aphrodisiac to their pharmacies.

James Hetfer · 3 years ago

1. Get a shirt made that says "Strengthen Our Borders Against Bears" that has a Colbert character with a rifle on his hip with a dead bear under foot. Offer it as a gift.

2. Have you not watched this show? You are lucky bastard who is about to have a helluva lot of fun!

3. Ask him to be in your next film about hunky news anchors. Tell him there will be lots of oil in it.

WT · 3 years ago

get real! if you are tooooo afraid to face the Colbert Report, then get out of investigative and truthful reporting NOW!

Seriously, he who can bring the heat but can't take the heat is clearly not that HOT! to begin with.

and with that said....go face your maker.

Matt · 3 years ago

Are you serious? Colbert is a total lefty dressed in Fox News clothing. I take your email as a desperate cry for publicity.

Chris Dornan · 3 years ago

Here's a little piece of advice - when Stephen Colbert does his high-five the audience routine, get up and run past him, high-five some people and sit at his desk when he sits at the table.

That ought to throw him for a loop.

Break a leg - then sue Comedy Central - I hear they have deep pockets.

Yours truly,

The City of Portland, OR

Danyell · 3 years ago

Stephen doesn't really mock his guests, but the entire right wing news media and how it functions. He may get in a few zingers, but I feel he is genuinely respectful of his guests (the actual live-on-the-show guests. Not those poor people in his special reports) So anyone that delivers a cool, clear message, while having a sense of humor about it will be fine.

If you get stuck, blame it on those damn bears. And tell him how handsome and brilliant he is.

Rosalie Steward · 3 years ago

Hi

I have just begun watching "Colber Repor",
my advice: be honest, try to "frame the conversation"..rather than have him frame the conversation....this may be difficult.
You make films to inform the public ab out serious issues facing Americans and issues which have not been covered seriously by main stream media.....

Tell yourself you will be fine....center yourself.
Breath deeply and believe in your mission.
You provide a great service to America.
Remember that.

Thank you for your films.

Brian Caldirola · 3 years ago

Hey there. Best of luck with Colbert. Some ideas...

(a) Wear red, white & blue. Nothing like a blue suit, a white shirt and a red tie to throw him off.

(b) No matter what he says, go further to the right than he does. If he says our troops should stay in Iraq for five years, say ten. If he wants prayer in school, tell him you demand nothing less than the full Mass.

(c) If he brings up the constitution, reach into your suit coat pocket and pull out a parchment scroll of the constitution and explain you “carry it with you at all times.”

(d) When he attacks you for attacking O’Reilly -- and he will -- you can really catch him off guard by saying your problem with “Papa Bear” is he’s not conservative enough. Look, he was in favor of the Dubai Ports deal, he’s against the death penalty and even with Jessica’s Law which he’s so big on, you’re convinced he’d be against lynch mobs. In fact, the whole point of “OutFoxed” was to prod O’Reilly back in under the conservative’s tent.

(e) Lastly, why not present Colbert with his own live, pet eagle? Don’t worry -- he won’t care if it’s endangered.

-- Brian Caldirola

Robb H · 3 years ago

As another film maker, the advice I will give you sounds quite simple: think before you speak. Don't answer a question just because you're asked one. Instead, think about it. If it's a bad question, or leading, or misleading say: "I don't accept your premise." Set yourself up by posing your own "rhetorical" questions and then answering them. Just don't copy Rumsfeld's idiotic style.

Eli · 3 years ago

You should call him Stevo for starters. Guys called Steven need to be knocked off their high horses and the more you can aggrevate him, the better. He'll be your antagonist to the end, so be ready to hear "I love Walmart! I go there atleast once a day!" This is his way of causing friction between you and ultimately humor for his audience. Just stick to your guns and fire your facts about Walmart, Fox, and politics. A response could be "Well, you're only supporting China by doing that and raising unemployment here." To this he will say "You're such a downer. Were you beat up by some Chinamen in a Chinatown Chinese restaurant?" You should just say no to any absurd questions and continue with the facts, like saying "No, but China does sell their products for much less, because of the cheap inhumane labor there." Inform the people and then reply quickly to whatever Stevo gives you. Don't wait for the crowd's response, unless it's in your favor.

Elaine · 3 years ago

I have only seen the show a couple of times, but it seems that the standard of " face the enemy before they face us" holds true here. Get on even footing the first minute he attacks with a comical inuendo about his naive stance about almost everything.

rb · 3 years ago

I second the advice to learn from Olberman. He did well. I think you can still see it on Crooks and Liars.

You might also ask him if he's ever shopped at Wal Mart. This will give him a chance to play on the discrepancy inherent in his character of being on the side of the little people without having to share in their sordid, shabby lifestyle (same with all genuine blowhard mainstream news pundits).

You could also ask him if he has health insurance, if he's ever been to a sweatshop, if he could live on a Walmart salary, etc.

tiffanyesq · 3 years ago

On a lark, Stephen Moskovitz - jewelrytherapy@yahoo.com, recently asked me how I would solve the pervading health issue... and my ad hoc response was that it might be practical to institute "hospital duty" a la jury duty, with nuanced differences, of course ... this would enable the full-time and career staff to ramp up their efforts into more skilled areas while permitting the rest of us (with appropriate training and/or supervision) to learn about some of the basic health and medical situations that occur at home or on the street and help prevent overreaction and unneccessary expenses. With respect to building equity, Edgar Cahn, who invited the concept of TimeDollars, has a system that could track everyone's individual time contributions, which could then be "banked" and/or pooled in exchange for more expensive medical services required by the individual or a member of their "inner circle" or transferred to special needs accounts and thus this free civic labor could ultimately be channeled to help to offset some of the concerns about understaffing and encroaching costs associated with the provision of health services for the indigent, aging and chronically ill.

I am sharing this because I mentioned the idea to someone at Spalding & King, who happens to be a health policy expert and she said that she had never heard of that idea before and liked it.

A win win is a winner for all...

Cheers

Austin Ted Paulnack · 3 years ago

Yikes, now I have to take a nap and awake to see you on Colbert.

Charles · 3 years ago

Colbert Question: Now, Mr. Greenwald, if you had your way, Wal-Mart will no longer be able to underpay employees or discriminate against them. Isn't this dangerously likely to make American workers think that they deserve a decent livelihood?

Wrong answer: Yes.
Wrong answer: No.
Correct answer: There is that risk. However, there are literally *billions* of foreigners who can still be underpaid, cheated, discriminated against, and denied healthcare coverage. So, think of my proposals as adding just a dollop of choice to the marketplace.

The point of Colbert repartee is to listen carefully to the question, answer it perfectly seriously, and always provide a right-wing talking point as the explanation for why you are in favor of whatever cause you support. If you can throw in a word George Will would use, you get extra credit.

* If you were a gay hooker, you'd point out the compassionate care and psychological counseling you provide to your clients, all without the intervention of the state.

* If you were a drug addict, you would point out that you serve a valuable social function of being an object lesson for the mercenary exploitation of televangelists.

* If you were a Republican, you can point out that you are so patriotic that if there is a draft and your father can't get you into the National Guard, you'd be delighted to serve... in Germany.

Ray · 3 years ago

Yes RG! The best way to tackle the Colberts in today's world is to dangle the carrot in front of them. Boost his ego at all times- no use trying to put him down ... it can only make things ugly. Give him all those things he loves to hear about himself and all those that he hates to believe about the world. Start and end with showers of praises for him and his show.

Play it straight and natural, stick to rationality, truth and logic. Keep it precise and hit it on the nail. Remember you are not on that show to make Colbert like or hate you, but to win over the audience! And the audience will be doubly happy because you were very respectful of your host and never cut him down in front of the people who love him. And then they will see the depth of what you said as it sinks in slowly.

Also, do some kind of a follow-up on this appearance. Thanking people, analysing your performance, talking about it etc.
Good luck! We'll be watching!

Ron Rossi · 3 years ago

Colbert usually tries to get a clever irony accross on his show.

Lou Dobbs was asked whether his show, which has two themes: Outsourcing of American Jobs and unfettered imigration from Mexico were at odds with eachother.

Why not export ALL of our jobs and then people from Mexico will have no interest in coming here to work because there will be no jobs left.

His show is also modeled after Bill O'Reiley's format. Your attacks on O'Liely will probably be clipped and Colbert will ask you about them feining comic outrage. Plan on having to pretend you are actually debating a more clever version of Bill.

He will likely also cover the themes of your OutFoxed and WalMart movies. Be ready for something there. The Daily Show and its progeny, the Colbert Report, seem to have followed all of your themes very respectfully.

Be ready for some teasing about your earnestness and leftist true believer persona. Turn it around to reflect your self deprecation, but earnestness about these huge issues and your outrage nobody seems to be noticing.

Track through the Roger Ailes stuff. Remind him that Cheney's host requirements pre-visit letter requires that the host have FOX News turned on on all TVs when he is staying at a hotel. It must keep the bad juju away.

This guy and administration are in a bubble. They do not see the huge groundswell of change starting to take hold.

When Cheney shoots someone in the face while on a drugged bird shoot in Texas he goes to Fox news for comfort.

Very bad joke you might try (but it is very in character for the show):

Clinton was talking to Cheney shortly after Cheney's hunting incident. Clinton and George Senior hang out a lot of late. Clinton mentioned that he had noticed Cheney had only gotten a $7 fine for shooting someone in the face;

When I did that I got impeached!

I am sure your delivery will be better. Good luck!

Shelia Steinbrecher · 3 years ago

If I was appearing on the show I would watch one of the previous shows and study his technique and time him to when he does what. I would also look for what general questions he normally asks guest he likes and the ones he does not like.

Betty P · 3 years ago

You darling man, I love you. You'll do fine and I will be watching that show. I'm already a fan of the Colbert Report.....

diana · 3 years ago

I've been feasting on the Daily Show for ages and Colbert is a perfect dessert. The most successful Colbert guests don't compete with Colbert. He's the funny guy, you be the straight guy, but smile alot. But, anticipate his subject matter. With you, as one of the writers noted, he'll definitely say something funny about China. Also about labor, Wal-Mart, etc. Just listen to what he is asking. Your straight answer will trigger another outrageous statement. That's what its all about.

TomT · 3 years ago

Ask him why 85% of the troops in the middle east believe Saddam is responsible for 9/11.

David Wilkes · 3 years ago

The important consideration is to get your message out. Colbert interrupts. Start with your elevator speech and have short, to the point statements lined up. He also appreciates the outrageous.

John Stewart appeared on a conservative show on MSNBC. He let them have it both barrels. Colbert likes to adopt a conservative persona to torque guests up. If he does, do a Stewart on him. He also likes to mispronounce names. Give it to him in kind, Col-beRRRTTT.

Above all, have fun.

Deb Ross · 3 years ago

Hey Robert. Just think of the taping as PRACTICE for a verbal sparing match with the REAL O' Reilly!! You may someday get your wish and end up on his show too!! (Be careful what you wish for ; ) Good luck...

Jim McKay · 3 years ago

Compliment him on his Emmy and Peabody awards or at least be prepared for him to mention them in comparison to your "award winning" documentaries.

SC: Thank you for joining us. It's a pleasure to meet an award winning filmmaker.

RG: Thanks, but my awards pale in comparison to your Emmy and Peabody.

SC: Well thanks...

RG: Yes, you were really, really good in the 40 Year Old Virgin.

lee · 3 years ago

All I can tell you is to stay calm, stick with the facts, confront them on the lies, express disagreements only after you have asked the person their reasons for their position, avoid dogmatic proclamations, respond rather then react (know the difference between defending vs. being defensive.

Richard Goldman · 3 years ago

Bob,

Be sarcastic! Tell him that God told you to do the Wal-Mart doc. Or, that (like his show) your work is misunderstood by many people who don't get the inherrent satire. Explain that your work is all tongue in cheek. Tell him that you've always hated those overpriced Mom & Pop stores and quaint little town shopping districts where people park their cars horizontally (what's up with that?). Explain that the whole point of it was to expose as many whiny Wal-Mart haters as you possibly could. Tell him that you hate stores with narrow aisles and know-it-all employees who like to show off with their knowledge of their merchandise. Tell him the China stuff was all shot in New Jersey with as many American made cameras as you could find, but openly admit that the film was editted in Beijing where the editors get paid 15 cents a day. As many have already said, remember that you are on Comedy Central where sarcasm plays better than earnest truth.

May the farce be with you.

Scott · 3 years ago

I can't tell you what to say but maybe just how to deal with it or a couple of items to bring up.
1. Remember it's not your show, it's Colbert's.

2. do what annoys him. Then he'll go on and on ranting like O'Rielly.

3. Remember the movie, " Devils advocate" watch it again, quik! before the show. Take notes!

4. Watch for the bead of sweat down the side of his face, then just ask, are you Ok?. Look intently concerned! as if you're afraid for his well being. Then bring it up again and again and again throughout the show. He will get nervous. It will show on TV!

5. You know that bear thing. You know the psych question, " if a bear shits in the woods and you don't hear it does he really?.....Or was that a tree hugger?
Point is you've got to be the lighter of the fuse but also the defuser.

6. The bear again, "yup they're ready to take 'm off the endanger species list. More curious though is that the Amercan bald eagle is evidently off too.!"
Saved from the brink of extention only to be eliminated by a 9 trillion dollar debt we are going to have to borrow from someone else. Hm, I wonder who's going to be the entrepeneur and declare open season on the bald eagle!"

Well that's enough fauder. Just watch for the republican bait and switch tactics. But if he wants to rant just let him go on and on and on then ask him, "are you done". And if he isn't let him a just do the whole show and don't say a damn thing.
You could just lay on the floor under an american flag and ask if he wants to walk all over you, a real patriot!

Good luck, e me back what happened, cause I'll probably miss it!

Liz · 3 years ago

Watch the episode where Colbert takes on Al Franken. You might get asked the same to questions he did: Why do you hate America? and What do you have against Papa Bear? Just remember that this is a comedy show and you'll look much more dignified and fun-loving if you just play along with the joke.

yet another advice giver · 3 years ago

The best advice I've seen so far is the "yes, and..." ....nothing kills comedic interplay faster than a "no..."

Colbert *wants* it to be funny and for you both to have fun...he seems to be as gracious as a parody-host can be.... as long as the guest doesn't clumsily try to upstage him (the bear-references seem like a good idea but be careful in delivery) or are a self-righteous, humorless, know-it-all (ever heard how Michael Moore talks to those who already *agree* with him?--it ain't pretty)

With that in mind, have as much fun as possible while anticipating the "why do you hate america" bullet in various forms. You'll be fine.

Best of luck!

john pitcavage · 3 years ago

Mr. Coldbeer is going to ask you what's wrong with buying a congressman, 'as American as applemotherhood'. You tell him : that sounds like what Miles Davis responded to Calvin Trillin when he reminded Mr Davis that he had once been a pimp: "What's wrong with that?" You can also tell him yea but there's a right way and a wrong. Good Congressmen take only little donations from a whole lot of constituents. MrDelay, on the other hand, only takes huge sums from whores who aren't even his constituents. Then you ask mr coalbier a question like: how much money has he donated to Mr Delay's defense fund?.

Nelson Wells · 3 years ago

Robert,
I've found in my experience that Stephen is afraid of bears.
Bring along a picture of a great big grizzly and throw him off at the faintest sign of a Colbert curve-ball.
cheers, Nelson Wells

Carrie · 3 years ago

I agree with one of the above commentors. The folks who seem to come off best are those who obviously get the joke of Stephen's character and laugh at his jokes, while maintainiing coolness. Those who try to take the character seriously seem to be the ones who get caught in a sticky situation. He'll probably try to simplify the situation by saying something like, 'I like to buy 20-packs of underwear. Why would that destroy America?'

roberto · 3 years ago

don' be afraid to be as goofy or sarcastic or outrageous as colbert is. AND know what your mission is...be as any politician worth there wheaties. don't answer anything, but turn the question around to your agenda and be as wickedly sarcastic as he is. and don't be afraid to mug (distortedly funny facial expressions) it up if perplexed. "you know, you got a point there fella, but try this on for size..." and keep your agenda flowing...stay goofy as a context remembering steve is a goof...enjoy...see you there.

Carlen · 3 years ago

just have all your facts ready about why you criticized the people you featured in your films- so he doesn't paint you as an irrationally angry liberal
im sure he will be on your side though..
just sound confident
good luck--maybe you can have your own segment on his show!

Michael Sadler · 3 years ago

The best way to overcome on-camera anxiety , as most actors will tell you, is to NOT BE YOURSELF. Be someone else.

At the first available opportunity, slip into a trance-like state and claim you are now CHANNELING BILL O'REILLEY.

"I'm sorry, Steven, but I'm getting this TALKING POINTS MEMO" in my head right now...ah, yes....Illegal Imigration...give them all complimentary loofa sponges and send them all back to Central America..."

Since Colbert's personae IS a take-off on Bill O'Reilley, this has many opportunities for humor---matter meets antimatter and anhiliates.

Whatever he says, you respond as though you're channeling Bill O'Reilley. He'll pick up on that quickly enough, and you can both have fun with it and escape with your dignity in tact...hopefully.

Christina · 3 years ago

i agree with Jack's recommendation about the Dartmuth report. it actually mentions the Wal-Mart movie by name and offers you one likely question Colbert will ask: why do limousine liberals like you want to deprive poor Americans of cheap goods?

Ted Tilton Jr. · 3 years ago

Stephen is a master of the wit. The only way to match him or defeat him is with the truth. If you plop a big handle of truth on his ass, his wit will dwindle. Here's what I recommend. Show no fear. Drop the bomb on the reasons to investigate the controlled demolition of 9/11. Here are your resources:

I didn't catch this 3/22/06 media clip on CNN, but Luckily we have the internet

http://www.911truestory.com/ShowbizTonight20060...

And more information:

http://www.911TrueStory.com
http://www.st911.org

Lots of Peace
Trump him with the Truth.

and finally some quotations you won't want to miss out on...

"We are on the verge of a global transformation. All we need is the right major crisis and the nation will accept the New World Order." -- David Rockefeller

"the process of transformation.. is likely to be a long one, absent some catastrophic and catalyzing event - like a new Pearl Harbor." -- PNAC document

Good Luck. I'll be watching :)

anthony warren · 3 years ago

the people that watch the Colbert Report are an untapped resource, in my opinion. if the rest of the nationwide audience this show draws is anything at all like myself and my fellow college-aged viewers, we are already on your side. we're full of ideals such as world peace, charity, equal rights, and all that other liberal stuff. basically we hate how things are being done around the world, and we're still young (and nieve) enough to sincerely believe that we know the best way to do everything.

but the biggest problem is that our ideals are fuzzy. we know how things should be, but our reasoning is oftentimes lacking. so i implore you to give us a solid foundation.

please give Mr. Colbert cold, hard, unambiguous facts. undeniable facts. simple to understand facts. not the kind that Fox would state, that are really just harshly worded nonsense that don't actually justify the point they're trying to make. i loved watching the high cost of low price, but that was months ago. today my reasoning for boycotting Walmart is running thin because i have simply forgotten all those reasons why i shouldn't give in to their low prices.

inspire me. give me basic knowledge that i will hold on to. i'm not asking for a toned-down interview, as displaying urgency is important. what i want you to do is leave me with solid, unquestionable concepts that i'll retain for many years. after i leave my liberal arts campus and start living on my own, earning a paycheck, and paying my taxes, i'm going to need some good reasons why i should still care about this stuff!

so multiply my plea for inspiration by however many million people will be watching. sorry to stress you out, but we need potent information from knowledgable sources such as yourself. you have to understand the full potential of this opportunity.

once you give us a solid basis for these ideals, you need to show us how to act upon them. i'd offer you suggestions, but honestly i'm stuck for ideas here. i bet most viewers are in my same exact predicament, so that's all the more reason for you to be our guide. tell us what we need to do.

just be calm, honest, give potent facts, and offer ways to take realistic action. you'll do fine.

Lisa · 3 years ago

Hi,
Remember this is satire, and it's your job to play the straight guy. Just laugh at what he says before you respond, but answer truthfully, and you will come off looking great!
Good luck,
Lisa

William Ray · 3 years ago

1) do not try to say something funny. Let him have the jokes.
2) adopt the dishonest tactics of Bush etc. when they face actual questions: "To quote the President of the United States, I disagree with the premise of your question. Now I will say anything I want without acknowledging that there WAS a question."
3)to questions like Why are you causing our country, president, troops so much trouble, just say when they have lied to us about September 11, the Iraq War, Medicare, and stolen the economic future of the country of our children, while turning our social and regulatory functions of government into a corpse, they need trouble. In a democracy trouble is patriotic, otherwise lies take the place of reality.
4)If he asks why are you attacking our leaders, the right, etc. reply you're not attacking anybody the facts are. You just run a small shop and you want the Mafia to leave you alone.
5) If he attacks any particular thing in your films, ask , "I'm sure you saw the entire film, studied it thoroughly and are not spitting a hateful sound bit at me about ......in order to discredit it, me, and the rest of humanity if you don't like us.

Matt · 3 years ago

It is a comedy show, so be cool. Roll with the punches and let him make jokes. Make them too if you're comfortable. Don't worry about your answers, or the fact that he will make fun of your answers. Just have fun.

lee · 3 years ago

Wrap yourself in the American Flag (as Colbert is known to do). It'll knock him off his game to show up dressed in just the flag.

Bernie · 3 years ago

Relax and have fun.

AND DO NOT TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY.

Some of the stuff that has happened in the past 10 years (yes, I know, that includes Bill Clinton's stupid behavior in the White House as well) deserves to be laughed at because it is all so outrageous and unbelieveable....is this county great or what?

Remember, we survived Joe McCarthy. We'll survive Tom Delay, Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, George W., Dick Cheney, Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes, Gonzales, Abramoff..... the crazies on the right...... Sheesh! We have quite a bit of laughing to do....

I know eventually we'll straighten this ship of state out, but Stephen Colbert is doing his part to make us laugh at ourselves. You are going to be just fine.

Oh, one last thing, if all else fails: Mug for the camera whenever you don't know how to respond....

oldwobbly · 3 years ago

Got a bear costume? Rent one.

Evan Mack · 3 years ago

Head him off at the pass! When he announces guests he does not let the guest enter. In fact, he lets the crowd cheer as he runs into the interview room where the guest is already sitting. Go for the knock-out punch and when he announces your name--run into the room he is already in. That will throw him WAY OFF

Jim Turnage · 3 years ago

Robert,

I love the show and it's spoof of Fox news. What a coup to be asked to be on the show. My advice:
1) Trust "The Force"
2) Seriously, the producers of the show and Stephen want to make you look good and help spread the message
3) Don't compete w/ Stephen- it's his show and he's on your side
4) Your work speaks for itself
5) We have faith in you and your work
6) Have fun! I wish I were going on the show.

Jim

ELEDA LUTHER · 3 years ago

"The truth sets us free". We progressives have the "truth", on our side. You are a progressive. It has become painfully obvious that the staunch defenders of GW and his crowd are seriously lacking in honor and truth. The only thing any of them care about is profit margins, power mongering and war mongering. All one need do is watch documentaries produced by you and other brave souls such as: "Uncovered, "Outfoxed", "Loose Change", "JFK II", "Beyond Betrayal", "Farhenheit 911", "Walmart The High Cost Of The Low Prices", to see
"there really is no honor among thieves and thugs". I have never watched "The Colbert Report" so I don't know what it is. I do know when one is armed with truth and honor there is nothing to fear but fear itself. It is those who are arrogant, greedy, willing to do anything for profit margins and power who should be fearful. I believe when most American's know the absolute truth with respect to what has really been going on in America not only for the last 6 years, but for the last 56 years, it will be brave souls like you who demonstrated the courage to stand up for what is right, demonstrated the courage to expose the truth, and tirelessly researched the facts who will be standing front and center and applauded.

Pat Bowen · 3 years ago

I couldn't really tell you what to ask him or what he will ask. But, whatever you do, do not allow him to put you in a defensive position. Stay on track with your issues. If you start defending your issues and ideas you will have lost your position, and he will eat you up.

You have made a good decision going on this program. This is the best show on TV. Your son has great taste Don't tell him he his favorite show is shared as a favorite by a 55 year old.

tim · 3 years ago

If you get confused because you are "out of place" while he is not, just say.."Is this show a repeat? I swear I have been here before" and then look at his back and remark, "where's the hole in your back? "Or is O'Reily's hand too small to notice where it goes?"

John in NC · 3 years ago

Bear in mind that his whole "attack the liberals" thing is pure lampoon. It's formulaic, yet still hilarious. I'm not sure why so many think that he hates people criticizing the President: He does it himself every night.

But he WILL use you as a straw-doll to facetiously attack liberalism. Don't sweat it. It's all a joke. A brilliant joke that occasionally helps millions of viewers learn something they would never had learned otherwise.

I like the ideas of telling him a joke on yourself, or giving him a silly gift. Red white and blue loofa is brilliant.

Also, he might tease you about the fact that all your films look the same. Call his staff, given them this idea, ask what he'll be wearing, dress exactly like him, then you'll give him a joke to use.

Relax, enjoy, it'll be over quickly.

john pitcavage · 3 years ago

Mr. Coldbeer is going to ask you what's wrong with buying a congressman, 'as American as applemotherhood'. You tell him : that sounds like what Miles Davis responded to Calvin Trillin when he reminded Mr Davis that he had once been a pimp: "What's wrong with that?" You can also tell him yea but there's a right way and a wrong. Good Congressmen take only little donations from a whole lot of constituents. MrDelay, on the other hand, only takes huge sums from whores who aren't even his constituents. Then you ask mr coalbier a question like: how much money has he donated to Mr Delay's defense fund?. Goodluck actuarially yours john pitcavage

Matt · 3 years ago

Several weeks ago, near the end of March, the author of "The End of Poverty" was on the show. He made it clear, quickly and concisely, that he had something important to say. There was definitely some humor in the interview, but at some point, he managed to get Colbert to listen politely. I think it was because he wasn't playing games or trying to be cool. He was being sincere in his efforts to make the world a better place, and I think Colbert responded to that. If you haven't seen this episode, it's definitely worth a viewing, it was quite unlike any other.

ccb · 3 years ago

The Al Franken interview was brilliant.

Ted Tilton Jr. · 3 years ago

Just Be Yourself.

don't listen to all of the calculated advice etc like AL Gore and John Kerry did. It is too much and will shoot you in the foot.

The Heart. Follow it.

We love you anyway.

Annette M. · 3 years ago

I thought Al Franken handled him quite well. I also enjoyed Colbert's interview with Tim Robbins. Good luck to you. I'll be watching.

Brent · 3 years ago

Just go with the flow. Don't take anything he says too seriously. Just try to get your message across and remember that he's making fun of people like Bill O'Reilly, not emulating them. You will need to think quickly and have an amazing amount of wit to be able to keep up with him, and since by far the vast majority of people could never hope to be able to do so, the best you can hope for is that people will be able to understand your message and that they will also be able to understand that you know that he doesn't believe what he's saying. Probably the worst thing you could do would be to get in a shouting match with him. Just be thankful that he's on our side and has the guts to make fun of pinheads like Bill O'Reilly.

Feinberg · 3 years ago

Wear a Wal-Mart cap and t-shirt....you are not against Wal-Mart...just against their policies. We can turn Wal-Mart around to be a force for peace, good and justice.

Jerry Koenig · 3 years ago

You can respond to the problem's of our time with my following contributed HAIKU's.
"On the first morning
The planet knew only peace
Then along came man"
and
"Remember when asked
Describe today's world's future
Even heroes cry"
Haiku - the martial art of Poetry. Little's a lot !

Ted Tilton Jr. · 3 years ago

Just Be Yourself.

don't try to follow all of the calculated advice you receive etc like AL Gore and John Kerry did. It is too much and will shoot you in the foot.

The Heart. Follow it.

LOL = Lots of Love.

Carla · 3 years ago

You're all ready playing his game. Your movie pointed out its own patriotism multiple times to the god-fearing folks to whom it was directed. Point out all the ways that WalMart hurts America. If he disagrees, don't reason with him, fire back innane open-ended questions like "Why do you hate America SO MUCH, Stephen?" Don't let him have all the laughs, take some for yourself. Better still, get him laughing.

Mary from a sadly red state · 3 years ago

Read "America: the Book"- although technically "John Stewart" is the author- a whole slew of writers contributed- including Colbert and surely people who are writing for him now.
Just know it is a comedy show and he is going to try to throw zingers at you- play devil's adversary (or ultra-conservative, as the case may be)- but generally when he argues a point from the right, he purposely makes his own arguments look ridiculous, so he has done half your job for you. Just have a sense of humor- it is the guests who try to be too uptight and serious that look stupid. Point out the flaws in logic with a good nature about it.
Coming up with a couple jokes about Tom Delay would be a good idea.
Best of luck to you.

PS If all else fails and he backs you in the corner- you could ask him about Lord of the Rings. He is a true geek in that regard and knows every little detail of the whole thing.

Craig · 3 years ago

Colbert is maestro of wordsmithing...he is quick, and is able to play 'hardball' in a way Chris Matthews could only dream...

Even though he will undoubtedly ask you something like "Why do you hate 'do-gooders,' do you have a secret pact with the devil, Hillary Clinton?", remember that he is on our side.

As others have said...it's about wit.

Be witty...be very very witty. Those that do best are the ones who can actually throw pun(che)s back!

Best of luck...we'll be watching in MI!

Jerry Koenig · 3 years ago

You can respond to the problem's of our time with my following contributed HAIKU's.
"On the first morning
The planet knew only peace
Then along came man"
and
"Remember when asked
Describe today's world's future
Even heroes cry"
Haiku - the martial art of Poetry. Little's a lot !

Joe Shea · 3 years ago

I've got it, Robert. Colbert will try to use your words against you (in a funny way, of course). So - only speak Pig Latin until he agrees to lay off! :)

Good luck, and good luck!

Joe Shea
Bradenton, Fla.

Tom Atkinson · 3 years ago

You should bring Steven a present. A little Jesus/G.I. Joe doll with bible, M60 machine gun, rosary beads, grenade launcher, the works. Onward Christian soldier. He's love that.

Wayne A Lewis · 3 years ago

Stewart and Colbert is about all I watch besides Now on TV. I always get the impression that he is very liberal and jus tuses his "pro-conservative" stance as a basis for his satire. I think you will walk away with all your dignity intact.

Those of us who watch your films will continue to do so.

Pete · 3 years ago

Whenever he asks you "why" you do "this" or "why" you do "that" Just say " Well - it's because ,as you well know Stephen, like the president - I've got really BIG BALLS. " That'll crack him, I'm sure.
Good luck. Try to get your message across but have some fun.

Daisey · 3 years ago

I think you just need to read these 3 posts:

Posted by: Lance Webster at March 27, 2006 09:42 AM
Posted by: Ace Starry at March 27, 2006 09:37 AM
Posted by: rocknation at March 27, 2006 09:34 AM
That about sums it all up!

Charles Rhea · 3 years ago

Be honest. We read your e-mails and web page materials because we believe in personal responsibility - OUR own personal responsibility. We believe that voting at the polls is only a small part of the solution to problems in our world. We believe that we vote with our dollars and our time. We believe that we ourselves are part of the problem and we must change our own personal spending and living habits to move toward the solution.

I would suggest to you that speaking with Mr. Colbert is less of an invitation to a sparring match than an opportunity to open the door to a mass media audience. Your audience is probably a pretty narrow slice of "cause oreinted" people. You will not be accepted and lauded by the general populace because what you propose is not simple or easy. It is not cool or hip. Recently in a restaurant, when my friend and I pulled out the seafood eco/health choice card I found through your website, I changed my order to catfish - not my first choice. Who wants that?

You voice an idea which must occur if we are to move toward a sustainable existence, but you will be received like a voice in the wilderness.

Admit when you are wrong. Admit that you are extremely idealistic and that most people probably will not want to give you the time of day. Tell him you believe that what you are doing is meaningful and worthwhile - because I assure you it is. Let him have his fun with you and embrace the fact that you have agreed to go on public display for purely entertainment purposes. Have your fun with him.

For goodness sake don't get self-righteous. I am as much to blame for the oil gluttonousnees which "fueled" the Iraq war as the next American. We are all part of it.

You are a good man for spending so much time and effort to distribute useful information to people like me. Who cares what questions he will ask. You know what you do, tell him. Tell others. Get the word out. Be our mouthpiece. Our thoughts and prayers will go with you. I won't watch - I don't have TV. I don't care how it comes out, except that the ideas you promulgate get another little boost into the mainstream American psyche.

Patricia Leslie · 3 years ago

Bravo!!! HAHAHAHA

What a great show! I love Colbert (and Jon Stewart). What a great opportunity you have in store for you! To broadcast your films to a targeted (young, impressionable) audience!
Have a great time and just enjoy yourself, not taking anything T000000000 seriously.

George · 3 years ago

First rule: don't display our advice and tips in public, like this blog! Who do you think is going to be first to look at it? Begins with C. Ah, well, it's done now - both touching and amusing! 'Save my ass' appeals to all the savvy, caring people. Brilliant. C may even be one of us, behind the appearances.

Keep in mind that many thousands of big hearted, thinking human beings are lined up behind your integrity, not behind media profit motive. Wishing you an effective and enjoyable experience, George

Ken C. · 3 years ago

If all else fails, pull a "Tom Cruise" and start jumping up and down on your chair yelling "I love bears."

MGiles · 3 years ago

I think you already got him with this blog. It's interesting that so many people think you are really looking for advice. You are funnier than Colbert is! Tell him THAT.

sdragon · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald, nice try, but REAL fans of Stephen would never enable to you dodge the blinding light of Truth that is Stephen's piercing questions. It's nice that you like exposing WalMart and other menaces to society on your own terms, but it's time to show some spine and face Stephen mano a mano.

You're not scared of the Truth, are you, Mr. Greewald? ;)

Mari Morsell · 3 years ago

Whatever questions he asks or whenever you are stumped for a comeback, just say to him, "Well, that's just your version of thruthiness.

Callen Damornen · 3 years ago

Bring along a BLT sandwhich and he will love you for it. Above all, have a sense of humour. Please do not discuss the bears!!!

Liz · 3 years ago

Look at Michael Moore's interviews with people who try to make mincemeat of him. Being calm and having the facts available is a good strategy. So is not being too serious. But, most of all, remember that you are standing up for people who don't have a voice. So, when someone makes fun of the victimized, they have placed themselves in a vulnerable position. The dignity to be lost isn't yours - you are just the courier, the spokesman. The people who have been victimized and oppressed by these neocons are the people you are speaking for. So, remember your heart and speak up! Don't be a coward, be brazen!!!
Best of luck,

Barny Wong · 3 years ago

Show Steve that he doesnot have to operate on the destructive impulse of an egoic mind by out maneuvering, calculating, measuring, upstaging. How can you level the field?

Just remind him you don't have a team like he does. That behind his singular appearance belies a juggernaut that can bully if it wants to (Nielsen ratings don't reward bullies).

Invite Steve to dialogue as Steve the individual, not the juggernaut bent on handing people's asses in their hands.

Jeff · 3 years ago

That's great news that you will be on the Colbert Report! His interviews are always entertaining and always remember it's all in good fun, his show was designed to make fun of people like Bill O'Reilly.

Prep yourself by watching some of his past interviews like Olbermann and Huffington


(copy/paste)
http://del.icio.us/ThrowawayyourTV/Stephen.Colb...

Tyson Henry · 3 years ago

Steven's character's goal is to make fools out of the guests. Guests that don't let him make a fool out of them (1) look foolish for not accepting the premis of the show and (2) egg him on. So let him (or help him) make a fool out of you. There is a good chance he will use your e-mail and this web-page to make fun of you. This is the FIRST time one of his guests solicited help from his followers.

Steve Scherf · 3 years ago

Robert, you are the king of exposing those who have something to hide. How is Colbert any different? Fox tries to hide its right wing agenda, and you exposed it. Etc. Colbert is a liberal posing as a right wing nutbag pundit. Why can't you just expose him as the liberal he really is, and on his own show to boot?

I suggest you come prepared to show the world how he has duped them. It should all be done in good fun, of course, but with mock seriousness. This is the *only* way to combat him - with humor, but at his expense.

Good luck,
Steve

david Spiro · 3 years ago

YOU ARE AT HIS MERSEY. They will edit the show to their advantage - to make you the straight man and him the funny one. He has a entire staff who's only reason for existence is to make him the funny one. If you go in there thinking you can 'out funny him' or have 'a good comeback' YOU WILL NOT LOOK GOOD! I've done production video BUT if I tried to compete with Brave New Films I'd look like an idiot trying to do the things you do so well. Your beliefs are right and true, and YOU ARE BRAVE enough to face him. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO HIDE? NOTHING! Just state the facts. LET HIM BE FUNNY, let him do his Bill O'Reilly thing. If you are honest, there is no way he can make you look bad. Answer as if Bill O'Reilly asked, but remember Steven Colbert is about 10 times smarter then Bill O'Rielly and I'm guessing Colbert is on your side.
You have a duty to your son, your films, your beliefs, and this country to spread the word and bring these corrupt companies, and politicians to the attention of the american people. Don't loose sight of your real passion while trying to compete and be funny against someone who does it for a living.
You'll do great. Good luck, we'll be watching.

John Tsirakidis · 3 years ago

If you want I'll take your place or come with you, it's not like I could find a job since my date of Termination from walmart 12/29/2005.
Yeah that's right they got rid of me after almost 4 years, and everywhere I have gone for work , I don't even get a response from, cause of these ignorant phuckers here in the South.

If you need help , e-mail me, I would love to help you out, maybe you could help me out too, who knows. Don't show any fear, and Show No Mercy. Take him down, as quick as you can. Don't let him get the satisfaction of making you look like an Azz, when you could make him look like a JackAzz. Give the Facts , Figures, and be Straight Blunt, and tell it to his Face. If you need to Contact me, metaldrummer35@aol.com, and no im not scared of the Public, and yes that's my real name listed.

LALabor · 3 years ago

His show honors the truth if you keep hammering it through. Don't let his digs side track you. Stick with what you know and what BNF stands for - the truth.

Sadie · 3 years ago

Two suggestions:

1. Remember it is comedy.
2. Read "Steve" near the top of the stack here. Maybe twice.

Lucille Adinolf, PhD · 3 years ago

Colbert is not funny, but he is Not two-faced, solipsistic, crooks like Greenwald and his group, democracyinaction.org.

We plan to write to Colbert and define our experiences with your group to him, and we will encourage everyone in the world we know, to do likewise.

We wrote to MoveOn about your democracyinaction.org's nasty practices. It had no interest in factual feedback.

So, Thank you so much for alerting us to the upcoming event.

kelly · 3 years ago

Don't worry, I'm sure Colbert already loves you. He will ask you questions like whether you hate America, because you criticize its biggest retailer. He will ask you what you have against the Chinese people who make their products. You should just laugh and give him the facts.

Natasha · 3 years ago

Laugh at him. People who don't laugh look like suckers. Laugh and laugh, but stay on point. Don't let his silly comments veer you off topic. Continue to reframe your argument, and force HIM to concede a point. Maybe even stand up and offer yourself to the audience as Colbert does his victory lap in front of the audience before he sits down with you. Let the audience cheer YOU! At the end of the interview, stand again, and raise your arms, giving the audience an opportunity to offer up their adulation. Maybe Steve will bow down to you in the end!

annika · 3 years ago

Don't forget to ask him for his autograph for your son and be sure to mention that his show is your son's favorite. He's pretending to be a narcissisist, after all. pander to that .
If you want to watch an educational episode, watch the Al Franken interview. I LOVE Al. But it wasn't that good.

The first thing he'll ask you is, "Why do you hate America? That would be standard fare. And if he asks you, "George Bush.... Great President, or the GREATEST?" You can think carefully and say, "I think he definitely deserves the moniker of GREATEST fiasco. Yes. I think I'd go with GREATEST. Fiasco."

It helps if you laugh at his satire to show that you KNOW he's kidding in everything he says. And then hammer home ONE point, one really strong point. You don't have a lot of time.

jack block · 3 years ago

mr greenwald
stephen loves playing o'reilly's
dimmer brother
suggest that he used his gayness
to manipulate jon stewert
into helping him to create
the colbert report
& that he's against the troops
it's either you or him
we'll be watching
thanks for your work
jack & mia block

Eva · 3 years ago

A few people mentioned referring to "The 40 Year Old Virgin," just wanted to clarify that Stephen Colbert wasn't actually in that, it was another former Daily Show correspondent Steve Carell. Although the joke may be that it's hard for people to tell them apart.

nick jacobs · 3 years ago

Dear Mr. Greenwald:
I contacted you during the Wal-Mart film campaign to offer a portion of my radio show for an interview on a four hour non commercial show on WPKN Bridgeport CT 89.5 FM and WPKM Montauk NY 88.7 FM. I offered at least an hour of air time and also explained my strong opposition to Wal- Mart and the facts of how a friend of mine had his store, (a favorite of locals for years and mine as well) brutally shut down by their policies. WPKN-PKM covers half of Long Island and half of CT as well as large chunks of NY - Westchester, Putnam counties -so it would make a good location for air time.
One of your producers very kindly responded to my offer and asked me to specify air time, dates,and indicate which producers out of your group would be best suited for interviewing as well as what aspects of the film would interest me the most in terms of on air discussion. I responded with a fairly careful email.
Unfortunately after that the thread of communication was lost and I heard nothing more from you or your producers that was specific to me or my radio program.
So: an extensive review-interview was lost with a well informed, sympathetic, highly skilled and very enthusiastic host in an airspace covering some of the most densely populated areas around the NY metro region and with internet exposure too.
My ego was not offended.....not at all...and I understood that you may have been wildly busy at that time and struggling to keep up with the tasks of launching the new film.I support and commend your efforts to try and inform the american public of some of the truths of our times and will support your efforts in the future.
I am however struck at this time by the paradox of how I feel about recieving numerous automatic mass marketing style emails from your organization after having been left hanging about an extensive interview that I offered at your convenience for a date just a day or so before your film launching.No follow up or explanation or communication was ever sent - I just keep recieving these mass marketing style updates and solicitations.
Perhaps WPKN- PKM is not important enough or famous enough or large enough for an hour or a half hour or even 15 minutes of your producers time( although we are the home of Scott Harris' Nationally syndicated Counterpoint and Between The LInes award winning alternative political programs).Nor are we as famous as Colbert or Snowlbert or Snowboat or Showboat or whatever programs you are asking me to help you survive.
My question is this: If WPKN (alternative,non commercial, independent, fiesty, listener supported radio) is NOT worthy of a response from your organization then what radio station IS?

Do keep up the good work.

Sincerely, grumbly, fiesty, respect-er-fully curmudgeonly, yours; Nick Jacobs

Andy Benton · 3 years ago

If you're suddenly stumped, throw in a Winston Churchill quote. He made some great comments about democracy...

Jemilah Magnusson · 3 years ago

One show to watch if you can was his interview with Anderson Cooper - I thought Cooper was brilliant and amusingly self-deprecating. I'm sure Colbert will probably be a little faux harder on you than he was on Anderson, but just not taking himself too seriously, and surviving the fact that Colbert called him on being the former host of "The Mole", makes him one to study.

nick jacobs · 3 years ago

Dear Mr. Greenwald:
I contacted you during the Wal-Mart film campaign to offer a portion of my radio show for an interview on a four hour non commercial show on WPKN Bridgeport CT 89.5 FM and WPKM Montauk NY 88.7 FM. I offered at least an hour of air time and also explained my strong opposition to Wal- Mart and the facts of how a friend of mine had his store, (a favorite of locals for years and mine as well) brutally shut down by their policies. WPKN-PKM covers half of Long Island and half of CT as well as large chunks of NY - Westchester, Putnam counties -so it would make a good location for air time.
One of your producers very kindly responded to my offer and asked me to specify air time, dates,and indicate which producers out of your group would be best suited for interviewing as well as what aspects of the film would interest me the most in terms of on air discussion. I responded with a fairly careful email.
Unfortunately after that the thread of communication was lost and I heard nothing more from you or your producers that was specific to me or my radio program.
So: an extensive review-interview was lost with a well informed, sympathetic, highly skilled and very enthusiastic host in an airspace covering some of the most densely populated areas around the NY metro region and with internet exposure too.
My ego was not offended.....not at all...and I understood that you may have been wildly busy at that time and struggling to keep up with the tasks of launching the new film.I support and commend your efforts to try and inform the american public of some of the truths of our times and will support your efforts in the future.
I am however struck at this time by the paradox of how I feel about recieving numerous automatic mass marketing style emails from your organization after having been left hanging about an extensive interview that I offered at your convenience for a date just a day or so before your film launching.No follow up or explanation or communication was ever sent - I just keep recieving these mass marketing style updates and solicitations.
Perhaps WPKN- PKM is not important enough or famous enough or large enough for an hour or a half hour or even 15 minutes of your producers time( although we are the home of Scott Harris' Nationally syndicated Counterpoint and Between The LInes award winning alternative political programs).Nor are we as famous as Colbert or Snowlbert or Snowboat or Showboat or whatever programs you are asking me to help you survive.
My question is this: If WPKN (alternative,non commercial, independent, fiesty, listener supported radio) is NOT worthy of a response from your organization then what radio station IS?

Do keep up the good work.

Sincerely, grumbly, fiesty, respect-er-fully curmudgeonly, yours; Nick Jacobs

sharappa · 3 years ago

YOU got Great comments here!
Wrapping yourself, literally, in an American Flag 'made in china' , is a nice touch.

Robbie · 3 years ago

Much of the above advice is right. Martha Whitehouse at 9:02 AM says it short and sweet.
Colbert is about as smart and sharp as human beings come. And he's had years of practice improvising. You're not going to wow him with a pre thought out line or shtick. He'll bat it back at you and you could be left standing flat footed and feeling foolish. He want's you to accept his premise (his character) and he wants your point to be made and be heard (that's why he's having you on). Talk to him almost as if you believed you are talking to the person he pretends to be; a high end, well meaning, cliche addled fool. But somehow let your manner show that you understand it's a game. Keep your eyes on the prize; your message not your pride.
It's a terrific opportunity. You'll do fine.

Ho · 3 years ago

Just remember that Stephen C has a smart and scathing wit and you won't be able to "Beat" him, especially on his home turf. The best thing to do is just relax, try to get a few key points across, and don't let him scath you. Remember it's a satire and have fun!

Good luck.....You'll more then need it >8)

P.S.-Keep turning out the good docudramas keeping an eye on the big scams our country is facing!

Jemilah Magnusson · 3 years ago

One more - in addition to the 40 year old virgin comments, you can also reference "Strangers with Candy" - that Colbert appeared in.

richard rogers · 3 years ago

no matter how outrageous his statement or question is be moree outrageous, dont worry about looking hypocritcal, remember this is a comedy show, very satirical and not very politically correct. One downside of course is that your enemies will always take out of context any remarks you make but they are going to do that anyway so who really cares about them unless you are runnng for office or going for a government contract

EugeneK · 3 years ago

The way Steven Colbert operates is by using your answers against you. Don't ever answer with a straight sentence- leave it open-ended. (e.g. The way Walmart is going, it can't be good.) What can't be good? Blah blah blah.
Another thing to remember is that Steven Colbert will not let you speak out of order, so make sure you take your time with your answer and don't try to interrupt him.
You can easily throw off Steven Colbert by agreeing with his questions, laughing, and then saying, "but really, in all honesty, etc."
If you compliment him, you will only be looking like a slut. Don't do it. No gifts either.
If you start to feel the heat just remember that his show needs ratings, and he will be desperate for laughs. Make sure to be able to laugh at yourself, but to laugh at him even more! Hope this helps!

Tamarski · 3 years ago

His favorite question: "George Bush - Great President, or the Greatest President Ever." No right answer.
How about "You have got to be kidding me, Stephen, where have you been the last 5 years?"

Tchen · 3 years ago

Stephen is a lot nicer to the people he interviews in front of a live audience than the congressional representatives. I think when it's live, he has a harder time keeping in character. The real Stephen really likes people, all people, and wants to be liked himself.

Of course, Stephen is brilliant at improv. Check out last week's interview of Dan Senor on the comedy central website. Another brilliant interview was with Al Franken. Of course, it's too hard to model oneself after Al, but see how they both play along.

Don't think of this as a time to really express your point of view. Stephen will do it for you. You'll sell best by just being likable.

The important thing is not to take yourself seriously. In fact, self-deprication works really well. You can be funny, but you're not the professional comedian so don't try too hard. If you make it a competition, you'll lose.

Jan Peterson · 3 years ago

New American Century Dictionery
of Politically Correct
Neo-Conservative Terminologies


Alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.

Bankruptcy n. 1. A punishable crime when committed by poor people. 2. A responsible business decision when exercised by corporations. 3. The condition of America after Dubya (no more stinkin' liberal entitlement programs to deal with).

Compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.

Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.

Climate change n. 1. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans. 2. A heretical belief that should be punishable by death if not publicly recanted.

Creationism n. Pseudo science that claims George W. Bush's resemblance to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.

Conservative n. 1. [archaic]: One who believed in small government, honesty, balanced budgets, responsibility and accountability. 2. [current] One who believes in unquestioning loyalty without the necessity of all that other baggage.

Corruption n. An outmoded concept that has outlived its usefulness. No longer applicable.

DeLay, Tom. 1. v. Past tense of De Lie; 2. n. Patronage saint.
 
Democracy n. A saleable commodity so extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.

Election n. Political theater for the masses with results predetermined by Diebold.

Emergency Preparedness n. A bureaucratic exercise in finding incompetents to place in positions of authority in order to get kick-backs [aka political contributions] from their exorbitant tax-payer-funded salaries.

Faith n. Jesus would say Dubya has your best interests at heart... honest!

Fox News n. [Probably an Anglicism of the French; Faux News] Fiction. 

Free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense. 

Girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately. 

Growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.

Habeas corpus n. [Lat.] Archaic Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act).

Health Insurance n. 1. A policy to deal with unexpected health problems, funded by taxpayers, if you are a Congressman. 2. An unaffordable financial drain for all individuals who are not in the top 1% income bracket.

Healthy forest n. No tree left behind.

House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million.

Honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Things are going well in Iraq."

Intelligence n. Reports issued by the NSA, CIA and FBI that say whatever Cheney and Rumsfeld tell them to say.

Intelligent Design n. A science wherein objective observations are suppressed and discarded in favor of a preordained belief system.

Iran n. The next middle-eastern puppet “democracy” to be established through bombing.

Laziness n. Term used to describe any period of time when the poor are not working.

Leisure time n. Term used to describe any period of time when the wealthy are not working.

Lobbyist n. Former government employee responsible for rubber-stamping decisions made by his current employer.

Neo-con n. 1. New con job (see truth). 2. Those who execute new con jobs.

No Child Left Behind n.  Government policy that insures success for all through guaranteed jobs in the military.

Non-profit Organization n. A totally unimportant and irrellevant concept.

Ownership society n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.

Patriot Act n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.

Pension n. 1. [archaic] A contractually-obligated responsibility of a company to reward loyal workers with a livable stipend at retirement. 2. [current useage] An unaffordable business liability that stands in the way of larger CEO bonuses.

Pro-life adj. Term used to describe those who value and fund control of human life from conception until birth, regardless of the wishes of those actually involved.

Public Good n. What? It’s the age of global corporations: get with the program!

Roadless areas n. An example of ancient American history.

Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million. 

Simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.

Stay the course interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same insane thing over and over, regardless of the result.

Social Security n. An unjustified redistribustion of wealth to the undeserving [see Pension].

Terrorists n.(pl) All who disagree with President Bush.

Tort Reform n. A methodology for making profits without regard to the effectiveness or safety of products and/or services rendered.

Truth n. Lies repeated until they are accepted as truth.

Voter fraud n. A term used to describe significant minority turnout. 

Wal-Mart n.  Model for the future nation-state. 

Water n. Arsenic storage device. 

Woman n. 1. Person who can be trusted to bear a child but can't be trusted to decide whether or not she wishes to have the child. 2. Person who must have all decisions regarding her reproductive functions made by men with whom she wouldn't want to have sex in the first place.

9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy.

George Lakoff · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

When he asks you why you hate America, say, "There's a lot of money in it. There's money in peace and prosperity, in truth and and ethical business practices. My films are raking it in. It's what people want."

George Lakoff

George Lakoff · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

When he asks you why you hate America, say, "There's a lot of money in it. There's money in peace and prosperity, in truth and and ethical business practices. My films are raking it in. It's what people want."

George Lakoff

Chuck Beers · 3 years ago

First of all... thanks for all that you do in exposing corruption.

I watch the Comedy Central "Faux News" like "The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" faithfully... I do NOT watch "FOX Faux News" since the invasion of Iraq for obvious reasons. I have purchased and promoted your films like "Outfoxed", "Walmart" & "Uncovered". Assuming that you know Colbert is only faking tongue-in-cheek attitudes and attacks from right wing spinners and so-called pundits, it gives you the opportunity to address the critical issues in the comical context of his show. His guests that react like he's serious about his delivery seem to be stiff and "out of it"... quick witted comebacks seem to be what he's trying to get. If I were in the hot seat as you, I'd add a little humorous visual aid before he got going on you... Ask Colbert to wait a second and quickly take out of your pocket or briefcase, or have set up in front of you with a cover over it ... a mini DV camera on a miniature tripod to film his interview for your next film or ad. This should help level the playing field and quickly establish what you're about in a "Cool" way... remember he will be anticipating your comebacks just as you're anticipating his. Coming off as a cool customer gives you credibility without being made a fool!

Have fun with it and good luck!

richard rogers · 3 years ago

no matter how outrageous his statement or question is be moree outrageous, dont worry about looking hypocritcal, remember this is a comedy show, very satirical and not very politically correct. One downside of course is that your enemies will always take out of context any remarks you make but they are going to do that anyway so who really cares about them unless you are runnng for office or going for a government contract

Sean · 3 years ago

I suggest you keep a paper bag with eyeholes cut into it, in your pocket, so when the going gets rough you can slip it over your head and continue the interview in anonymity. You could use a designer bag to distract him even more, maybe one that says, "Greenpeace!"

Good luck!

Helen Sudul · 3 years ago

Dear Giraffe,
Ony those in life who stick thier neck can
really create change.
Firstly congradulations! Tom Delay is
currently on the menu for those seeking a
political drumstick... I think this very good
timing.
Satire is rich and very effective. I recently
wrote a poem asking my fellow Democrats
to send money to Angellides to knock off
ARNOLD. I simply said "Brother, Can you
spare a dime?"
I like the flattery suggestion and above
keep in the good graces of your host.
Sincerely
Helen Sudul

Robin · 3 years ago

Do's:
Do study up on past shows/interviews.
Do relax and enjoy sitting across from Stephen; it should be fun.
Do expect him to make some jokes about you (maybe think of one for him?).
Do realize he knows you don't have a team of specialists.
Do let him guide you if you are nervous.
Do try to get your points heard in the midst of the laughter.
Don't's:
Don't suck up excessively; everyone will see and that would be embarrassing.
Don't let the fun get you too far off topic.
Don't forget to breathe and enjoy!

John · 3 years ago

Satire? Do you mean that Colbert is not serious? You guys pullin' my leg? Now that goofy Bill guy on FOX; that's satire!

John Tsirakidis · 3 years ago

Teach this Guy what it means to follow the United States Constitution, Americans have forgotten all about the U.S. and are worrying about the peeps overseas, when we have Problems of our own here. I would Love to see the day when ALL Imigrants let into the Country because BUSH has Mexicans in his family(and allows the illegals to come in and take our Jobs, Our American Jobs), and we get nothing in return. I have no Problems with illegals, nor with anyone from any country, but if you come to the United States, then become a Citizen, or there's the Door, Get out, you're free to leave at anytime. And What's all this good treatment Bush is giving illegals, to as where, they get Free, Social Security, Health Benefits, and Free Housing?, But yet "We The People" , have to pay taxes for Them?, That's Bull Shit!.

We know the President got voted in by cheating, hey All Poloticians Lie, but when Democrats screw up they admit it, and step down, or they get impeached, accept it and move on, but no, the Republicans can't do that. There's a Saying" Never Bullshit A Bullshitter". , And that's what Polotics are to me. All a fucken game, to get into Office and then Fuck over the People. I say it like I see it, Like it is, and no one can't stop me because , it's called "Freedom Of Speech".

I am no one's Slave. and I will continue to fight WalMart Single handedly as I have done for the Past 5 years. I believe WalMart Terminated me because I am a Firm Believer of Unions, been in em for over 20+ years. , And if WalMart appreciates it's Associates , don't you think they would have let them get a Union by now, it's only been 10 years, that they've been firing employees that believe in Unions, but as long as you have Corrupt Poloticians in Office, whether Republican,Democrat, or either Independant, and you let Big Box Businessess do what they Please, because they could pay off the Goverment, DOL, and even the President, then Anything could happen.

If Businessess like WalMart, believed in their Employees, then why are they fighting them every step of the way, why can't they provide free health care, why are their prices on Groceries higher than Union Grocerie Stores?, They never have a straight answer, they never give answers, they always shut the door in your face , ALWAYS!.

Anita Levine · 3 years ago

Hi Robert!
I'm one who doesn't watch Colbert, although I have watched The Daily Show. With Bush at a 33% approval rating, I don't think you have too much to worry about it. Supporting the war in Iraq, Walmart and all the other issues (with the possible exception of Fox news) is pretty much out of the question.
No matter what happens, though, I believe you have what it takes to weather the storm and get the message out.
Letting each of your messages speak for itself would be the strategy I'd use-- concentrate on the issues rather than anyone's personality. Don't be afraid to ask Colbert for his opinion either-- I doubt he's too conservative.
Good luck!

Al Boyce · 3 years ago

Remember, you are not being interviewed by Stephen Colbert - the person, but rather by the "Stephen Colbert Repor(t)" character - which was created by the VERY-lefty Stephen Colbert comedian. Even in his skewerings, he (the person) is attempting to satirize O'Reilly and his ilk on the far right. HE IS ON YOUR SIDE!!!

So... have FUN with it! Let him make his jokes and know that you WIN no matter what happens!

Also, be assured that Stephen and his staff have read ALL of these suggestions on your website.... ;-D

- Al

Nancy Nangeroni · 3 years ago

1) Have fun! Not by laughing mindlessly at his (brilliant) antics, but by sticking to your guns and upping the ante at every opportunity.

2) Join in the sarcasm, miss no opportunity to laud Bush for his generosity in providing a training ground for axis of evil membership, for standing firm against the interference of science with the important job of running our country (and clearing brush from his ranch). The list could go on forever; keep a few handy.

3) Breathe deeply. Relax.

4) Remain yourself. He's lampooning the right, if you can't join the lampoon, then play the hapless liberal who's condemned to see through the emperor's lack of clothes while all about him deny their absence. It's a tough role, but somebody's gotta play it.

5) Have fun.

Ben Garcia · 3 years ago

Remember, this is satirical comedy, not the FOX News Channel! Be jovial, be honest, speak the truth; don't try to tell jokes, the truth is amusing enough. Think about the kind of people who watch his show and the Daily Show, those are your supporters! When the crowd's on your side, Steven can't touch you! Above all, don't take yourself or Mr. Colbert seriously, instead take your answers to his questions seriously. You'll do fine!

Nancy Nangeroni · 3 years ago

Damn, misspelled my website in my previous post. How lame is that? Click me on this one.

Annabelle Leviton · 3 years ago

An answer to every provocative and ridiculous question is

"Wow!, you are really a funny man" What can he say after that?

Phoenix Woman · 3 years ago

Some advice from my co-blogger Charles:

http://phoenixwoman.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-adv...

L. Hillemann · 3 years ago

I forgot about the Lord of the Rings connection - "It's not that I hate America, it's just that I love Middle Earth SO MUCH...and if you noticed, there were no Walmarts there."

"President Bush may be great to you but he's no Aragon.'

Also at least once you should refer to Wal-MAIR.

And if he asks why you hate Walmart, unmask the Walmart Smiley face for who he really is, a big bad grizzly bear who is out to devour America!

Roger · 3 years ago

Most of the comments I've read have the best advice. Colbert is a genius at showing how bogus O'Reilly and his ilk are. Strongly suggest that you don't take yourself too seriously; basically, just be yourself, smile and enjoy the fact that you are a 'someone'.
(Colbert doesn't invite 'no-ones' like me).

Nina L. · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

Here's my best advice to you... The folks at Air America Radio are absolutely brilliant, and most callers are not shoddy in their astute analyses of the 'antics' of the administration (et al of theTheocratic Right power base).

If you put it out there on any of the shows, you will get the host's ideas as well as those of some of the people who call in. Springer is on at a good time, but almost all of the hosts are super and have a good following.

Good luck! We'll be watching and rooting for you here, in Northern Jersey! PEACE!

Rev. Rick · 3 years ago

Why do you hate Amerika so?

ROBERTO BENITEZ · 3 years ago

DON'T OVER DO IT. JUST HAVE FUN WITH IT! THE GUESTS DON'T REALLY COME OUT STUPID. JUST STATE YOUR MAIN POINTS AND KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR ABOUT IT.

Sophia · 3 years ago

The Colbert show is your opportunity to publicize your movies to those that have not seen it.

Choose 3 points to make and get them in

e.g. 1. WalMart underpays its staff and has handouts on how to get federal assistance for its employees
2. WalMart's owners donate less than its own employess have to its employees assistance plan
3. Fox news does no research and just says "sources say" when they don't have a credible source

and definitely make a reference to "Black bears" Perhaps something like perhaps a future documentary will be about how Black bears have lead to the moral corruption of society or Black bears have led to the downfall of our national parks

Anna · 3 years ago

Robert, I really wanted to offer some advice but can't figure out how to format my post for read-ability. I will try to email you directly...

I suggest you choose a theme and run with it, since you only have about 5 min to make an impression about your message and who you are. I'd recommend POLAR BEARS as your theme, and weave them into the conversation as much as possible - this unites the idea of bears, the idea of protecting the environment from climate change, and could be extended to include the idea that conservative ideologies and assumptions rest on thin ice... you could also bring audience giveaways in the form of cute stuffed animal polar bears (perhaps purchased from the san diego zoo?) more thoughts coming over email... :)

in polar bear solidarity,
anna

Ro · 3 years ago

If you ever start to feel yourself slip, or he says something scathing or outrageous, smile and loudly inform him how happy you are to be participating in a "Fair and Balanced" program such as his.

Bruce Katz · 3 years ago

Bob - I heard that the hardware store featured in the Walmart movie actually closed BEFORE the Walmart store opened near them. Is this true ?

Bruce

Lucille Adinolf, PhD · 3 years ago

CORRECTION
I mis-wrote the name of your .org. Please emend my statement, as below.

Colbert is not funny, but he is Not two-faced, solipsistic, crooks like Greenwald and his group, BRAVENEWFILMS.ORG.
We plan to write to Colbert and define our experiences with your group to him, and we will encourage everyone in the world we know, to do likewise.
We wrote to MoveOn about your BRAVENEWFILMS.ORG's nasty practices. It had no interest in factual feedback.
So, Thank you so much for alerting us to the upcoming event.
Respectfully submitted,

Fred Kraft · 3 years ago

Speak with honest heart felt feelings and your educated information, while always maintaining a sense of humour. Life is filled with life given experiences and opinons, yours and theirs and over all, one is able to understand and realize both.

Matt Weed · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald,

Mr. Colbert is a genius. That being said, you have nothing to fear. Mr. Colbert is a RAGING LIBERAL. The entirety of his show is dedicated to making a mockery of everything, especially Bill O'reilly. He always rants and raves about "his President". And by doing so, he is actually making fun of our unfortunate "American ignorance".

He makes fun of the unseen forces that control all of us and keep us "slaves to the grind".

As for advice... I would either go in knowing that this is really not the place you are going to get any significant messages across. OR, I would go in and counter-argue anything he stands for (remember, he does not stand for anything he says. HE IS A RAGING LIBERAL).

Whatever approach you take, make sure it is fun. Pretend to be pissed at his "ignorance". Or play in to it and be ignorant with him.

Again, most of all.... enjoy yourself.

Sincerely,
Matt Weed.

mike · 3 years ago

You could play along, do some research on right-wing conspiracy theories such as "black helicopters" and Christian apocolypse theories. Work in a few words for him to latch onto and start a crazy rant. (Be careful that they can't be turned back on you such that you would be stating your belief in such.) ----

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_helicopter_c...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apocalypticism ----
http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html

rose-marie · 3 years ago

Einstein said: ...... We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.......

Walter L. Johnson · 3 years ago

Research to find those with good comebacks. Steve Corbett did the same sort of thing on the Daily Show before the Corbett Report, just in side stories, trying to present a mock right wing point of view. On the Daily Show he did some interviews and a very few people survived making their point AND preserving their dignity. If you can get access to the Corbett classics from the Daily Show that would help. You may also have to chose between making one point (the most you are likely to get) and keeping your dignity while you play along. I like the suggestion from above about dressing up all America decked out.

His shows are also mocking of Bill O'Reilly's work, so it might help to watch O'Reily for at least the day of the show and two days prior.

The questions I predict and the answers I would give are:

Q. Why do you hate America.
A. I love America enough to give it the truth, rather than truthiness. Truthiness mocks the dictionary just like Bush mocks America.

Q. Why do you hate Wal-Mart's 800,000 employees?
A. I want to improve their working conditions, so I love them.

Q. What is wrong with Made in China? It gives us cheap goods.
A. No nation can be just buyers and not producers, unless all the world's producers remain blind, deaf and dumb. All the jobs can't be in retail or farming.

Q. What do you have againt Texas (or Texans)?
A. They gave us George Bush. The first started a war with Iraq but didn't finish it. The second one tried to finish it, even though the threat was gone. We paid $10 for our share of the first war but $300 bill and counting for the second war going it alone.

Q. Who cares about documentaries. Americans make their own facts.
A. Saying there is no hole in the floor doesn't keep you from falling through it.

If you get a chance to start a line of questioning, perhaps by bringing a teddy bear as a gift and saying this is so you don't need to be afraid of all bears.

Q to S.C. Why do you consider George Bush so great a President?
A. from S. C. He is the greatest president.
R. But that isn't a reason.

Q. to S. C. You consider Republicans the Grand Old Party, so do they party hardy as Demcrats?
A. from S. C. Republicans party harder.
R. I guess that explains why they come up with so many bad decisions.

Your best bet though for leaving a favorable impression though is to be satisfied with letting people know Brave New Films even exists and just play along with the comedy aspect. The Corbett Report is after all not a serious news program. It tries to make people laugh through its hyperbole of a stereotype. Of course,

1) Neo-cons hate bears because bear markets are hard on their pocketbook.

2) Neo-cons are self centered, not community centered. They don't want to pay for anything public, so they borrow money from the next generation in a pyramid scheme on a grand scale.

3) Neo-cons don't really care what the facts are. It is what they believe that matters and you are a nobody if you don't agree with them.

4) Neo-cons recognize authority as long as it agrees with them, but that requires they follow the leader, even if the leader is a moron with good social skills.

5) Neo-cons really don't love, they just hate.

You would get the most time during the interview is you brought up the advice you got doing this question to sympathizers, particularly the suggestions of playing to his ego and lack of even false modesty.

If you want to be asked back, make yourself come across as funny and not dull but mention the film company and movies. Any name recognition helps.

Ask a real conservative to prepare you in front of a video camera. Steve will be true to his neo con type cast., so it takes a conservative to really prep you. Then have your son look at best and worst five minutes to see which he likes best.

Annabelle Leviton · 3 years ago

Answer every ridiculous question with an answer of

Wow! You really are a funny man,

thus avoiding being trapped into answering those silly questions.

Joe · 3 years ago

Robert,

I recomend wearing a bear tie or a bear lapel pin!!!

If you didn't know - Stephen is freakishly afraid of bears. He thinks there is some kind of Bear-conspiracy against him and all Americans... Now with the spring thaw approaching and bears coming out of their hibernation extra hungry Stephen is a little on edge! You can see it in his beedy eyes.

He'll be constantly distracted by your bear-wear and probably let his guard down! This'll get you an easy interview.

Alternatively you could tell him that your next big film is targeting the liberal media and why they are being so cruel and unsupportive of our democratically elected executive chief - GW Bush. You'll have him eating out of your hand!

Best of luck...

P.S.
I heard the reason why he is so tough on his interviewees is that for that segment ach show, the camera is not 100% on him. This must be disturbing to him in many ways to have to share - he does like his attention!

jim crawford · 3 years ago

Tell Colbert that you’re not on his show to be either ‘Dan Rathered’ or necklaced, that you know he’s [Colbert --- keep mispronouncing his name – that drives people nuts --- Culbert, Cuthbert, Dogbert, Coalburnt, etc] simply a tool of the corporations that keep him on the air, and that the 60 Minutes presentation of W’s Texas Air National Guard records was accurate and correct. That you’re not here to discuss water over the dam like the Iran Contra affair in which you were ‘out of the loop,’ and how would he like it if you discussed the seven minutes when he [Colbert] walked off of the air because a golf game was interfering with his newscast [deliberately confusing him with Dan Rather and his interview with GHW Bush --- it’s important that you not give him a chance to respond; keep talking.] Further, the Bush family [as you continue the pretense of being a Bush on the hot seat] has NO, repeat “NO’ business interests or connections in Dubai--- you never heard of the Carlyle Group or Baker Botts, although you do seem to recall someone named James Baker III from somewhere, but he never visited you in the White House or anywhere else.

No. he was not invited to a barbecue. [Obviously, lots more Bush stuff could be thrown in here, as in “no one anticipated that the phrase ‘flying planes into buildings’ might actually mean that someone might fly a plane into a building.” “My mother has the right to give money to her son if she wants to and then tell everybody it’s Katrina charity.” ]

[In other words, keep him busy by denying some of the facts that have been brought up over the years re the Bush family, pretending that you’re someone else without actually saying so directly and answering questions that he hasn’t asked --- the same way the politicians do it.]

Bring up Colbert’s [obviously fictitious] communist family background--- mention the ‘Henry Culvert’ [the misspelling is not a mistake, you point out, but a pseudonym of the type used by communists in the 30s and 40s] who was a defense witness in the Hiss case [all of this is a hoax, of course] and who was deported to Kansas.

Mention that the NSA has intercepted a number of Culvert’s [ Colbert’s --- we know he’s trying to hide his communist/terrorist connections] phone calls to Paterson, Newark, and Garfield, NJ --- all locations with large Muslim populations, and that he will shortly be receiving phone calls from ‘Torture Boy’ Gonzales. And the IRS.

Also, of course, your real reason for featuring WalMart in your film is to give WalMart more publicity, as WM is in reality a very caring and compassionate organization, as surreptitiously released tapes of the WM CEO indicate conclusively. You are, in fact, a double agent seeking to increase the price of WM shares, of which you own 60,000, given to you by a Middle Eastern friend of your father’s who owns several oil companies in Dubai, Bahrain, etc. And that actually, you’re a Bush Ranger, like Jack Abramoff and Tom DuhhhhhLay.

Your next film, by the way, will be about Colbert and his show. At this point, don't let him jump on the couch --- he's a closet Scientologist, you know.

Hope some of this helps.

Good Luck [you’ll need it],
jim crawford
Westwood NJ

Fliss Butcher · 3 years ago

Remember that he's making money from your appearance on the show and that no matter what you say he needs you more than you need him.

If that doesn't work just remember he's human and farts like the rest of us!

Bill F · 3 years ago

He will undoubtedly say something about the invisible hand of the market. Tell him

"I just want to make sure that the invisible hand stays above the waist"

Also suggest to him that he should make a color coded threat meter that he could raise and lower at will whenever the audience gets quiet. Only applause can lower the threat level!!

Akhil · 3 years ago

In my view, take him at face value, respond with logic and humor, and then see what direction is taken. As you are probably well aware, the show is in satire. Another thing, I have not yet seen your movie, but I would suggest you do a little research about the human rights situation in China. I hear they got some flak for it recently, while most other MNC's there follow Wallmart's example. Just food for thought. Best of Luck!!

Mike Shelby · 3 years ago

Be ready for this question:

So, Mr. Greenwald, why do you hate Wal-Mart shoppers?

If you get that right it will be clear sailing.

Happy Trails!

Kristopher Kitts · 3 years ago

As to the final part of your request, how to get our message out without embarrassing us... Oh, yes, how pray tell...

Tell him that you would ask his permission to make a erious comment, but you know he wouldn't allow it. Then say, "I'm going to proceed anyways." Next you say, "try and and hook me on this one..". Before you begin. Then lay down your message that you intend to relay as concisely as possible so as to not allow it to be watered down by jokes and/or commercial breaks. Stephen has this affinity for the concept of 'catching someone in the spotlight'. He likes to 'get you'. We all know that. Go back and watch his interview with Stone Phillips and you'll see what I mean. What you do with the rest of the time is you put him on the spot as often as possible, the best you could hope for is a 'touche' but most likely he's going to pounce on everything you say and bat you around like a kitten with a dead mouse anyways so you may as well give it your best shot so as to not come off as easily bullied or easily 'handed your ass' in a debate.

All that having been said.. Obviously he loves playing both sides of the fence, but I think we all know what side he pulls his underwear up on first. You're appearance alone speaks volumes. Don't be nervous, celebrate it and have a great time.

Jason Mayland · 3 years ago

There's a couple ways that you could go with this. First of all, Robert, you have to remember something. Colbert may skewer you but you're ultimately in the right. So, if you speak the truth that you know you're not going to come off badly.

Second piece of advice is -- don't try to prepare snappy comebacks per se. Colbert is an incredible improviser and people who prepare jokes (like John McCain, who often shoehorns in a clunky joke when talking to John Stewart) come off as lame.

Since the topic of unions might come up, I'd be interested to hear you ask Stephen why he and John Stewart don't use union writers on their shows. Like Walmart, Colbert uses his clout to intimidate powerless workers into cranking out jokes for pennies an hour. Some kind of joke about sweatshops for Harvard grads might be in order.

Clearly, you have a sense of humor about yourself. So you're already miles ahead of the average guest.

Most of all, have fun!

Jenny Banh · 3 years ago

The show is about Culture Jamming and you can't fight that because he is fighting on your side really. I think he should be sincere and yourself because if you act like someone else and false-what's the point.
What you say probably is what 90% of the Americans agree with if they had the information but they don't. Have a sense of humor but use this opportunity to plug your documentries and platform. Down with walmart!! Do you know 1 trillion liberals would die to be in your place. Lucky lucky
good luck, JB

Brere Hawk · 3 years ago

Simple!--DO NOT take yourself seriously at all while on the show. That is the error everyone makes and makes their dignity a sitting duck in the sights o' Colbert. Best appraoch is to emulate Stephen's own brilliant Fox channel mimicry and the two of you ought to be hilarious together as you subliminally skewer the igornant right. Bring the "O'Greenwald Factor" to COMEDY CENTRAL and have fun!

Good luck

Palamedes · 3 years ago

A good defense is a strong offense....

Start asking innocent-sounding questions about his interest in "hot slices of pizza", then start with the scattershot accusations that aren't quite accusations.

Then you go for the knockout....

Rumors that you've been asked to check out... that he's in secret negotiations with Dominos, acquiring "all pizza, all the time." But...in exchange for what? What, Steve? WHAT?

He'll be in flop sweat mode in no time flat.

Erick · 3 years ago

Maybe "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

John Jeffers · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald, what do you have against poor people? Don't poor people deserve the same things rich people have? Or, does your elitist mentality prevent you from seeing that?

Ron, NYC · 3 years ago

C'mon!

Robert isn't scared at all; he loves Colbert (as do I) and Colbert loves him.

This is just a clever way for Robert to get more buzz about his films!

Dare Clark · 3 years ago

Alright, check this out.
I love Colbert Report, in fact, I actually prefer it do the Daily Show. One thing I love is how Colbert proves his point by agreeing with "Mr. GW" and playing his role of a right winger far too seriously...

... This said, maybe you should employ the same tactics! Instead of being Anti-Bush, try being Overly Pro-Bush. Compliment the president with words everyone knows are false, and TRY NOT TO SMILE.

Colbert, and the rest of us, would love for you to play HIS game. Show him you're gonna bring it. I know I'll be watching!

John Jeffers · 3 years ago

"Actually, Mr. Colbert, I believe anyone looking for a gun to kill bears might consider the selection in the sporting goods department at Wal-Mart."

DAve Comstock · 3 years ago

Riffing on what others have mentioned about Stephen's feelings towards bears, how about a quick rundown on bear-related items available at WalMart? Care, teddy, Yogi, Winnie The Pooh, NFL items in the Chicago area, Berenstain (I almost mistyped "Berensatan" there!), Disney's Country, Bad News, Goldilocks, nature documentaries...

It wouldn't surprise me at all if the #1 retailer of bear-related items in America is WalMart, since it's probably the #1 retailer of merchandise on just about any theme. And think of how many of those items are aimed at kids!!!

"So, Stephen. Why do you hate America's children?"

robert · 3 years ago

please tell him that we sincerely regret that the american people can only be seriously adressed through a comedy show. the daily show and the colbert report are keeping us informed better than fox or cnn news ever will. sad, sad, sad.

Dan · 3 years ago

You are very honored and lucky. Steve Colbert is fantastic! Let him take the lead, just laugh a lot and don't take yourself so seriously. This will really help the sale of your videos. Steve probably saw your brilliant "Outfoxed" and is in awe of you. He will be nice and funny with you. God bless.

ed · 3 years ago

just relax, it's satire.

Peggy · 3 years ago

Do what guests rarely do: when he thanks you for being there, say "You're Welcome!"

And remember James Taylor's advice:
Try not to try too hard.

Martin O'Brien · 3 years ago

will have no problem, just see the humor in it all, and remember to laugh at yourself aswell. he is allways looking for an angle and he is sharp. offense is the best defense, maybe tell him you make films based in "truthiness" ( his word ) that is bound to get a reaction and a laugh... but it is true, your films are about truth.

tell him you are a bit nervous
tell him that your 13 year old son thinks that stephen is totally cool, but then again he is a teenager...;-)

when he announces you, and he walks over to you taking his bows, you should stand up and applaud him, I have never seen anyone do that... play him at his own game???? 'Outfox' him ( easier said than done )

I think he likes people who challenge him well

I do not know if any of this helps, but good luck

thanks for all the good work you do Mr Greenwald

Martin O'Brien

Rebecca · 3 years ago

Oh Robert, you'll be wonderful! Hey, The Colbert Report is all about ... Colbert. So if you simply accept the fact that what he says is, A. true B. right and C. total B.S. you will be just fine. Be prepared to answer the following questions that as a left-wing, commie-type, corporation-destroyer you will be asked: 1. Why do you hate America? 2. Why do you hate Americans? 3. Why do you hate God? 4. Why do you hate George Bush?
The biggest mistakes guests make are the tendency to be caught off guard by the exacting nature of Stephen's sharp wit and intense intellect. They think: "Oh, he's just another talking head, albeit an extremely good-looking one". Not so. Stephen would himself make a wonderful Commander in Chief and if God is on our (the good guys') side, someday he will be!
One of the folks who did quite well keeping their shit togther on the show was actually an acto r- of all things - Durmot Mulrony. He gave it back to S.C. and kept him on his toes. Tongue in cheek and so forth. I would also watch Al Franken from a week or so ago. And Al Sharpton also did well. Good one.
As a gift, bring Stephen an American Flag. He will LOVE you!

Arthur Norman · 3 years ago

Enjoy yourself. Although The Daily show is hipper (sorry you didn't make the cut), Colbert is witty and wise. I would suck up to him at every opportunity: about the great service he provides to viewers, how the country needs more patriots like him, how his is one of the few "fair and balanced" shows you've seen on the air. Other than that, remember that you are at the mercy of his editors, who could make Einstein seem the dolt.

Don't take any of it too seriously but be serious about it. One question I might ask him is how he got Jon Stewart to leave the show. Good luck, smile and laugh often.
Arthur Norman, Providence, RI

SteveG · 3 years ago

His standard opening question for lefties is whether Bush is a great or the greatest president. The answer ought to be, "Too early to tell. He has a lot of competition for greatest...Hoover's policies led to the stock market crash of '29, James Buchanan allowed the country to slide into Civil War, and then there was Nixon and all of the crimes he oversaw from the Oval Office. But given how things are going, he's got a real shot at beating them all."

scott cummings · 3 years ago

Just remember his job is to entertain by staying in character. No matter what his real beliefs he will attack anything you say, including anything you say about your films. I think the best strategy is to talk about conservatives instead of liberal ideas. Set him up by bringing up conservative people and organizations that have been involved in something bad in the news lately or just look extremely radical. This will allow him to defend these conservatives and play the part while not attacking you as directly. Remember, people watch this show for entertainment, so your entertaining them will be the best advertising you can get.

dunya · 3 years ago

Jeffery Sachs was on the Colbert Report a few weeks ago. He was the only person I've seen who Colbert allowed to actually get his point across. Sachs had a few very important and hard-hitting points that he just kept repeating (the size of our military budget vs. the possibility for easy eradication of malaria with mosquito nets). You have so many issues, but pick a few key points and just keep repeating them. Sachs wasn't very funny, but my friends and I were awed at how effectively he used his appearance on the show to address so many people about such a serious topic. You can do this too!

Barry · 3 years ago

Pick three things you want to say and stick to them. They should be serious points spoken funnily (with humor). Use analogy... "It's like a kids on a playground fighting over who gets to go down the slide first," or something that is easy to conceptualize. Finally, don't try to over-sarcastic Colbert. Make him look good and smart. His best guests are smart themselves, don't take themselves too seriously, and let the host take the lead.

Definitely be prepared for a "Why do you hate America?" question. Good answer: "I love America. Sometimes you just have to slap it around once in a while."

queer_theory · 3 years ago

Just trust him. Stephen takes care of his guests. He will not let you look foolish if you just trust him.

mark harper · 3 years ago

Being funny is manditory, first approach the interview with humor. However, in our trying times the one thing I wish the media would honestly report is the number of service men and women and their families who are suffering due to injury, accute mental anguish or death. Maybe it would be cool to find a brave service man or women who has suffered due to this unjust war and is willing to joke and speak out against it. Once you find this person (BTW it should'nt be hard) invite them to appear on the show with you. I know this is a "comedy" show but nothing says truth like comedy and tragedy mixed. The problem with our media is that nobody wants to be serious about the real problems, if you can turn Colbert Report into a show with 90% laughs and 10% realism you will have started a revolution. GOOD LUCK. Love your work.
Mark Harper
Detroit, MI

tommo · 3 years ago

If he asks what the left-wing exit strategy is for Iraq, remind him that The Bush Crime Family has no intention of ever leaving. Any exit strategy is better than that.

Miss Truth · 3 years ago

The Colbert Report is all about "TRUTH", so you are better off standing up for your truths (truths which you have plenty of evidence on and footage) and every time Steve comes at you with one of his things, you can always say to him: "prove it"!!! -- If you have a truth, you should be able to prove it. Good Luck!

S · 3 years ago

I think you should make an intellegent joke about yourself before he does. State some facts and joke about them too. I am a fan of those shows, although I usually watch the Daily Show,and the people who do those things seem "cooler" and more fun. Light-heartedness is key. Good Luck and I really do beleive that he is on our side along with his viewers.!

beth · 3 years ago

There's an article posted on the Huffington Post about Michael Brown going on the Cobert report this Tuesday (at least you get to follow him... could any one can look as bad as Brown?). It includes others' reactions to being on the show... maybe it could help you prepare...

Good luck!!

Tony Prokott · 3 years ago

I must qualify my comments as oblique or tangential, since I'm unfamiliar with Colbert. Still, it may be productive. I may all the same be able to offer some useful insight and advice for healing the grievous collective wound in civil society, that knuckle dragging neocon(federate) reactionaries so sadistically enjoy salting.

From all I gather from the Colbert audience here, the satire may be often confused for earnest displays of signature regressive militant bigotry and prettyfied reactionary bile, with the trademark smirk for plausible deniability value, and to help decent folk appear easily baited, fembot-humorless, or thin skinned.

It's often easy to undermine gravitas, conscience, and civil society with bigoted barbarism superficially disguised as just good Folksy™ humor. One might well imagine that it takes sainthood to withstand such slings and arrows of outrageous cultural immune-system response of the groupthink lemming herd to plain decency.

"I said the world was mad, and they said that I was. And, dammit, they outvoted me."
— poet Christopher Smart

See Derrick Jensen in /The Culture of Make Believe/, if you take this for hyperbole. Harrowing but necessary reading for people trying to reconcile with conscience.

Wouldn't want to spook you at all, it does seem that your demeanor probably would best be served if you take many of these commenters' advice, to just relax, take "yourself" not too seriously — you, the human being, as distinct from "you" the complex of public & Colbert cruel (internalized?) projections, is in fact untargetable, so "Take Nothing Personally" ought to be much easier to apply than it actually is, for endocrine neuro-reasons.

So yes, just imagine the host as a closet (if certifiable narcissist) buddy. By "not hearing" the abuse, smears, and innuendo offered up with a sly stage grin, per Marshall Rosenberg's "giraffe ears" of nonviolent communication (cnvc.org).

Apologies for bringing these in at the last minute. Rosenberg & Jensen are not digestable in a few hours, sadly, but are crucially important to the movement long term. To our spiritual survivability as people of conscience.

I also think it's vital that you understand, but not get bent out of shape over, the reactionary commodified exploitation of evolutionary weaknesses in the human nervous system, as documented in...

Republican Nemesis : how barbaric lemming groupthink is leveraged to lay lucrative waste to US public life
http://nontrivialpursuits.org/republican_nemesi...

Also of potential keen interest, on Neuroscience and [commodified] Political Bias:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mn-politics-natio...

On the grotesque divergence between actual reality and the ultra-commodified surrogate (sur)Reality™, and how we distinguish the two, in this case in regards to toxic industrialized Christianity™ lite.
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/articl...

Best regards to all people of conscience. Encouragement for becoming enlightened and losing our investment in the neo-slavery global corporate holocaust.

--

"... people who cannot suffer can never grow up, can never discover who they are. That man who is forced each day to snatch his manhood, his identity out of the fire of human cruelty that rages to destroy it knows, if he survives his effort, and even if he does not survive it, something about himself and human life that no school on earth—and, indeed, no church— can teach. He achieves his own authority, and that is unshakable. This is because, in order to save his life, he is forced to look beneath appearances, to take nothing for granted, to hear the meaning behind the words... If one is continually surviving the worst that life can bring, one eventually ceases to be controlled by a fear of what life can bring."
— James Baldwin, on commodifiable soul — yes that's redundant, but a distinction worth highlighting still

christine ficker · 3 years ago

Robert;
Everything you need is already inside your body. Trust the body and mind that brought you to this place. You are courageous, intuitive and have high integrity. Learning reponses will trick you into feeling you have the answers. Remember; you are known more for asking the right questions. How old are you? Where were you born? Who is in control of this conversation? Questions keep you in control. Clarify, reverberate back, answer questions with questions. This is Sales 101or how to sell anything, including your point of view.
"Can I get that in pink? " "Yes." Now what?
"Can I get that in Pink? " " Would you like that in Pink?" "Oh no, I hate that pink. " What color would you like yours to be?" They just bought.

GROUND your energy by using another person's root chakra or answer center. Find the friend who exemplifies strong, grounded, there for you, I am a ROCK energy and position them back of the set. They will ground you. Borrow their roots. Also, imagine a root ball under the chair where you sit feeding into MOTHER EARTH. She will feed you right answers to what she wants. Since you are already in tune with her, which is why you have the views you do, this will bring more of the energy you promote.

Relax, tell your truth and have fun. Play Enjoy. Even if you feel the answer you gave at some point in the conversation was not right, if you appear to roll with the punches you will be seen as a team player, a fun guy, a guy willing to step into this power. If the audience likes you, they will trust you. Rule #1 to swaying public belief. Get them to like YOU. Since this is comedy, have fun! People will love you if you play along with the gag. You know the PIE is coming? right?

I'll be watching. Use our root chakras also.
Christine

Randal Unruh · 3 years ago

Colbert is great, just admit he is right and you are wrong. Give him all your "facts", so he can show you how they are irrelevant to "truthiness". And, ask for forgiveness for your heathen "blame America first" ways.

David Brito · 3 years ago

Just remember to read the LATEST news on any network and ask him about it. He has probably been so busy with his show he hasn't heard about it or is tryingf to come back with somethingf humorous abut it... just be kool, we have faith in you

Itara O'Connell · 3 years ago

I've never seen the show so keep that in mind as you read these comments. Be over the top with your patriotism- Bush doesn't go far enough- I'm for wire tapping not only the people here but abroad as well, I'm for American corporations runnnig not only this country but others as well. We need more Christianity- if the Shiites and Sunnis could just see how good the American Christians really are, they'd all convert. and we'd have peace in the world.

David Brito · 3 years ago

Just remember to read the LATEST news on any network and ask him about it. He has probably been so busy with his show he hasn't heard about it or is tryingf to come back with somethingf humorous abut it... just be kool, we have faith in you

christine ficker · 3 years ago

Robert;
Everything you need is already inside your body. Trust the body and mind that brought you to this place. You are courageous, intuitive and have high integrity. Learning reponses will trick you into feeling you have the answers. Remember; you are known more for asking the right questions. How old are you? Where were you born? Who is in control of this conversation? Questions keep you in control. Clarify, reverberate back, answer questions with questions. This is Sales 101or how to sell anything, including your point of view.
"Can I get that in pink? " "Yes." Now what?
"Can I get that in Pink? " " Would you like that in Pink?" "Oh no, I hate that pink. " What color would you like yours to be?" They just bought.

GROUND your energy by using another person's root chakra or answer center. Find the friend who exemplifies strong, grounded, there for you, I am a ROCK energy and position them back of the set. They will ground you. Borrow their roots. Also, imagine a root ball under the chair where you sit feeding into MOTHER EARTH. She will feed you right answers to what she wants. Since you are already in tune with her, which is why you have the views you do, this will bring more of the energy you promote.

Relax, tell your truth and have fun. Play Enjoy. Even if you feel the answer you gave at some point in the conversation was not right, if you appear to roll with the punches you will be seen as a team player, a fun guy, a guy willing to step into this power. If the audience likes you, they will trust you. Rule #1 to swaying public belief. Get them to like YOU. Since this is comedy, have fun! People will love you if you play along with the gag. You know the PIE is coming? right?

I'll be watching. Use our root chakras also.
Christine

will · 3 years ago

Just remind Stephen that his last name is French. I saw Tim Robbins do it when he was on, and it shut Colbert up for a few seconds.

kitk · 3 years ago

Two or three weeks ago he did a piece about working conditions before unions.
He really showed his true colors there; he was COMPLETELY pro union. A very moving, almost tear-jerking piece. And of course incredibily funny at the same time.
Was is Cokie Roberts who called him a genious?

Anacleta Martina · 3 years ago

The message I'd like to hear loud and clear when you are on the Colbert Report is this: Liberals need to play their own political game and stop being on the defense. We can only win back the White House and the Congress by ignoring the mudslinging and sticking to the issues. The minute we start answering their accusations, we've lost AGAIN!! We need to be smarter, sharper and more courageous!! You've all these traits going for you so you're going to pull through this without a hitch. Love your stuff!!! Keep it up!!

A friend · 3 years ago

The only people who come off looking bad are the conservatives that think he’s on their side, or the liberals who attack him not realizing that he is parodying conservatives! Look at the guy from 60 Minutes who was on, and how well he did!

Mandy · 3 years ago

Are you good at recognizing sarcasm? The guests that look like dopes are the ones that don't play along with the joke. Or the ones that come armed with prepared jokes. You cannot outfunny Stephen Colbert. Don't try to. Just play along. The strength of your ideas is what will come thru, let Colbert handle the funny.

Bill Tucker · 3 years ago

Buy a Red/White/Blue hammer as a gift.

Have it made in the USA, not by slave labor.

Present this as a gift to help him 'nail' you. That's the phrase he uses when he asks you a question you're unable to respond to: "Ha!, I nailed you!"

Maybe it should be a foam hammer, it might hurt less. ;) Maybe a real hammer in a nice gift box?

Mandy · 3 years ago

Are you good at recognizing sarcasm? No seriously. That wasn't sarcastic. The guests that look like dopes are the ones that don't play along with the joke. Or the ones that come armed with prepared jokes. You cannot outfunny Stephen Colbert. Don't try to. Just play along. The strength of your ideas is what will come thru, let Colbert handle the funny.

MIKE THOMAS · 3 years ago

I am British and dont have any idea about the programme nor am I sufficiently knowledeable about the issues. What I would advise is dont alow a pause - just keep going with the points you want to make while you have the chance. At an appropriate point turn the questioner's question back on him. If the questions move off your agenda turn the line of thought back onto your agenda when answering the question.
Some times just to laugh at a question might be an appropriate response.

I wish you luck and courage

Mike

Jeannie Gibbons · 3 years ago

I'm so sorry that I can't help you. I do not have cable TV, and thus am not familiar with the show. You will, however, have my prayers.
May God shower you with his blessings.

Miss Kitty · 3 years ago

You've overlooked your best consultant. Your 13-year old son will give you all the questions/answers you need. If you get input from anyone older than him, the audience will not understand anything you say/do. This will cause both you and Mr. Colbert great distress! Good night and Good Luck!
M.K.

matt cvik · 3 years ago

All I have to say is just be yourself. Give as much information you have. Do not controdict yourself and always give a calm responce. The right wingers always love to see people sweat and he is no expetion. Even if your getting assulted verbally you must not falter you have to keep a cool and strong look. Thats worked well for me with my debates against the right and I hope I helped you today.

Fighting for the cause. Good luck =D

Marilyn · 3 years ago

He'll probably start out with one or two serious right-wing questions. So prepare an answer to something like the following and try not to be too serious. But be yourself and just say something that you know would bug the hell out of Bill O'Reilly. Just throw out a few facts. They will embarrass him, at which point he usually turns zany and says "Let's go on to something else..."

Possible Colbert questions:
Why do you want to embarrass the US and make our noble leaders seem stupid and uneducated?

Why don’t you hate Saddam?

How true are your documentaries? Don’t you play with the facts and interpret them in a left wing way? Aren’t you outfoxing the public in your own way? How do we know what you say is true?

Wal-Mart has cheap prices? Have you ever, ever shopped at Wal-Mart? Cross-your-heart…

Isn’t the whole point of the US capitalist economy that even poor folks have a chance to get rich? Aren’t you getting also really rich from your movies, like Sam Walton? Aren’t you two really kissing cousins?

Nacho · 3 years ago

Ah, yes the Colbert Report! Well, never fear. Borrow a page from the administration and engage in a little "ambiguous ambiguity." Answer all questions by leaving possibilities for denial open, and flatly asserting something different from what the President or others have asserted. Then, when called on it, say "No," that's not what we said (or better, "well, what we said was...") or something like: "well yes, but what the American people need to understand..." and proceed to obsfuscate what you said). This works beautifully and is a frequent strategy in use on Sunday talk shows. So, nobody really knows what the position is.

Best,

N

Gotta Love Colbert though.

Pam Rooney · 3 years ago

Best advice is just to join in the fun and join in the joke. If you can find a clip of Bob Schiefer's [sp? CBS News] appearance, you'll see a great example of how to roll with Colbert. In fact, Bob is the first guest I've ever seen able to come close to getting Stephen out of character--as in laughing. The only people who look like morons are the ones who take any of the "interview" seriously.

Steve Clinton · 3 years ago

Hi:
Also a big Colbert fan, and with his unbelievably quick and erudite wit I don't think you can be fully prepared for his interview. The best I have seen so far was Al Franklin - the give and take in this episode is unrivaled. Again, I would not expect to live up to this standard. Instead, have the 12 greatest lies of the thousands Bush has uttered (or slurred) thoroughly prepared, and turn every question aside with a humorous retreat to one of these lies (humor being the key on this show). Keep hammering with the twelve. Relax and enjoy yourself as well as you will be among friends, and remember for those of us who get Colbert the points will be made by Stephen as well. Good luck, and I look forward to cheering you on.

kitk · 3 years ago

Dick Cheney's aid is afraid of him.
He mentioned that in an old NPR interview, in which he was talking about being at the Rep. Convention, he approached Cheney for an interview and Chency, having no idea who he was, said "yes," but Cheney's aid knew who he was and pulled Cheney away.
Tell him you're sorry he never got a chance to interview him.

Judy · 3 years ago

If a question has you temporarily flummoxed, a good delaying strategy is to say, "why do you ask?"

Dan McCrory · 3 years ago

I really think you should wear a hat made of aluminum foil and let him know you're wearing it so he can't read your mind. Let him know the real reason you made all these expose's is to show the world had truly humongous the vast right wing conspiracy really is. And when you run out of real things to expose you're going to make them up like those guys in the White House, and at the Pentagon, and the Fox News Nework.

Philippe · 3 years ago

Make very sure you watch how he talks for Brown on Tuesday to get a sense of how he handles that interview. Do no assume that he is going to be "on your side." Do not attemt to tell any jokes. Hope in a sense that he asks you tough questions. Be prepared for a fairness question and how you edit the films. Be very willing to tell him that you set up a blog to guide you through the interview. This might provide him with material and it will show that you take him seriously.You have helped me many times over the years with guidance and I hope this helps a little bit.

AB · 3 years ago

I will simply echo what others have written, just be yourself, answer his questions and trust that he will illuminate the absurdity of the right's POV, that is one aspect of his genius. Tim Robbins did a good job of getting in a few poignant gems, Colbert asked, "Why do you hate our troops?" Robbins responded, "Why do you hate the truth." These days, my favorite guests of his are conservatives, he out-conservatives them and they are frequently left speechless. You'll be fine, just have fun and remember he hates facts, but loves truth and you have both!

karen · 3 years ago

You aren't going to look as good.
You aren't as funny.
You aren't improv-wise.

Wear bear head with black glasses hiding behind metal, flag lapel pin.

Bear spray?

Think of all the words which use bear or bare,
a ton are very useable in straight responses.

Stop worrying about the high price of doing business with Colbert. Outfox him by using visual humor. Keep your answers to bare bones; you are not bare handed.

Say "hi" to your kid.

jeffhu · 3 years ago

There can be no battle of words with Colbert he is too fast
Just keep staring at his ear
If that doesn’t work ask him about the ultra liberal scifi novel he wrote.

Eric · 3 years ago

Whatever happens, just roll with it and play along, good luck!

Desert Hedgehog · 3 years ago

The thing that I have against all these talk show "hosts" is their bombastic superciliousness, whether they're playing for laughs like Colbert or serious like the Fox menagerie. Maybe it would be a good idea to have ready a prepared diatribe against the bombastic superciliousness of egomaniacal talk show types, just in case all else fails. If you were going on with O'Reilly, I'd suggest punching his lights out--I'm surprised someone hasn't yet.

alex · 3 years ago

Just be warned that stephen likes to change the topic away from what you would like to talk about so be ready to follow wherever he goes. also, stephen is quick so don't try to trick him . be warned he likes to question the general assumptions you make and ask question like "why shouldnt large corperation control the goverment" He will most likly also attack your Patriotism so think of ways to defend your stance in simple terms. the interview should be fun and playfull so avoid sucking up or being to agressive and dont force any jokes

P.S. Attacking bears cant hurt

Susan · 3 years ago

I think you should incorporate the news that came out about Cheney's orders when traveling. Hey if the VP orders all his televisions tuned to Fox News, what does that say? Also, You might say something about Walmart stocking emergency contraception in it's pharmacies now. Since states are starting to inact legislature about providing health care to employees, Walmart realizes that they might have to pay for more abortions or kids on their insurance plans. Emergency contraception is cost effective for the corporation and isn't that what is really important. We know it is not for the health of women.

Mike Brown · 3 years ago

Tell him your next film will be an exposé on the secret lives of bears and how they threaten our border security. Possibly offer to include him in the film as an expert on anti-American bear activities. If that doesn't win him over, accidentally call him Anderson and then confess you always confuse him with Mr. Cooper.

Old fan · 3 years ago

Tell him you just finished reading Chapter 26 (Abraxxia's Gambit) of his book, 'Alpha Squad 7: Lady Nocturne: A Tek Jansen Adventure' available at Colbertnation.com, and that you want to make a movie starring him in the lead role.

Nick Sanders · 3 years ago

Anyone who tells you that Colbert is serious is just not getting it. He will make you look good by his satire and funny, funny statements about our present administration. Just explain yourself well, and he will do the rest and make you look good. He's spoofing. Don't forget that. It isn't anything else. Good luck! I watch it every night and will be there with you laughing my butt off. Go git um' big bear.

Patricia · 3 years ago

Hi,
I love the Daily Show and The Colbert Report. The guests that do well are the ones who know how to roll with the punches. If you go in with an emotional brick wall around you, Colbert sees it as a challenge and really goes after you. Study the art of defense known as akido-- use the opponents energy against them to keep them off balance. Do you have access to any improv comedy classes? They really sharpen your thinking. Have you ever done yoga breathwork for relaxation under pressure? It works!

Best of Luck! I'm pulling for you.
--Patricia

Debra · 3 years ago

I agree, SC will definately ask why you hate America or freedom. He probably will ask why you hate China and he may ask you why you want Americans to pay more for their goods than they should be. He may ask you what you have against globalization and why you don't want to share the weath with poor people in other nations - they need to eat too you know. Just remember, SC and his team will be checking this blog out as well. Good luck. I hope he lets you talk versus what he did to Al Franken. I love SC and his show

Paul William Roberts · 3 years ago

When I was promoting my book on Iraq, A WAR AGAINST TRUTH, I came up against far worse adversaries than Colbert. He's actually rather pleasant, and I would say he's really a liberal and this is a satirical act. The thing to be ready for is the speed of interview. There is no time to think, and you basically have to view each question as an opportunity to say what you want to say. In other words, if he says, "Greenwald, you're a commie attacking the very fabric of US society," or something, you should be ready with a prepared account of what you do, and preface it with, say, "That's the kind of know-nothing loud-mouth effluence I was expecting, because what I do is etc etc" As long as you talk it is difficult for him to cut in, so rattle it off. Then at some point you could tell him you're working on an expose of Neoconservatism that includes him "We found some things your viewers will be quite fascinated to learn. So many neocons are ex-Trotskyites, aren't they Stephen? Irving Kristol, Christopher Hitchens and many more. When Bush talks about the Global democratic revolution, he sounds a lot like Trotsky talking about the international socialist revolution, doesn't he, Stephen? One word is different, isnt it. Is there something you want confess, because our investigations are very thorough. Paul Wolfowitz marched with Martin Luther King and he's still a paid-up democrat. This is a conspiracy, isn't it, Stephen? That's why Bush spends like a socialist, isn't it? The jig is up. We're going to nail you. ...." Something on those lines he will enjoy. It is a comedy show, and basically he's a right wing Jon Stewart, but the goal is entertainment so the funnier you make it, the more he'll like it. I will repeat the main point: be ready for the speed of it. He is very fast and very nimble, so you must have minute-long slabs of content prepared and just use them as answers to the questions unless something better comes to mind. Have they done a pre-interview? If not, dont feed them your answers. Say totally different things and you will take him by surprise. Besides the DVDs, all he will have as research is what you said to a story editor or researcher over the phone, and he will be expecting you to repeat those answers. When you dont, he will not be able to use some of the questions he has prepared, and you will have the advantage. I used to produce a TV talk-show and I know what the hosts are given. Just practice those stock answers in minute-long bites delivered at a rapid pace. If you dont pause he cant jump in and it's hard to edit you too. As you know. Good luck. Be prepared then relax and have fun. He's a nice guy and smart. Unlike O'Reilly , who's just a mindless bully with a loud mouth. If you do O'Reilly, just punch him in the face ---- it's all he deserves.
Best,
Paul

Darlene · 3 years ago

Laugh at his jokes as if you get it. There will be remarks drawn from an orifice. Play along and have fun. Don't let yourself look dumb or as if you were caught off guard. Stroke his ego. This is a comedy show. Nothing is serious except entertainment. Act happy and confident!

Meg Kuzminski · 3 years ago

Don't get frantically defensive. No matter what he says, answer questions in a constructive and positive manner. Don't sweat, you'll be cool. You're movie rocks and he knows it.

:)

faveuncle · 3 years ago

Ask him why his breath smells like felafel.

kim Hanson · 3 years ago

Engage him somehow in Lord of the Rings Trilogy talk, he is a freak about Tolkien!

Jay Levitt · 3 years ago

I can't imagine that you'll actually get down this far - I know I didn't. Still, I have to disagree with some of the other posters:

Do NOT try to out-funny Colbert. You can be straightforward, or outrageous, or flippant, but do not try to make the interview into a joke. Even when you win that game, you'll lose, because then he doesn't know where to take the interview, or who's playing the straight man, and there's an awkward silence. It didn't work for Al Franken, and it won't work for you.

Don't listen to the ideas about mispronouncing his name, or trying to "nail" him, or pretending to be the opposite of what you stand for. That's his shtick. And for the love of God, don't try to interview him! Some of the worst interviews lately have been professional funny-people who tried to show that they were in on the joke. Comedy's a dance, and one person has to lead. Let it be Stephen.

If you do have an irresistible urge to be funny, do it as pure satire, not as a joke - the ideas about Papa Bear and Stephens' fear of bears are hysterical, but they'd need to be delivered with the pure innocent face of someone who doesn't know that Colbert is playing a character.

Overall, try to reply in a way that gives him an obvious follow-up question. His best interviews on the Daily Show were with unsuspecting right-wing foils, and he hasn't yet learned how to rescue an unexpected response. Don't surprise him.

C. Phillips · 3 years ago

We don't get cable tv; I'll have to visit a friend Thursday night.

Niels · 3 years ago

You probably have already read George Lakoff's "Don't think of an elephant: know your values and frame the debate" (VT: Chelsea Green Publishing, 2004), 124 pages.
His reframing advice is the best answer I've seen to the current rightwing juggernaut. I'd call Lakoff on the phone and brainstorm (in case there might emerge a micro moment for a serious message). Good luck!!

Adrianna Schneider · 3 years ago

I have two Wallmart stories for you. One from Germany and one from Claremont, New Hampshire.

Yes,
I know I can't spell but this migh be of help to you. I can spell really, but I am short on time.

Let me start with Germany. Wallmart does have stores in Germany, but on the whole they are doing very poorly there. Germany has tough labour laws that favour the employee with an eye on keeping a balance between the welfare of the populace and the wellfare of the economy. Germany being a socialist country sees profit as a means to endow it's society with a high standard of living and at the very least a garuntee that human beings are given their proper value. They are also smart enough to realize that poverty is not the fault of the poor.

I heard through word of mouth ( my co-worker was friends with a Wallmart executive's wife) that when Wallmart first opened, it tried to get it's employees to sing the Wallmart song. This went down like a lead weight. It smacked too much of indoctrination in a country that is still deeply remoresfull from Hitler. German as Very aware of all of the machanisms of brain-washing and will cringe at the thought of anything that comes close. When the employees were forced to sing the song ( and Germans love to sing in groups) they simply quit on the spot and walked out. It was a guts thing for them to do since Germany has massive unemployment problems.

What is it like going to a Wallmart in Germany? I lived in Wuppertal Germany for a year and a half plus visted more times than I can count. We had a Wallmart and so I will describe my enounters there. It is basically full of the same poor quality styless stuff you get here but at European prices. This is combined with the world famous bad costomer service you reive everywhere in Germany. The idea of a one stop shop in Germany does not genneraly fly since most people do their shopping by public transportation and a pleasant pedestrian district is by far more appealing both for the quallity of goods and services and for the social aspect. Germans want to buy their goods from knowlagable people. Even on the busy shopping days, I never saw the Wallmart in Wuppertal busy. I love the Germans!

As for Claremont, NH, Wallmart killed the down town. I used to live a town south from CLaremont and out of nessisty would shop in Claresmont at times. CLaremont had a beauatiful mainstreet filled with small locally owned businesses where you could purchase everything you need. The poeple who owned and worked in these shops had decent wages and did not sufer the degrdation that can come with working for a mega corporation. The employees were valued as community members and what their presence gave to the town - a person touch. A Wallmart opened in CLaremont and undercut the small businesses on prices. Claremont being a poor town could not help but shop at Wallmart. Unfortunately by doing so the town shot itself in the foot and many people lost their job and businesses and drove down the average wage of the population. The opening of Wallmart did create jobs but they were lower paying and they came at the expense of the the overall welfare of the community. Mainstreet closed and it's shop workers have been swallowed into the Wallmart staff. WHere would you rather work...at the little hardware shop on Mainstreet for your uncle or at Wallmart under the florecent lights while wearing a demeaning rediculous uniform for half the wage?

carl e. person · 3 years ago

Hi, Robert,
Wal-Mart is able to do the things you report in your film because Wal-Mart is forcing its suppliers to sell to Wal-Mart at illegally low prices, in violation of the federal Robinson-Patman Act. This Act requires mfrs to sell to competitors at the same per-unit price, with volume discounts only for actual savings realized by the mfr. Today, mfrs are selling to Wal-Mart below the mfrs' cost, which is putting the mfrs out of business and driving the mfrs to outsource mfr to other countries, causing America to lose millions of jobs.
If the US enforced the Act, Wal-Mart would be forced to pay higher prices, and would be unable to compete (because Wal-Mart obtains about $60 billion per year in illegal rebates from its mfr-suppliers, but earns only $10 billion yearly, after taxes. Wal-Mart is not efficient at all, and cannot survive the competition of small businesses if Wal-Mart paid a lawful price for its goods. This would eliminate most of the outsourcing, and restore American jobs.
My telephone number is 212-307-4444 if you have any questinos. Meanwhile, you might be interested in my Wal-Mart website at www.lawmall.com/wal-mart and my wal-mart cartoon at www.lawmall.com/electionissues/bigtoon760.jpg

Carl E. Person, civil rights and antitrust lawyer

Guse · 3 years ago

I think you should totally freak out back at him. Answer every question with a question. Stray from the topic as much as possible and make him seem like an idiot for asking you questions in the first place.

Jean · 3 years ago

It's comedy, so respond as such! Stay in the satire with him. Perhaps in a Monty Python way: "That's a silly question and you're a silly right wing man." "You're only strengthening my resolve!"

Constituent · 3 years ago

Check out Jim Webb's (former Sec of the Navy and currently running for U.S. Senate in Virginia) performance on the show a couple of weeks ago.

Bam Carle · 3 years ago

I think if you were to sit in the chair bound and gagged it would solve everything...that way you could just nod or shake your head at the appropriate times.
Just a thought...

Matt Robinson · 3 years ago

Tell him the number one grossing infomercial on American television presently is one dedicated to removing Urine -- see www.urineoff.com -- and let him know we have a domestic productivity problem. Ross Perot made the analogy between potato chips and computer chips....well now it's just about Urine -- and a reflection on the morass that our economic condition is in now.

He'll be so flabergasted, he won't be able to ask you any of his scripted questions. Then you can proceed with the message on wallymart, etc.

Ken C. · 3 years ago

Anyone out there who has not done so should go watch Colbert at:
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_...

Don't let "Fresh Hot Slice" happen to you.

Yvonne White · 3 years ago

Please ask Mr. Colbert if the children in His sweatshops qualify for WIC or Medicaid!;)
Also, does he think the Rapture will occur on a Saturday or a Sunday - and if not, why not?;)

Celeste Chan-Wolfe · 3 years ago

Hi Robert:

How wonderful that you get to the opportunity to play on TV with some profound and thought provoking issues.

Steven likes SMART people, so if you know the COMIC PREMISE of your work and can have a SENSE OF HUMOR WITH Steven and your work, you will go out making your point with entertainment value.

When Steven makes a smart comment, back him up or highlight it. He likes to spar intellectually with guests he feels are intelligent. Don't get defensive or nervous, just be yourself and authentic to the message that you believe in and want to get across.

Steven is a Second City Improv guy, so just play Improv "Yes, And..." with him. Go for the heightening and exageration element of the comic premise should one arise. You can spoof yourself or your serious topic with a "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" vibe to the audience and with Steven. You will get your point across in a humorous and not so serious fashion. Just let youself be yourself as if you were with friends who wanted to have fun. Just harken back to your frat boy days when you played humorous "one up' / 'capping"/"quipy clever remark" games that guys do when they are spoofing or batting around something serious in a humorous way.

GOOD LUCK and most of all HAVE FUN. You can never embarass yourself if you can laugh at yourself and all that airses. Don't worry, the spirit of trickster, humor, and fun will be with you. Steven is your friend, not your foe.

Valerie Gill · 3 years ago

Look forward to your time with Colbert as an adventure in gonzo journalism, comedy, irony and enjoying five minutes of playing dueling intellects with the sharpest comedian on TV. This will be an opportunity for you to relate to a huge audience of "top 10 percenters" who are able to gleen comedy from tragedy and not take themselves or others more seriously than is necessary to be credible. This will allow you to make an impact on those with whom you are able to connect. Relax, be jocular and spar, knowing that he does a very funny O'Reilly imitation throughout most interviews. Enjoy the opportunity!

Rich Upton · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I, too, love this show along with The Daily Show. I think you are not so worried, but are looking for cleverness from us. Not being all that clever myself all I can give you is a pedestrian response --probably the most obvious things you already know about the show. I.E. I can't write prepared jabs and jokes so my help will be limited. I agree having a few witty retorts in your quiver would be excellent, I just doubt that the ideal moment may not arrive since Steven can be so unpredictable. And the pithy remark might seem canned and not entirely apropos to the moment. That's why, most likely, it is better to ad lib it completely.

Steven is actually quite benign and a big progressive/liberal and all you need to do is be relaxed and roll with the punches. It is primarily a satire program that delivers news so artfully yet goofily that how can you take it to heart as any sort of mean-spirited attack? It isn't much of a threat unless you froze in front of the class reading your book reports. This is especially true when you have to consider that in this case Steven and the audience are sympathetic to your cause.

Not many can match wits with Steven so I wouldn't try to respond to him in kind, of course. Some do that and it is less funny I think-- he comes so far from left field I don't think the audience really expects the guest to respond in the same vein to his attitude and try to be that ludicrous. Even those that have still did OK, so the odds of you blowing it are very low as long as you have even an average sense of humor about you. They do want to hear what it is that makes you so newsworthy and won't be looking for George Burns or Groucho Marx. Which leaves you much room to laugh and enjoy his outrageousness along with the audience. Even so he will give you room to get SOME of your major points across, but he won't miss a chance for a joke at the expense of any exposition you think you will get to wedge in there. Only the facts, just barely, and those achieved obliquely at that, most of the time.

Yes, the audience expects you to be on top of your game, but you are essentially a straight man. Steven will be done with you before you know it as the segment is so short. So don't hold onto any preconceived battle plan. He will tell you "Let's just have some fun out there " before the show and that's it in a nutshell -- this is not a locker room fight. It is very much like bantering at a "cocktail" party and no need to get flustered. I think you should be happy and eager to have this encounter. Breathe and let yourself relax. I think the antics before the show gets to your part will loosened you up so this should be a snap.

Good luck, and I love your work!

Rich

jerseyguy2000 · 3 years ago

Robert,
Here's a great site of cartoons you can use for ideas on how to be funny and satirical at the same time:
http://newstandardnews.net/content/index.cfm?ac...

Good luck!

John Cunningham · 3 years ago

What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, agood guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

Supporting "Executive Privilege" for every Republican ever born, who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Support for hunters who shoot their friends and blame them for wearing orange vests similar to those worn by the quail.

John C... :o(

greg · 3 years ago

Remember to say things, straight-faced, like:

"Well, that's an interesting misconception. I'm sure you'll agree with me. Now, back to what I was saying about..."

(I think I learned this from an animated film by who? Was it George Harrison? One of the Beatles, I think. Oh, I'd love to see that again...I think it was called "The Point".)

Warren Sanford · 3 years ago

Just relax...take a deep breath...and imagine them paying you scale....what the hell does yer rider in yer contract look like-maybe you need an agent/lawyer? It's all in good fun....try to take that in mind.....maybe ask for a lite rid e from the host?

warren

Wendy Leibowitz · 3 years ago

Anticipate his questions, like, what have you got against China? And invent a response: The Chinese can make firecrackers, and we should make other stuff that we buy.

Why should Wal-Mart provide health insurance? It's not a doctor or an insurance company. Say: employees are much more productive when they're alive rather than dead. You've heard of a living wage? Wal-Mart has a dead wage.
etc. have comebacks and ask those questions yourself if he doesn't.
Also be prepared to respond about the people in the movie whose store closd BEFORE Wal-Mart opened (you implied that Wal-Mart put them out of business). Is that a "documentary"? Say, that was the mockumentary part--the "m" is for "mistake."

CheDonnaiolo · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,
Some quick thoughts:

- Clap louder than anyone when he’s coming to interview you. Give him a standing ovation. Maybe give him a big hug. Or, even a kiss. Tell him it’s from Papa Bear O’Reilly. Or, even better, tell him that it’s for Ace from the Ambiguously Gay Duo on SNL. He was the voice for ACE. Maybe tell him that seeing him in human form instead of the cartoon made you lose all your homo-erotic ambiguity.

-- If you’ve seen the show then you know that the interviews aren’t about the interviewee. They’re about the interviewer. Don’t expect to get any coherent thoughts out there. He’ll just rattle you with brilliant nonsense. The best way to combat this is to compliment him and then try and answer the question. Tell him how brilliant he is. Tell him how good looking he is. Compliment him on his smell, his questions, anything you can think of. He might reward this good behavior with letting you speak for a while.

-- Bring a Dungeons and Dragons game for him as a present. Seriously. When he was in high school all he did was play Dungeons and Dragons. He would appreciate the thought.

-- Check out old interviews. Arianna Huffington rocked when she was on the show. Keith Olberman seemed flustered, as if he had never seen the show’s logic before. It’s important, I think, to not show how outrageous you think his questions are. http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_...

-- Know some background info on him: He’s from SC; his first comedy writing was in high school when he was trying to impress a girl- every day he would write a new “James Bondian” way for her to kill her most hated teacher; he played Dungeons and Dragons constantly; he loves Lord of the Rings- was disappointed with the second film the first time he saw it; he went to an all-boys college for a time before transferring to Northwestern; he was a drama major; he took dance in the morning; he went to Europe after graduating from NW; he worked in Chicago for the Second City Improv Troupe before working with Dana Carvey and moving onto Strangers With Candy (which he might be making into a movie); he started working on the Daily Show in 1997 with Craig Kilborn until he made the move to his own show; he’s got some strange relationship with bears, too.

You should check this interview with him out. It’s from 2003, done when he’s not in character. http://filmforce.ign.com/articles/433/433111p1....

This is what Comedy Central has for him: http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_...

-- Finally: Just don’t try to outsmart him. Show him some love, enjoy the ride, remember it’s all fake, remember it’s a comedy show, remember it’s his shtick, compromise your values- if he asks you a great or greatest question answer quickly as if it were a normal question with normal options (perhaps you could tell him he’s the greatest at everything so the questions are all moot), don’t take anything personally, have fun with him, laugh at yourself, and don’t get nervous. Good luck.

jason · 3 years ago

don't do this show! it is a show that attempts to mock other actual and more prestegious news programs, e.i. bill oreilly show. the show is a joke. it is for liberals to laugh at steven colbert (note the french sounding name) pretending to be bill oreill (note the irish tough sounding name). furthermore, if your films are worth watching, you should consider promoting them in more serious venues; his show is, afterall, on comedy central. if you want your films to be taken seriously promote them on the bill o'reall deal show and not that panzy ass mockery.

Jan · 3 years ago

Congradulations! Check out the Arianna Huffington episode with The Colbert Report. She held her own and was up on him!! Good Luck

Doodah · 3 years ago

Ask him whether it's true what people were saying about him and what happened to his cat "Trixey"
Then wink and nod...

San Diego Dave · 3 years ago

I agree with others by giving him a book. No, nothing you might have written--something more stirring like "My Pet Goat!"

TN Jed · 3 years ago

Ask him if his ass is real or did he have it worked on? - he'll definitely like that and give you plenty of latitude to make your points.

DSB · 3 years ago

Wow-- lots of good comments and suggestions. I say review the episode with the woman who was a card shark-- she disarmed Colbert with her serious wit...

Erin · 3 years ago

Remember that he's having you on his show because he AGREES with you...don't think he wants you there so he can prove you wrong...he's going to ask you totaly sarcastic questions that make him look like he's disagreeing with you, but he's only setting you up to make the TRUTH known...remember, he likes truthiness. I think the more fearless honesty you demonstrate, the better off you'll be, and the better off the viewers will be. What's the point of going on a TV show to air your point of view if you're too afraid to do it? Don't let Steven intimidate you. He's a brilliant satirist giving you a great opportunity to get the truth out there. So do it! Good luck!

NFox · 3 years ago

XD

You're gonna get owned by Colbert! Sorry, I'm no help. =P

Shawn beard · 3 years ago

Ask them why they allowed the supreme court to appoint bush president. Surly any self respecting elected official including Al Gore knew that action was illegal. Why is it that every elected official, excepting some silly rantings by barbara boxer and conyers, stood by and acted like bush is a real president. Ask them that right up front and throughout any further questions. Forget gay marriage, roe v wade and God in government. We don't have a valid vote, we're stuck in a war for oil. Terrorisim is striking at the hearts of 10 times as many nations as it was before and it's all been done by a sociopath who was appointed by the supreme court. But no one's done anything about it.

Celeste Chan-Wolfe · 3 years ago

Hi Robert:

I am just reading up from my post, and the really great COMIC PREMISES are...

Dan McCrory's...
I really think you should wear a hat made of aluminum foil and let him know you're wearing it so he can't read your mind. Let him know the real reason you made all these expose's is to show the world is truly under a humongous vast right wing conspiracy. And when you run out of real things to expose you're going to make them up like those guys in the White House, and at the Pentagon, and the Fox News Nework.

And Bam Carlisie's...
I think if you were to sit in the chair bound and gagged it would solve everything...that way you could just nod or shake your head at the appropriate times.

Or Sean's...
I suggest you keep a paper bag with eyeholes cut into it, in your pocket, so when the going gets rough you can slip it over your head and continue the interview in anonymity. You could use a designer bag to distract him even more, maybe one that says, "Greenpeace!"


Comedy is all about telling the truth with exageration and a comic twist. If you can come up with a CHARACTER SPOOF of your own self, you can play this character when the going gets rough (see the above examples). This is Improv to the max.

Moquiti · 3 years ago

First off, don't let Steve read this blog.

Phil · 3 years ago

Satire, Satire ,Satire! People are so poor in this country they can't live without Wall Mart and their generous employment opportunities. What would we do with Alaska if there was no oil, bears, salmon , crab legs. Maybe the White House can relocate! Great ice fishing! I heard that the BLM just opened Bush's Texas ranch up for drilling? When do we start? Closer than Alaska!

Iain · 3 years ago

Just remember one thing, he's only pretending to be the jingo-everyman-patriot talking head.... He's hoping that those viewers who take his satire seriously will hear your responses to set both him and them straight.

John Jeffers · 3 years ago

Large paved areas and big box stores prevent bear habitats

and how about the recent research which shows that smiley faces scare away bears.

Djoh · 3 years ago

Congrats, this could be the best thing for exposure for a worthy cause... so many critical thinking people all over the world will see it. Take the hits as they come as they are great opportunities to flip the bill and really impart some great ideas and promote a conscientious agenda. You'll be great, relax and know that though you may not be able to sway the arrogant, the ingnorant may well walk away from watching with more honest information in order to make better choices that will affect many. Keep your ego out of it and focus on that fact that this exposure may help all the individuals who have been taken advantage of by WalMart... some viewers may even go out and rent the film! I wouldn't miss this episode for the world :) ... nor should anyone else!

Rudy · 3 years ago

You are screwed. The Wal-Mart movie sucked.

Riles · 3 years ago

Mr. GW, why do you hate black people?

Matt · 3 years ago

1. Don't take yourself to seriously. His show is satirical comedy - there is no party line. The only guests that look dumb are those that are clearly trying to push an agenda instead of playing to his jokes.

2. If he says something like, "What do you have against China?" or "Chinese made products are good for the economy", you should jokingly respond by asking him something like, "Are you supporting American over China, isn't that unpatriotic?". Focus on absurdities and sarcasm.

3. Speed is important. The interview is short, so quick responses are crucial to keeping up with him.

4. Don't expect to be the comedian, thats his job. It's alright to crack a few jokes, but don't try to upstage him becuase you'll simply look like you're trying too hard.

5. Lastly, don't worry about it. It's not like you're on Crossfire......

david · 3 years ago

This country will live or die based on our response to the enemy within, thrown elections. It's been happening since 1994 and they, the e-voting machine company's, are getting bolder with each election cycle. The always accurate exit polling has been more and more off since this began. What does logic tell you? Ask Colbert about that. It needs much publicity so that Democrats know that voting absentee may be the only way to get their vote recorded the way they want.

Phil Rizzo · 3 years ago

My years in Toastmasters suggest that picturing yourself confident, relaxed and having fun are the keys to a successful encounter.

It's O.K.to say :

1. I don't know the answer to that
but I'll ask my my wife when I get home.
2. Can I call my lawyer?
3. I think I need more time to sum that up. Like maybe two weeks or the rest of my life.
4.I've never heard of that. Yes, I am a little hard of hearing. Sometimes what I hear is more interesting than what's been said!
5. Are you talking to me?
6. I'd deny that but maybe you're right.
7. Could you repeat that question? Preferably not.
8. Why me?
9. I took a course in survival skills just before I came here. So far it's not helping.
10. Have you ever heard my middle name?
11. D o you know where I was born?
12. Is it O.K. to pray on this show?
13. How about a moment of silence?
14. Let's not talk about the flag it makes me cry. O.K. so it depends on the country.
15. I run 17 miles a day . . . backwards.
16. I feel like an intelligent person . . . or shall we say, did?

david · 3 years ago

This country will live or die based on our response to the enemy within, thrown elections. It's been happening since 1994 and they, the e-voting machine company's, are getting bolder with each election cycle. The always accurate exit polling has been more and more off since this began. What does logic tell you? Ask Colbert about that. It needs much publicity so that Democrats know that voting absentee may be the only way to get their vote recorded the way they want.

Gen · 3 years ago

REMEMBER, this is entertainment...not a search for real information. Grilling you and finding your weakness to his audience's delight, is Colbert's intention. Don't prepare one-liners unless that is something you can pull off. Are you a witty guy? If it doesn't come natural, don't do it. It may be wise to have an idea of what you may respond to the "Why do you hate America" question, but that may best be done by asking questions: "why do you think I hate America-I love America!" Is Wal-Mart America now?" I think the ability to laugh at Colbert's comments and keep it all in perspective is going to be your best strategy. Make him and the audience like you by being humble and going along with the game. And remember-people are confused by this guy-he is viewed by both ends of the political spectrum. the overall message will be heard as long as you can go along with the schtick. Don't try to outsmart him or expose him.

Seth Wissner · 3 years ago

Take it lightly with the serious talk kept abbreviated. If not, I'll still feel good about you, Robert. Break a leg!

fieldiing · 3 years ago

Ask him to explain why deficits don't matter. Don't fall for the Cheney answer that says Reagan is proof. Ask him if he could run his household with huge amounts of debt without endangering his family. Ask him how we could ever have any sort of leverage against China since they are our banker.

Tim Smith · 3 years ago

They do good research on that show But, it's not flawless.
Watch the Jeff Daniels interveiw.Stephen hit him from left field with questions about two local newspaper editorials near his home in rural Michigan. Had Jeff been ready he could have explained that both papers were owned by the same company (how could you anticipate a question like that when your intention was to plug a new movie?) Stephen twisted his inability to answer the question into an admission that his "real" home must be in Hollywood. Mr. Daniels kept his composuer & I thought it was great T.V.
You really can't prepare for this interview so roll with it. You know they are watching us right now and anything we suggest will be re-written and used in the show prior to your interview.
Think of one good line about Bears & keep it to yourself.Use it only as if you have to and you will do fine.
Tell him you would love to do an ultra-conservative film but the funding / intrest just isn't there. Remember, he is on our side & the Republicans just don't see it.

David G. · 3 years ago

Robert,
I am going to echo a lot of the postings thus far.
Critical to your success on the show is remembering that the host is a satirical character. Your job as a guest is to play along. Match Stephen's gravitas with your own brand. He will ask you questions so absurdly spun to the right that the only response it to laugh. Do. His audience is on your side, and though the character Stephen Colbert may not be, the man certainly is. The trick is to balance your message, the promotion of "The Big Guy," and humoring Colbert. I'm sure you'll be well recieved.

Paul · 3 years ago

Be proactive:
Ask him... Steven, what if, just what if George is actually getting messages from God and so God really is a neo-con... doesn't that make you the anit-christ?

Hey hit steven with this neo-con crowd stopped and clock his response time.

Have fun!

niki · 3 years ago

Lot's of good advice in the other comments...

Stephen may ask why you don't support American workers (as in Wal Mart provides lot's of jobs).;
...maybe even suggest you don't care about poor 3rd world children - if you had your way, overseas' sweatshops would be closed and thousands of poor children would be out of work!

He may ask how much money you took from Jack Abermoff (sp?) - he asks just about everyone that question!

He may bring up the "Invisible Hand" of the free market at work in relation to Wal Mart's business model.

Good Luck! I'm bummed I won't be able to see, or to tape the show :-( - I'm moving on Thursday!

Elinor E · 3 years ago

It doesn't really matter how it comes off. Just being invited is serious recognition of your stature and importance. Don't worry!

Jeff · 3 years ago

Stephen uses an attack along the lines of, "Why do you hate America?" After laughing at the line, I'd ask him if he loves his family (he's from a big family with something like 13 kids), when he says that he does ask him if he saw one of his brothers or sisters doing something that was going to hurt the rest of the family would he keep quiet, or would he tell them to stop putting the family in danger. It's not hatred of country (or family) that we do such things, but love of it. Stehphen, of course, knows this, but bringing up the awesome power that is his mother's womb will score you major karma points with him.

And if he asks you anything that you don't have an immediate answer for just peer directly into his eyes and say, "My God, but you are devastatingly handsome man!" You'll be able to coast the rest of the interview.

Vast Left · 3 years ago

Main things:

1. Most important, don't act like you're dealing with a real adversary. Arianna Huffington did and came across rather foolish.

2. Act like he's winning. That's the game -- he outrageously turns logic on its ear, and you're agreeably chagrined about it.

3. Don't try to be a better improviser than he is -- it may be impossible. If you're a little flustered by how he works his crazy faux-conservative logic, that's totally cool. Just show you're a good sport, and you'll do fine.

4. Have a charming response handy for standby questions like "why do you hate America / our troops" and "George Bush, great president or greatest president."

vicky · 3 years ago

I agree with Lisa from the previous post. He always asks "George Bush, great president or the greatest president? If you don't say anything or say something against W, he'll say "okay, I'll put you down for great."

Beat him to the punch line. Tell him your blog readers want to know "George Bush, bad president or the worst president?".

Good luck and have fun!

Anita Fletcher · 3 years ago

Loved Bill Prady's comments and they're dead on. DON'T mention his ears, whatever you do. It's hard to parody a parody, but Colbert pulls it off admirably. Before you answer any question, preface it with the name of the film you're plugging, (i.e., Colbert: What makes you think you can tell Tom DeLay what to do with his Abramoff money". You: Well, Stephen, my film, "The Big Buy"...) I'll be watching!

Ron Hill · 3 years ago

Ok - Here are a couple of items worth considering as good talking points:

Flight 93 - Why didn;t Bush take credit for shooting down the plane? Would have been a major historical event, and the right thing to do.

Shoot it down? Just common sense. Look at a map. The plane turned around near Cleveland. Then headed in a bee-line for Washington. How would the passengers known where they were or what city was below? The plane was being tracked; they had scrambled the fighters. How come we were so lucky that it crashed in the only unpopulated area of barren strip mines? 30-seconds earlier or 30-seconds later - BOOM! there goes Pittsburgh, or Hagerstown.

Second talking point (a good quote):

When Fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in a flag and carrying a cross. Sinclair Lewis

Joan · 3 years ago

You'll be fine!
(Unless you take Kathy's advice & go on drunk, hahaha! Don't do that, Robert! Get smashed AFTER the show!)

But, oh man, one suggestion near the beginning of this thread was BRILLIANT!! (in my humble opinion)
....telling him that the sequel to 'Uncovered' will be called 'UnColberted' (hopefully you know by now that's pronounced "un-cole-beared"!

I think if you say that at the outset it will break the ice, get a laugh, & give him props all at the same time (plus get in a little plug for 'Uncovered', too).

Break a leg! We're all pullin' for ya.....

Hal Tulchin · 3 years ago

Moliere said the definition of farce was to start with an ilogical premise and proceed logically therefrom. So since Colbert is pacticing that art, just go along with everything he says with a very straight face and outspin his illogical questions by playing that they are logical...don't worry about making points..just play his game in a very serious manner by in effect being a yes man..the audience will understand and you will be outfoxing him and hopedfully motivating him to make your points for you

Hal Tulchin · 3 years ago

Moliere said the definition of farce was to start with an ilogical premise and proceed logically therefrom. So since Colbert is pacticing that art, just go along with everything he says with a very straight face and outspin his illogical questions by playing that they are logical...don't worry about making points..just play his game in a very serious manner by in effect being a yes man..the audience will understand and you will be outfoxing him and hopedfully motivating him to make your points for you

Tchen · 3 years ago

Here's a fun article about being on the Repor'.
http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-colbertseriou...
It advises: Bristle at his needling and you look like a bad sport. Crack jokes, and it can seem like you're trying too hard.

Considering you both take pokes at O'Reilly, this interview is a match made in heaven. Just please don't be serious and it should be lots and lots of fun! Can't wait. I hope you enjoy his victory lap before the interview. That always cracks me up.

Mark G. · 3 years ago

Butter him up by saying that "Grizzly Man" let the godless killing machines off easy and your next documentary, "Bears: Nature's Terrorists" will set the record straight. If that doesn't work, imply that you are investigating the fact that the book he is earning 7 figures for is being ghost written in Saipan by underage girls.

Reede S · 3 years ago

You're getting lots of good advice, so I'll just echo what I consider the most important piece. Have fun and be funny. Be prepared to laugh at yourself. Just don't take it too seriously.

Ken Lowder · 3 years ago

'Satirists', like Colbert, depend on the relatively evated thinking and humanitarian capabilities of their audiences.

In my humble estimation, the appreciation and rightousness (?) of the avid Colbert listener is proportional to their IQ + their humaniterian 'quotient'.

Keep asking yourself, "What is the average IHQ (IQ, adjusted for the Humanitarian Quotient) of the average Bush suporter. If there is a way of determining that value, I am sure it would be below room-temperature!
~Ken Lowder!

Sean · 3 years ago

I don't know if I can offer much beyond the myriad of advice you've been given.

1. Don't get even the slightest bit upset. The whole show is a joke and everyone watching it knows it. Getting upset at something rabidly partisan Colbert is sure to ask (he amazingly never breaks character though sometimes cracks up) will show the rest of the world that you don't get it.

2. Expect absolutely absurd questions. You are very likely to be asked why you hate America. Have a good comeback, but don't over rehearse it. It is good to have everything come out naturally.

3. Always remember he is on your side. He will ask questions that on the surface would seem nasty, partisan and usually absurd, but are really phrased and delivered in such a way for you to expose the weaknesses in his character's viewpoint. He pretty much always leaves himself open in some way. He secretly wants you to expose the underbelly of the TV pundits through him.

4. Don't be in a hurry to answer his questions directly. Nobody watching the show (at least the people who will ever care who you are and what you represent) expects you to respond directly to questions like "Why do you hate America?". You might even try asking him an absurd question.

5. If you are feeling punchy, rib him about his French background. You know, like, "You know, in Murika, we pronouce the word 'report' with a 't' on the end. Do you prefer your potatoes french fried or freedom fried?"

6. It is a comedy satire show. Have fun. Smile. Laugh when it is natural. And once again, DON'T GET IRRITATED AND CERTAINLY DON'T SHOW IT.

Sean

I. Horowitz · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,
Perhaps Stephen will refer to your 3 films, and ask you why you have so much trouble with free enterprise..and .the captialist system that has made our country great. He might want to know why you are such a 'spoiler'.
In that event, I suggest you bone up on the differences between a fair and equitable free enterprize system , and the kind that allows as well as fosters the Walmarts, the Tom Delays, etc. etc. Try refering to legislation, past and present that would foster a more level playing field within our free enterprise system. (For ex. legislation that would put checks on the Tom Delays, the Walmarts, the Abramoffs, etc..
As far as Bush, and his over-reaching of his powers that is, which would require examples of how excessive power in the hands of the Presidency can jeopardize the balance of power of our 3 branches of gov't, and therefore threaten the very democracy we hold so dear.

Good luck Robert, and stand your ground.....pleasantly!

colin woolston · 3 years ago

Hello and good luck!
Your two best weapons against Colbert (peace be upon him), I believe, are:
1: Honesty. An effort to curry favor with his fans by trying to be funny or "edgey" will only incite the wrath of Steve, and any effort to be anything but yourself, will open up many doors for the Steve to attack.
2: Preparation. Whatever you are going to talk about...know it. Entering the Lair of Steve with grandiose ideals and good intentions will leave you only seconds to contemplate your demise.........before it happens!
Im sure you will do fine!
Colin!

hellerhiwater · 3 years ago

Turn the tables on Steve. Like he's always calling O'Reilly "Papa Bear" and at the same time he hates bears. There's some spin.

He's going to defend Tom DeLay and may even ask you, "why do you hate America?" But Steve is Canadian. There's some spin!Does Steve believe that evil doers shouldn't be brought to justice by law biding American tax payers? Hard working stiffs getting stiffed just isn't American. We work hard, play hard, and play fair. That's American democracy!

Are Canadians too preoccupied with clubbing baby seals to hold their elected officials accountable? Real American's want to live in a nation where no one is above the law. We believe in iron fisted justice where even the hammer gets hammered.

We like seeing evil swindlers that are bought by sleezey lobbiest (spelling) get taken down. I mean, you can imagine the scene. It's like a Texas western, the bad guy comes to town and manipulates and terrorizes the populace, when some hero comes to town (Earl) and straightens his ass out. Make my day, Steven Colbert, with the raw truth of crooks being the bad guys.

Imagine, Tom DeLay being the Sniddley Whip Lash guy tying some damsel to the rail road tracks, when justice comes riding in....oh, yea, um, that's a Royal Mountie. Um...maybe we should imagine some other hero, an All American one.

remove profiteers from electio · 3 years ago

Colbert: Tell me, (eyebrow raised) why you with your communist pinko friends in unpatriotic Hollywood who obviously are giving you money to finance the making of these so called documentaries are so against the God given right to make a fair profit off the backs of folks that should get down on their knees and thank God that they have a job?
Also my son said Al Franken was excellent-check out a clip of his performance on the "Colbert Report".

David · 3 years ago

Hello there,

Good luck on CR, all I can say is answer honestly and keep it light and fun.

haha just a thought, ask "If this is 'Colbert's Playhouse', how come no one screams when they hear 'the w0rd' ?"

(is that funny or am I the only one?)

Bob E · 3 years ago

I'm 76 and The Daily Show and Colbert Report on NEVER missed here. My advice. Don't PAUSE to think after asked a question. Get right on the answer.....otherwise Colbert won't wait for your answer and you'll be talking at the same time. Laugh alot. Enjoy yourself. You are to congratulated. Just being asked to be on the show is to your credit. We'll all be watching.

Joe ZUbrick · 3 years ago

Play along. Colbert will ask you questions like "Why do you hate our troops?" and "George Bush-great president or greatest president?" Just have a good time. You can believe that the audience will know of your work (and probably feel the same way you do about the Republican Noise Machine and corporate greed.) They'll be on your side. You just can't be offended -if you get a chance to see the segment with Al Franken (maybe available on Mother load- Comedy Central) you should have a good idea of how to play with Colbert.

Bob E · 3 years ago

I'm 76 and The Daily Show and Colbert Report on NEVER missed here. My advice. Don't PAUSE to think after asked a question. Get right on the answer.....otherwise Colbert won't wait for your answer and you'll be talking at the same time. Laugh alot. Enjoy yourself. You are to congratulated. Just being asked to be on the show is to your credit. We'll all be watching.

Harold Taggart · 3 years ago

Use the Scott McClellan approach. When he asks if Bush is a great president or the greatest, respond that you can't comment on ongoing crime sprees.

When he asks why you hate corporations that allow people like you to criticize them, respond that they would sell their country and their mother for a buck.

C. Wood · 3 years ago

Self-deprecation is a good defense against his satirical approach. He takes a faux conservative stance during his interviews for the sake of comedy, but will still let you make your points. I agree with the advice to play the straight man to his dry humor, but not so much that you look stiff. Stay loose and cool and take his barbs with a laugh. Above all, remember, this is comedy. Just relax and be yourself and don't worry so much about whether you come off looking great or playing the fool. Only a man as self absorbed as Mr. O'Reilly would come off looking like an ass. Go get 'em!

Jack D Crane · 3 years ago

Regarding Iraq: In one form or another the question often posed to Democrats is; "You are critical of the Bush administration for getting us into Iraq and apparently not having an exit strategy. Stop being so negative; what is your exit strategy?

Many Democrats have suggested various strategies from one extreme - pack up and go home now, to other more gradual strategies. The fact is Bush has gotten us into this pickle by making horrible judgements in the first place. There is no easy answer to getting us out of what we started in Iraq. That is no reason to continue to support Bush.

More focus needs to be placed on how King George II and his cronies got us into this mess. For so badly reading the intelligence at the time, for using Sadaam as a Surrogate for our anger and frustration over 9/11, for poorly administering defense contracts, for raiding the national treasury to the tune of nearly $400 billion, for abusing the civil rights of thousands of Iraqis, for turning national guardsmen into full-time soldiers, for the needless deaths of thousands on both sides - GEORGE BUSH DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE ALLOWED TO MAKE ANY MORE DUMB DECISIONS. ANY DEMOCRAT COULDN'T DO ANY WORSE.

There is no easy answer. Bush has us stuck deep in the Tar Baby. It overlooks how stupid we were in the first place to ask for a simple solution to getting the tar out of our hair.

martina volpp · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

tell him you do pilates and he better watch out !
Best of luck!

Carl B · 3 years ago

Construct your comments in sound bite style. No lengthy setups, just slogans. Make your points in the first half of your sentences, because he will not let you finish any sentence.
Keep smiling.

david · 3 years ago

You know he is going to ask "Why are you beating up on Walmart when they give us all low prices?"
If you can be ready to respond to a question like that, in whatever form it comes, you will be able to turn the tide, ride the wave, and enjoy the show....keep your answers short; and keep them snappy!

Cathy · 3 years ago

Watch the program in which he interviewed Cokie Roberts.
She played it straight, stared him down when he was being overly outrageous and came through it just fine.

morgan spencer · 3 years ago

you said it yourself,

"Stephen has his team of researchers and producers, but I have you -- our loyal activists and savvy media consumers whose collective experience and intelligence I have no doubt will help me give the "Colbert Report" team a run for their money."

when you get into trouble repeat that and put him on the defensive.

Your great Robert...you can do this. good luck

Earl · 3 years ago

The show is a fairly liberal one and therefore i doubt the two of you will disagree on many issues like the wal-mart issue or the current administration. I would advise you to approach the show in a relaxed manner as it is after all on Comedy Central. I am 17, watch the show, and can tell you that if guests take the show too seriously, they make fools of themselves. Enjoy this wonderful oppurtunity and dont be afraid to make your points. See you on the show!

Bart Wisialowski · 3 years ago

A likely question: "Bush: great president or greatest president?"

Give the unlikely answer: "Greastest. No doubt in my mind, though [insert name of a despicable President -- Richard Nixon, Warren Harding, James Polk] is a close second in my book."

VS Keith · 3 years ago

Be dogged and vehement. This is OUR big chance to be heard through you. Go get 'em TIGER with your brilliance. He will look like more the fool trying to trivialize what you are saying. If he secretly likes you, which I believe he does since he has asked you to come in, he wants to give you an opportunity to have your say so don't waste it being tame and defensive. Let him be the fool, that's his job. You're the BOSS!

Michael J. Larkin · 3 years ago

Yesterday, I was talking to Prof. Ken Miller from Brown University and I asked him about his experience as a guest on the Colbert Report (which I watch nightly, BTW.) Prof. Miller testified against intelligent design at the trial in Dover, PA. He said that the one thing he was determined to do was to get in a dig against Bill O'Reilly. Sure enough, Colbert made some remark to the effect of, "you don't really believe we are all descended from apes," which allowed Miller to come back with, "yes, we all are, even Bill O'Reilly."

tuffers · 3 years ago

recently a conservative friend of mine made a comment about some small rural town in the mid west "needing a Wal-Mart". I told him he should see your documentary on how Wal Mart is exploiting it's workers here and abroad and how it decimates the culture of small communities and crushes other small businesses. His response was that there was nothing there to begin with and that it was so depressed that a Wal Mart would bring much needed jobs... my thoughts were, why would Wal Mart go where there "is nothing", but I didn't bring that up. But that is a question that is hard to answer such that it makes an impact on the other side's thinking: "Wal-Mart" brings jobs where none existed and provides low cost goods to the community...course I don't believe this but you might want to chomp on that one....

candace · 3 years ago

Colbert is going to ask you how could you hate Wal-Mart when that nice fellow Andrew Young has just become their spokesperson because they provide "quality products that poor people can afford". Don't you know that Wal-Mart's mission is to help the poor people?
And Andrew Young is a smart liberal guy. He even used to be an ambassador. They couldn't be pulling the wool over his eyes. And he certainly would not be doing it for personal gain.

Lucia · 3 years ago

Best Luck and thanks for letting us know. We will set the TiVO and watch at our leisure. Thanks for telling us about the new film, too!
Please help Phoenix get Air America back, so we can have an alternative to right wing news.
Thanks.

Tori · 3 years ago

When he asks you about the immigration debate, assure him that you are all for legal immigration, but let him know that illegal immigration hurts American workers. The President loves to say that undocumented workers are needed to do the jobs Americans are unwilling to do, but that is not true! Americans will perform less desirable jobs for fair, living wages!

Debra Peebles · 3 years ago

Dear Robert:,

It's great to be a guest on the Colbert Report whether you're brilliant or witty, or funny!! His guests are always memorable. Although, I'm always a little embarrassed for the ones who look like poor deer caught in the headlights. He will try to stray off topic, and the best guests stray with him briefly and guide Colbert back to topic. He likes this whole short attention span thing!! Hahaha!!

morgan spencer · 3 years ago

I wasn't as clear with the last post so hear it goes


"Stephen , you have a team of researchers and producers, but I have -- our loyal activists and savvy media consumers have collective experience and intelligence.

If he gets you up against the ropes duck with that and then get back in the center of the ring.

Remember ROCKY...you can do this. good luck

dean vincent · 3 years ago

Turn the table so him. Take everything you feel you will discuss and espouse the opposite of what you believe, but in a slightly campe way. They'll probably stop taping. After all... that's what he does to your positions. Espouse the opposite. Get the jump on him! dv

morgan spencer · 3 years ago

I wasn't as clear with the last post so hear it goes


"Stephen , you have a team of researchers and producers, but I have -- our loyal activists and savvy media consumers have collective experience and intelligence.

If he gets you up against the ropes duck with that and then get back in the center of the ring.

Remember ROCKY...you can do this. good luck

Terry Andre · 3 years ago

Totally agree with the truthiness of all previous suggestions for humor. But now, turning to using the opportunity to our gain -- this is a great PR opportunity! Steven will promote one of your films -- ASAP 'have your people talk with his people' about which film will be the one that they illustrate during the program -- and be able to tie into it with the banter in a hilarious way. You may be able to influence which film, or even get them to mention several. Then as a final note, find some hilarious ways to slip in some of your other titles. THIS IS A GREAT WIN FOR US ALL.

Wes Brosman · 3 years ago

You will do just fine. You will be aomong friends.

susan schaller · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I love meeting again, and again, in such different ways!!!
When I had lunch with you the first time, part of my job was training staff for television and radio. Ronald Reagan was a master. Remember him and use the same tricks. A real example: When he was asked why he wasn't going to visit any Holocaust memorial sites in Germany, he answered:" I'm glad you asked me that; I was just discussing that with my friend Rabbi____. " Then he talked about how he was friends with the Rabbi and never answered the question. The two things to remember is how to buy time and stay calm (like the "I'm glad you..." or as has been mentioned - compliment him on his looks, his phrasing - anything; and, focus on what you want to say - you can control the show by using him - not reacting to his agenda. KNOW what you want to say regardless of his agenda. Use your good intelligence and wit to make a bridge from his comment (a word - a related theme) to what you want to get across.

It helps to think of how hippies and flower children manipulated the media - they changed the rules. Keep a picture of a flower child putting a flower in a rifle. You'll be great as long as you are you and not his toy.

Quinn · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I never watch teevee, but I'll make someone tivo the show for me. Mission accomplished...your cry for help is a great tactic. Great movies, too.

Nate · 3 years ago

Colbert is an accomplished comedian and is able to play both the funny man and the straight man. If you have a serious talent for making jokes and cracking wise then lead the discussion and Colbert will take up the straight man position. If you can't, and most people can't, be more funny than Colbert play the straight guy. Let him bounce off you and don't try to top him, just a sly joke here or there. As for what questions you'll get, probably lots of "Why do you hate America/capitalism/China/"Papa Bear" Bill O'Reilly/etc. etc. etc. Whatever you do, realize your playing his game by his rules, and he's really good at it.

phil smo · 3 years ago

The truth, though widely abused and denigrated, still holds sway. Have your facts straight. Leave the rhetoric at the door. Don't compete with Colbert (or his writers) for comedic lines and/or pregnant pauses.

We will love hearing the truth ... it needs to be spoken to power?! No!! It must be relayed to us all.

Let us hear your truths and make our decisions about them.

Thanks for your asking us for advice. I own your previous three films (have hosted house parties around them), and look forward to the next production.

In peace,
Phil

Matt Levine · 3 years ago

Stephen will make it fairly easy for you. Just think of his attacks as opportunities to explain the truth, because that's his intention. If you can think of a witty retort, then go for it. Otherwise, just say, "Well, actually..." and then correct his misstatement. He'll allow you to get your point across. He will almost certainly ask you "Aren't you just an elite Hollywood liberal?" to which you might respond, "I may be, but I'm trying to represent the interests of the common man," or something to that effect.

Leo · 3 years ago

Robert,
Do not let Colbert put words in your mouth....he will quiclky and with with great humor define your terms..or what you are saying.

You must be able to laught at yourself ...if you don't your are dead!

Brian · 3 years ago

My advice is this:

Listen to his interview on NPR from Apr-08-2005 on Fresh Air from WHYY .

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?st...

or type Stephen Colbert in the search engine.

This should help you get an idea of where he is coming from in his own words. I think that might help.

I would also recommend, as other shave, that you have the easy/straight answers prepared for.

"why do you hate the: troops, president, america, corporations, capatalism, etc..."

If you are charged with being an elitist, I personally (and this is only my opinion) would be proud of being an east/west coast elitist. I would love (and this is more for me) to hear someone embrace education and intelligence. As another person above pointed out, don't go into menutia. Just embrace intelligence.

The way to come off well is to take a note from the politicians and have a simple but cogent argument for each movie you have made and if he tries to change the topic, stay to your point. Or if you feel comfortable engaging Steve just remember to stay to the point, not necessarily brief, just to the point. Also, argue to the audience, not to him. You won't convince him, it isn't part of the character he plays. Just try and convince the audience. Get the audience to cheer and support you. Ask him questions back?

Steve: "why don't you support the troops?"
You: "why do you support a president who endangers our children?"

BEST OF LUCK!!

Tex Texerson · 3 years ago

Ignore everything Colbert says and keep asking where Jon Stewart is.

Seriously, are there actually people out there who think Colbert is being serious?

Dianne · 3 years ago

Don't worry...you'll do fine! Colbert is a genius with satire, but I'm sure you will hold your own just fine. Answer his jokes with a catchy come back. He'll keep you on your toes, but you should be able to stand toe to toe with him.

I thought Olbermann did a brilliant job with Colbert. Maybe if you watch through his interview if you haven't seen it yet you can get some pointers/ideas: http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/03/15.html#a...

joe Davis · 3 years ago

You definitely have to go with the flow and maintain a sense of humor. You can't lock horns, it's like asking someone if they still beat their wife. It's tongue and cheek and he's great at it. If you posture, he'll eat you alive!

Parody back! He might even appreciate a zinger if it's not hateful. Something like... you heard that this administration has come up with a way to eliminate the "bird flu". They've decided to blow up the Canary Islands.

Oh well, I thought it was funny!

Good luck.

Peg Yorkin · 3 years ago

To be serious for one moment: Stephen had a woman on last week whom he treated quite nicely. I remember thinking it was unusual. But I can't for the life of me remember who it was. I'm sure you will find it. And it may be because she is a woman, but perhaps not. He does a great show and you will be fine.

Gary Gaines · 3 years ago

There is no defense like a good offense.

Before Colbert can say anything -----

"How much did you pay for that suit?"
"How much for the shoes?"
"What have YOU done to help end the war?"
"Have YOU been to an anti-war rally?"
"Have YOU donated $$ to MFSO or another organization that is fighting against the war?"

RAPID FIRE - Don't give him time to react.

I know he is one of the good guys. But you wanted to know how to level the playing field.

NAIL HIM!!

mh · 3 years ago

Journalists and polititians often say, "I'll take that question"
as a way of deflecting.

good luck!

Biff Thiele · 3 years ago

First of all, remember that Stephen is one of us. His show sprouted from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. These guys are as liberal as they come. Stephen's show is 100% satire. He is making fun of Bill O'Reilly. That is the sole purpose of his show.

Be yourself, have fun. He will poke fun with you and you just need to be relaxed and role with the punches. Let him do all the talking. Praise him and tell him about your apprehension and how you came on the show because it's your son's favorite show.

He pretends to love Bush and O'Reilly as part of the gag. Once you understand that, you will be fine. Use it to say what you want. If you attack Bush or O'Reilly, Stephen will respond with something like "Why do you hate our troops?" Then you can jump in with "I love our troops. It's the administration's policies that I have issues with. They are killing our men and women for oil and the Haliburton's of the world. We are not safer than we were before we attacked Iraq." Talk about that or the Downing Street Memo or whatever points you want to make... and off you go on your talking points.

You will be fine. If you need to feel more comfortable, watch the Daily Show and the Colbert Report. If you want to see how Stephen works, watch O'Reilly - if you can stand it. The audience will cheer you - I promise.

Ashley S. · 3 years ago

I have to agree with everyone else who said turn everything back on Stephen, it's his weak point. His show is hard to get an important point across because all he is looking for is a joke. As long as you stay relaxed and don't take it too seriously, you'll do wonderful.

Saying "I thought you were great in 'The 40 Year Old Virgin' is a great opener. It will make the audience laugh and give Stephen a good jab! great suggestion by Rob H.

mwd · 3 years ago

Re: Colbert report

His schtick is arrogance, and he is quick. An admiring "wow -- Is my lip bleeding?" And then a strong response meekly stated, eg. "I used to think Scrooge was the villian and Bob Cratchet's family deserved to eat, buy maybe you're right." This will feed right in to his satiric approach.

George Carlin's one-liner might come in handy: "I've got this moron thing I do. It's called thinking."

Another: "Not to say one is better than the other, but we have a different approach than FOX and the RNC. We like to use these little things called facts."

If you think you can pull it off, use the "some people say" technique to zing him, eg. "Some people say you're just an O'Reilly wannabe" and when he responds say, "O, I don't say that. I think they're wrong. Must be why they're scared to say who they are. Dispicable cowards. Dispicable. Me, I'm just here to bask in your brilliance."

No More Mr. Nice Guy! · 3 years ago

Don't take yourself too seriously and be prepared to be poked fun at. Otherwise you will look like an ass. On the other hand don't try to be a comedian and to top him - comedy is a lot harder than people realize! Smile indulgently at his questions but stay on message. Get in as many damning facts as possible about Wal-Mart, Fox or whatever. Remember, the audience WILL be sympathetic to you.

Char · 3 years ago

Cobert's humor is satire. He genuinlly is on our side. He will ask what you have against Chinese people. He will note that Wal-Mart is the top US employer. He might even make reference to the Wal-Mart Greeter and ask you how else is going to give that dizzy old man/woman a job?
He may ask you "President George W. Bush, Great President or the Greatest president?"

Be yourself, but don't take yourself too seriously. Show you are able to laugh at yourself. HAVE FUN!

Sarah · 3 years ago

Just look dashingly handsome - Colbert's a sucker for the hot men.
Anderson Cooper, anyone?

Erik Muten · 3 years ago

Robert:

Be good-natured, authentic, smile & laugh at his jokes and look for any opportunity to not be 'right' but brilliantly confused by what is happening in the world. Have a few key situations or stories that are essential to your work in the world. Be a good straight man. Praise the things you like about him. Tell him you are trying to avoid embarrassing your son who loves his work.

Julian Kernes · 3 years ago

Go for the joke answer as much as possible.

Don't know if this will help.

I think Stephen Colbert is sort of in the mode of a Libertarian.

Libertarians don't believe in government regulating corporations and they support individual rights. Or another words government is useless. I would say especially when you hire people who think goverment is useless to administer things in government poorly. A self-fullfilling prophecy.

Maybe ask how we can possibly buy nice things when we aren't earning enough to buy anthing nice.

How about mentioning the corporate welfare or affirmative action for the rich.

Greg · 3 years ago

I have never seen the show being that I don't have cable, but from reading the comments here, I assume this guy is a wing-nut?? If he asks you why you hate America, respond as you would but throw it back in his face. Repugs(as I call them) are the ones who hate America. Why? Ask him what a repug has done that is good for this country? Ask why is it that repugs vote against civil/voting rights? Or why is it that repugs never do anything for poor people (and they haven't). Then just build on that from there. I wish I could do it. I get in his face.

Doug Johnson · 3 years ago

Too many comments to read thru but I'll offer some things anyway:
1. Bring as many members of the team with you and have them all appear on stage with you as a collective mass to be dealt with. Pepper him with questions; don't let up!

2. If this is impossible bring in a cell phone or wireless with all of your team connected live; make sure the volume is up and everyone can hear all contributions!

3, If things are at all looking out of hand or too much to deal with then just start discussing how one of your next movies will be an indepth examination of the alledged corruption permeating the Colbert show and its nepotistic relationship with John Stewart and the comedy channel.

4. Take a large page from www.cnvc.org and when he says something that hurts or is pleasant tell him, "When you say things like that I feel lots of pain/pleasure because my needs for compassion and understanding are not (or are) being met and I'd like you to tell me what you think I've said.

5. Make sure you look him in the eye and when he least expects it give him a solid raspberry!

Julian Kernes · 3 years ago

Perhaps mention you are considering making an expose on the Colbert Report.

soulbelly · 3 years ago

Be genuine and playful like a child.
What's important stays the same on your end, do not try and conform to what you think will work.
It seems like he is looking for the squirm in everyone and how seriously you take yourself determines how trapped you are...
He's wonderful

John Kavanaugh · 3 years ago

When Stephen Colbert says something either really stupid or really rude: Tell him he is being stupid or rude! My bet is that it will bounce off him and he will salvage the situation by switching gears towards being decent. I have seen him do that!

If all else fails ask him, "Did your Mother cough?"

John Kavanaugh · 3 years ago

When Stephen Colbert says something either really stupid or really rude: Tell him he is being stupid or rude! My bet is that it will bounce off him and he will salvage the situation by switching gears towards being decent. I have seen him do that!

If all else fails ask him, "Did your Mother cough?"

John Kavanaugh · 3 years ago

When Stephen Colbert says something either really stupid or really rude: Tell him he is being stupid or rude! My bet is that it will bounce off him and he will salvage the situation by switching gears towards being decent. I have seen him do that!

If all else fails ask him, "Did your Mother cough?"

Karen · 3 years ago

Suck up a little--Tell him you were born in the Quad Cities and you've been a fan of his since 1995 and Exit 57. from a fan website---Exit 57 was a half-hour sketch comedy series produced by HBO for the Comedy Central cable network in 1995 and 1996.

The sketches took place within the fictional suburban setting of Quad Cities. The opening credits depicted the five cast members standing near their broken down car on the side of the highway. A bizarre motorist picks them up. The driver was listening to a news report on the radio about a serial killer, but he changes the station. The song "If I Knew You Were Coming I'd Have Baked a Cake" plays as he holds a camera up to snap photos of each passenger. Paul, Stephen, Jodi, Amy, and Mitch become visibly suspicious of their driver's strange behavior and they ask him to pull off the highway onto Exit 57.

The stars and creators of Exit 57 (Paul Dinello, Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris, Mitch Rouse) all knew each other from their days with the famed Second City comedy troupe.

During Exit 57's two-year run, the show earned five CableACE Award nominations for best writing, performing, and comedy series.

Bart Wisialowski · 3 years ago

The most likely question: "What do you have against Walmart? [Blah, blah]...low prices [blah, blah]."

A possible reply: "You're from South Carolina, right? .... Weren't they the first state to secede from the Union, by the way? .... Anyway, one of the great things about South Carolina cotton in the early 1800s was that it was cheap -- real good prices. Now, Walmart doesn't own slaves, but good prices don't justify immoral practices."

Another reply to throw in somewhere: "Let me put it in terms you can appreciate. Walmart is like a bear: it is a godless killing machine eating away at the heart of America."

Shelley Wagner · 3 years ago

DON'T try to "comeback." Laugh with him. A self-effacing humor is okay as long as your point is made. Just know you are going to be roasted, enjoy the experience, and laugh. Roll with the punches. I agree, he is on our side. And I agree with Kathi's comment.

Jo · 3 years ago

I don't think Colbert is OCD, but I do think he relies on social conventions to make his guests look stupid and that is the point of his interview and show. Obviously, you don't want to look stupid and you don't want to make him look stupid which would make you look stupid in turn. So, give him some easy pickin's like the "China" question and rehearse some not too insulting comebacks to the most insulting questions you can think of. Then you may want to use some situational incongruencies to throw him off guard when he has said something you don't really want to answer. You could answer with a verbal incongruency, "It depends", "I don't know", "let me get back to you on that", "let me call ...(my brother, George W. or any other person) for advice on how to answer that", you can always pull a snack (hostess twinkies) out of your pocket and eat one, offering him the other. You can sneeze, blow your nose loudly, pick at your sandaled toes, on your feet, paint your toes with toenail polish, eat a sandwich from a lunchbox you bring, comment on how comfortable your underwear is, which was made in China or any number of unexpected acts. Bottom line is; Colbert wants you to be offended and to say something irrational, you can take as much time as you wish to answer his questions and you can answer them in physical as well as verbal ways. Drink a beer before you go on so you relax. Wear what you like best. You'll do fine. And remember, any advertising is good advertising. No matter what you say or do, more people will know of you and your work. I'm a psychology graduate student and a fan of your causes.

Andy Lee · 3 years ago

I have to say I disagree with the suggestions that you suck up to him. It'll be good for a laugh or two, but if you start to overwork it he'll find some funny way to call you on it. He wasn't born yesterday! :)

I agree, don't laugh too much and don't try to be funnier than you are. The improv advice is good, and I like the "40-Year-Old Virgin" and loofah ideas, though who knows, maybe he's reading now and will be prepared. Hell, maybe he *submitted* those ideas!

When in doubt, simply take his questions at face value and answer them reasonably. Don't worry about being entertaining, he'll steer the conversation masterfully.

Disclaimer: I'm terrible at thinking on my feet in these situations. So I'm saying do as I say, not as I do.

Barry · 3 years ago

Every time he asks you a weird question like "Why do you hate America", reply with something along the lines of "I'm a congressman that represents America, and asking me why I hate America is a direct attack on America. So you should be asking why YOU hate america."

You're almost guaranteed to get that question.

Daniel J Burke · 3 years ago

Have prepared in advance 3 or 4 pre-written jokes that you test out on friends and rework until the jokes are crisp and funny. These should be jokes that can be told with a straight face. The subject should be the film or Tom Delay or related items. During the interview, you may only be able to blend in one joke, but your ammo should be ready.

Enjoy yourself. The audience in the studio and at home are on your side and will love you.
Dan

Don Plummer · 3 years ago

Tell him you are growing great big ones and your next project will involve all the information currently available at www.WTC7.net. AND, please, if you are not aware of this site, check it out as it is the most compelling info you will see in your entire lifetime - I guarantee this.

Thomas · 3 years ago

I suppose you have a few choices. One would be to approach him as a self-effacing individual completely at his mercy, which would stroke his ego, but maintain your position. Another would be to follow the Bush league's method: deny, deny, deny, and when faced with irrefuatable evidence, blame someone else.
Just remember, people like to talk about themselves, and we like people like us. So dress just like him if you can, and keep him talking about himself. Before you know it, you'll be hosting the show!

The Honorble Gloria Kennedy Fl · 3 years ago

Dear Robert:

It's simple, put cheek in mouth, and tell Steven how much you enjoy how Dick Cheney came up with eliminating the social security crisis by "misfiring" at senior citizens (thought it was a bird); a sure "fire" way to do away with litigating attorneys' (thought it was a bird) and finally agreeing to serve with Bush because Haliburton was broke.

Gloria Kennedy Fleck
Deputy Majority Leader Emeritus
Rhode Island Senate

steve b · 3 years ago

Definitely be prepared for asinine attacks. Take nothing seriously, especially the attacks, but act serious and try to respond with the most asinine/sarcastic thing you can think of, all while sounding matter-of-fact. I suggest this based on not only Colbert's method and delivery, but also the tone of the comedy in America, the book. Think up untrue, asinine reasons and excuses for your political beliefs and interests, like "I got interested in the plight of sweatshops after stumbling across a story while searching for pictures of young asian girls on the web" (a la Rob Cordry). Stephen, I think, has the most appreciation for self deprication and matter of fact sarcasm and irony. Practice making fun of yourself to prep for meeting him.

Monique · 3 years ago

Robert,

Remember: Colbert is like Jon Stewart on Comedy Central. The show is just comedy. My advice to you is not to give new information (meaning your upcoming films or politcal opinions) on that show. I would say have fun out there. If he talks fast, you talk fast. Just mirror him! Get to the point and once the show is over, then leave. And knowing you, bring some tissues because you might get nervious! Just have fun and relax! You will do well!

hettie · 3 years ago

Stephen loves it when I guest says something funny, and he really laughs. He is a genius, but just relax and have fun. I am 60 years old and his show is my favorite. I love him. Watch the Barbara Boxer show.

Harry Palms · 3 years ago

1st tune into the satyric style of the show by studying "The Word" segments.

Tell him things like: "I did Outfoxed because I was jealous of Papa Bear's ability to earn enough money doing a phony news show to pay of his sexual harrassment lawsuits"
or
"It took so long to make "Wal-Mart" because I only hired part time workers so they wouldn't lose their Foodstamps"

You get the idea...

Dena in Upstate NY · 3 years ago

The best guests on The Colbert Report are, above all else, honest. Don't try to one-up him with jokes, because that strategy never works. Be the stright man. That is what ALWAYS works. Laugh when he really makes you laugh. It will humamize you and enhance your street cred.

Your kid will love it. So will we. Relax and have fun.

Steve from Shepherdstown, West · 3 years ago

Hey Robert - When he introduces you as Robert... tell him your first name actually rhymes with his last name...

And when he asks you "George Bush, great president or greatest president?" come back with "Best reason for impeachment - getting a "hummer" from an intern or sending young Americans to Iraq to get blown up in a "Hummer"?"

Tell him the best reason to NOT impeach Bush is Dick Cheney, next in the line of succession.

Then Dennis Hastert who has bad posture both physically and politically.

Then President pro tempore of the Senate Ted Stevens because he may throw a tissy fit if he doesn't get his way.

Then Condelezza Rice because everytime I see her in those black boots I think of Steve Earle singing "Oh Condi, Condi..."

Then John Snow, Sec. of Treasury, because he is up to his balls... er, eyeballs in the Dubai World Ports deal due to his close association with CSX (the shipping container giant) owned by the former contractor and taken over by DWP which would have added millions and millions of dollars to Snow's "port"folio.

Then Defense Sec. Donald Rumsfeld... holy shit, we're all going to die!

Then Alberto Gonzales... the conscience of GW ( or lack thereof, especially in matters concerning torture, civil rights, domestic spying, etc. etc.)

Then the Sec. of the Interior, nominee Gov. Dirk Kempthorn of Idaho... wait a minute... if he gets confirmed he will be moved down the list... the Senate passed a bill that is awaiting House approval to move the number 18 in the line of succession up to number 8... can you spell FEMA... or how about wide open borders... or how about FUBAR... Michael Chertoff... can you imagine listening to that guy give a State of the Union address... give the boy some testostrone to lower his voice and some cheese burgers to fatten him up some.

Agriculture Sec. Mike Johanns would be great too... imagine setting on your deck at sunset, fresh Spotted Owl on the BBQ and a boat load of National Forest timber sailing off in board feet towards Japan.

The reasons go on and on for not impeaching George Bush... the next two in the line of succession aren't even eligible due to not being native born Americans... Carlos Guteirrez, Sec. of Commerce was born in Cuba (how come we don't have open trade with Castro then?) and Sec. of Labor Elaine Chao was born in Taiwan (What?, no guest worker program yet?).

Ten or eleven reasons to "Just say NO to impeachment" should be good enough!

Have a great time with Colbert... just look at him and imagine he's one of the Waltons!

Edith · 3 years ago

I was linked to your blog from a Colbert discussion site. I'm not familiar with your work, but now I want to see your stuff! Remember, this is what going on Colbert is all about -- accessing an audience of people who happen to like late-night satirical news shows on Comedy Central.

You are definitely doomed, though. The Colbert Report's staff certainly knows that this discussion is happening. I think it's a pretty safe bet that Colbert may mention this thread in the interview with you. If I were you, prepare to defend questions pertaining to your cowardice in the face of the Almighty Stephen, as evidenced by this blog!

Leo · 3 years ago

Just remember if Corbert tells you to shut up or takes a cheap shot ask him what's wrong with his ear...he'll cry like a baby.

Patsy · 3 years ago

You must go on the defensive (humorously, of course) and be prepared to answer the question "Why do you hate our troops?" in a witty and pithy manner. It is also crucial to be able to respond to "President Bush: great president or THE greatest president ever?" Just stick to those two points and you can't go wrong. Good luck!

Bart Wisialowski · 3 years ago

Something to ask Colbert, just for fun:

"You have a problem with bears, right? .... Then why do you call your hero and mentor 'Papa bear'?"

Jeanine · 3 years ago

Hi,
First of all, be yourself and relax. I am sure you'll do great. What I do when people ask me questions I have no clue what to say is simply say something like, "Thank you very much for your interesting question. I will need more time to think about it. I promise I will think deeply about it."
Wearing the flag colors or something like that would probably help, too. Just to do what someone else said, to make him not say that you hate the U.S.

joeo · 3 years ago

He's on our side, you have nothing to worry about. The character he plays on the Colbert Show, is a parity on the extreme right.

Thomas Wurster · 3 years ago

The Colbert Report is a favotite of mine, my wife, and my 14 year old son.

First you must compliment him on his looks. He likes that. Also tell him how smart he is. He likes that too.

If he asks if Pres. Bush is a great president or the greatest president the only good answer would be, " he's the best president since Clinton".

Good luck. We will be watching.

Natalie · 3 years ago

I just have to say how amazed I am at how many people don't get what the Stephen Colbert show is really about. It's a JOKE, people. Just as the smarter commentators below have explained, he is satirizing Bill O'Reilly, etc., and it's actually not that hard to get if you watch a few shows.

Robert, you do NOT have to worry! I agree with the person who said that you should take the opportunity to present your views while playing along with the joke.

Also, maybe you should ask your son to let you watch some of the previous episodes (if he's recorded them) or, better yet, have him explain the show to you. I'll bet he gets it!

Most of all, do NOT worry. Stephen Colbert is on our side and is hilarious, Actually, I think he treats his guests quite well. The only real way to lose on his show is to not have a sense of humor. Recently "Miss Manners" did an interview on the show and made a complete idiot out of herself (not sure she was exactly a genius anyway but that's beside the point) because she seemed to have no clue whatsoever that Stephen really does not believe it's wrong for the press to question the president. I mean, really. Is this whole country satire impaired?

S.A.R. Kingston · 3 years ago

Smile a lot!

rfrisch · 3 years ago

Rerun the show which had Lorraine Bracco of The Sopranos as a guest. She was completely successful by agreeing with SC's outrageous questions and often taking him further than he had thought of going.

Boyd 9 · 3 years ago

Sure, it's satire, but above all else, BE SURE TO PLUG YOUR WEBSITE and your latest project. That's what you're there for - - exposure - - People will ultimately forget what jab Colbert may have gotten over on you, but make sure they remember your website after the piece is over. Good Luck.

P.S. I'd bring a teddy bear with me, personally.........

Damien · 3 years ago

"Mr. Greenwald, you've just released a 'documentary' critiquing Wal-Mart's business practices. What do you have against the middle class, free enterprise, and / or apple pie?"

"Mr. Greenwald, I understand you've filmed a so-called documentary about Bill O'Reilly's negative influence on Fox News. Do you realize that insulting 'Papa Bear' on this show amounts to a capital offense?"

"So, what makes you different from the latte-sipping, Volvo-driving, Bush-hating, anti-globalization, secular humanist left?"

There's three questions that I, doing my impression of Stephen Colbert doing his impression of a conservative blowhard, would ask you.

Good luck!

Pat Snee · 3 years ago

Colbert will ask:
1. So why are you trying to destroy the president?
2. What Al Qaeda operatives shoot your video in the Arab world?
3. Did you ever try holding a real job?
4. Did you have a bad Wal-Mart experience as a child?
5. Aren't we letting free speech get out-of-hand with your kind?
6. Why do you hate America?
7. What are you hiding?
8. Aren't you just a left-leaning socialist Jew?
9. Sure, but would you take on Sean Hannity?
Why can't you support our troops?

Larry Carney · 3 years ago

I'm not familiar with the Steve Colbert show so I don't have too much expertese...off hand, I'd suggest you begin the interview by giving him a kick in the groin...that seems to usually work for most people.

Pat Snee · 3 years ago

Colbert will ask:
1. So why are you trying to destroy the president?
2. What Al Qaeda operatives shoot your video in the Arab world?
3. Did you ever try holding a real job?
4. Did you have a bad Wal-Mart experience as a child?
5. Aren't we letting free speech get out-of-hand with your kind?
6. Why do you hate America?
7. What are you hiding?
8. Aren't you just a left-leaning socialist Jew?
9. Sure, but would you take on Sean Hannity?
Why can't you support our troops?

Shirleywoo · 3 years ago

If he is any kind of a journalist, he's going to find out about this blog.

Now I've never heard Stephen Colbert 's show and I don't know him...BUT...If I were him, I'd take shots at the advice given here and try to trip you up with it. I might even, if I were him pretend to be someone else and post suggestions myself.

Just imagine the fun he could have with our comments, support, and suggestions to you... and it is all in preparation for HIM and your visit to HIS show.

Be sure you're up to date about what's written here and have fun with it...use it yourself to disarm him

:)

PS: I love the idea about giving him a loofa

Larry Carney · 3 years ago

I'm not familiar with the Steve Colbert show so I don't have too much expertese...off hand, I'd suggest you begin the interview by giving him a kick in the groin...that seems to usually work for most people.

Michelle · 3 years ago

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And if the woodchuck could chuck wood, would the woodchuck support the Democratic party, or the Republican party? After all, with the Democrats, the Woodchuck could get a good gnaw on Al Gore's wooden delivery...or Bill Clinton's...umm...whatever. OR...George Bush could encourage rampant woodchuck sex(within the bounds of marriage, of course), and give to the woodchuck all the lands that the environmentalists want to protect and share his wood with the lumber industry. Colbert...?? Hello??? You still there? ;-)

Norma · 3 years ago

I'm with Nathan; Colbert will ask you why you hate the Chinese people? Tell him because they're short. He will be stopped for a moment (maybe), then add, and one day they will all be as tall as that Chinese guy that plays basketball. Then March Madness is going to be renamed, Kung Pao Madness, and I don't like that.

Stephen is bound to smile at that, and we'll get a glimpse of that dimple in his cheek. I like that.

ben kelley · 3 years ago

You don't need anyone's advice in order to be a great guest on the Colbert Report - doubtless you understand the subtext to a T. That being said, here's a suggestion:

Early on in the interview, let it be known that you are seriously considering doing your next film ABOUT Colbert and "ze Rapport." That might provoke a fascinating dialogue.

My sense is that behind his saber-tooth Swiftian humor lies a really charming person. (You'll find out one way or the other in the Green Room!) That person can't show himself on the show, of course - except once in a while when he cracks up despite himself - but he's always in there rooting for TRUTH - in the Really True sense.

Final unneeded advice: Have fun! You'll be great, like your films!

Gerald T. · 3 years ago

Purchase a pair of the " Groucho Marx " eyeglasses,
the ones with the bushy eyebrows & nose w/attached moustache. Wear them just as you go on , and comment that you are in disguise due to " I have many enemies." Wait for the laugh & take the prop off.

Jason Faria · 3 years ago

I just want to reiterate that this is a comedy show and you shouldn't over-think this appearance.

The people who come out looking great on his show are the people that have a sense of humor about it and can laugh at what he does. It shows that you're human and people will want to learn more about you because you 'get it.'

You're not just some freak who takes himself too seriously, so don't act like that. Those people always look like idiots on that show.

Carol York · 3 years ago

Dear Robert;
It doesn't matter what you say, he is going to turn it around anyway, just be honest and try to keep your sense of humor, if you can remember that he is just trying to be funny and you can laugh at yourself, then you won't beable to take anything personally and you won't feel like he is attacking you.

Being abel to laugh at yourself is very hard but you would be surprised how it can strengthen you against shame and hurt from someone else's words.
"

Sincerely,
Carol York

geoff · 3 years ago

"I love the pres. He's just like me... his bones will pass from this earth.
but I WORSHIP THE CORPORATIONS
coz they will give us what we want!"

"What do we want?"
"More pollution!!!!"
"When do we want it?"
"NOW!!!"
Pave over everything.
who needs trees and animals?
we have the discovery channel.
"Air pollution"...."NOW!!!"
"Water pollution" "NOW!!"
"Food Pollution" "NOW!!!"
Give us ADHD;
Give us depression
Give us anxiety
give us obesity
give us the pills to make us well.
Thank you for giving me the chance to say what every decent american is thinking.

Barbara Mason · 3 years ago

Just remember that anyone who even flunked Islam 101 knows that Osama and Sadam were not friends. Osama rather hated him. & We just created a country governed by sharia out of a country governed by non-religious doctrine... all because of our thirst for oil. Ride a bike!

John Monguillot · 3 years ago

Robert,
First, consider a bear mask - just put it on the desk and make no reference or contact. If he asks, say "Olbermann" in grave terms. Otherwise, if he asks a question you don't like, answer one you do like. What do you hate about the world's biggest corporation? "My work focuses on the inside workings of Comedy Central - why do you ask?" or "President Eisenhower warned us about the military industrial complex fifty years ago" Have fun!

Denverian · 3 years ago

Sorry buddy, but you're pretty much screwed:)
If he can't get you during the interview he'll get you in the editing. Try to keep that in mind when you react to his jokes. He likes surprised looks and silent stares from his interviewees, so cut down on those if you can.

Have fun and good luck.

Mud · 3 years ago

Hi! This will really be fun, I am so happy you are out there representing us. Stephen's show is a natural to follow Jon's. I watch them both faithfully and am a 55 year old wasp. Go figure. My words of encouragement....... #1. You do not have much time, and what there is will fly by. #2. He is very smooth and always brings back the interview to his script. I have seen a few guests take back the interview by acting "tongue in cheek" smug. #3. Don't let it end without getting in some keywords of what you are all about! Take advantage of that face time. Got to sell more movies.

JJ Starbrite · 3 years ago

If you need to throw off his rhythm, or need to change the subject, look him straight in the eye and ask him:

"Is that a bald eagle in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

sf · 3 years ago

Relax; you’re a guest on the show because they already like you.


Don’t try to do anything you’re not comfortable with, or can’t do naturally, like tell jokes.


If you ask if he’s seen your films: Colbert has to say NO in order to stay in his Faux Fox News Persona.


That gives you the opportunity to start every response with, “ Well if you watched _____, then you’d know that ….”


If you want to do more – then I’d suggest a teddy bear with a T-shirt with your URL or next film title.


Good Luck

marifrance · 3 years ago

I don't loke the show AT ALL!
& I'm a big fan of Jon Stewart. I liked Steve Cobert when he did his act on the Daily show, but I can't take 30 min (ot even 5) of his show.
GOOD LUCK!

Chris · 3 years ago

First, I can't believe some of the comments people have posted. A few of these fools actually believe Stephen's character on the show is real and on their side. Now that's scary!

Personally I like the suggestion to tell him that you liked him in "The 40 Year Old Virgin".

Other than that, just do your best to keep up. This guy is quick.

Justin · 3 years ago

I think one of the first suggestions is clearly the best... RobH's "I thought you were great in 40 Year Old Virgin"

Gene · 3 years ago

Act as over the top as Stephen Colbert, and don't take any comments seriously.

Good Luck!

Viki · 3 years ago

I think you'll drive yourself crazy trying to anticipate what Steve will ask. It appears that silence is best from a guest if he/she lacks a quick and snappy response. Why not have some fun with it? Just Smoke a big doobie and wing it. That is my official advice. You'll be great and funny too!
Viki

TVD · 3 years ago

Great News! When Colbert asks about Walmart and what do you have against them? You should respond by turning his political philosphies against him as follows

"Stephen you are for free markets right? And you are against government subsidies and large entitlement programs right?
Well Walmart transfers their health care costs off of their balance sheets and on to YOU and I the US Taxpayer while their Executives and Shareholders make a boat load of money. This is not a free market but a subsidize market and I am for free markets. where the cost of doing business is borne by the price of the product not externalized off their balance sheets on to US the taxpayer This is Cost Price Intergration and the wave of the future. Why should we subsidize the largest corportation in the world and have bigger government programs because of them. Free Markets and smaller goverment not subsidized markets and big government!

YOu could also add that the US Taxpayer has enough to bare by subisidizing the War on IRAQ for the entire world! Bush was an awful salesman for this war and couldn't raise the money necessary to do the task. Why should we bail out the World????

Good luck!! Turn the Tables on them
State rights is another great place to do that ... YOU are like Regan in favor of letting states rights grow and have them determine CLEAN AIR like in California. States should have more power!!!!!

Amy · 3 years ago

I just wanted to wish you luck. I'm sure you'll do great! Try not to be too nervous; remember, this is Comedy Central we're talking about here. It's all tongue in cheek! So, break a leg!!

Willow · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,
I went on the my netscape page after seeing your email today and they had this advice, I think it applies. " Ever watch a cat play with a catnip mouse? You know (and they most certainly know) that it's not a real mouse, but that doesn't mean the game is any less fun, or that they throw themselves into it with any less enthusiasm. The game is the point -- not the toy. Think of the game you're playing now with a certain someone in the same way, but be more humane. Convey the message to your 'toy' that it really is only a game -- if for no other reason than to assuage your conscience when it ends."
Obviously, you have a lot of good things to say. Be clear about what message you'd like to deliver amongst his banter and stay focused on conveying what you want people to know about you and the wonderful work you are doing.
Use the artist/director aspect and be creative in how you can say things even if he is talking. Tshirts, Gifts with a message are a good idea. Complimenting him may take the focus off you and turn it back on him.
I'm sure you've seen people getting up from a fight and commenting on the verbal messages that they were able to get in if if they get punched out. Have fun! Your work is so important and you have alot of support.
You'll do great!
Willow

Carmen Mel&#233;ndez · 3 years ago

Hi--I'm not a big expert on the Colbert show (It's past most teachers' bedtime), but he likes to act like he wraps himself with the flag and with "morals" like the hypocrites you feature so often in your films (and to a funny effect!). You are so experienced at seeing that, I don't think you should have any problem.
C

Tommaso Boggia · 3 years ago

You already have so many great suggestions here, but if you feel for one more to sweep them all away, here it is:

Confess your conversion after watching his show. Colbert's show is trying to expose the liberal bias and irrationality, go tell him that you are enlightened now. YOu burned all your old DVD's and are starting one on Al Franken's lies (he had al Franken on his show a week ago and it was great).

Anyway it goes, it will be a great show, I'm looking forward to it.

chris · 3 years ago

good luck on thursday, i am a regular viewer of the show and a strong supporter of your movies. Colbert is a hard one to crack it seems that after editing theres not much that you can do to look good. i am with everybody else laugh in moderation and compliment's at any chance. It never hurts to give a gift.

Craig · 3 years ago

Robert, I think you should do your message as a sort of Bobby Kennedy speech. Go big (as Arianna would say). Base it all on your real feeling s about Wal-Mart, the war, the movement, etc., but end up by putting it in the biggest terms you can.

Maybe even use a Kennedy accent. He would normally pretend to be unimpressed with your progressive views, but in this case he'll be taken aback by the dramatic sweep.

Best of luck!

jonathan · 3 years ago

I'm a comedy writer living in Los Angeles with minimal comedy knowlage at best.

I'd say If you want to just get by, sit back and let him take over. Give him a jab or two. Call him on his pomp. He likes that.

If you want to never be forgotten, emulate him. Be an egosentric frawd right back at him. When he introduces you stand up and wave to the crowd. Blow kisses. Wring your hands together in victory. Make 'him' sit down first. Be the alpha male.

What makes his show funny are those glimpses into his true frawdness. If you could out frawd him while preaching your gospel at the same time you'd go down in history. Even if you completely failed, you'd be office water cooler chit chat the next day by hundreds of thousands from 15 years old to 75.

Anyway...

Sam · 3 years ago

You should create your own "Threat-down" That segment of the show may be the best, and if you work with the show's producers, perhaps you can create a list of five threats to certain enterprises you've featured in your movies. For example, one threat could be unions, and you the apocalypse, and you could show the bunker with the heliport the Walton family built. That could get a lot of laughs.

Bill · 3 years ago

Read all of Molly Ivin's references to Delay. Ought to be some great ideas there!

spirit729 · 3 years ago

THE WHOLE COLBERT PARODY PREMISE (he's on our side) doesn't ring true enough for me. You Mr. Greenwald are special and need to let Colbert fluff his own ego. Flip answers "more to the right than he is" will only end up as "actual quotes" pulled into neocon blogs for ill-ends. He should have stayed as a contributor on The Daily Show, his career would end up being longer. But, I'm not a fan of his program, so what do I know....then again, just how foolhardy can you afford to be with so much reputation at stake.

gary · 3 years ago

Tell him you're trying really hard not to fart.

And that when you were little you nose grew
when you told a lie.

Now that you're a groan-up, you noticed that
one of your ears rotates when you tell a lie...

:)

jwo · 3 years ago

Robert,

I am a HUGE fan of Stephen Colbert and regularly watch his show. The guests who come off the best are those who understand that what he is doing is satire, and just go along for the ride. Stay relaxed, enjoy yourself, and genuinely have a good time! It is not a time to be overly earnest! Stephen will give you an opportunity to make your points, don't worry. And I disagree with the statements that he has an enormous ego.....That is part of the satire! Seriously, relax and go have a good time. Your son will also enjoy seeing you able to "go with the flow." We will be rooting for you. Only true fools look like fools on "The Colbert Report!"

juliesinclair · 3 years ago

Whatever you do, don't pull a Beshloss! (i.e. don't come with "material" and planned jokes).


Be natural. Be sincere, a foil, and let HIM make it funny

Just remember: Everyone in America WILL be watching--and we will all admire you for having the courage to go on TCR at all!

Dave Dougherty · 3 years ago

I guess if there's any advice I can convey is, just be charming, but speak volumes of truth. Things could get edgy, but just stick to your principals & you should come out okay. I remember Noam Chomsky was invited to debate with some Dutch conservative some years ago. Chomsky remained as always, cool, calm & collected, while the conservative was foaming at the mouth about all kinds of the usual conservative rhetoric. Long story short, the Dutch conservative folded & Chomsky won the debate....no big surprise for Chomsky. He never even had to raise his voice to make his point (unlike the Dutch conservative)

Christal Boutte · 3 years ago

SC:
Why do you want poor people to be deprived of the one place where they can afford to shop?

RG:...

Marlene Aderman · 3 years ago

Stephen has the "delightful" habit of stating an absolute absurdity and then claim that the guest has agreed that he possesses that characteristic. I would advise you say, "No Stephen, that's not what I said. That's not what I meant." It probably won't do much good, but at least you'll have made a brave effort.

Marlene Aderman · 3 years ago

Stephen has the "delightful" habit of stating an absolute absurdity and then claim that the guest has agreed that he possesses that characteristic. I would advise you say, "No Stephen, that's not what I said. That's not what I meant." It probably won't do much good, but at least you'll have made a brave effort.

UnDeadGoat · 3 years ago

Mention bears. Compare him to a bear. Bring up other running gags on the show.

Watch the interviews posted on the website (both celebrity and Better Know A District) to see what the good ones do and what the bad ones do.

Paul · 3 years ago

George W Bush. Great President, or the greatest President?

Answer

The greatest [pause] failure this country has ever seen.

birdlady · 3 years ago

Dear Robert,

I've watched the Colbert report. I'd come armed with wit, humor, and sarcasm if I were you. I think lots of the interviews are taken out of context, for humor of course, and edited intensely. Plus, I think he may even redo/edit the interview in a studio with a blue screen to make it look like he's interviewing you, in order to get away with his humorous side gags, words under his breath, etc.

Best of luck!

Birdlady

Noah Levin · 3 years ago

What a lot of guests forget on the Colbert Report is that the show is a comedy show. It is satire. He will take radically right wing views only to mock the O'Reilly types. THe best preparation is to have joke retorts to his joke questions. If you can get Stephen to laugh, you can make a point about Republican corruption. Be ready for questions like, "George W. Bush, great president or the greatest president?". Remember, his studio audience and audience at home is educated and liberal. They want to cheer you on.

Chpdookie · 3 years ago

You could always listen to Colbert being interviewed by Terri Gross on NPR's Fresh Air - he kind of drops the act and talks about his content and style...

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?st...

mike francese · 3 years ago

hey steve didn't you write and star in that very liberal show on comedy central called "strangers with candy" or was i just on some bad acid trip!!

dave · 3 years ago

Don't listen to these fools telling you to go in with jokes. It'll just embarrass both of you if you try that on his show, even if it would have been a funny joke otherwise. Just act like you would if you were patiently explaining your positions to a misguided friend who watches too much Bill O'Reilly and has a short attention span.

Be succinct: it helps to have a few NON-JOKE one-liners that communicate, so that even a Bill O'Reilly fan could understand, why Walmart is bad for America, or why Bill O'Reilly is bad for news. Stephen Colbert already knows your positions on things, and he intends to make your opponents look like asses by caricaturing them, so just tell him the truth the way you would anyone else, and he'll do the rest.

One thing: if he attacks you personally ("Explain how you don't hate the troops.", etc.), i.e., stuff you wouldn't normally deign to give a response, you might have a few responses ready that attack Bill O'Reilly or the Walton family in response, e.g., "I don't run child labor camps to stock my warehouses."

Shelton Lankford · 3 years ago

Imagine the dumbest, most obtuse question that Bill O'Reilly would ask, and square it - Stephen will ask that one.

Have a couple of one-liners about Walmart's profits last year, the deficit, trade imbalance ready. Then have fun with it.

Good luck, I will be watching.

Martha E. Ture · 3 years ago

Tune your mind to two premises:
1. If you agree to be the entree at a roast, you can't complain when it gets hot.
2. You have your skills, he has his. This is an aikido exercise - can your skills dance with his?

It'll be fun. Relax and dig it.

Todd Johnson · 3 years ago

The one thing to remember is that Stephen Colbert is a humorist, not an actual Republican. If you can keep a sense of humour about the whole thing, you will do fine.
Al Franken is one person who managed to come across great on "The Colbert Report", because he, too, is a comedian.
So have a good time and be able to laugh at yourself. You will do fine.

E.J. · 3 years ago

After making a strong point concerning the dangers of the WTO and globalization through such corporate "evil doers" as Walmart, say, "but Stephen, why do we continue to discuss such minor issues when we both know that the real menace to our future are bears. When will people wake up to this problem?" You could add something about the crucial job that Stephen has done to bring this menace to light for the people of the world, but it doesn't seem to have been enough. So, you will set your documentarian sites on bears in your next film. Then, (time permitting) if you could make a film showing bears rolling around playing, maybe small cubs, maybe with people, that would be great. Intoduce it as a work in progress, and play it on a mini-dvd player so that he won't know ahead of time, that will really throw him off for a moment. If the brief piece of video had an even more brief intro in the style of your films that would make it perfect. These are obviously the ramblings of a crazy person, so disregard them if you like, but this would truly work, and would make people remember you and hopefully spike their interest enough to go out and find your extremely important films. I hope you will consider this idea, and keep up the amazing work.

nada · 3 years ago

all you gotta do is sit back, relax, and consider yourself one of the luckiest people in the world. you're gonna be on the Colbert Report!!!

oh, and you might wanna mention how much you hate bears.

nathan · 3 years ago

bringing the troops home and replace them with the congress and the senate members as thay are the ones who signed for the war also the pres.and vice pres. im quite sure if thay had to go in the first place there would be no mess as we see today

Andrea Stander · 3 years ago

Whatever happens, whatever he says (or you say) don't lose your sense of humor and don't be shy about looking straight into the camer and smiling when you want to make a point. Good luck!

lisa · 3 years ago

those who know u and your work, know where u stand politically, chances are stephen knows also, which is why he asked you to be his quest. he will most likely satirically ask u questions that will allow for your work to be dicussed. his faux right-winged questions can/will serve as a way for you to get your message across, and aslo a few plungs...everyone shold know about brave new films, also don't forget your target audience...make him and us laugh!
best of luck, i hardly ever miss colbert and i definetly won't this thursday!
peace now!
lisa

barry · 3 years ago

When Stephen asks, "Why do you hate the President?", you should say, "Stephen, I don't him personally...I hate his policies." When he says, "Why do you hate America?," reply: "I only hate what it's become these past 5 years"...and so on.

And, since he loves to hear his words parotted back to him, say: " I only want to give the public the REAL great big nightcrawler of TRUTH, so open up Poppa Bird, here it comes!!"

Remember, he's actually on your side.

I'll be watching...

barry · 3 years ago

When Stephen asks, "Why do you hate the President?", you should say, "Stephen, I don't him personally...I hate his policies." When he says, "Why do you hate America?," reply: "I only hate what it's become these past 5 years"...and so on.

And, since he loves to hear his words parotted back to him, say: " I only want to give the public the REAL great big nightcrawler of TRUTH, so open up Poppa Bird, here it comes!!"

Remember, he's actually on your side.

I'll be watching...

John Psutka · 3 years ago

Hi Robert.
I watch John Stewart followed by Stephen Colbert every night and it is must watch TV. He is an excellent faux conservative TV personality. You'll have alot of fun.
Because of your documentary on Wallmart, he'ii ask you why you hate America so much? And on your Fox documentary, he ask why you don't like Papa Bear O' Reilly?
Remember it is only fun and comedy and be as facetious as you can!
Have a great time!
John Psutka

Sam · 3 years ago

You know that Stephen is going to ask you why you hate American business? Response should be, why do you hate the American worker? Remember Stephen gets his tube socks at Wal-Mart.

John Psutka · 3 years ago

Hi Robert.
I watch John Stewart followed by Stephen Colbert every night and it is must watch TV. He is an excellent faux conservative TV personality. You'll have alot of fun.
Because of your documentary on Wallmart, he'ii ask you why you hate America so much? And on your Fox documentary, he ask why you don't like Papa Bear O' Reilly?
Remember it is only fun and comedy and be as facetious as you can!
Have a great time!
John Psutka

madeline · 3 years ago

robert, from reading the other posts it sounds as if some people don't realize that stephen is PLAYING A CHARACTER. the whole show is a send-up, a spoof of right-wing values and talk-show hosts. he is ACTING, totally tongue-in-cheek and the real stephen probably loves you as much as we do!

he's a comic and he's over the top because he's going for laughs. he'll sound serious because that's his character and he'll "attack" you so you can articulate your position more clearly. (unlike o'reilly types who DO want to annihilate their guests.)

i suggest you take the opportunity to be yourself and be serious about your world-view. TELL IT like you tell it in your films.

you get to be the straight man and he'll do the humor. he wants to give you the air-time, he wants you to pull no punches and make your point; i feel sure of it. have fun! we'll be recording it and rolling on the floor!

John Psutka · 3 years ago

Hi Robert.
I watch John Stewart followed by Stephen Colbert every night and it is must watch TV. He is an excellent faux conservative TV personality. You'll have alot of fun.
Because of your documentary on Wallmart, he'ii ask you why you hate America so much? And on your Fox documentary, he ask why you don't like Papa Bear O' Reilly?
Remember it is only fun and comedy and be as facetious as you can!
Have a great time!
John Psutka

Dave · 3 years ago

Katrina vanden Heuvel and Richard Clark are the only ones I have seen come out unscathed. Both took the same approach. They did not allow Colbert to bully them. Be ready for the O'Reilly-type accusations and be prepared to strike back. Ask him why he hates American workers, for example, or whether he "believes" outsourcing is good for America.

Brad Simpson · 3 years ago

I think the Colbert Report is brilliant jujitsu satire. He is likely to ask why you hate Wal-Mart, which is as American as apple pie.

Don't disagree - say "Wal-Mart IS as American as apple pie. What could be more American than a huge corporation exploiting Chinese workers, crushing the little guy and stiffing it to workers?" "We just want Wal Mart to be better Americans. We want the people who work and shop at Wal Mart to have health care and decent wages so they can buy the cheap crap they sell there. "

William · 3 years ago

Rob,
Just be yourself and don't take yourself too seriously. Agree with anything he says, which should give you the time to formulate a retort as an aside to your agreement. ("Yes, there is no Iraqi insurgency, too bad thousands of US soldiers are being killed while vacationing in Baghdad.") Do what he does; make your point by satirically making the opposite point ("Why yes, the sky IS pink with those subtle undertones of Baby Blue.")
You'll do fine; we'll be watching and rooting for you. The simple fact you've been invited on the show is testament to the validity of your messages.
Much of the advice that fellow bloggers have given you is sterling.
Why not appear in your underwear and say your WalMart clothing was ripped off your body by angry union workers who are manning the equipment in HIS TV studio! Just make sure your underwear was authentically "made in the USA."

KenB · 3 years ago

I wonder who's writing his cheques, Robert.
How can he live with himself knowing you're right?
He'll go for the throat, and come up with his.
I'm not really familiar with Americam business practises, but what constitiutes a monopoly?
I'm sure Mr Colbert will be able to answer that.

Good luck..... I hope I can catch it up here.

William · 3 years ago

Rob,
Just be yourself and don't take yourself too seriously. Agree with anything he says, which should give you the time to formulate a retort as an aside to your agreement. ("Yes, there is no Iraqi insurgency, too bad thousands of US soldiers are being killed while vacationing in Baghdad.") Do what he does; make your point by satirically making the opposite point ("Why yes, the sky IS pink with those subtle undertones of Baby Blue.")
You'll do fine; we'll be watching and rooting for you. The simple fact you've been invited on the show is testament to the validity of your messages.
Much of the advice that fellow bloggers have given you is sterling.
Why not appear in your underwear and say your WalMart clothing was ripped off your body by angry union workers who are manning the equipment in HIS TV studio! Just make sure your underwear was authentically "made in the USA."

Kathy · 3 years ago

My advice to you is wear a T Shirt with a bear on it. Or wear a bear of some sort, This will scare him (we all know he is terrified of bears) and throw him off his game! Good Luck!

Jim · 3 years ago

I've been watching the show and I think you have to have a sense of humour and go with the character he's playing. The whole act is tongue and cheek, so maybe it would be cool, if you can do it , to go right along with him, proposing the same kind of tongue and cheek answers. When an opportunity presents itself make a point. He lampoons O'Riely every night!

Jeremy Lyon · 3 years ago

Say, "Steven, you don't have to pretend to believe George W. Bush's lies to be a true patriot. Really, Steven, stop trying so hard not to be John Stewart. Everyone understands you two run two different shows. Hop on the bandwagon of Bush hating reality with the rest of the intelligent American population."

Dr. Tim · 3 years ago

No one has done better at beating Stephen Colbert (who I love!) at his own game than Arianna Huffington.
Do what you must to get a copy of that program.
You MUST recognize that while he asks you questions from a right wing perspective, he is very left. you MUST call him on his leftist leaning---while embracing it.
He's very difficult, and very fast. He WANTS you to answer from the left, but then to stay true to his role, will blast you for it. Do not be dissuaded. Stay left, and when he challenges you, you challenge him back. He's the liberal in the room. Do NOT try to attack his right wing pretend profile. He will defend it---and VERY successfully. attack him for the liberal he is. and assert your own liberal stance. But please---watch the interview with Arianna Huffington. She totally disarmed him. OK, she's a gorgeous woman and you aren't. but work it!!!!!!
Dr. Tim

Elaine Kittredge · 3 years ago

Don't take yourself too seriously. Mark Crispin Miller did and he looked like a pompous ass even though he is a great addition to everything Colbert REALLY believes. Colbert is a spoof of himself, that's what he means to be. I disagree with the blogger who said he hates to hear Bush criticized. He is pimping Bush by acting like he supports the "right wing nuts". Be ironic. That's what HE is doing. And for goddess sake, don't think you're there to give your message. And don't try to outdo him, just play it by ear and have fun!

Leon · 3 years ago

I liked Cobert before he got his show.
His apparently progressive stance does not play well with me. His stupidity is pittyful.
If I were you, I would leave him jump around waving his hands and drown in his own idiotic selfishness.
On the other hand, Jon Stewart's show is the place to be, not in that stupid clown's show.
Good luck if you dare, he will make you look like an idiot which I don't think you are and will step on you to the audience delight.

Ben Kashdan · 3 years ago

Hey,
Listen, the Colbert Report is a good show but if you really want to get the message out there, go for the Daily Show. It is a better show and I garuntee you won't get insulted. Good Luck,
Ben

jeff · 3 years ago

Don dark glasses, bring your seeing eye bear (Malomar), feign deafness as well, and you'll fare just fine: a deaf, blind filmmaker with a dead stuffed seeing eye bear on wheels...

Steve · 3 years ago

The best way to "beat" a great satirical comic is to laugh with him. Enjoy it. Would you try to defend against Michael Jordan or enjoy the show? Which I guess is a bad analogy, because what you're doing isn't competition.

Doug Jester · 3 years ago

He's on our side. When he asks, why do you hate uncle Tom so much, why don't you reply that you don't hate uncle Tom, he's one of the reasons children might have to study american history & civics again. Because of him ( gerrymandering Texas districts) W. has had a rubberstamp in congress, passing some of the worst legislation in US history, not to mention being complicet in the largest deficit, an illegal war, & one of the most inept administrations ever.

Rob Kellman · 3 years ago

The most important thing to remember is to take NOTHING (mostly yourself) seriously. Be ready to laugh at yourself. Don't try to defend yourself. Have one or 2 nuggets for each film that you can say in about 5 seconds or so (remember the guy on O'Rielly in you flick. If you try logic you'll look like a dope. See if you can get a tape of Al Franken's stint on the show. He was perfect. Most of all, relax. He'll make a fool of you. If you look like you're hating it, you'll lost. If you look like it's the goof that it is, you'll come out looking cool.

Tracy Hall · 3 years ago

Sorry but I have never watched the show so could you tell me what station it is on.?I can't evern find the show in the TV Guide.

Tracy Hall

Debbi · 3 years ago

Rob:

First and formost . . . BELIEVE in yourself and the cause!!!!!

A little humor goes a LONG way!! Try to picture him naked! That's what I was told when I had to meet the Governor of WA for a meeting about poverty!!

Best of luck to you and I'll be there with you, cheering you on from WA!!!!

Deb

David · 3 years ago

Stephen often uses whatever 'line' the Fox pundits are spewing. He presents spin to the guest as though it were fact (and as though he swallowed it himself; which is one of the things you need to understand).

For my money, the best 'defense' is to listen carefully and respond thoughtfully. Stephen shines best when bouncing off a reasonable, thoughtful, well-spoken liberal -- just look at where his character got its start.

He gives the stupid lines, like O'Reilly, but -- as someone mentioned above -- without the infuriating attitude and close-mindedness. (He'll let you blow 'his side' away if you've got the presence of mind. Not that he'll admit it; but you're both playing to a very liberal audience.)

Charlie · 3 years ago

I have been on radio interviews several times and hosted a fill in on several ocassions. The only thing you have to do is speak from your heart. Say whatever occurs to you trusting that your experience and knowledge will guide you. Hold nothing back. Trust yourself.

Joe · 3 years ago

The only thing that you have to know about The Colbert Report is to not take yourself too seriously. Laugh at Stephen's jokes b/c they're funny and when you play along the audience will definately get behind you. Just have fun and the rest will definately fall into place. Additionally, most of his biggest fans are going to agree with what you're saying...and so will Stephen.

Saydy · 3 years ago

Mention his website, and that you make a habit of checking it daily! Stroke his ego, and you will pass. Be slightly agressive, so that he knows you are serious in what you believe. Be prepared for outragious questions. Do not sugar coat anything, but let him know that you're kid is his fan. Maybe wear a flag.

katherine randolph · 3 years ago

Great! Have a fabulous time. He is a lover. Flatter him and watch the light in his eyes. Remember that all of us are standing behind you, supporting you.

Ann Stewart · 3 years ago

I don't understand why you're nervous. If you didn't know it before (and if you didn't know it, that scares me), Stephen is on our side. Whatever you do, his goal is to make Bill O'Reilly & FOX "news" look bad.

Don't get defensive. Some of the people above had good advice about turning things back onto Stephen if he appears to be cornering you -- this is exactly what he wants. Catch him out. Put him at a loss for words. But do it with camaraderie and good humor. The purpose of his having you on his show is to advertise your work.

Here's something to think about: Fox owns FX, the network that allows people to say "shit". Family values? Without accusing Fox, you could comment on how glad you are that they're the only network that has the guts to portray people as they actually are, goddammit (which Stephen will bleep out). You could also commend Fox for bringing us "Black. White." (for reals), "30 Days" (for reals), "Nip/Tuck" (which has had one of the most gratutiously violent series of episodes (the face slasher) ever, along with Our Heroes praciticing everything that can be thought of that's the oppostie of Fox's "family values"), and Fox for "House", where a seriously antisocial guy is the hero; for "Bones", where a humorless dork genius woman is the hero and the bumbling cop loses to her almost every time; 'Mad TV" -- who knows what that's about, but it's not family values; "Stacked" -- I haven't watched this but Pamela Anderson falling out of her top isn't what Fox means (at least I don't think it's what they mean) by "family values". Good luck. You won't need it.

Da Vinci · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald,
After watching and re-watching several of your films, I know that you and Stephen Colbert share the same political DNA.

You've already done your Oppo Research in your work on O'Lielly O'Reilly, whose evil aura Colbert enters every night.

Thus:
1. Think parallel universe. Spin normal logic and conversational flow 180 degrees to "right-wing-nuttia" ... and then form your answer.

2. Colbert WILL ask you why you are so mean to that nice man, Bill O'Lielly. Advance your world view -- which we smart people all know is the reality-based view -- by being an O'Reilly sycophant. You are paying homage to a "great" American mind and a "highly principled" personality.

Ohhh ... and do pantomimed, finger air quotes with your praise of O'Leilly. Stephen and Al Franken got into the "finger thing" -- both face jabbing and air quotes -- to dissect and spit out O'Reilly one night. He loves the air quotes thingey.

3. And you asked for good previous interviews? Colbert's interview with Al Franken (within the past 10 days) would be worth your while.

Franken's America-Hating Liberal Crede is carved in marble as the guy who wrote "Rush Limbaugh Is a Big, Fat Idiot" and the unrepentant liberal who humiliated O'Reilly at the American Bookseller's convention by featuring an UNRETOUCHED photo of O'Lielly's red, scabies-laden face on Franken's mock-up cover of "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them."

Sooo, when Franken was under Colbert Attack (Why are you hiding your Senate run in Minnesota? Why do hate our troops?), Al knew enuf to not punch back or contest the jabs. He twisted them back onto the Evil Ones ... i.e., Franken has entertained troops in the middle east many times so he knows it's unfair to expect draft-dodgers like Bill O'Reilly to do the same. Afterall, O'Reilly has no talent. (tah-dum)

4. Be prepared for a Bear Alert. Bears and bear attacks are Stephen's fave all-purpose scapegoat for every major ill. Call Stephen's bluff by outdoing him on trash-talking bears ... like how we ARE gaining on those polar bastages by melting all the ice floes with global warming. Drowned polar bears are becoming commonplace in the Arctic the past 5 years. Stephen has never been out-threated on his bear bashing; so you'd be a first.

Good luck.

ellen · 3 years ago

questions will be on the order of:
what's wrong with buying the cheapest goods from countries who abuse their workers?
why do you hate successes like Sam Walton?
what's with picking on the station which is a heartbeat away from our president?
why are you so anti-american?

stand up for a high five as he approaches the table you are sitting at, after he high fives the audience. laugh. speak a little (just a little) french. wear a walmart smile shirt with an international "no" circle/slash through it. give one to Stephen.
strike the balance between irritatingly accurate with your facts, and hilariously funny with your reactions to his questions.

it'll be great publicity!

Tom Stessl · 3 years ago

Just answer in the same spirit as the question is asked.
Bask in the limelight of Big Time basic cable.

Joel Smith · 3 years ago

I can't give you any specific ideas on what he might ask. But just remember this; although Colbert's schtick is to act like a conservative neocon ignoramus, he's actually not. And if you counter his wit with your own that's equally cutting your message will get through. Be sharp. You'll do do fine.

Make us proud. You always do...

Bruce Couch · 3 years ago

If you make every word you say a swear word it will all get beeped no one will know what you've said and you'll come across as a god.

Or you could just tell him you life has been a lie to this point and ask him for his forgiveness.

Don Burnstein · 3 years ago

Look down and shake your head repeatedly then look at him with crocodile tears and Ask "Stephen, Stephen what are we going to do?" He should fall for it and ask "what do you mean".
"I mean, we're going to have to get real jobs when Bush is sent packing back to Crawford, do you know how to do anything but this? I don't know if I can make a regular film. What are you going to do if O'Reilly is selling used cars in Boca Raton Florida to old people who can't drive?"

Joe M. · 3 years ago

Just be cool and slightl;y funny with him. Be ready for witty comebacks. Your msg is preaching to the chor. Don't make any overly strong left wing outbursts :)

Bill Bertschy · 3 years ago

Tell him your next "secret project" is an expose on the notoriously corrupt and co-opted media network codenamed "comedy central". Then keep asking him, "Is this on the record?"

Arthur Strauss · 3 years ago

Just answer every question with "Really - does Jon actually read all those books?"

Sharon · 3 years ago

Please, please, please ...do not say "UM" between every thought like our Secretary of State does! Our local radio stations have contests to "count the 'ums' and the one who guesses the right number wins a prize.

And, always remember, "a lot" is a piece of land, never (ever!) to be used as a substitute for several or many!

As they say in the theatre, "Break a Leg"!

Sharon
Fairfax, VA

Saif Al-Alawi · 3 years ago

Corporations are putting business interests first in the world and the enviornment in dead last. Global Warming is real except those in the U.S. so lets continue to make this a reality to American. Persistence and Dedication and you can single handidly lift the world.

Mich&#232;le · 3 years ago

Hi,

I live in France and have never heard of Stephen Colbert but that doesn't matter; you're relating to another human being and however intelligent he may be, he is no different from you or me.

If you know WHO you are and WHAT you believe in then no one can rock you from that boat. You can be pleasant, amused yet unshakeable. Your answers will always come from the same "place". If the cause is YOUR cause then what is there to fear? And don't ever worry about letting US down! Be faithful to YOURSELF!

If you do feel yourself getting pulled away remember to feel yourself sitting in your chair with your feet planted firmly on the floor. No great men were simply intellect.

Wish I could watch you but I'll be one of the many thinking about you. That's already incredible support.

Russell · 3 years ago

Hello there,

In response to your e-mailed plea to my inbox, I have some general advice that will work in any similar situation:

1.) Remember that it is their show, not yours. Do NOT try to steer the show where you want it to go. His producers have already written the dialog around what they expect you to say. If you make them deviate from the plan, he will have to improvise. You can see where that would be a bad thing, right?

2.) The "sit on your jacket" guy was absolutely right. Do this, or don't wear a jacket. You will look like a dork if you do not follow this advice... trust me.

3.) Be conscious of your posture. If you sit absolutely upright and out of contact with the back of the seat, looking like you you want to run out of there at the slightest barb, he will not be able to resist badgering you.

4.) This is a comedy. In comedy there are two parts: the "funny" man and the "straight" man. He is the funny man. You are the straight man. Let him be funny... do NOT try to out-funny him. It is his job to be funny, and he will resent you trying to out-source his job.

5.) Much like fighting with an opponent you are not sure you can "beat," you should roll with the punches... if he happens to leave himself wide open, take the shot, but be ready for the likely fact that he left his guard down to set you up for the upper-cut.

6.) Be ready for a question or two about the incredibly bad choice of name on the production materials: "The Disinformation Company Ltd."

There are people who will never take you seriously, and cannot be enticed to watch the walmart movie because of that error.

If he fails to bring that up, count your blessings that he obviously didn't take a close look at the DVD case.

7.) Be prepared for the hate questions. If he says why do you hate the Chinese, tell him the truth: "I don't hate them, why do you?" When he pauses for half a second follow up with: "I think they should be paid enough to live on, and you obviously disagree. I am not for working people until they starve to death, you are."

(That may turn things ugly, but you will know by the time this come up, if you want to let it all hang out or not.)

8.) Picture yourself imitating O'Reily... what would you do to pander to a liberal audience? Would you make yourself out to be a completely unreasonable ass? Sure you would! Would you badger you "victims?" Shure you would! That is all he would be doing.

9.) Don't take it personally... BE NICE. It is obviously his intention to play an asshole... so if you try to retaliate, that will make you a second rate asshole. Better to be the underdog.

If you do land a really good blow, you will lose the audience as they rally around their wounded hero. You don't want to be there. That is the worst thing you can do in front of an audience you hope will actually learn something from your appearance before them.

10.) Remember always: He has you for 30 minutes. You can handle most anything for 30 minutes. If he gets too far out of line, you know... you DO make films about people.

If you read these and you have been going "Hey that is good advice!" Remember that these are not specific to this show... they work anywhere.

Russell...

P.S. For what it is worth, we operate the largest free advice site on the internet... You e-mailed the right folks. If you like, I will post your question on our site where 30,000 people may see it.

P.P.S. Unless your suit cost more than my house, sit on your jacket. Practice doing this before you go, or you will look like a man trying to secure a mini-skirt. Be advised. ;-)

kevin · 3 years ago

check out what he did to al franken. he is a satire of bill o. be able to answer the question why do you hate america?

Joey G · 3 years ago

Don't be nervous. The less you say the better. The interview is for Colbert, not you. Watch the show, see how others do it. Best to just keep quiet and laugh at his jokes. It's an enterainment show, not a news show and you'd do best to be as good-natured as he gently makes fun of you. He won't bite and he's certainly no Bill O'Reilly. Keep one succinct message in your head and don't preach, you'll come off just fine. Best subject so far was 60 Minutes Leslie Stahl. See if you can get your hands on a tape of that show. Don't expect to be asked anything serious more than once.

Good luck--and MAZOL TOV--it'll be great exposure for you.

Mark Clemens · 3 years ago

Remember, Colbert is performing an absolutely delicious parody of the absurd, talk-show right. Laughing and enjoying would be my best advice. Have a joke or two of your own to throw at Colbert, or even catch him by surprise. He's at his best when he's ad-libbing.
As you can see, I'm a fan.

msannthropy · 3 years ago

I would suggest a photoshop picture of a bear in a Wal Mart smock or even shopping for bargins. Tell him that Wal Mart is "dead to you"
Steven C is a sling shot, let his humor bolster your point. Everything you dispise about faux news is going to be handed to you like a gift. Your mantra should be something like... "spar with sarcasm"

Mike T. · 3 years ago

It's easy!

Just tell him you have something in common - you love animals (especially eagles), but hate bears!

Louis Maytorena · 3 years ago

Robert,

To confront any adversary is simple.

I run walmartsux.com and have plenty to say about what makes Wal*Mart a terrible place to work,

But...,

the reason their lawyers have not been able to touch me, or reply to anything about my published views is simple....I just report my findings and let the reader decide for themselves.

What is MORE American than "Freedom of Speech" and your right to do so?!

Good Luck.

MCRachel · 3 years ago

I've never seen this show; I don't have a tv! But remember that poor fellow who O'Reilly brutally shredded in OutFoxed? The guy whose dad died in the WTC? Well do it for him. If he can submit himself to O'Reilly to get his message out (and he studied the show in prep as you are now!), you can do this with an interviewer who, according to other posters, secretly agrees with you and is only making a cartoon of himself for satire.

Louis Maytorena · 3 years ago

Robert,

To confront any adversary is simple.

I run walmartsux.com and have plenty to say about what makes Wal*Mart a terrible place to work,

But...,

the reason their lawyers have not been able to touch me, or reply to anything about my published views is simple....I just report my findings and let the reader decide for themselves.

What is MORE American than "Freedom of Speech" and your right to do so?!

Good Luck.

Jasper · 3 years ago

Mention Building Seven of the WTC on 911.
There is momentum building, be a part of it.
CNN has had Alex Jones on recently.
Build on the momentum! Make History!
If he calls you a "conspiracy theorist" that is his job in the role of "Bill Oh-Lie-ly"
As soon as he says, "Conspiracy Theorist"
IMMEDIATELY interrupt him and say,
"Coincidence Theorist! Coincidence Theorist! Coincidence Theorist!" Three times in rapid succession. If he says Conspiracy Theorist" again, IMMEDIATELY iterrupt him again and say, "Coincidence Theorist! Coincidence Theorist! Coincidence Theorist!" in rapid fire.
If he says it again, say it again.
Make sure that you say, "Coincidence Theorist!" at least three times for every time he says "conspiracy theorist"
Get into a shouting match if you must.
He will play the role of Bill O'lie-e.
After the show he will thank you for it.
If he asks who is the Conspiracy theorists and who is the coincidence theorist, just say that a coincidence theorist is one who believes that Building Seven fell down out of Solidarity with The North and South towers.

Good Sound Bite and Good Luck.

Liz Gibbings · 3 years ago

o.k. don't get too scared, because from what i've seen, stephen has jon stewart's uncanny ability to smell the fear. what you need to keep thinking while your up there is that he is secretly, deep down, on your side. his show's character is only that. i know this may seem like a no brainer to you --- but i have watched the show since its birth and i really think that some of the guests do not know this. when you begin to feel scared at the thought of the razor sharp wit, the lightning fast comebacks, and the ever ready penis jokes, just remember that deep deep DEEP down he hates bill o reilly as much as you do. even if he does call him "papa bear." so, have a sense of humor, i don't think he ll hit you as hard if he sees that you don't mind too much getting jabbed a little. the first question he'll ask is probably "why do you hate America?" you should come up with a humorous response to this in any case, because i can pretty much garuntee it will come up. after you do that, just remember, Tuesday's guest is going to be Michael Brown. just thank god you're not him.

Louis Maytorena · 3 years ago

Robert,

To confront any adversary is simple.

I run walmartsux.com and have plenty to say about what makes Wal*Mart a terrible place to work,

But...,

the reason their lawyers have not been able to touch me, or reply to anything about my published views is simple....I just report my findings and let the reader decide for themselves.

What is MORE American than "Freedom of Speech" and your right to do so?!

Good Luck.

Lana · 3 years ago

Always remember that Stephen is the comedian and host. Don't make any of your own jokes. I have seen every Daily Show at least once and any guest who is not a professional comedian falls flat when they try to match wits with Jon Stewart. Same goes for Stephen Colbert. You'll be great!! Just relax. And leave the jokes to Stephen.

Marisa · 3 years ago

View the Al Franken bit from second week of March ... Al pretended to take everything as seriously as Stephen Colbert pretends to take everything... he never seemed ruffled, he had fun and he let the audience know he was enjoying the joke.

Matt P. · 3 years ago

Colbert likes to do visual comedy. He loves to be on camera and the center of attention. For him, Politics, just like every thing else, is just merely another sedgeway to comedic patter. Everything and every event is fodder for Comedy. He only does comedy. He talks fast in small sentences. Has very fast quick wit.
You won't get much time to speak. You are just there for hin to have a program. He is the star. Guests usually come on during the last half of the show. He has a BIG ego and loves himself. SMILE and enjoy the program. Don't take it to seriously. He doesn't do insults. He isn't into facts. But, don't shoot yourself in the foot. The program is lightening fast. Use what little time you have to get across the titles of your films and how people can get to view them. If you can, give out a web address. Get some visual props to show. Maybe a book size little poster.
He doesn't like the cast of Friends.
Check his website - www.ColbertNation.com
ComedyCentral website also has some info and bio on him.

Doug Bennett · 3 years ago

Robert -
I agree with the last comment. In fact, it is the same suggestion that I was going to make. Al Franken, came off the best of any of Stepen's guest that I have seen. Relax, laugh your way through and throw in some of the one liners above. Some of the blog contributors could write for Colbert. Good luck, we all love your work. Break a leg!

Mark Hersman · 3 years ago

Don't get mad, and don't crack up laughing. Remember, Colbert is the definition of "tongue in cheek", he talks like a right wing wacko, but he really is on your side. If you can make him laugh, you will through him off of his game and you will "win". Fight deadpan humor with deadpan humor. Ariana Huffington flirted with him, and that threw him off his game, you may not be so lucky.
Try something like the following: RE: the Dubai Ports Deal "I can understand the President's point of view, and we don't want to upset our Arab allies either, we just think that stopping torture and sodomy is probably a better place to start."
Or on Bush's leadership: "Stephen, we all want a strong leader as President. But one prerequisite for leadership is to find followers. We just lost a UN vote on Human Rights 170-4. I mean, Palau and the Marshall Islands are populated with wonderful people, but they don't exactly make the most powerful coalition since NATO."
Best of luck, I'll be watching and rooting for you!

Jay Estrada · 3 years ago

Mr. Greenwald,

awesome! Stephen is so damn funny. what an awesome chance to speak to a huge chunk of America.

Here's a couple of approaches to the interview that might work. Note: These would have to be gone over with Stephen in the green room before the taping.

1. You know the ancient cliche of when speaking to a room of people, imagining them in their underwear? When talking to Stephen on camera, talk to him as if he's really O'reilly and you're in the Fox studio. Sounds dumb at first, but hear me out. Call him Bill in your first answer. You have a few days to jot down the things you'd want to say to Bill, less the fox-specific slams, and there you go decent icebreaker. Bulldoze through whatever he asks you and make it apparent that you have no idea that you're not on "The O'reilly Factor" and that you're convinced you're in fact in the Fox studio. He'll act like he doesn't get it, so say something to the effect of "that's funny, from home you're a lot taller, whiter, and you're Irish, not French" he'll drop some ad-libs. Now, as far as the rest of the interview, knowing Colbert is going to throw you curves, is emulate his schtick. depending on the question, you could play the straight man/funny man act. Again, he's have to be in on it for it to work, but i think it'd be pretty comical and the fallout might actually force O'reilly to finally debate.

Approach 2. Be humble. rightly include yourself in a group of filmmakers that have no choice but to tell the truth and shine the light on corporate corporate military industrial complex. I saw you are referring people to "Enron: The Smartest Guys In The Room". Mention Mark Cuban and George Clooney and bring up changes in American sentiment towards the war, on the economy, Katrina, manufacturing consent, what have you. Whichever direction Stephen takes the interview will end up positive. Make sure to mention Brave New Films at least once. Ask Stephen in the green room to let the post-production guys flash the BraveNew URL.

You could also mention "The Corporation", PBS's Frontline series. I see you with as much credibility and objectivity, without editorial commentary that so often clouds the delivery of new ideas and truths. Either approach should springboard you and truth films.

Today it's The Colbert Report. Tomorrow, Letterman. Make it happen, Robert, and thank you for your labors. We need you.

P.S.
If you have the chance, ask somebody in his staff how I can get a copy of the "eternal life bracelets" interview he did with a chinese businessman on a daily show episode. Oh yeah and do something about Diebold. You are more than welcome to use any of my music for filler or background or whatever audio (URL listed).

Kubo · 3 years ago

You could bring a short film, made just for the show. Colbert's team might want to participate. (An expose´ about Colbert? A montage of Bill O'Reilly's best/worst? An imagined interview between Bill O'Reilly and Colbert, mashed together from actual show footage?)

Two must-watch interviews:
http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_colbert_...

1) Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns. With mini movie!

2) Tim Robbins -- 'hostile', successful, and fun.

Wear something comfortable -- something that YOU feel good in, and flattered by. Something you'd wear to a jazz club or a fancy brunch. Forget the suit or tie. Colbert fidgets in his suit. Robbins upstages him in shaggy hair and basic black.

Congrats on the opportunity. Enjoy the ride!

Chris Jonsson · 3 years ago

Don’t take anything he says seriously, which is reasonable because he is not. He is only playing the role of an arrogant but misinformed conservative, like Peter Sellers playing a serious statesman. Laugh off his insults and act like he’s joking with you. You could even give him some absurd answers and suggestions. The point is Steven Colbert is a comedian looking for laughs. In defense, you can save yourself by giving equally absurd and ridiculous responses in a clever, good natured manner. Don’t get upset or flustered. He is kidding, but willing to sacrifice your dignity for a laugh if you don’t protect it.

Ann Stewart · 3 years ago

If he asks you a tough quesion, like "How come you attack Walmart but not Target?", try this: Begin a vague answer, pause, and change the subject to something he loves (or hates) about himself. Or pretends to (I don't take his ego seriously, it's just one of his acts). For example:

Before you sit down, locate his Peabody award.

SC: So how come you attack Walmart but you don't attack Target or Costco? They're big box stores.

You: Well, when I was a child ... Oh! (lean forward, move your hand toward his face) I love your eyes! (Stand up, lean forward a little more, into his space).

SC: (Backs up) What? My eyes? What about Target?

You: (Pick up his Peabody, hold it next to his face) Look! Your eyes go so well with this beautiful paperweight!

SC: (Still backing up) Hey! that's not a paperweight! That's my Peabody! And I've got two Emmys too, see? Do you have a Peabody, or an Oscar? Huh?

You: I have an Oscar.

SC: You do???

You: (beginning to unzip your pants) Yes, would you like to see it?

Believe me, he'll crack up and the audience won't stop laughing for minutes. Of course, now that his staff has read this blog, they'll be ready for this, but you can think of something else.

Jerry Drucker · 3 years ago

Tell Colbert you've been researching for your next film project, regarding the 'Privitization' of our country. You learned Colbert wants to Privitize "Free Speech, " since you understand he feels free speech should be for profit.

Jerry Drucker
Tarzana, CA

Phil G · 3 years ago

You are carrying us all on your back you know. And we appreciate it!!

Perhaps this will help your predicament:

In thinking about your up coming interview with Steve Colbert, I'm absolutely 100% convinced it has to be a Star Wars theme...I understand as Russell wisely pointed out, it is their show but it's also your interview... whatever he says to you, you must respond with the heart and soul of a Jedi...it's the only way I'm afraid.

And when your spot is over Robert, let Mr. Colbert say the usual thanks for coming, etc. Use your intuition to know when the time is right, and you perceive he's done, it's only going to be a second or two but that will make ALL the difference, pause, and if you need to, put your hand on his forearm, look him in the eye and say right to him "May the force be with you", THEN AND THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT look into the camera (you MUST know which camera is hot) and say with as much passion as you can muster "AND ALSO WITH YOU."

You'll be channelling all the forces of good and putting on notice the forces of evil. Remember the film Network...well, seems to me you are mad as hell and you're not going to take it anymore. Let me know if you need help to rehearse a line reading.

Also:
Recently the New York Theater Workshop pulled the plug on the heartwrenching and tragic true story of courage in the face of evil, "My Name is Rachel Corrie", now in production at the Royal Court Theater in London. The outrage about this "postponement", not only in the New York theater community but around the world, led a group of devoted activists to arrange an evening celebrating her life and work. On March 22, 2006, the night originally scheduled for the opening of the show at NYTW, hundreds of supporters gathered at New York's Riverside Church to hear words of love, protest and outrage. www.rachelswords.com was set up in three days for people around the world to voice their views. In 2003, at the age of 23, Rachel Corrie, a Peace Activist, was crushed to death protecting a Palestinian home in Rafah, by a Catepillar Bulldozer piloted by a Israeli soldier. No charges were ever filed. Please log on to share yours.

God Bless,

Philip

pdf · 3 years ago

If you get in a bind just mention something Anti-Bears, Like Walmart is an avid supporter of Bears where I am not

You'll win him over in no time

Tim Prizer · 3 years ago

Why don't you grow some testicles and just go on the show? Have you lost all personal dignity? Your plea for help is sorry.

Tm

Don-O · 3 years ago

Ain't much to offer after reading just 1% of the 900 plus enteries here. It's a agressively highly satirical smart ass show that demolishes the Bill O'Reilly mystic into a billion little pieces. Just roll with the punches with humor, so don't sweat it. However, if he mentions Xanadu, duck under the table, THAT'S when they get really smart assy.

Good luck,
Don-O

Cass · 3 years ago

Don't say anything bad about Catholics.

Miles · 3 years ago

I agree with other posters: Colbert IS a complete narcissist. His "Report" character is at least.

Fess up! Tell him about your plea for assistance from your blogosphere. By letting him know about your cry for help he may cut you some slack -- or rip you a new one!!

Good luck!

mark edmonds · 3 years ago

Robert,
Never saw Colbert. Don't watch TV. Your fear has been displaced by the need to do the right thing. I honor you for that.

Bill Johnson · 3 years ago

I would ask Colbert this:
Do you think it is ok to continue to support Bush, even in jest, when it is clear to anyone armed with the facts, that the BUsh Chenney team are guilty of violating the constitution and laws of the United States, resulting in the illegal detention, torture and deaths of our fellow human beings?

PRIYA REDDY a.k.a Warcry · 3 years ago

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT OPPORTUNITY TO REACH MILLIONS - & most importantly, REACH THOSE NOT ALREADY in the CHOIR!


1) TIME - You will have very little. REMEMBER what you want to accomplish. What are the MOST IMPORTANT things America needs to consider right now?



2) TALKING POINTS - Stephen will verbally bat you around like a cat does to a mouse. But you understand that the tragedy that is our reality, will require that you NOT GET DISTRACTED. Remember what your MAIN POINTS are. Try to get your TOP 3-5 main points on the table.

(Personally, I think NUCLEAR WAR is going to be an issue. When Israel and Iran start lobbing missiles at each other and the U.S gets involved with its "micro-nukes" stash, life could get much more psychotic than it already is. I happen to be a media reform activist, because without a democratic media in this country Americans will never be informed enough to get involved, let alone change anything. You can reach me at: priya@mediachannel.org)

Back to Stephen. Prepare for labels like "liberal" etc., and the INSULTS WILL COME HARD & FAST. Which brings us to my next point.



3) RE-FRAMING. - Don't make the MISTAKE of actually responding to his name calling. DON'T get sucked into HIS ROUTINE. WHAT IS YOUR ROUTINE Rob? Shrug off the labels with a smile & RE-FRAME whenever possible. i.e - if you are called 'extreme" - re-frame the situtation by reminding Americans of the extreme nature of the war, torture, global warming, etc., and such THREATS to their safety & future.



4) LET COLBERT have fun with you and make fun of you. JUST STICK TO YOUR MAIN POINTS as you won't have much time. MILLIONS NEED TO GET A CLUE about things, and that is what you are there to provide.


5) HAVE FUN! Colbert is good because he acts like a stuffy narcisstic conservative - but its all a big joke. He's actually a fairly incisive critic. He just does it in a disarming, brilliant comedic way. If you laugh, he'll feel better.

I'll be watching for you Rob! (keep up the great work!)

bannis · 3 years ago

Since Colbert's show is a parody of O'Reilly's, he'll ask questions in the same style. He'll frame the question in such a way that the answer is already implied, and simply negating the question doesn't work. It's a lose-lose situation for the guest. You can't just answer the question.....you'll have to re-frame the question......turn it upside down.....don't answer until until you've re-phrased the question in YOUR frame. Another thing that will happen (just like O'Reilly) is that he'll interrupt a lot. You've got to remember what the question is and not get distracted....stay focused, stay on subject. An excellent book on 'framing' questions is 'Don't Think of an Elephant'. I highly recommend it. We'll be watching and cheering you on. Good luck!

Ma ry · 3 years ago

Just zing it right back to him. Hopefully Steven will lead you into liberal talk and at least give you a chance. He really is not right wing, although lately I think he is believing his character too much. He really appears to be more open to left quests, because Steven is! But just try and surprise him. He will let you go on about Wal-Mart, for a while...He will do you justice. I have noticed, howerver, that he has slacked off with his quick witted put-downs for the right wingers. I need to write him about that.

Baub Bidon · 3 years ago

Hi Robert,

Eye don't know exactly what you should say...eye am not really a big fan of tell-lie-vision. Speaking as a human being/Poet/Activist and Humanitarian, My advice is, go there and be yourself. One thing people do respect is wit and humor. My favorite is the tai-chi type aproach. In Tai-chi, one would use the oponents weight, speed and force to their advantage; what they shoot is what they get. So eye tend to add leverage for them to either jump high or fall hard.

The media loves controversy anyways, so you should hold no punches. If a question is asked that you think might corner you, then reverse that same question and deliver it in different wording, to the point that not even he noticed you did that. The business is all about word play and who dominates the language best...and eye am not refering to the elitist /webster type venecular, eyem talking about speaking in a wise but broadly understandable tone...ie; streight english.

Eye trust that you have already done your homework, so everything else would be first language to you. Just remember that you cannot make everybody happy, so that's why being who you are is important. Just take a nice hot shower before bed, pick up a book (something informative) and read till you fall a-sleep on the pages. As soon as you get up, before speaking with anyone, quickly pick up a piece of paper and jot down several notes without edit...a lot of ideas will come out of that.

Sorry eye rambled on so much, eye just want you to know that you have mine and everybody who stands for justice, freedom and equality behind you...JUST DO IT.

One/Peace and Power: Baub

Carole · 3 years ago

A sense of humor doesn't keep a bloodhound at bay, but it does make the
chase more fun. Have your facts and research on target and have fun. This is the comedy channel.

Lee McCormick · 3 years ago

The Georgetown Law and Policy Institute

The Georgetown Environmental Law and Policy Institute is a great resource for boning up on the problems of enforcement of environmental law. Environmental laws are passed by federal and state legislatures and agencies, such as the Environmental Protection Agency. However, enforcement of these laws is carried out through the state and local courts, with state and local judges, most of whom are elected. The anti-environment movement in the United States has been waging a successful war in this area by funding the elections of judges who do not enforce environmental laws. This has gone largely under the radar, and the significance has not registered with the general public, or even professionals in the field. The Institute for Legal Reform (the legal arm of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce) launched a campaign to support the election of pro-business judges in a number of states. You can read all about it at the Georgetown Environmental Law and Policy Institute homepage. Just follow this link:

http://www.law.georgetown.edu/gelpi/sjelect/

Lionel Heredia · 3 years ago

Remember what you wear on that show is like a visual advertisment that will send a message every time the camera cuts to you. A pendent (American Flag, Liberty Bell, etc) will make it's own statement and he may pick up on that. I would choose a tie that makes a statement. Be aware of how the director cuts to cameras, so if you want to make a point and talk to us "the television audience" look at the camera with the tally light on, not at your host! Television host's and news reporters know that game very well as they do it all the time. Stay loose and cool. Do you have a surprise gift for him that you could pull out from your coat? Don't let any of his production staff know you have it. You will know if the moment is right, then spring it on him. You may decide not to pull it off. The point is, like a good comedian, have options baby! Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lionel Heredia · 3 years ago

Remember what you wear on that show is like a visual advertisment that will send a message every time the camera cuts to you. A pendent (American Flag, Liberty Bell, etc) will make it's own statement and he may pick up on that. I would choose a tie that makes a statement. Be aware of how the director cuts to cameras, so if you want to make a point and talk to us "the television audience" look at the camera with the tally light on, not at your host! Television host's and news reporters know that game very well as they do it all the time. Stay loose and cool. Do you have a surprise gift for him that you could pull out from your coat? Don't let any of his production staff know you have it. You will know if the moment is right, then spring it on him. You may decide not to pull it off. The point is, like a good comedian, have options baby! Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmm · 3 years ago

Memorize your 3 talking points. If you don't want to answer a question, just use one of your points.

Smile and chuckle after each question.

Some Q&A...;

Why do you hate America?
I love America, it's Walmart that is trying to destroy the American way of life.

Why do you hate low prices?
If paying $3 more for a blender means the guy down the street from me can have a job, I'd rather do that.

Why do you hate capitalism?
Capitalism is great. Monopolies suck.

What's your beef with Walmart?
They are driving American businesses out of business, they pay slave wages while the owners rake in billions in profits. They encourage their workers to use emergency rooms and free clinics rather than pay for health care. They are a parasite.

What's wrong with profit?
Nothing, but they are destroying the American way of life to rake in their billions in profit.

I always wonder why people don't point out the fact that Walmart pays its workers minimum wage while the Walton family rakes in billions of dollars in profits.

What' s your next documentary about?
Bears.

Barb Johns · 3 years ago

1) Applaud with the audience and smile when he runs over to greet you
2) Do NOT try to be as funny or funnier than him.
3) Do NOT kiss his ass in an obvious way.
4) Laugh at his jokes, but not too much.
5) Do NOT take anything he says seriously.
6) Memorize 2 or 3 main points you want to drive home and then just repeat them, finding a way to segue the question into your answer, regardless of the question asked (I learned this from Scott McClellan... who learned it from Adolf Hitler)

Good luck, Robert. I believe in you.

Trey · 3 years ago

Put him on the defensive...ask him "What's the deal with that right ear? It gives me the willies...like carnival folks. Makes it hard to listen to whatever you're saying"

hmm · 3 years ago

Oh yeah, work your URL into one of your answers!

Robert Willard · 3 years ago

Remember, Robert, that the Colbert Report is all about him and the focus is on him being funny. Even though he started on the Daily Show which is sometimes topical and inciteful, Colbert's show is a little different. He makes a mokery of pretty much everything he comments on and his interviews are basically no different than the feature reports he would file on the Daily Show. In fact, I have noticed that he thrives on awkwardness and embarassment. Look for him to try and push you towards such things. The important point to remember is not to try and use this appearence to promote any agenda and/or message. It's his show and I am pretty sure that he will arrange things so that he cannot be upstaged by anyone. Jon Stewart is an inciteful, literate, respectful host when it comes to having interaction with guests. Steven Colbert is more about shock and trivial humor at the expense of anything or anyone. Maybe the best tactic is to let him lead and play along with him. Too many times I have seen guests on these type of shows try and use their appearance to control the debate and make the host seem uninformed or foolish. Trust me, that will never happen on Steven Colbert's goofy show. Remember, they only gave him his own show because he tested well on the Daily Show. It is more about ratings than political responsibility. After all, it's Comedy Central for crying out loud, not 60 minutes. My advice is just get it over with and move on. Your a brave man to take on this interview and I agree that you should do it rather than decline the offer as others have done I'm sure. Good luck and don't worry. It will be fine and think of it this way. Your documentary work will outlast his little show which I predict will last only one more season. Keep up the very good work.
Sincerely,
Robert Willard

Lee McCormick · 3 years ago

I just had another idea.
There is some evidence (not conclusive) that plastics are a factor in the declining ages of the onset of puberty in girls. The additives Bisphenol A and phthalates are the main suspects. You can follow this link and read about it.
http://www.mindfully.org/Pesticide/Early-Pubert...

You might wonder how plastics are working their way into our diets. One way is at rendering plants. For instance, dead dogs end up being tossed in, and nobody bothers to remove their collars. Or expired packages of meat from supermarkets get tossed in, and nobody takes the time to remove the packaging. After it is rendered, some of it goes into animal feed, and we end up eating the animals. You can read about “The Dark Side of Recycling” by Keith Woods. Just follow this link:
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines02/0106-02...

I’m not suggesting that we should abandon our recycling efforts. Just that we fix them. One problem is that it would be dirty, labor-intensive work. That’s one thing alternative sentencing could be used for. They are always trying to find ways to use convict labor to perform jobs which do not interfere with private industry. If they pay people to do it, it would be a burden on the rendering plants, so they don’t bother. But then we end up eating the plastic. Anyway, I think you could read these two articles and come up with something pretty funny.

PH · 3 years ago

I admire you for facing up to your fear and coming out of the hole you wanted to hide in. Don't really have any direct advice for you though. I live in Europe and don't watch Colbert. Can only wish you the best of luck!! To be who you are and to become what you are capable of becoming is the only end in life.

mb · 3 years ago

Don't say anything. Just give a goofy little chuckle every time he says something. It worked for Connie Chung and Anderson Cooper.

freedom · 3 years ago

Breath deeply, smile slightly ,maintain eye contact.

Remember he is in character. I know he's good, ....he's so good.

The Stephen inside is on your side. He will care more about you

looking good than his character being funny, maybe .

Kim S · 3 years ago

I hear he's a Northwestern U grad. That might be a decent piece of info to have somewhere along the way.

Agree with those that say you need to have a few one-liners up your sleeve. And I am wondering, now, if he is aware of this information-gathering campaign and wondering, too, if he will bring it up in your interview? You might consider being ready for that possibility also.

Susan · 3 years ago

Loved reading the suggestions to you with my morning coffee. I think the advice from people about Bears is dead on - since his character is always asking his guests "Why do you hate America? and Why to you hate our troops?" I would go with the " Why do you hate American Grizzly Bears? Don't you know they're real Americans - for pity's sake man, its even in their name? Is your middle name
America? If you really loved America you wouldn't be Stephen Colbert - you'd be Stephen America Colbert?"

Have fun!! We can't wait to see you on the show! And remember, at least you're not a congressman.... those congressional district
interviews - now those are tough!

robert fortney · 3 years ago

Turn the tables:

1. We want and desperately need legal wiretapping for our security and Bush caused it to be leaked and exposed because of his illegal use of it. It is now less effective because of Bush.

2. Our "Bagdad Bob" is Bagdad Cheney who says that all the "escalating car bombs and bloodshed just means we are winning."

3. Rumsfeld said this is not a guerilla war. What is it then?

4. Bush said this is hardly a civil war. The news from over there today is that local militias are now responsible for most of the killings in Iraq, not Al Queda.

5. Bush is campaigning against treatment of PTSD by having the name changed and removed from the Social SecurityAdministration's diagnostic listings in order to save money. One third of our troops are coming back with it. Bush is abandoning our troops.

John D · 3 years ago

Play dumb? Don't understand his questions. Tell him you'll have to watch Hannity&Colmes; first, then you can parrot an answer. Also out of the blue, ask him if he's taken any money from Jack Abramhoff. He'll turn that one on you and answer yes, then ask him how he found out about it? At some point ask him if he's going to throw you off the show?
Good luck John

Ray Arsenault · 3 years ago

Cobert is on your side. Help him be funny. Promote his caricature of The Fox Fool. And maybe have a transmitter protruding in the back of your sports coat. If you get stuck - fiddle with your ear and whisper - "I can't hear you." Tell Cobert it's something you picked up during the last presidential debate.

Ray

Steve · 3 years ago

Couple of things you can do to "soften" Stephen up: he HATES bears (thinks they're "killing machine") so any reference to how bad Bush is vs. bears will make him laugh. He implores people to eat more BLTs (I know it sounds dumb, but it's very funny) so a note there might work. If you upset him, he puts you on his "Dead to Me List" (might be fun to have one of your own). Best, idea, though, is to do something around O'Reilly. He refers to O'Reilly as "Papa Bear". Maybe find some dorky O'Reilly stuff (or buy some stuff from the FOX store) get it autogrpahed (even if you forge it) and present it to him. This show, and Stephen's interviewing style, is very sardonic. He's very quick-witted and will hear everything you say - so don't try to be serious - play with him and he will play back.

Ron Fisher · 3 years ago

I haven't had time to read all the posts so far so please excuse me if I'm being redundant.

Stephen Colbert is a master of ironic sarcasm. He is basically a parody of Bill O'Reilly. Therefore your approach should be as a parody of yourself - your answers must be extreme and overgeneralizing and made with riteous indignation- all the time with a twinkle in your eye. If you could learn to raise one eyebrow it would be extremely helpful.

Be prepared for "Why do you hate America?"

One or two shots of scotch in the green room might be warranted.

Good luck. We'll be rooting for you.

Ron Fisher.
Sylva, NC

Sage · 3 years ago

Tell him that because Walmart is exporting all our jobs to China there is less near to expand our industry back home, which only gives more land back to the bears, ie a vote for Walmart is vote for more bears. Then say "I nailed you didnt I !"(You would be playing his game and he would liekly go along)/ You can throw in some stats with outsourcing of jobs and still be funny. Let his mock_foxnews character take your side.

John Franks · 3 years ago

Robert,

Try a different tack. Colbert is the penultimate right-wing pundit (the souls of Hannity, Limbough, Matthews, and McCarthy all embodied in his personna) who no matter what you say will be twisted to a) make you look like a traitor, a wimp, a tree hugger, a hopeless ethical humanist, or b) a supporter of President Bush. He does this so well that it's almost believable.

So don't defend your Wal-Mart movie and don't talk about it. In fact, since this is satire at its best, I suggest that you attack him as an employer. Go look at his 'annual reviews' that he did of his staff on TV last week. Disect them, critique them, and suggest where he could a) impose new draconian work rules to make his employees more productive, b) replace them with undocumented workers, or c) outsource them to Singapore or Thailand.

Good luck.

Brian DeVore · 3 years ago

Ask him, why is it that the most powerful and rich nation in the world pays more than anyone else for healthcare? Especially when we should be spending that money on oil.

Thom delForge · 3 years ago

A point about global warming that may put Stephen off guard -- shrinking ice caps = more BEARS in our back yards! -- POLAR BEARS! Good luck -- and thank you for your work.

Louise · 3 years ago

Take a page out of Bill Clinton's playbook and give them the answers to questions that they haven't even asked! Watch some old Clinton tapes to see what I mean--Bill would get a broadside about something he didn't want to go into, and he say "You talkin' about 'X' reminds me of "Y"..." Then he'd proceed to talk about about "Y" until the time ran out. If the other guest or commentator interruped him, he'd smile good naturedly, chuckle a little, and say "Whoa, now let me finish my point..." Bill never, ever lost his cool doing this, which is also very important. Good Luck!

Jktravl · 3 years ago

When he asks "Why do you hate America?" just tell him you are fighting for every american who thinks gas prices are too high and what you would like to see is a president and cabinet that's tied in with big oil companies so they could fix it for the people.

Oh and remember, it's all about the exposure!

Albert · 3 years ago

Tell him your next project is going to be on the propaganda and brainwashing aspect of TV news programs and would he like to be the narrator or maybe even co-direct it with you. Don't be grim and keep your sense of humor - its a comedy show. IMPORTANT - bring him a bobble-head of Dubya. The audience will get the subtle message. An action figure of Dubya might be more appropiate but not as funny.

J.D. · 3 years ago

I suspect Colbert will have heard of your internet request for ways of dealing with him and will use it to claim something like you can't think for yourself. One response to a criticism of asking for ideas is that, unlike current politicians, you feel it is important to hear from the people.

I look forward to seeing you on the show!

JR · 3 years ago

On subject of immigration reform, if he repeats Bush's statement that immigrants perform "work Americans won't do," ask why is that? Does Bush mean that only immigrants should perform menial labor at slave wages? Insulting to immigrants. Or does he mean that Americans are too lazy or too arrogant to perform good old-fashioned manual labor? Insulting to Americans. Work should not be categorized as "for Americans" or "not for Americans." ANY work has dignity if the workers are treated with dignity, whether they are Americans or not, and whether it is skilled or unskilled labor. If the labor is required, it should be compensated. Employers should be held accountable for hiring and exploiting "slave labor." Regardless of the type of work, If companies cannot pay a decent wage that attracts people regardless of their nationality, that company should be shut down.

Keysha · 3 years ago

Big smile..and tell him.."You're a poor man's Brokaw and a rich man's John Stewart."

Also..whatever you say..give it that soft french "rt" like Colebear...I think he'll apprecaite it.

Well he will ask you questions like..why do you hate democracy? or why are against productivity and consumerism?

And just say..I'm totally for it, when it benefits everyone..especially handsome news anchors..wink wink...and then challenge him to a break dance fight!
Best of Luck!

Chris · 3 years ago

All I have to say is... good luck.

Maybe you should bring a small figurine of a bear. If you get boxed into a corner, pull it out and use it the same way you would use a cross with a vampire.

Sarah · 3 years ago

WEAR A "JON STEWART FOR PRESIDENT" T-SHIRT....OR "STEWART/COLBERT 2008" T=SHIRT!!!! PLEASE!!!!

Shirley Tomczak · 3 years ago

Robert,

I don't envy you and yet I do. The Colbert Report is my FAVORITE TV. I have noticed the guests who do well are those who acknowledge that Steven is very quick & funny-(laugh when he catches you with a funny line;) and yet get their message across. Don't try to preach. Have a few key words that you know you want to use. Be centered and allow your wit to work. And,above all: don't forget to BREATHE. The ones who try to hold their breath and "get through" the interview are the ones who develop nervous facial tics.

I don't see Steven as someone who tries to humiliate the people he has on to interview. He saves that for his congressional interviews or his team's funny spots. And some of those people are definitely not too bright, so they are easy targets.

Relax, Breathe, acknowledge that you are with the brightest wit in his field right now, and get a few of your points across while you get some laughs yourself.

Godd Luck--I'll be watching and breathing with you!

Shirley Tomczak